You don't say much on most nights. Your roommate has been in a funk. You watch as she loses an unwinnable fight. She's stubborn, more stubborn than anyone you've ever met.

You'll fight and argue with her. Fighting over something that is worth fighting for. Her dignity. Her worth. The love she gives. That love is so much more than you could have imagined. It was so bright. Something you had never seen from another person. You didn't know that someone was capable of that level of adoration for someone else.

But the person she's giving to, is nowhere near deserving of that love. Quick to throw her to the side, to drag her through the mud. A manipulating type of person, her personality waving tons of red flags since you were introduced. And slowly, you have been trying to be blunter and more up-front about the way you feel about the woman she loves so much but it doesn't sway her. Tonight, she retreats to her room early and doesn't come out.

On this specific night in question, a house a few roads down from your apartment decides to light a firework. It's nowhere near the fourth of July or New Years Eve. The sound startles you, a lasting effect that followed you home from deployment.

With the sound, you hear your roommate get up from her bed and walk down the hallway and into your room. She motions for you to scoot over, and as you do, she closes the window to your room that faces the road and takes her spot on the bed next to you.

Nothing had to be said, even as sad as she was. She knows you. You both had an unspoken understanding.

She started doing this months ago, when she started to notice your demeanor after fireworks and other loud sounds that happened out of nowhere. She never pried, never asked too many questions in fear of overstepping on a subject she knew nothing about. You both serve in the Army. You are both Sergeants (SGT) but the difference in experience was that you spent time in Afghanistan while she didn't.

Now, people will argue. A deployment doesn't make one SGT better than another. That's absolutely true and you know that. That's not the reason for pointing out the differences. It just meant, that you have vastly different experiences. Your roommate comes with an understanding that when you're ready to talk about what happened in country, then you'll open up.

You have, here and there. The topic came up in conversation one night while you both were sitting on the back patio enjoying a few beers. You kind of just blurted it out, what happened that day after the initial blast. And you just casually threw it out there, how the base was attacked, and you talked about how you felt that you couldn't be scared because you had Soldiers. Soldiers that relied on you for decisions. Split second decisions that could very well decide between life and death.

"I didn't have time to waste. I didn't think of myself," you say as you take a sip of beer. "All that mattered was them. They had people to go home to."

"Britt, you had people to come home to also. Not just them. You had the right to be scared you know." She tells you. You look over, and see nothing but empathy written all over her face. "You know you can talk to me about anything right?" She says as she lights a cigarette.

"Yeah, I know. And I appreciate you for that."

And that was the end of that conversation.

Tonight, you get comfortable. She turns towards you - her arm snaking its way over you and instantly falls asleep.

The next morning, you wake up to an empty bed. That was normal, Santana would normally slip out before you to get ready for work. You can hear her in her bathroom, brushing her teeth.

You slowly roll out, grabbing a tan shirt and pair of green socks from your drawers and start to change.

"Britt?"

"Yeah San." You answer. You knew that was just her way of making sure you were up for work.

You two go about your morning, putting on your uniforms. In the kitchen, she's making both of you coffee. As you walk into the kitchen, she smiles and hands you your cup. You each had your own cup, both yeti brands. Hers white in color, yours teal with a worn-down sticker on the side.

As you hold the cup in your hands, your fingers trace the outline of the sticker. Knicked and abused from the months of using it in-country.

Santana smiles as she walks by you towards the door. "See you at work?" She throws over her shoulder.

"Yeah. I'll meet you for lunch."

She leaves, and in turn leaves you with your thoughts.

Ever since moving in with Santana, life has been pretty good. She owned a really nice townhouse. Yeah, you couch surfed for a while but when her roommate finally moved out, you finally got a room. The first night was the best. You set up your room, put your clothes away and laid down on your bed. That night when Santana got home from work, she walked in and smiled.

"Us living together is going to be the best."

And right she was.

You met Santana nearly a decade ago. She was active duty, stationed at Fort Lewis while you were serving in the National Guard. You hit her up on Instagram, sending her a DM saying that you thought she was cute. And you two hit it off. It ultimately didn't work out, mostly because you decided to get back together with your ex and that was the end of whatever you both had.

Saying that it was a regret, getting back together with your ex? Yeah, that would be an understatement. Your relationship with your ex was excruciating. But you liked the idea of love. Being with someone and talking to them about your day after getting home from work. You always pictured that with Santana but because she was active duty and far away, it wasn't something you could see in your immediate future.

