Josephine was drawn awake as the harsh artificial light of Mal's bunk raised, indicating morning. She blinked a few times, trying to chase away the last vestiges of sleep before reluctantly turning on her side in search of Mal.
But he was no longer in the room. She peered over the edge of the small bed to see that his clothes had been picked up from the floor and hastened to get up. Jo winced as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and paused, mentally willing the tightness in her muscles to go away. She looked down at her pelvis, the dress still wrapped around her waist like a belt, and wasn't surprised to see the light tracing of bruises on her skin. She blushed slightly as she remembered the night before and how rough she had allowed it to get; how rough she had wanted it to get. The sex had been... well it had been wonderful, she admitted to herself despite feeling somewhat ashamed. Rawley had taken her that roughly many times and she suddenly wondered if she had ever enjoyed her time spent with him. A part of her mind refused to believe it while another part told her to stop lying to herself.
She jumped to her feet, ignoring the ache in her muscles, and repositioned the dress before searching for her discarded undergarments. She found them in a corner of the room, too badly torn to be worn again, and tossed them into Mal's waste basket.
Josephine stared at herself in Mal's small mirror for a moment, her mind straying to Bryce Rawley again. There was a term... something she had learned in school, in her course on the psychology of Earth-that-was. Stockholm syndrome... that was it.
Do I have that, she thought. In some sick, twisted way... perhaps only in the bedroom?
She furrowed her brow in thought as she leaned closer to the mirror. She had been encouraging Mal in that direction she admitted to herself reluctantly.
Sighing, she pulled herself away from her reflection and walked the short distance to the ladder, filing those thoughts away for later. She climbed the ladder and stood in the dimly lit hallway, silently debating between getting cleaned up or going in search of Mal. After a short moment, she opted for the latter of the two and headed towards the kitchen.
Josephine entered the large room, half expecting to see Mal sitting at the wood table, drinking his morning coffee, but it was empty. It appeared as though no one had been in for breakfast yet and Jo continued on to the bridge.
She found him sitting in the pilot's seat, arms resting loosely on the sides of the chair, eyes staring out into the never ending blackness. Jo approached him cautiously, unaware of his current temperament and not wishing to disturb him.
Mal didn't turn his head as she stepped up beside him and Josephine placed a hand on his shoulder lightly.
"Mal?"
"Hmmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Thinkin'..."
She thought she knew what he must be thinking about and didn't bother to ask as her hand fell from his shoulder. She walked forward towards the thick glass that was protecting them from space and stared in wonder. Josephine knew she would never get tired of this. Staring into the dense blackness always managed to amaze her and yet at the same time made her feel very small and unimportant. After all, in a world this big her problems seemed nothing if not trifling.
"You're not going to ask me what I'm thinkin' about?"
Mal's voice startled her somewhat and she turned around to face him, still seated but now looking at her.
"I can guess."
Mal nodded. "I doubt it... what's the story with this kid I picked up?"
Josephine blinked in surprise. Wen had been the farthest thing from her mind and she thought he must be from Mal's as well. She stared at him for a moment, trying to remember after all that had happened, before answering.
"He was a passenger on the Finder... that's the ship Inara put Mira and I on..."
Mal nodded quickly, indicating that he already knew that and for her to continue.
"Well, he said he was going to meet his mother some where... I can't remember exactly. But then we were boarded by slavers..."
"Yeah, we met," Mal grimaced.
"... and it turned out they were looking for Wen. He was the bosses son."
"So..." Mal paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "The kid was trying to get away from it, he was a runaway?"
Josephine nodded and started walking back to him. "Exactly. For all I know, he really was trying to find his mother." She stopped in front of him and looked down.
"Lets see if I'm understanding then..." Mal began. "So all of this trouble... was because of this kid?"
"You could say that I guess..." Josephine trailed off as Mal continued to stare at her. In a way, all the trouble was because of Wen. But if she'd never gotten on the Finder, they wouldn't be a part of it. She flinched under his gaze and dropped her eyes to the ground.
"Why didn't you let us come and get you... let me come and get you?"
She answered him softly, eyes still staring at her feet. "I'm not sure. At the time I had reasons... I thought they were good reasons but... I don't know."
