Seriously. Just don't. And don't ask, either.
-x-x-x- three years later -x-x-x-
"So you're the newbie, eh?" Lae asked, as he escorted Mr. Myde Highmore through the halls to show him his new patients.
"Um, yea! I just got out of college and they sent me here!" Myde smiled nicely.
"Cool, cool. Me n' Reno are just glad that we're gonna have some help on little Ien. He's really sweet n' all, but when he goes all Malachi on us, he raises hell. SO, we're glad to have ye," Lae explained, as they reached another patients door.
"This is Amity Cleaver. He believes he is an inhabitant of Wonderland and acts like the Cheshire cat." He quickly explained.
He walked in the room and said hello, asking how he was. "Has thou slain the Jabberwock?" Was all that was said from the boy.
"Why, yes, Amity. I have. Here's yer pills, see you later," They waved and Lae walked out, dragging Myde to another room.
At that point, Reno had caught up with them. "This the new kid?"Yea."Hmm. Bet he won't last a month, fifty bucks says so."Tch, you're on!"
"Excuse me?" Myde asked, confused. This only caused both men to chuckle.
"Heh, we're kidding, we're kidding. But seriously, though. You probably won't last long against the kid, we're barely able to ourselves. The longest anyone else was able to manage Mally was… Oh I don't know, a month or two? You'll never make it!" Reno explained, before getting distracted by a security guard named Rude.
"Ooooh…" He grinned slyly, before slinking off towards said officer.
Lae rolled his eyes, before leading Myde the rest of the way to this 'Ien's' room.
"This is-"He started, but when he glanced in the window, he abruptly stopped. What he saw (A small puddle of blood from under the bed), Myde didn't know.
"Fuck," Lae mumbled under his breath. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He glanced over his shoulder to Myde.
"Hey, um… Oh hey! Elly! Why don't you go and take Myde and give him… a, a tour or something, m'kay? Yea thanks!" He frantically said, shoving Myde towards Aeleus, who happened to be walking by at the moment.
He looked confused for a second, before asking, "Malachi?" and getting a frantic nod from Lae.
"RENO!!! RENO YOU ASS IT'S MALACHI, GET OVER HERE!" He then abruptly yelled, quickly glancing into the small door window.
"Shit… HURRY UP!!" He screamed again, and this time Reno came into view.
He was shirtless, save the open white coat that matched Lae's, and he was hastily trying to button his light blue jeans while sliding around on the tile in his socks, his black goggles missing and his hair undone.
Everyone seemed to not care about Reno's current appearance.
The last thing Myde got to see as he was being dragged off by Aeleus was Lae and Reno flying through the mysterious door, shouting, "MALACHI, WE'RE COMIN' IN!!" at the top of their lungs.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Aeleus, knowing full well that Lae just needed to get the new employee away from the scene temporarily, dragged this 'Myde' person to the cafeteria.
"I'm sorry about that…" He said, sighing right before he took a bite out of his veggie burger.
"What was all that about??" Myde asked, thoroughly confused.
Aeleus sighed again. "That was Ienzo Zalman. He's your patient, I believe?"
"Yes, that's what Reno and Lae told me," Myde answered him, slightly nodding while he chomped on his ice cream bar.
"But I thought his name was Mala-"That's only one of his personalities' names," Aeleus interrupted him, right before finishing off his sandwich and throwing the wrapper away in the yellow trashcan that stood behind them.
"One of them-"Yes. He has four all together. Here, shall I take you to my office and give you his file? You will find it handy for your own safety, and for knowledge of your other patients that you will be working with,"
"Cool! I'm all for it!" Myde told him, and with that, both men went to stand up to leave.
But instead of being able to do so, Lae and Reno showed up.
They plopped down in the seats next to both Myde and Aeleus and greeted them, pulling out identical sandwiches to nom on.
Myde took note of them both being covered in Band-Aids and bruises.
"U-um… What happened?"
"Wha- Oh. It was Malachi; but this is normal. He just wasn't as horrible today," Reno explained.
"What did he try and do this time?" Aeleus asked, taking out a notepad to write things down.
"Oh, um… He managed to sharpen his toothbrush to a psycho sharp point and was slicing himself up; nothing too unusual," Lae said, reaching in his pocket and pulling out an orange plastic toothbrush that was short and ridiculously pointy, and covered in blood.
Aeleus sighed in disgust as he dropped it on the table, and picked it up with a napkin and threw it away.
