A/N: Me: (looks timid) I'm Sorry? Life got in the way and then writers block, and then High School just flew by, next thing I know it hasn't been like seven months since I updated, again I am really sorry and hope you guys can forgive me. (Looks hopeful)

Chapter 5

Ashley's POV

I greedily drank the poor animal's blood; its black eyes stared at me accusingly. I vaguely remember a time when I would refuse to eat meat, insisting that it was cruel. But that time was long gone, a life I can never go back to yet is always tortured by its hazy memory. I shook my head, trying to free myself from my morbid thoughts, it was best not to think while hunting. It had been well over six months since I joined the Cullen clan, at first I was reluctant to stay with the man who was responsible for this cursed afterlife I was left to suffer, but I was curious about the life they lived. Drinking only animal blood, living so close to humans without taking a bite at their necks for the crimson wine that would pour from the wound, and even having a relationship with one! I wiped the bear's blood from my chin as I stood gracefully. My yellow eyes swiftly swept the dark forest, a couple of miles away I could hear Jasper and Alice munching on a mountain lion.

Venom filled my mouth as I thought of the blood. I was still new to this life style and seemed to be always thirsty. No matter how many animals I slaughtered the thirst was always there, I would never even begin to fathom how Carlisle can stand going to work every day in the surgery room. I stalked through the woods in hope that I would find another grizzly, their blood seemed to satisfy me more. When it came apparent that almost all the animals fled from the area, save a squirrel or two but I could never bear to hurt one of them, I moved towards Jaspers general direction.

I the forest floor glided beneath me as I ran full speed towards Jasper, I thought about how over the months I had a grudging respect towards him. He was my maker and destroyer, I hated but admired him. He was by far not my favorite out of the Cullens, that position was reserved for Emmet, but he was a father figure I guess you could say. He had finally taken responsibility for what he did and guided me through all the rules of the secret vampire world. I was restricted to the house and could go no farther than a mile up the driveway.

At first I detested the boundaries that they gave me, I was young and use to being free. At first I tried to get around these resurrections, but Alice foresaw my every step, Edward analyzed my every thought, and Jasper dissected every emotion that poured out of me. Now I could cloud my thoughts, and think of five different ways to leave the house and not going through with one until the last possible moment, but I could not deny my feelings. Every time sense of smugness crept up on me Jasper started to tail me. With every step I took he shadowed me, until I earned their trust. Now about seven months later they finally trust me to hunt without them five feet way and even allowed me to go to town sometimes with them to run errands. I cherished the moments when I could go to town, I could see all the children from a safe distance, see the happy family and the clusters of friends waiting outside for a ticket to a movie. I envied their ignorance and their mortality. If only I hadn't gotten into that argument with Sammy…….

"Ready to go?" Alice chirped, as she looked up from her prey.

I nodded wordlessly, I looked over at Jasper, and he probably felt the bitterness that covered me like a cloak, the sadness and regret that seemed almost tangible.

"I think we should run to town tomorrow, you wanna come Ashley?" Alice asked.

"Sure, you think I could get a book while I'm there?''

"Why not?" Alice shrugged

I knew she thought it was a waste that I loved books more than shopping, but nonetheless I smiled at her. I knew she tried to make me happy, she tried to become my best friend, but one thing that seemed to stick with me from my human years was my automatic dislike of people. Jasper watched our exchange with wary eyes.

"Come, it's getting late. Emmet will want to play that infernal game with you," he smiled at me.

I smiled back a little, 'He's trying' I thought to myself, 'I've always recognized an honest effort.'

Without another word we shrank back into darkness, the only sign that we had been there was the animal's dead carcass.

A/N I really did not like this chapter, but I haven't updated in a while so what the hell. Oh by the way if you haven't figured it out yet I don't own the Twilight series