Mal leaned forward and took her smaller hands in his own large ones, forcing her to look at him. "Forget I asked. It's not important... you're where you belong now."
The corners of her mouth turned up into a small smile as she stared down at him. "I like that..."
Mal tugged on her hands, slightly pulling her closer. "What do you like?"
"The idea that you're where I belong."
He leaned forward and met her lips halfway in a lingering kiss. Mal pulled away first and sat back tugging on her hands again until she crawled into his lap and rested her head against his chest. His arms went around her automatically and she let her feet dangle over the side of the chair.
After a short moment she spoke. "Have you spoken to Simon?"
"No, I don't think he's up yet... Do you want me to go wake him?"
"Not yet... I'd like to get cleaned up first... and then we can both find him, finally get this sorted out." She paused and pulled her head back so she could see his face. "Lets not tell anyone else, alright?"
Mal placed his hand on her stomach and smiled slightly. "They'll figure it out eventually... see, this gets bigger."
Josephine obliged him with a small laugh and swatted his shoulder. "I know that... I just mean, not yet. Not until we know... everything."
He stared at her for a moment before nodding in agreement. Josephine sighed and rested her head against his chest again, doing her best to savor the here and now, not knowing how many more moments like this there would be, after Simon's tests.
She left Mal on the bridge after a short while and went back to her room to bathe and change her clothes. After peeking in on Mira, who appeared to still be sleeping, she went in search of Serenity's captain once again. Jo tried his bunk first, then the kitchen and bridge, but he wasn't there. Assuming he was waiting for her in the infirmary, she hastened back to the corridor, only to collide with Zoe as she entered the kitchen.
"Umph... sorry Zoe," Jo apologized as she tried to keep her balance.
"Josephine," Zoe acknowledged her with a curt nod and stepped around the smaller woman, shooting her a somewhat reproachful glance in the process.
Jo gaped at Zoe's greeting in surprise. The first mate was often terse, but never flat out rude and Josephine couldn't think of a single thing she had done to agitate her. Bewildered, she turned back around, only to come face to face with a red-faced Wen.
He was breathing heavily, as though he had been struggling to keep up with someone, and nodded at her, much the same way Zoe had done. Josephine's gaze followed him as he entered the kitchen and cautiously approached Zoe. She watched, open mouthed, for a few moments as Wen proceeded to follow the older woman around. When Zoe rose to go the counter, Wen followed, always staying a few feet back and never speaking. When she sat, so did he. Josephine almost smiled at the look of adoration on Wen's face and shook her head absently.
Jo continued to watch as Zoe's features darkened and she seemed ready to tell the young man off but never did. She cleared her throat quietly, making them both look up from their plates.
"Zoe, have you seen Mal?"
"Cargo bay," she answered briefly.
Jo nodded and left the kitchen, the smile she'd been holding in finally reaching her face. It seemed Wen
had decided to look towards Zoe as his savior and she just hoped his puppy love didn't get too far out of hand.
Once she was a little ways into the corridor, Josephine raised her eyes upwards in a mock prayer for Zoe, and nearly jumped out of her skin at what she saw.
River smiled back at her. The young woman had wedged herself into the small space, legs practically spread eagled and bare feet pressed against the sides of the wall.
"Wode ma, River! What are you doing?"
"Shhh...," River whispered. "Spying... can't see me."
"Spying on who?"
River's smile grew wider as she answered. "The boy... he's new... interesting."
Josephine sighed. "Why not just go talk to him?"
The younger woman shook her head and Jo thought she heard her tsk-tsking. "Haven't gathered enough information. You must know your prey before the hunt begins."
"Prey? Hunt? River, what are you talking about?" Josephine held up her hands to stop River from answering. "Never mind... as long as you're not going to actually hurt him I don't want to know."
The smile fell from River's face and was replaced with a look of pure condescension. "There are many different types of hunts."
"You know, I'm sure there are and it's been lots of fun chatting with you, but I have to go now." Josephine continued down the corridor but came to a halt at River's next words.
"Yes, to see Simon... to get answers. But he doesn't have them, at least not here."
Jo turned back around and tilted her head up to see River. "What do you mean?"
The young woman just smiled at her and Jo repeated her question.
