Complicated

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Chapter 4: Life Goes On

The Next Day

Calleigh was angry to say the least. She was pacing in the living room.

It was her day off. The previous evening Ryan managed to persuade her to have a little break and maybe to see the doctor as he was rather worried about her. So finally she gave in and she actually went to the doctor. However, this wasn't the reason why she felt like exploding. The doctor had confirmed her pregnancy and she was happy beyond words about that. Six weeks. She was six weeks pregnant. It was so unbelievable.

The problem was that she had talked to Jake. She didn't want to but it was inevitable. After all she hadn't even rung him up since she arrived. So he did ring her up as she had been back to Miami, according to his knowledge, for a whole day and she hadn't been at home yet. As if he had missed me. Calleigh thought bitterly. She went to meet him in a café and have the much needed talk. To say that the talk didn't really go well would be an underestimation. Jake didn't have the faintest idea that Calleigh knew about his affair. He was sweet like a good boyfriend and Calleigh was cold like a pissed off girlfriend. While Jake was trying to act like a normal couple, Calleigh did everything to keep Jake as far as possible. Finally Calleigh couldn't bear Jake any longer and spat into his face that she knew everything then she left. She so wanted to hit him.

And now she was pacing in Ryan's apartment still wanting to hit something, anything. Or shoot it. It'd be better… for her at least.

When later that day Ryan was walking in the corridor towards his apartment, the apartment that now he was sharing with Calleigh, he heard some noise coming out from one of the apartments. Great, Johnny is at home! He thought resigned. There was a teenage boy next door who was constantly listening to metal music not exactly discretely. But this time something was strange. The nearer he got to his door, the louder the music became.

He stepped into the apartment and stopped shell shocked in the door. Loud black metal music was blurting out of the loudspeakers… in his apartment. He almost went deaf.

He went to the living room to turn the stereo off and maybe to find Calleigh but he stopped once again in the door. In the room there was Calleigh… lying on the coach fast asleep. He couldn't believe it. After a little while he couldn't bear the noise any longer and turned it off. On the shelf next to the stereo there was a CD box. He took it up. Arch Enemy? Where the hell did it come from? He scratched his head confused.

As soon as the music went silent Calleigh began to stir.

"Ryan?" She said sleepily. "Why did you turn it off?"

"Hey, Cal! Um…Well… It was rather loud." He could see on Calleigh's guilty face that she hadn't thought about it before. "It doesn't matter." He said smiling reassuringly. "We could always tell the neighbors that it was Johnny from next door. By the way what the hell was that? I've never imagined you as a metal fan."

"Oh, sorry for that but I was rather angry and felt like shooting somebody. It calmed me down."

"I could see that." He said smiling although he became rather concerned. He sat down next to her as she sat up on the coach. "Why were you angry? Did the doctor say something? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am all right, Ryan. Don't worry." She gave him a reassuring smile seeing his concern. He was so sweet. "I'm completely healthy." And so is the baby. But it wasn't the subject that she'd have liked to discuss at the moment.

"Then what happened?"

The smile disappeared from Calleigh's face and she didn't even answer immediately.

"I talked to Jake… How can he look into my eyes after what he had done as if nothing had happened? It so pissed me off."

"Did you tell him that you know about him?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I left. I thought I spare him the explanation." She looked in front of her a little while looking sad but after a few seconds she looked up at Ryan with a smile on her face. "Can we talk about something else, please?" He smiled back at her understandingly then something occurred to him.

"Is that your CD?" He held up the box, which remained in his hand, disbelief written all over his face. He couldn't believe that Calleigh was listening to that stuff. Calleigh blushed furiously while grabbed the box from his hand.

"Of course. Why? What did you think I listen to? Boy bands? Now that would be gross." With that she stood up and turned the stereo back on then turned back to Ryan with a huge grin on her face.

Ryan shook his head wincing at the loud music. He didn't exactly like it but as long as it made Calleigh relax and put that smile on her face, he could live with that.

It certainly would be an interesting thing to live with Calleigh.

CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI

Next day Ryan asked Calleigh when she wanted to move out from Jake's. After a little hesitation she decided that the sooner the better, after all she had already passed a deadlock. After having faced Jake, she felt relieved. Her disappointment and uncertainty disappeared. Now she felt simply anger. She couldn't believe that she had been so frightened of talking to him. Granted that she didn't really talk to him but still… it felt good that she had done it. Now she could go on with her life.

