1) Ashlynn

Here it is only days after my father's funeral and I am rushing across the Miami airport in hopes to not miss my flight to the little town of La Push, Washington. I some how manage to make it through the gate and into my seat at the same time as the pilot comes on and announces for everyone to buckle their seat belts. That is when it finally all sinks in, when I have nothing but time, six hours to be exact and only my thoughts to keep me company. Just as I was about to drift off and let some much needed sleep consume me I was tapped on the shoulder.

"Excuse me miss, but is there anything I can get for you before we take off?" The flight attendent asks in all too chipper for this time in the morning voice.

"Um a blanket and a bottle of water would be great please." I mumble without a second glance, too tired to think about anything except for what waits for me on the other side of the country. I wait until she comes back with my things and then as I feel the plane start to come off of the runway I figure it is time to give my mind over to all the thoughts burning in side my head.

I remember it like it was yesterday, my seventeenth birthday (Feb 20th), only happy is definitely not the word I would use to describe it. The word I believe that would fit much better is horrific, my father and I are over at his friend Joe's house for our annual middle of winter BBQ, when my dad was complaining about a migraine. I told him to take his pills he got from the doctor and go lie down but as he was walking into the house his body just collapsed onto the porch. I ran over to him frantically screaming has name and yelling at someone to call 911 when I realized that Joe was already on the phone. The ambulance arrived only 10 minutes later and we were in the hospital awaiting the return of the Doctor within the hour. My mind was all over the place, I couldn't sit still, I knew that my father had been getting bad migraines for awhile but I never knew any of them were this serious. It was well into the early evening before Doctor Lewis came out to talk to us, it only took one look at his face to know that it wasn't good news.

"I am sorry Ashlynn but your father's headaches are far worse than we expected. I told him however that I would let him explain to you exactly what that means. He is resting now but you can go in when ever you like and wait for him to wake up." He said this with such a sullen look and then walked away, obviously the heartbreak on my face was too much for him to bear.

I turned to look at Joe and Molly and told them, " You guys go on home, the kids need you, I'll call you when I know what exactly is going on." They just nodded their heads, knowing that I needed to be alone with my father. As I turned the corner and walked into his room, my face fell. There was my father lying in the bed with tubes coming out of every part of his body, hooked up to more machines then I cared to count. I just sat in the cracked pleather chair next to his bed and cried for hours hoping not to wake him up. This was it and I knew it, I didn't need the doctor to tell me or my father to wake up and explain it to me, he was dying and there was nothing I could do but cry. After what seemed like hours I finally looked up to see my father smiling at me and for some reason I couldn't help but smile back.

"Now, now Ash don't cry. I thought I asked the doctor to let me tell you the news?" There it was, that reassuring tone he only used when things were bad, real bad.

"Don't be ridiculous Dad, he didn't tell me what was the matter with you but I don't need to be a rocket scientist to know its not good."

He let out a weary laugh, sighed and then he hit me with it and I use the world hit because that is exactly what it felt like, like I was hit by a bus. " Ash honey we have always been honest with each other so I am just going to give it to you straight, I am dying. The migraines I have been having are related to a brain tumor in my head, they weren't able to catch it before because it was buried so deep. I am afraid that now it is too late, it has already spread too far and there is no amount of treatment to stop it."

I just stare at him with tears in my eyes, "Dad you can't give up, there has to be something we can do, at least go get a second opinion."

"Baby, they already brought in 3 of the best neurosurgeons in the state and they all say the same thing, I am sorry but this is it. Please know that I love you and I am not giving up I am going to be fighting on the inside. I just don't want them to give me medicine and treatments that will make me too weak to spend what little time I have left with you."

"How long?" I some how managed to croak out inbetween sobs.

"6 months at most. Now enough of this talk, go in the closet and get a blanket so you can get some sleep, then tomorrow we can talk about what we will do."

I just look at him and nod then I walk over the the closet get the blanket, kiss him on the forehead, and fall onto the chair into a horrible, restless sleep.

The next four months followed pretty much the same as that first night. Doctor Lewis wanted to keep my father in the hospital for the rest of his time, so that was where I spent every day and night. During the days we would just talk about old times, play cards or just watch movies on the DVD player I bought him. At night I would cry myself into another restless sleep. The patterned stayed the same well into the middle of the fourth month, neither me or my dad were really ones for change, we liked having routines. Then one day I left during his mid day nap to go home and take a shower and get more movies for us to watch. I wasn't gone for more than 2 hours but when I returned he was sitting up waiting for me with a look of fear I have never seen in his eyes. Before I could say anything he took my hand and put a envelope into it.

"Ashlynn, I know I haven't always done or said the right things but I have always tried my best. I love you more than I could ever explain and I hope you know that. In this letter are some things that I promised myself I would tell you once you were old enough to understand, I am however afraid that you will hate me once you hear them so I can not bring myself to tell you now. So take this letter and promise me that you will not open it until after...", tears started falling down his face before he could finish his sentence.

"Dad I promise but don't you know I could never hate you. You are the only parent I have, the only family I ever knew, I love you so much. No matter what you say you are the world's best father and nothing could change that."

He just smiled, looking torn on rather or not he should respond and finally said," So did you bring me any good movies." I just laughed at him, put a movie into the DVD player and curled up on the bed with him. A month and a half later he passed away, 6 months to the day, August 20th 2010, just like the doctor predicted. I kept my promise to him too, it wasn't until the night of his funeral that I opened the letter for the first time.

By the time I woke up from my daydream I realized that we were already pulled into the terminal at San Francisco where my layover was and I was the last one on the plane. I unbuckled my seat belt, walked off the plane and into the crowded airport on my way to Gate B6 to wait 2 hours for my next and final flight.