"River, what do you mean?" River just ignored her again and began to climb down from her perch.
Josephine gave an exasperated sigh. "Why are you so gorram infuriating all the time! You have this amazing... gift. Can't you just give me a straight answer?"
The young psychic smiled at her again, a strange sort of calmness settling over her. "Where would the fun be in that?"
River turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving Josephine to scrape her jaw off the floor of the corridor. She stared after her in surprise for a few moments before shaking her head and turning sharply on her heels.
No one seemed to puzzle her more than Serenity's young pilot. Most of the time her words made absolutely no sense to Josephine... that is until they came true. But sometimes River would say something so telling, so coherent, that she couldn't help but wonder how much of it was actually real and how much of it was just River trying to have fun.
Her footsteps clanged as she started descending the stairs into the cavernous cargo bay, distracting her from her thoughts for a moment. She paused halfway down, eyes searching the large area for Mal, but she didn't see him. She continued down in confusion and turned left once the stairs ended, hurrying towards the infirmary.
"Jo!"
She turned around in time to see Kaylee bouncing towards her, a sweet smile on her grease smudged face.
Josephine couldn't help but return her infectious smile as the mechanic approached her.
"I was just about to get some breakfast," Kaylee spoke quickly. "Want to come?"
Jo's smile faltered as she wondered how to answer, finally opting for the truth. "Um... actually I was on my way to see Simon..."
The smile fell from Kaylee's face as it darkened with worry and she spoke quickly. "Is everything alright? Have you been hurt? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing really... no need for anyone to worry. I just need to see him."
"Oh... ok." Kaylee looked as though she didn't believe her but her face brightened once again. "Well I'll go with you. I never get tired of seeing Simon."
"That isn't necessary," Josephine spoke softly, silently debating ways to get the young woman to leave without being rude.
"Don't be silly." Kaylee stepped beside her and linked their arms together, forcing Jo in the direction of the infirmary.
Jo allowed herself to be led for a few seconds before pulling her arm away from Kaylee. "Really, I don't need an escort... it's private."
Josephine watched as the hurt and confusion crept through Kaylee's features, and silently admonished herself.
"Kaylee... I'm sorry, it's really not that serious," she lied. "I promise I'll tell you everything when I can, alright?"
Kaylee frowned at her for a long moment before nodding, once again giving the impression that she didn't really believe Josephine. "I guess."
"Good, I'll see you later." Josephine turned and walked quickly towards the infirmary. The blinds were open and she could see Mal and Simon standing amongst the stark whiteness.
Mal glanced up as she approached and slid the doors open for her, shutting them softly once she was inside. Simon stood near the examination table, looking thoroughly confused and a little worried, making Jo think Mal hadn't told him anything yet.
The doctor's head moved back and forth between the two of them for a moment. "Is someone going to tell me what's going on now?"
Josephine opened her mouth to speak but Mal stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Wait," he spoke softly and pointed towards the glass with his other hand.
Jo followed his arm with her eyes until she caught a glimpse of Kaylee through the opened blinds. "She followed me... she's worried."
Mal moved towards the windows and began closing the blinds. Jo saw Kaylee's eyes widen briefly in the distance before the young mechanic was obscured by the white blinds and she and Mal both turned back to Simon.
The Doctor looked even more confused than before, and this time, just a little angry. "What's so important that Kaylee can't know what's going on?"
Sighing deeply, Josephine opened her mouth to speak. "Everyone's going to know eventually Simon. There's just a few things I want figured out myself first."
"I'm listening," Simon spoke quickly, crossing his arms over his chest in the process.
Josephine took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm pregnant."
Simon's blinked at them both for a long moment, the surprise evident on his face, and Jo could almost see the wheels turning inside his head.
After a few minutes of his silence, Josephine spoke. "Gorramit Simon, say something."
"Well," he began slowly, "I guess I should be congratulating you both right now, but all the secrecy makes me think you wouldn't welcome it. Do you know how far along you are?"
"A little more than three months," Josephine spoke quickly, chancing a glance at Mal who's guarded eyes were fixed on Simon.
"Alright... so why all the secrecy? Is it that you don't want it? Because I'll tell you right now, I don't..."
