(Edward's POV)
I pulled back from her soft form immediately. I couldn't risk tempting myself anymore, one bite would have to do. I pressed my hand into her hair for a moment, watching her face, waiting for the pain to show itself in her features. It wasn't long before her breathing quickened. I grasped her hand gently, preparing myself for her suffering. There was nothing I could do for her now, and that made me feel worse than helpless. Her eye began to move under their lids. Quick, unsettling movements. Her lips parted slightly, and her breathe came and went rapidly, almost in gasps.
Then it started. The screams, the crying, the suffering. She was writhing in pain, her body contorting into unnatural, unfamiliar poses. God, how could I have done this to her? Could she forgive me for this? I lifted her frail body into arms and settled back onto the couch. She cringed at my touch, crying out again. I hugged her tightly to my body, hoping that for once, my cool temperature would help her. And this was only the beginning. I could have cried. I rocked her shaking body lightly back and forth, whispering in her ear, trying to reassure her. She mumbled incoherently back at me, in between moans and cries of pain. I shuddered, pressing her closer.
As I attempted to soothe her, questions began to fill the void in my mind. What would happen to Charlie? What could we tell him? Bella would never settle to just up and disappearing on him. She would want to give him an explanation. And Jacob. His name sent my mind into a frenzy of anger. This was all his fault. She would never have been hurt if it wasn't for that mongrel. I would gladly rip his throat from him even without a reason. But would I need a reason? Bella's change would surely provoke him. And if he attacked first…it would be self-defense. And what about Bella? Would she hate me for changing her? For taking her from Jacob? For killing him? But she had told me before the incident that she still loved me. More than that dog. All of this pretense to save his feelings.
The rest of the day, and following night passed without complication. Her body continued to quake in my arms. Why was she so calm? She should have been thrashing about, screaming relentlessly, begging me for death. She was moving with pain, that much was obvious. But they were restrained movements, almost controlled. Her cries were soft, she didn't speak at all. She didn't beg me to end her suffering. Was she hiding her true pain from me? Was that even possible? I wondered. Carlisle had said that most transformations were the same. Had I done something wrong? Panic flooded through me as I looked over her frail form. Surely, the damage wasn't so bad that the venom wouldn't be able to heal her. I had delivered the venom straight to a major artery, and her heartbeat had been strong when I had bitten her, despite the extensive internal damage. No, I couldn't let myself think like this. She would be fine. She had to be.
I watched her chest rise and fall evenly, her heart was indeed still pumping blood…and venom, through her veins. I sighed in relief. Worrying would do neither of us any good right now. My Bella needed me. I was subjecting her to the most excruciating pain she would ever experience, the very least I could do was be confident for her. Be strong for her. I stroked her face softly with my thumb. She had broken out in a sweat. Physical manifestation of the mental torture her body was suffering. I cradled her closer to me, laying a hand over her forehead. I was relieved when the sun finally broke on the horizon, announcing the arrival of dawn. One day down…only two left.
I heard the slam of car doors at the front of the house, and sighed in relief. They were finally home. Carlisle's voice caught my attention first. How is she, Edward? I'll be up in a moment. Then Alice. She's going to be fine now, Edward, I've seen it….don't worry so much. I scowled. I knew she would be okay, but right now she was in unbelievable pain, and I couldn't bear to watch it. Couldn't bear to leave her. Esme piped up. You did the right thing, dear. Don't beat yourself up over this. She won't be angry with you . Ever the caring mother…I loved Esme, her support was what I needed most now. Carlisle knocked lightly on my door, not waiting for an answer to enter. As he did, I lifted Bella up and laid her back down on the couch, so he could examine her. He bent over her trembling body, taking up her wrist between two fingers, checking her pulse.
"Her heart is steady now. I think you did everything just right, Edward. Her body is almost done repairing itself. The worst of the pain should be over soon." He checked his watch then his eyes met mine. He smiled softly. "I know that this must be hard for you. But you couldn't have done it any better, the pain will be over for her soon. Just be strong….for Bella. I'll be back to check on her tomorrow morning…call me if you need me." I nodded looking up at him for a moment, then my eyes fell back down to my beautiful Bella. In all of her agony, she was still gorgeous. Carlisle left soundlessly. I lifted her back up to cradle her in my arms again. She no longer cringed when I touched her. She still cried out, but it was less often now, and quieter. I kissed her cheek softly. Regret swept through me…her cheek was noticeably cooler now.
Moments passed. Another knock. Alice. She came in quietly, stopping just short of the couch.
She'll be okay Edward…"
"I know, Alice…it's just…hard to watch this…knowing I did this to her." She set her hand on my shoulder. She won't be mad at you for this. I see you two hunting together, not too long from now. She'll understand why you had to do it.
"That mongrel…" I mumbled to myself, but Alice picked up on it.
"What do you mean?" She had taken a seat at the far end of the couch now.
"I know why you couldn't see my conversation with Bella very well." She leaned forward now, interested. "Our little Bella here, got herself in with a pack of werewolves…." I scowled a bit. Alice sat back up, shock colored her expression. Oh! Well that would certainly explain some things….
"Yes. She was dating one, a Jacob Black…" I cringed, the painful memory of her rejection flooding back into my mind. Then my face went blank again. "He was the one that did this to her…hurt her, I mean, enough to where I had to change her to save her life…" I felt her stir the tiniest bit in my arms.
No…He attacked her? Poor Bella…It's a good thing you were there Edward…she would have been killed. I gulped at the thought.