"So where is he now? And did you think to try-"
"Yea, yea, we did. I'll tell ya what happened. Ok, so we like, ran in and all, and he did that creepy thing where he jumps out at you out of absolutely nowhere, right? So he made us shit bricks and he got the upper hand at first. Then we all like, well, I tackled him off of Ren over there-"Lies! It was vice versa. So that happened, and then we managed to paralyze him in a bear hug. At that point we tried to get in a verse of YAMS, and it worked for a little bit. We put him back in his bed, but then he snuck up on us and managed to break my nose by slamming me into-"The door, yea. I grabbed him off of him as he began to scratch at his face with the toothbrush, at which point he began to claw at me," A sigh.
"So, I grabbed him and slammed him against the wall and he fell unconscious. Not too hard this time," Reno finished, shoving a forkful of Myde's salad into his mouth, Myde not even noticing or caring.
Aeleus sighed and nodded, scribbling something down and putting the small notepad back into his coat.
Not a second later, a young nurse with short black hair and brown eyes who worked in the infirmary dashed through the doors and towards them.
"Mister Lae and Reno, Aeleus too, sirs," He panted, hands on knees. "He has awakened and wishes to see one of you!" He told them, standing upright.
"I shall go, I have a few things to discuss with the boy anyway," Aeleus said, standing up and brushing the crumbs off his coat.
"Reno, Lae. Would you please take Myde to the file room, to get all the information on Ienzo that he can get? Thank you," And then he left with the young nurse, whose name was George Cortland. In case you were, you know, in any small way interested in knowing.
The brothers nodded, before grabbing each of Myde's arms and dragging him out of the cafeteria.
They led him down a series of halls, until they finally stopped in front of a door that read 'Patient Files' on it.
Reno opened the door with a key that he retrieved from his coat pocket, and gestured for Myde to go on in, him and Lae following close behind.
Once in, Lae turned on a light and walked to an aisle labeled 'V-Z' and walked down that, looking for a box.
While he was doing that, Reno and Myde went to sit at a very small table that was in the room, and had, conveniently, three chairs.
When Lae found what he was looking for, he joined the other two at the table.
He not so carefully dropped the heavy box onto the table, and immediately pulled off the top to look inside.
From what Myde could see, there were seven files, all incredibly full of tons and tons of papers.
Three of them, labeled Malachi, were so full that they took up half of the box, all continuations of things that he had done, no doubt.
Another one, labeled Beau, was pretty large, but obviously not as huge as Malachi's.
The other three files were a considerable amount full, all labeled 'Lucius', 'Gilbert' and 'Ienzo'.
"Hmm, here," Reno said, pulling out one file at a time to grab a single paper that contained all information about the person.
The first one Myde read about was, well, Ienzo. It only made sense too, anyway.
' Patient Name: Ienzo Zalman
Year admitted: 2005
Age: 5
Date of birth: October the 31st, of the year 2000
Gender(s): Male
Weight: 53 lbs.
Illness: MPS Multiple Personality Disorder
Cause of Illness: Abuse and neglect
Number of personalities: 5(This one was written in by someone, most likely by Aeleus)
Behavior: Quiet, incredibly intelligent. Does not struggle. Is incredibly loyal. Loves to cuddle. Incredibly shy.
Hobbies: Reading, playing with legos, stare out the window.
Procedures: If gets out of hand (crying, having a fit), gently hug him and sing 'You are my Sunshine', then put him to bed, and read him a story or lay with him until asleep, or ask him about his day. Is fail-safe.
Helpful facts: Favorite color is turquoise. Favorite animal is a chocobo. Favorite food and drink is tortellini and orange juice. Able to tell the difference between Ienzo and Beau by the nicknames he calls everyone (Axellini[Sometimes 'Llini' or 'Axe-owl'], RenRen, Elly, Clo, Lon, and Mr. Valentine). Favorite movie, book, and shows are the Shawshank Redemption, the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, and Mythbusters. Don't talk about him within the building. '
Myde looked up at them in confusion. "YAMS stands for You are My Sunshine, doesn't it?? And Axellini? Where did he get 'Axel' from 'Lae'? Who are 'Clo', 'Lon', and 'Mr. Valentine'?" He asked, anxious to know.
Both Reno and Lae chuckled. "Yes, it does. Also, we have no clue. 'Clo' and 'Lon' stand for Cloud and Leon. They're the officers that found him and took him away from his home, and they sometimes come to visit him. 'Mr. Valentine' is Vincent Valentine, the mayor of Nibelheim, which is obviously where we are right now. He came to visit once and ended up becoming best friends with the whole of Ienzo, so he comes around every now and then," Lae explained, smirking all the while.
