Chapter 6.

A tall wardrobe and uncle sparky.

Hello again!

Before you begin to read the next amusing instalment I would like to point something out that could bring light into broken hearts –that or get some people very mad at me…-;

This chapter was much, much longer. This is only about a quarter of its size. And yes you will read the rest of the chap, it just that I wanted to post something, and I felt it could be stopped here and leave enough suspense for some angry (but faithful) reviews. Don't worry though, I am almost finished the next chapter and can guarantee that it will be up and ready for your enjoyment in only a few days time!

So with that out of the way, I also wanted to mention to everyone that this will not be a seductive fic (hence the low rating), there will be some Roy+Ed but it wont be in a pornographic way, or in a way that makes Roy seem like a paedophile, nor will they have sex in Maes' house. Trust me, I am not that sick.

On the though of sickness, you should all be happy to know that I am no longer sick! After 17 solid hours of straight sleep and a few days with a tissue stuffed up my nose and I am fine!

Soooooo, a HUGE thank you to; coopers muse, VenusOfHecate (dose the name have a meaning? Or is its complicated spelling just for kicks?), rivenmist, batdiva101,destiny wings, mokona soel, misty-nala. and Demond-kitty-chan. for all your great and much uplifting reveiws!

also a thanks to: Din7, monkey and cookie. for fav adds! (or maby it was alerts...i cant remember also if i diddnt put you name down its not my fault i blame the computer!)

A massive thanks to mrawgirl09 for correcting a few hasty mistakes in this chap for me, i wouldnt have spotted them without you! oh, and desencitized means you/they have been around a substance or anoying obect long enough to not realize its happening, or are able to ignore it. so dose that make sence now? I replaced this chap with the improvements so i hope i got all the mistakes! thanks for your help.

Now, on with the show!

Disclaimer: They own the neighbourhood, I just rent the house.

Belledonner. (please leave a review for a patheticly needy autheress?)

Edward sulked.

Then brooded.

Sulked again, kicked a few hard inanimate objects which only resulted in a hurt foot, a slight dent (Winry was going to kill him for that) and some splintered furniture –which he chose not to fix-.

Then pouted.

But because there was no one there to watch his attempt of unhappiness he ended up sitting on the floor trying very hard to get a little girl down from the top of the wardrobe. At least he was wearing something other than boxers now. Though this isn't much better, Edward thought with a whine.

He was now wearing a holy t-shirt with the words 'You can give the military your money,' on the front, and on the back it read 'but you cant make it think.' Except it looked as though someone had attacked it with a black pen and so it now read, 'don't give Roy your money, but you can make him drink!'

It hung past his knees, and below his elbows. His hair –some of which was incrusted in dried snot- was sticking up all around his face, half a hairbrush sticking out from the fray from where it had lodged itself when Gracia tried to defy the frizz. At least it was better than the other option –apparently Elysia had been given some cloths to grow into-.

Elysia. 'Daddy's little angle,' my ass. Edward thought as she threw a toy at him. All her had done was ignore her, then attempt to play 'dollies' with her, though even he could admit putting a armoured tank in the cake was a little over kill. And what did he get for his efforts? A grumpy 2 year old that wouldn't come down from the wardrobe roof.

"GET DOWN HERE!" he screeched, rolling out of the way as porcelain faced dolls rained down, he yelped in protest as one skimmed past his face. "PLEASE!" he pleaded, but it fell only on the deaf ears of the stuffed toy thrown in Edward's direction. "How the devil did you get up there anyhow? Are you trying to insinuate something here?!" he muttered, glaring up at Elysia as she picked which ammunition to use next.

The wardrobe was so big. Even on his toes with his arm stretched as far as they would go, he still couldn't reach the ledge Elysia had scrambled onto.

How would he explain this one to Hughes?

A restraunt in north central:

...

"Uh-oh,"

"What now?!" Gracia said with a long suffered sigh.

"Elysia seems to be out of Edward reach, literally –though, it's not like that's hard-." He muttered, pressing an ear to the box on the table, the box with wires running out the restaurant door and to the power post outside.

"And he will deal with it."

"But Gracia! What if our precious ickle snookums falls?" Maes asked with earth shattering shock written across his face.

"I am not leaving this restaurant Maes. Do you remember the last time we wentout?"

"It was barely a few weeks-"

"Without Elysia?""

"I believe it was about a month or so-"

"Before the pregnancy."

"Well yes, but Elysia is such good dinner company! She is like our very own entrée of love!"

"I have just about had enough of the entrée! I need a main course! A dinner for two."

A startled waiter jumped back as Gracia slammed a fist into the table next to her own entrée. And she looked like such a gentle woman too, the waiter thought.

"But what if-"

"No 'if's no 'but's, I am NOT leaving. If you're so worried, call Roy and get him to stop over an check up on Edward."

Static filled the silence –Maes was cowering behind the flower vase as his usually placid wife glared daggers at him. -

This was followed buy:

"A WARDROBE!?" Maes screeched, nocking over his own meal as the speaker on the table blurted out a series of ed-rant-like noises.

"I am sure Ed can handle it."

"Fine. I will let uncle sparkly know that he is now babysitting the baby sitter."

THE PHONE CALL:

"Hello?"

"Uncle sparkly?"

"What do you want Maes?"

"Cant a friend just call to let you know how my err…dinner is going?"

"No. What's the problem?"

"Ugh, well you see, there seems to be a slight situation back home."

"Which would be?"

"Elysia is on top of a wardrobe throwing things at Edward."

"And this concerns me... How?"

"Because you're going to check on Edward?"

"Why don't you ask Alphonse? Or better yet, why don't you do it yourself?"

"I don't want to risk interrupting anything Alphonse might be doing, so I called the next best person! And I would do so myself in a heart beat, but alas, Gracia wont let me leave to save the poor angle."

"Why don't you just threaten her with your photos of mass destruction?"

"That wont work on Gracia."

"That's what you do with all of us, we all fear you because of it, but we also do what you say on fear of Elysia covered paper."

"What ever gave you the idea I might use my gorgeous Elysia as a black mail weapon? Either way, it won't work on my darling wife."

"Why? She too desensitised?"

"No, her photo collection of cuteness is bigger than mine."

"…"

"So you will go check on Ed for me?"

"…"

"Well thanks buddy! I knew I could count on you to get me out of a stich. Have fun now!"

Click

And all this because of one damn cold.