"We need you to figure out who the father is," Mal said loudly, interrupting the Doctor's short tirade.
Simon's eyes widened as his gaze shifted between the two of them. "But I thought... you two... Kaylee said so..."
Josephine fought with the urge to roll her eyes at the man who was usually so much more intelligent than this. "Kaylee was right... but think back Simon. Three months ago Rawley found me again and he... did things... you should know, you doctored most of them. But you couldn't doctor this."
"Chu xu sheng," Simon cursed softly and lowered his eyes to the floor in thought for a long moment. Josephine almost prompted him to speak, but there was no need. All at once the Doctor seemed to spring into action, hurrying around the small room as he spoke.
"Right, I can take a sample of Mal's blood and a sample from the... fetus... but I won't be able to do the actual testing here, I don't have the equipment."
Simon appeared back in front of them, his gloved hands now holding a tray with medical equipment on it. Josephine's eyes roamed over the tray's test tubes, cotton swabs and syringes. Her eyes falling onto a large, thick syringe that looked more like a metal rod than an actual needle.
"Wait, what do you mean you can't do the tests?" Mal's voice distracted her from the frightening instrument on the tray.
"River said so already..." she spoke softly.
Mal turned surprised eyes towards Josephine. "You told River?"
Jo frowned at him. "Of course not. You don't have to tell River anything, but somehow she always knows."
Mal smiled slightly and turned back to Simon. "You can't do the tests here?"
"No... like I said I don't have the right equipment."
"So where do we go for the right equipment?"
"Well," Simon paused in thought for a short moment, "really, anywhere with a hospital should have what I need."
Josephine turned back to Mal. "Where can we go?"
"We'll figure it out," he answered softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. Jo's hand covered his own as they stared at each other quietly.
Simon cleared his throat to get their attention again and he raised the tray a little higher. "But we can do this now, and keep them cool."
Mal blinked at Simon a moment before nodding. He moved over to the table and sat, rolling his sleeve up as he did. Josephine watched as Simon pierced Mal's flesh with one of the normal looking needles and it quickly filled with thick red blood. She knew for certain then that the large scary syringe was meant for her and she couldn't take her eyes from it.
"Josephine?"
She glanced up quickly at the sound of Simon's voice to see that he was finished with Mal and was motioning for her to lay on the table. She sat slowly and Mal helped her move back until she was laying flat. Simon appeared above her suddenly, clutching the large syringe in his hands.
"This is going to hurt a little," he said as he glanced down at her somewhat embarrassedly.
"What are you going to do?"
"In laymen's terms?" Josephine nodded. "I jab you in the stomach with this, it goes through your skin, penetrates the placenta and takes the information we need from the... fetus."
Josephine frowned up at him. "Why do you keep saying it like that?"
"I don't know what you mean..."
"You hesitate right before you say fetus."
Simon smiled down at her sadly. "Standard medical training... I keep wanting to say 'baby' but we aren't supposed to. Some patients find that too personal, especially if they aren't..."
"Alright, I get it... just do it."
Mal took one of her hands as Simon lifted the end of her shirt up until her stomach was bare.
"Try not to tense up," Simon advised, "or it will hurt a lot more and the bruising will be worse..."
"Bruising? You didn't say anything about..." She stopped speaking as all the air left her lungs and she felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Her grip on Mal's hand tightened and she looked down at her stomach in time to see Simon remove the syringe.
Mal helped her sit up again while Simon put his samples away, kissed her on the forehead, and departed, mumbling about work to be done.
When Simon was finished he turned back to Jo. "Well..."
Josephine lowered her shirt, knowing she would have a bruise there tomorrow, and jumped down from the table. "Well what?"
"All we need now is a hospital with the right equipment and we can run the test."
"Alright, xie xie ni Simon," Josephine spoke softly on her way to the doors.
"Just doing my job," the Doctor smiled. "Josephine?"
She stopped just inside the doors and turned back to him. "Yes?"
Simon stared at her a moment, looking decidedly uncomfortable, before speaking. "What are you going to do... if it's not Mal's?"
She returned his gaze and tried to think of an answer, any answer, to appease him. But all she could come up with was the truth.
"I don't know."