"He's best friends with the mayor?"
"Yup."
"Wow! But it's so sad… He was abused?!" Myde asked, already beginning to cry.
"Hey man, calm down. It's all in the past, he safe now!" Reno reassured him, rubbing his back. "But he's a cool kid; you're gonna like him, don't worry," Lae said, smiling slightly.
He took out another paper and gave it to Myde. This one belonged to 'Beau'.
' Patient name: Beau Williams
Gender: Male
Cause of forming: Subject's wanting to be normal when seen. Did not like the fact that 'Father' would cause more pain if he showed his fear.
Behavior: Quiet, incredibly smart. Loves to cuddle. Loyal. Always seems bored. Bold. In order to help tell the difference between him and Ienzo, he wears a pair of glasses that lack the lens. Likes to escape the room and play hide-and-seek from time to time, much to everyone's dismay.
Hobbies:Doing magic tricks, reading, stare out the window.
Procedures: Same as Ienzo. If doesn't work ask him to do a few magic tricks. Will happily oblige.
Helpful facts: favorite color is royal blue. Favorite animal is an alligator. Favorite food and drink is cooked broccoli with cheese and grape juice. Favorite movie is the Illusionist (He likes to be called Eisenheim), favorite book is Inkheart/Inkspell/Inkdeath. '
"I love magic!" Myde grinned, hugging the paper to him.
Lae and Reno both grinned at him. "Join the club; he's really good at it, too!"
"Yea! Unfortunately, the little ass made my twenty bucks 'disappear', just like 'that'!" Lae said in a bored tone, snapping his fingers when he said 'that'.
Both Myde and Reno laughed at him, and Reno gave Myde the next paper, that read 'Gilbert'.
' Patient name: Gilbert Grape (1)
Gender: Male
Cause of Forming: Having loved the feeling of playing with other kids his age for once, wanted to keep the feeling there forever, knowing he would probably never feel it again.
Behavior: Silly, loveable. Loyal, cuddly, always hyper. Isn't too bright. Always willing to try and cheer you up if you're down. Likes to send letters to his father; just store them away as usual.
Hobbies: Drawing, laughing, bouncing around the room, making tents and playing dress up.
Procedure: Same as Ienzo. If doesn't work, suggest a puppet show, or to have him sing 'Candy Mountain' for you.
Helpful facts: Favorite color is grass green. Favorite food and drink is macaroni and cheese and milk. Favorite movie is Horton Hears a Who, while favorite book is Goodnight Moon (Likes to be read it every night) and favorite show is Yo Gabba Gabba. Favorite animal is a Heffalump. Lifelong dream is to take a ride on the Polar Express. '
"Candy Mountain? As in… Ohhh when you're down and looking for some cheering up, just-" A hand stopped Myde from continuing any further.
"Yes, that Candy Mountain. We hear it enough, and we're not too keen on hearing it again please," Reno smiled, poking Lae in the forehead, since he was plugging his ears and had his eyes shut tight.
"Two more to go, kiddo," Lae said after he opened his eyes. He handed Myde the last two together this time.
' Patient Name: Lucius Caliper
Gender: Male
Cause of Forming: Same as Malachi, partly. Comes from father raping and molesting the child, and yelling, "Why can't you be more like me, eh?!" making the child misunderstand and believe that if he did so, the pain would cease to exist.
Behavior: Incredibly lusty, seducing. Demands a kiss every time gets hurt in the slightest way, whines a lot. Loyal, incredibly cuddly and is always more than willing to.
Hobbies: Spacing out, reading, suck up to people.
Procedure: same as Ienzo. Kiss lightly every so often on the forehead while embracing him.
Helpful facts: favorite color is red. Favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice and Atonement, favorite book is Briget Jones' Diary. Favorite animal is a snake. '
"… And who has to kiss him better?" Myde quietly asked.
"We do," Both brothers said in unison. "It's not too bad though; just a small peck. All we fear is that as he grows older he'll want more than just intimate kisses," Reno said.
"I had to ask Roxas for permission even to do that, yea? But he said he understood and didn't think I'd really be cheating on him with an eight year old mental patient," Lae snorted, directing the comment more to his brother, and pulling out a cigarette.
"Who's Roxas?" Myde asked.
"Oh, he's my fiancé. You'll have to come meet him sometime, or vice versa," He said as he took a drag.
"Your fiancé? Congratulations!" Myde grinned. "What about you, RenRen? Are you engaged or married?" He then asked.