Ryan offered that he would help her moving out so finally they decided that they would do it in the weekend.

The weekend came and they found themselves standing in front of Calleigh's house on Saturday morning. Calleigh took a deep breath then knocked on the door. She felt prepared for whatever excuses Jake wanted to offer her. She didn't really want to hear them, however. She was resolved to leave him.

"Calleigh!" Jake answered the door. He didn't even acknowledge Ryan.

"Morning, Jake!" She greeted him with a not so sincere smile. "I don't want to disturb you. We just came to pack my things. Just pretend that we're not even here!" With that she passed Jake and stepped into the house. Ryan followed her but he didn't have to go far as Calleigh stopped right in the entrance hall.

She just stood there shocked. He just couldn't have done that! All of her things were packed up in boxes and put into the hall. She didn't know what to feel. Suddenly many different feelings attacked her and among them she finally could identify the ones which were the strongest. She felt hurt and furious. Had he ever wanted her in his life? Suddenly she felt sick.

"Look, Calleigh…" Jake began.

Calleigh took a deep breath and turned to face Jake.

"No. I don't want to hear any of it." She said firmly then turned to Ryan with a forced smile. "It seems that we'll finish fast. Let's start." With that she grabbed a box and went to the car.

"You know, you are sickening, Berkeley." Ryan spat at him then grabbed a box.

He saw how taken aback Calleigh was and he was well aware of what that act of Jake meant. He didn't want Calleigh. Maybe he had never wanted her he was just playing with her. What the hell was he thinking?

"It's not as if she had had a hard time to go on." Jake added as Ryan passed him.

"You want to tell me something, Jake?" Ryan turned around annoyed at the supposition Jake's statement implied. "Because if I were you, I'd keep my opinion to myself. Not everybody is like you, you know."

Fortunately Jake made him scarce for the rest of the packing and, thanks to him, they could really finish quickly.

In the car Calleigh was staring out of the window deep in her thoughts. Ryan occasionally glanced at her but otherwise kept his eyes on the road. After a little while he heard Calleigh laughing out bitterly.

"I'm so pathetic, am I not?" She turned towards him. "I mean why I am so angry?" She was really annoyed with herself. She didn't like feeling those things that she was feeling at that moment. Usually she was able to get through them really fast but now it wasn't the case.

Ryan glanced at her.

"No. You have every right to feel angry… or hurt. You trusted him and you love him and he, apparently, doesn't share this feeling. What's more, he lied to you. Again. Your feelings are understandable. But you know what? You'll get trough this and you'll find the good man."

Calleigh laughed again and this time she turned her body towards him as well when she began to speak.

"You see, that's the whole point. I don't love him and I think I'd never be able to trust him completely. And I didn't want to give him another chance at all. I wanted to leave him and still I feel hurt." She looked out of the window again. "I guess it's just my ego. I feel used. That's why I'm so angry with him. But that's still pathetic. I should be happy about it being so simple." At least the 'leaving Jake' part.

Ryan glanced at her again and he could clearly see that she was really angry. Both at Jake and herself.

"Open up the glove compartment!" He said.

"What?"

"Just open it!"

She did and she found her CD inside it.

"Did you put it there?" She asked now smiling.

"I thought it'd come in handy. Now, put it in!"

"Thank you, Ryan."

After the loud metal music began to fill the air there was no more conversation in the car. Both of the occupants were deep in their own thoughts during the rest of the drive. Ryan's thoughts went back to Calleigh's statements. I don't love him and I think I'd never be able to trust him completely. And I didn't want to give him another chance at all. He couldn't help smiling at this. She didn't love him and never had.

Calleigh, on the other hand, was contemplating her feelings towards Jake. More exactly her feelings towards Jake's being the father of her baby. She hadn't given much thought of it yet because it had seemed natural to tell him about his baby but now she really had to decide whether she wanted Jake in the life of the child or not. It wasn't a simple question. She knew that Jake had still every right to be a father but he didn't want her in his life. So what if she hadn't wanted him in her and her child's life, either?

She put her hand on her belly and closed her eyes. She had to decide what to do. And she had to do it soon.

When did her life become so complicated?

TBC

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