Edward wanted to die

for all those whom are confused; i did post this originally a while ago, but i decided it happened too suddenly so i put another in to bridge the gap, good enough?

Another short chapter, I know, but honestly, when I started, each of these chaps was supposed to be under 500 words long!! You got the good end of the stick people!

SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO…FREE CAKE FOR ALL!! As promised, though I will give donuts and pretty looking patstrys if I reach 45!!

Big thanks to: Amysterious (cara, thanks for the reveiw!). Starbucks galaxy (athena!!). Rivenmist (and you shall have CAKE!!). VenusOfHecate (Yep, very loyal...much like a dog in that aspect runs away...but your ausam all the same?). Ria442 (no cake for you! bad girl, bad!).

THANK YOU ALL!!

Disclaimer; they own the neighborhood, I just rent the house –though the land lords must hate me cause I continuously screw with their characters and vandalize the town-

On with the show!!

Belledonner.

Edward wanted to die. He wanted to kill his brain. He wanted to kill Mustang, then himself – but no, that would just look like some sort of Gay Double Suicide. Or homosexual homicide. Homo-cide. Wait-wait, what? He was not gay! He was just attracted to Roy, but that didn't mean he was gay…that just meant…well that Roy wasn't a man a therefore did not count.

And the fact that Maes had caught them doing something that would be defined very…gay… was only a minor factor. And therefore did not count.

Edward Elric was not gay.

OoO

"I'm err…very clumsy?" Roy said, knowing full well that Maes would not believe a bar of it, especially after having found them in the downstairs bathroom, door ajar, with Roys hand down Ed's pants and his tongue down his throat, but he tried anyway.

"Clumsy?" Maes said, his voice filled with un-masked doubt and skepticism, with no small amount of amusement and the 'I told you so' tone he was just so good at.

Clumsy; It was one of the many adjectives Edward had for him, along with basted, oafish, stupid, moronic, idiotic, bloody, fucking, blasted, -and when he was being particularly villain-esque; nincompoopy.

And to make matters worse, he couldn't seem to get his hand out from the tightly clinging leather of Edwards pants.

After the two had not moved to respond after a few moments, Maes continued, "what the hell have you two been subjecting my daughter too?"

"Nothing, nothing at all." Roy said smoothly as he stepped in front of the blond (who was apparently attempting to mimic a tomato.), his hand suspiciously behind his back with Edward. "In any case, she was already asleep."

"But I checked, my angles' not in her bed." Maes accused, pointing a finger at Roy's barely covered chest. A hest that appeared to be covered in the suspicious looking purple-red marks that also covered his neck.

"I never said she was asleep in her bed. I believe you would be able to find her above the wardrobe?" Roy said in a voice so completely innocent that it almost covered the scowl on his face.

"I thought I sent you to keep an eye on the babysitter, Roy, and my daughter. But it seems you have been keeping both eyes on Edward." Maes sighed theatrically, "So after you have…finished, I am sure Gracia would like to say hello before you leave to continue this elsewhere?" with a knowing wink he shut the door.

"Crap! Er Roy, can you get your hand, er, out? NOW!" Edward screeched from his place squished between the wall and Roys back.

"Ugh, actually, I think I may be, erm, stuck?"

"Oh!" Maes called from the other side of the door, causing both alchemists to jump in fright and Edward to moan from what the motion did to Roy's hand. "I forgot to tell you, Edward ol' buddy, Alphonse said you cant go home tonight, I have the feeling he needs his privacy just as much as you two."

"So, Winry's back in town," Edward mumbled, his flush slowly receding to a scowl, "I don't see why Alphonse never tells me about these things, dose he think I am that oblivious?"

"Of course not." Mustang murmured still managing to sound patronizing even in their current situation. He turned to face the blond again, wriggling his hand to try and get himself unstuck. "Well I guess we will have to do something about this."

And the thing was, neither party were too forlorn about this fact.

Even if Edwards nose and mouth was covered in snot.

All because of one damn cold.

AN: can anyone else see where this might be going…?

winner of 'just for kicks' comp!...VenusOfHecate!! with the quote:

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, but what is today but yesterday's tomorrow..."

i like it.

do we have any more entrees for the next chap?