"Nup. But I'm goin out with Rude the security guard-"Obviously. The only time we have to check on Ien is the only time you're not in a closet or naked," An interruption from Lae, "And sometimes if I feel like it I'll do Lae. I'll lay Lae!" He snorted after he continued.
Myde, unfazed by the twincest comment, was more worried for Roxas. "But what about Roxas? Isn't he mad about you-"Nup. He's totally cool with it!" Lae told him, smirking.
He pushed the last paper towards Myde.
"Here, just read this one then we can go and see the kid; he should be awake by now, and he should be someone else. Every time he takes a nap or sleeps in any form, when he wakes up he's a different personality,"
' Patient Name: Malachi Todd
Gender: Male
Cause of forming: Same as Lucius, partly. Comes from father's abuse and neglect, and yelling, "Why can't you be more like me, eh?!" making the child misunderstand and believe that if he did so, inflicting pain on himself, the pain from his father would cease to exist.
Behavior: incredibly violent. Short tempered, extremely emotional.
Hobbies: attacking anybody who enters the room, self mutilation, screaming, yelling, biting, and clawing, refusing to eat, writing on the walls.
Procedure: Make sure you have the upper hand of the battle, make sure to keep him off of you as much as possible and try to either get him in your grasp and sing 'YAMS' or knock him unconscious.
Helpful facts: Favorite color is blood red, no surprise there. Favorite movie is Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street and Texas chain saw massacre. Favorite animal is kittens. '
"Kittens?? What a sensitive boy!" Cooed Myde.
The brothers snorted. "Sensitive my ass," Reno said.
"Oh, and what's the thing about 'don't talk about him in the building' mean?"
"Oh that? Just don't. Whoever's room is nearest will hear it, and then they'll pass it along through some kind of system until it reaches him. At least that's what we think. Anything we say reaches him somehow, and it's kind of creepy," Lae explained, chucking his cigarette somewhere.
"Soooo, ready to go n' see little Ien? Bet you ten bucks he'll be able to quote what I'm saying right now and who you are, or at least know what we're betting on or something!" Reno said, standing up and stretching.
"Um… Ok, sure!" Myde grinned. Both Reno and Lae looked at him evilly then dragged him out of the room and down another series of halls.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Whelp, here we are!" Lae said, as they now stood before a door that had the numbers '4136' painted onto the window. They walked into the room, and when past a wall the blocked most of the view of the room, Lae gestured to a small boy that was watching television silently, his head tilted so far to the right that it was resting on his shoulder. (You know like in Forrest Gump how his kid, who is the voice of Sora, is sitting and watching Bert and Ernie? Imagine that TV setup) In front of him was a huge crate of Legos, and a small building that he had started on before he had begun to watch his show.
"Yea, he does that," Reno whispered, answering Myde's unasked question.
"Heeeeey, Ien, what's up, buddy?" Reno asked as he walked over to Ienzo, and sat down next to him, criss cross applesauce. "Who won the ten dollars?" Asked the small boy, his voice naught but a whisper.
"Ha! Cough it up," Lae laughed, holding out his hand for the money. "Hey! The money doesn't go to you!" Myde laughed.
Myde examined the room. It was covered in drawings and scribblings and words written all over the walls. There were a few blood stains on the ground, and Ienzo had several Band-Aids on his body. On one of the bedside tables (That wasn't near the bed at all; the bed was in the middle of the room) was a pair of lens-less glasses, and on the other there was a huge replica of the asylum made in legos. There was also a few big bookcases around the room, a few stray books here and there, and a drawing/activity table near the television.
"So, hey, Ien! This is Myde Highmore, and he's gonna be your new… Friend." Lae said, now sitting on the other side of the child. Said boy didn't look up at him like anyone else would when meeting a new person. "What about you two?" He quietly asked. "Hey, hey! Don't think that you can get rid of us that easily! We're still going to be here, don't worry! But right now we've got other patients to attend to, so we'll leave you to hang with and get to know Myde a bit, M'kay? See ya later, kiddo!" Reno happily said. Both him and Lae quickly hugged him and stood up. As they walked by Myde they winked and gave him a two fingered salute.
Myde was far from excited though. In fact he was nervous as hell.
"Are you going to try and make my acquaintance or not, Mr. Highmore? I dare say I really don't care either way, for I would prefer to be with RenRen and 'Llini right now…" Myde paled but, shakily nodded. This kid was pretty damn smart for an eight year old, and pretty damn creepy, too. B-but, Reno and Lae said that they'd get along great, right?
Right?
--
(1)- :3 Gilbert Grape, lawl. Johnny Depp is sex on legs!