You both hung out a few times since then, especially when she moved back home and enlisted in the National Guard alongside you. But it wasn't until this last year that you really started talking again and hung out on fourth of July.

Santana picked you up from your place and drove onto base. Active duty bases always had free fireworks shows and so you both decided to just enjoy the show there.

1 Year Ago

You were at the grocery store when your phone rang.

Santana Lopez, the display read.

Odd, because it had been a few months since the two of you had any type of conversation. You answer anyway. She asks if you want to watch the fireworks from base. It was an easy yes. Fireworks were the best, and you knew that you'd feel better watching with someone rather than alone. Your roommates weren't home and so you didn't want to spend a depressing 4th of July on the couch with nothing but your beer and a bag of popcorn.

In the matter of 30 minutes, Santana pulls up in front of your place and parks. She hops out, sporting short denim shorts and a RVCA tank top. Hair down, straightened. She smiles, and you're reminded all over again, why you had such a crush on her in the first place.

"Britt!" She exclaims, running over to hug you. "It's been fucking forever since I've seen you."

You release from the hug, looking at her. "I know right?" You reply. "It's been a long time."

She grabs the cooler from next to you and throws it in the back of her truck.

It honestly doesn't surprise you that she has a Toyota Tacoma. She was always a truck girl, really outdoorsy. Her truck smelled of strawberries and something so – familiar.

"This is my dog, Snix." She tells you as she climbs in and buckles her seatbelt.

You turn to see a beautiful colored pitbull sitting nicely in the backseat. She moves closer to you, sniffing your hand before allowing you to pet her. She's friendly and sporting a tactical style collar with her name on it.

"She's pretty. Hi Snix!"

"You ready? Let's get outta here."

She drives you both down towards base. Once inside, Santana finds a nice spot to park near the boat harbor. It's a perfect view of the fireworks. Slowly, cars start to fill in around you and by that time you both are sitting on the back of the truck with Snix laying on a blanket closer to you.

"How long have you had her?"

"Ah, not that long maybe a year and a half? She's a rescue." She explains. "She's taking a liking to you. Normally she takes a while to warm up to people."

You laugh, because it was always something about you and animals that you could never explain. It was the same with your parents German shepherd. Sonny. He was big. Loud. And whenever you were around, he was timid and extra gentle.

The night was filled with catching up and laughter. The fireworks show was long but beautiful. The next thing you know, the parking lot is empty and the only people left are the two of you.

You follow Santana onto the dock, as she fumbles with words.

"I just, I love her. You know?" She tells you. You take Snix's leash and slip it around your wrist. "She is everything I've ever wanted."

"And so, what's stopping you then?"

"It's complicated. I wish that I could tell you more. But she's a very private person. I just wanna respect that. Plus, you probably know her." She finishes. "Actually, you probably know the other girl too."

"Other girl?! Come on now. Now I wanna know."

She laughs, shaking her head. "I want to tell you. And it's not that I don't trust you or anything, cause I do. But it's just-"

"It's just that you want to respect her wishes to remain private about it." You add, smiling. "Loyal aren't you?"

"Very. Which, you missed out on." She says as she flips her hair over her shoulder playfully.

"Relax. That was so long ago. If you want to date me now, just say so." You say as you both break out in laughter.

You both talk on the dock for another thirty minutes before she takes you back home. A part of you doesn't want the night to end. Moving from home to a new city was big and you felt lonely for a while. But now, having friends and having Santana around has made it that much better.

You hug Santana before you climb out of her truck and watch from the driveway as she drives off.

Your phone vibrates.

See you this weekend? It reads.

Yeah. See you then.

You lock up the house and leave work. The drive to the unit was only about ten minutes, which was such a blessing. You've never worked so close to home so being able to sleep in a little longer was something you greatly appreciated.

Your phone starts to ring, and you look over at it and unsurprising to you – it was Santana.

"Yooo."

"You leave the house already?" She asks.

You change lanes to the right, turning your blinker on to turn in and turn around to head back to the house. "Yeah, how come?"

"Take leave today. We go beach."

Authors Note : I've tried to write this story a thousand times. I've written, re-written and put it to the side. But I was told, that writing this would help. I started a story similar to this on my regular fanfic account but because I have friends on there i've decided to start this account.

Based on a true story - a memoir of a time that feels so long ago yet not at the same time.