"I know…I only wish there had been something else I could have done. This is so unfair to her. She didn't get to make the choice herself. What if she didn't want this anymore, Alice? What if she hates me for doing this to her?" Again, I felt the burn of tears I could not shed cloud my vision.
"God, Edward…stop beating yourself up! She will not hate you…she loves you." She walked over to me and Bella, placing her hand on my shoulder again. I promise you. She loves you. She will not hold your decision against you.
"I'll leave you two alone now…it won't be long Edward…she'll be awake tomorrow morning." With that, she turned and left, again, without a sound.
With the rest of the day to think, I started to think up some plans. Surely after her change, we could not stay in Forks. Her newborn bloodlust would be unmanageable in such close proximity to a human population. Where would we go? No one even knew we were back yet, besides that dog. We could be gone in another few days without ever being noticed. We could take Bella somewhere remote. Alaska perhaps. That place had always been haven for me when my desire for blood became too overwhelming. Maybe it could be for a sanctuary for her too. We could stay with Tanya's family until our old cabin could be restored. Surely that would work.
With that, my thoughts turned reluctantly back to Charlie. He would be arriving home tomorrow to an empty house. No calls, no notes, nothing. He would panic. And he was chief of police. He would have every cop in the country on the lookout for Bella. My family wouldn't be safe from accusation within a thousand miles of forks. If he found out we had returned, surely he would suspect us of something. Of what I wasn't sure. Would he think me capable of kidnapping? Or worse, murder? Of course, I was capable of much worse than murder, but he didn't have any knowledge of that. I was sure Carlisle would think of something. He would have a plan for us.
Another wave of guilt washed over me when I realized the suffering and agony that Charlie and Renee would have to endure when they found out she was missing. She was their only child and I had stolen her from them. Would they automatically assume her to be dead? Would they think she had just run away? Or was kidnapped? Would they have a funeral? I shuddered at the thought. Surely, her absence would be noticed immediately in a town as small as this.
I was drawn from my contemplations by her soft whimpering. More tears rolled down from her eyes, over the apples of her cheeks. I wiped them away. An angel should never cry. Bella was my angel in my own personal hell. A beacon of light amid a sea of darkness. My savior. And when she awoke, I would worship her with all the devotion due to a goddess such as herself. She would hate it. That thought made me smile. She was the one who always thought me to be a God. She felt undeserving of my affections. I would prove to her that I was the unworthy one. I was most definitely, what did Emmett call it….? Oh, right…whipped. Bella would just have to get used to being waited on.
The night passed with surprising speed once again. Bella's condition continued to improve. Her breathing steadied, her heart began to slow, the soft color began to leave her face. How I would miss that visible sign of her feelings for me. I pressed my cheek to hers. They were beginning to feel more alike now. I didn't know if that should make me feel better or worse. She shifted again in my arms, wincing just a bit, more tears falling from her closed eyes. A soft cry. I tucked her hair behind her ear, whispering to her again…
"shhh….Bella, love…you'll be okay. There's not much left now…The pain will be over soon. I'm here. I'm with you, Bella." I started to rock her gently in my arms. She mumbled again…what did she say? My name maybe? I couldn't be sure.
Nothing more transpired between us the rest of the night. I was thankful as the sun began to rise. It's soft warmth and light flooded into my bedroom, bathing Bella in a light, that if possible, made her even more irresistible. Another knock came on my door and Carlisle entered.
"Carlisle…she should be close now, shouldn't she? Alice had said…" I was anxious. This torture had been going on for two days now. He came to her side again and looked back at me in surprise.
"Yes, she's calmed down quite a bit, and her heart is slowing…it will stop soon…she almost seems to be rushing through the process…she's a whole day ahead. What a miraculous girl…I'm astounded." He moved around to her other side. He lifted up her eyelid for a moment, the irises were still rolled back, leaving only white visible. He checked her pulse again. I didn't need to use those methods, to be able to tell that her heart had slowed even more. Carlisle nodded approvingly, placing her hand back down at her side.
"It will be any time now….would you like to be alone with her when she wakes up? Surely, she'll need some explanations. I can keep the rest of the family away until she's ready." I smiled up at him.
"Yes, thank you, Carlisle…I think that would be best. Alice won't like it, but she'll understand." He nodded once and was gone again.
I lifted her up with me, and laid her back down, kneeling next to the couch, still clutching her hand. I kissed her softly. Her cheek, her forehead, and finally, her lips. Those irresistibly full lips. Then she gasped. Her heart made a final thud, it's last protest for life, then it was silent. Was this it? Would she awaken now? Was I ready? I had to be. Her eyes fluttered open. I was shocked by the crimson color of her irises. It was a blaring contrast to the soft, chocolate brown they had been before. I smiled at her tentatively.
She looked at me for a moment, not quite out of her daze. She sat upright, faster than I was used to. Of course, she had my reflexes now. Another thing to get used to. I watched as she scanned the room. Her eyes fell back on mine and she lifted her hand, now even paler than before up to my face. God, I didn't think it was possible, but she was somehow even more beautiful than she had been before. How could I deserve this angel…in any lifetime?
"Bella? Are you alright? Please say something, love…do you know who I am?" I held my breath, waiting.
"Edward…yes…of course I know who you are! I love you!" She sounded breathless. I was ecstatic. She knew me. I had been so afraid that her memories of me would fade along with her other human memories. But apparently what we had was indeed special. It had followed her into eternity. And my name…it sounded so beautiful on her lips. I wanted to hear it again, and my wish was granted.
Edward…you look awful…." I smiled brightly at her and laughed. Oh, my Bella…how I had missed her. I pulled her into my arms without a second thought. This was wonderful.