Disclaimer: still the same ... nothing has changed.

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CHAPTER TWO

Confessions of a Drunk

"… was any of it real"

"No."

DiNozzo, on his way to Eddie's, thought about the word … no. In his youth … not so long ago … he hated the word … no. When Jeanne had asked him if any of it was real, he simply replied … "No." He wanted a drink or five, maybe eight, nine … eleven. Jenny … Director Shepard, was gone … he wished he had said … no, to her. He loved Jeanne Benoit and it was all Jenny's fault. Did he like the Director … no. Did he respect the Director … no. Was she his boss and did he have to follow orders … yes. Damn her to hell. Gibbs would kill him if he could hear his thoughts … did he care … no … not really.

Ducky was lamenting his own lost love … not on his way to Eddie's, after all, he was driving his Morgan … his only true love. Dr. Mallard had been sifting through some old photographs when he came across a picture of Annabella … a direct descendant from The House of Stuart … King James the VI, born at Edinburgh Castle, 19 June, 1566. It was during World War II, Scotland, he was ten and Annabella was … I'll save it for the bar.

Ziva had nothing to lament … no loss love but she was reflecting this night … she too thought about Kate. She wished she had known the woman that her brother had so prematurely taken from this earth. Maybe she could have prevented it … stopped it … changed his mind … his heart … his hate. Maybe not … that type of hate runs deep within a man's soul.

On to McGee … just happy to be off the probie list.

Abby was getting dressed and thinking about Gibbs … something was off … really off. It worried her. The last thing on her mind was lost loves, hate, or the King of Winsor … ah Stuart … Scotland … whatever.

A spontaneous combustion of the NCIS crew converged at the exact same time … much like it was a crime scene, on Eddie's Bar and Bar … no grill … you're there to drink and if you can stand, shoot a game or two of pool. They chose a booth in the back … by the pool table and fortunately it was a quiet night … until they got there. DiNozzo was in a noticeably irritated mood. Undoubtedly because of his reflections on Jeanne and Jenny. Gibbs was once again agitated … thinking about Ari. Ziva, guilty, for having such a brother. Ducky … missing his youth. Abby, now picking up on everyone's mood … big time nervous and McGee … blissfully oblivious … for now.

Gibbs ordered a round of drinks. You could almost tell by what they all ordered the type of mood each member of the team was in. Bourbon for Gibbs, of course. DiNozzo … Jack …NO coke. Ziva … Tequila. Ducky, Sherry. Abby, Hawaiian Punch with Seven up. Then there was McGee … a Lemon Drop Martini … even the waitress did a double take and said, "Pardon me?" when he placed his order. Abby knew for sure that Tony was in a bad way when he didn't make a comment. Now she didn't know who to be more worried about. She changed her order …

"Excuse me waitress … I'll have what he's having … straight up." She pointed at Gibbs.

"Abbs … do you remember what happened the last time you drank Bourbon … you ruined my boat."

"Well Gibbs, your boat's not here … is it?"

He put his hands up in defeat.

"So Jethro … why call this meeting of the drink?"

"I thought we could all use it after this last case Ducky … it's always hard losing a young Sailor but his entire family … it was a bad one Duck."

"I heard that it was love at first bite."

"First sight Ziva."

"It wasn't over dinner?"

"NO! Ziva … it was when they first laid eyes on each other."

DiNozzo was irritated … not at Ziva but the lack of an alcoholic beverage in front of him.

"Where the hell's that drink!"

"Tony … chill."

"Sorry Abbs … I'm thirsty."

Gibbs was close enough to smack him upside the head but thought better of it. Tony hung his head … his eyes were clouded, his demeanor was out of character … he wasn't the life of the party.

Their drinks arrive and Tony was ready for another before the last drink … the Lemon Drop Martini … was placed down on the table. He held up his glass and the waitress got the hint.

"Just bring the bottle Honey." She didn't appreciate the honey remark … if she only knew the real charmer that he usually was. It could have been, 'sweet cheeks' or 'luscious lips' or the ever popular … "hey babe bring me the bottle and your number." The fact that he wasn't the same old Tony didn't go unnoticed by his friends and colleagues.

McGee takes a sip of his Martini and slides it towards Tony.

"I know you think it's a girly drink but it packs a wallop."

"No thanks Probie … I'll wait for my Jack … it really packs a wallop!"

"Hey DiNozzo … cut the Probie crap."

"Come on Boss … Mike still calls you Probie."

Gibbs once again raises his hands in defeat.

The bottle arrives with a thump in front of Tony.

"Thanks sweet cheeks." … Told ya.

Gibbs smacked him that time.

"Tony … her name is Annabella."

"What did you say, Abigail?"

"She has a name tag Ducky … Annabella."

He whispers … "It was 1943 she was eight, I was ten …"

They all put their drinks down and listen … truly listen. He went on … surprised by the attentiveness to his musings but happy just the same as he was usually cut off.

"She was a direct descendant to The House of Stuart … Royals of Scotland you know. She had beautiful blonde hair that she always wore in a bun. She was my first kiss … on the cheek of course."

In unison … "Of course."

"I had a first love … her name was Dr. Jeanne Benoit."

They all turned and looked at Tony … the bottle of Jack Daniels was just about at it's end … as was Tony.

"I did more than kiss her. If it wasn't for Madam Director … God rest her soul … I never would have met her." He downed the last drop with emphasis.

Gibbs knew that he was pissed … there had been many times when he and Jenny hadn't seen eye to eye on a case but she was dead … gone … it was time to let go of the past. The problem for DiNozzo was … Jeanne could have been his future … could have been the mother to his children. He didn't want Jeanne to be a part of his past … Jenny caused that … the Jack just made that realization worse.

He lifted his empty glass. "To Madam Director."

They all raised their glasses … Gibbs hesitantly.

"May you rest in peace knowing you ruined my fucking life!"

Mouths dropped open and Gibbs sighed deeply … his friend was hurting … he couldn't and wouldn't begrudge him that.

Ziva dropped her head to the table. Abby rested her head on Tim's shoulder. Ducky shook his head and drank his Sherry …

Tony staggered out of the bar … Gibbs followed.

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