With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this

Broken – XII

"Kakashi?"

The silver-haired teen looked up. Anko was standing in the door to his room (and it really was his room now. No more sharing with Obito), watching him apprehensively. He looked away from her. He didn't want to face anyone. He hadn't even been able to look Rin in the eye.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

You don't know that. It could be. Orochimaru-sama said if I didn't go back to him, bad things would happen. Okay, so he didn't say it in those exact words. But he might as well have. What if it really is my fault? Would you and Rin hate me? I don't think I could stand it if you two hated me…especially you, Kakashi.

That was what Anko wanted to say. But her throat seemed to have closed up. And anyways, she wasn't sure what Kakashi would say if she did come out with all of that. What would he think of her? Would be believe that she really had been the cause of everything? Would he turn her away?

"I was so stupid."

His voice jolted her out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"Obito had to save me." Kakashi explained in a low voice. "The car was coming towards me. I didn't see it until it was too late though. Obito saw it. He grabbed me and threw me out of the way. If he hadn't had to save me, he would have been able to move quicker, he wouldn't have been hit. He'd still be alive. This is all my fault."

"No it isn't―"

"Yes it is." His voice was so low and final, Anko didn't think she could argue with him. But that had never stopped her before.

"So then what was Uchiha supposed to do? Let you get hit? He may have acted like he hated you, but if he lived and you were dead, he wouldn't have been able to live with himself." Anko rested her hands on her hips. "He's probably up in some great beyond right now laughing at you because you feel so guilty."

Kakashi smiled weakly under his mask. He knew Anko was right. He just couldn't bring himself to admit it.

"But still―"

"Still what, Kakashi?" Anko asked, sounding aggravated now. "You still want to blame yourself? Fine. Blame yourself until the world ends, I don't care, it's not going to bring Uchiha back though!"

Kakashi blinked and stared at Anko, wide-eyed. He knew she had a short temper, but she'd never yelled and actually made sense at the same time. He didn't know what to say to her now.

She sighed heavily, all the fight gone from her now. She just looked tired. "Blaming yourself is useless. There's no point thinking about the 'what ifs.' You can't change what happened in the past, so just worry about making the future better. You still have Rin, after all, she's going to need you. And…"

Anko's voice trailed off. Her face was reddening slightly. Kakashi watched her, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

"You still have me."

Almost quicker than Kakashi could see, she swooped down and kissed him on the cheek. He barely had time to be surprised before she bolted out of the room. He blinked and raised a hand to his cheek.

Well then…looks like she told me off.

Three days later, Kakashi was rummaging through his closet, trying to find something black to where. It was the day of Obito's funeral. The sky outside was gray and overcast, matching his mood, and the mood of everyone else in Konoha.

I know I have a black shirt around here somewhere…

His eyes finally landed on one. It was Obito's, and probably wouldn't fit, but what the hell? He couldn't find one of his own.

He was surprised it actually fit quite comfortably. He tugged the sleeves down over his hands, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Then he took one last look around the room ― his room. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around that one. He kept expecting Obito to come bursting in, yelling like a maniac about one thing or another.

Kakashi sighed. He just couldn't bring himself to accept the fact that Obito was really and truly dead.

Knock-Knock

He looked over at the door. "Come in."

Rin and Anko stepped in, both wearing solemn looks. Kakashi was surprised to see Anko actually in a dress (on loan from Rin). The purple-haired girl looked very uncomfortable. She kept shifting from foot to foot, her eyes moving left and right. Rin looked at Kakashi, her dark brown eyes solemn.

"Ready to go, Kakashi-kun?"

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for this." He sighed. "Let's go."

The cemetery was littered with people, mostly the older kids from the home, who knew Obito. Kakashi saw Asuma and Kurenai standing off by themselves. He noticed their hands were touching, and half expected Obito to shout some sarcastic remark about the couple. But Obito wasn't there.

Kakashi shook his head. He had to stop doing that.

The service had barely begun when it started to rain. It was pouring in a matter of seconds, and everyone was soaked. Anko, who was standing next to Kakashi, was shivering. The silver-haired teen slipped off the jacket he was wearing, and draped it over her shoulders. She looked up at him in surprise, but he didn't say anything. She sighed and looked back at the casket that was holding whatever was left of their friend.

Damn you Uchiha. She thought, sighing. I really used to hate you, you know. I heard what you said about me all those times during class, calling me a freak, saying I was probably as twisted as Orochimaru-sama ― Orochimaru. I wanted to hit you so many times. And that day outside the restaurant, you were just begging me to. God I hated you. I wish I could hate you now. It might make things a lot easier.

Suddenly the creeping feeling that she was being watched came over her, and she looked around. The only people around her though were all staring straight ahead. She gulped, not liking this feeling.

Rin was crying. Kakashi knew he should have comforted her, but he couldn't bring himself to. He looked away, at Anko, who was surveying the area around them. He kicked her lightly to get her attention and make her look front again. She jumped a little and quickly did so. Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets and looked forward as well. He wished this was all just a dream. Or maybe a joke. A cruel joke in which Obito was still alive, just so Kakashi could kill him.

He really wished it was just a joke.

"The service ended ten minutes ago." Minato said some time later, approaching the small group. "You should probably head back. You're gonna catch a cold."

"We're fine." They all muttered at the same time. Anko pulled Kakashi's jacket a little tighter around her small body. Minato sighed.

"Stubborn. All three of you are stubborn." He shook his head. "I know you miss Obito. A lot of us do. But standing out here and making yourselves sick won't bring him back."

And again, the feeling that she was being watched came over Anko. She looked around, barely hearing what Minato was saying. And this time, she found the person who was watching her.

Their eyes met, and her large brown ones widened with fear. What was he doing here? What did he want?

Suddenly Anko felt light-headed. The world was spinning. She thought she heard Kakashi saying her name. It was the last thing she heard before she blacked out.

"Anko!" Kakashi caught Anko just before she hit the ground. Rin and Minato looked around in surprise. Kakashi kneeled down carefully, supporting Anko in his arms. He wasn't sure what had happened. She'd been staring at something, and she'd suddenly gone very pale and just…collapsed. Kakashi looked over at where she been staring. There was nothing there.

"Is she okay?" Rin asked, looking scared. Minato knelt down next to Kakashi, resting a hand on Anko's head.

"What happened?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I don't know." He carefully took Anko into his arms. "I'll take her back. Rin, you coming?"

Rin nodded and the group started back. They didn't speak. They didn't know what to say. What did one say after attending their best friend's funeral? Nothing sounded even remotely appropriate.

Kakashi, in an attempt to distract himself, looked down at the girl in his arms. At that moment, he didn't feel like he knew anything.

"Rin-nee-chan, are you okay?"

Rin looked down at Kai, who was looking up at her, obviously concerned. She tried to smile.

"Yeah Kai. I'm fine."

"Where's Anko-nee-chan?"

The small boy sure was attached to the purple-haired girl. Something he and Kakashi had in common.

"She's upstairs. Sleeping."

"How come?"

Wish I knew. "No clue. I guess she was tired." Kai looked satisfied with that answer.

"Okay. Where's Obito-nee-chan?"

Wham. Rin felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. "I haven't seen him for a couple of days. He was a lot of fun to play with. Where is he?"

Rin bit her lip. How was she supposed to explain to a three-year-old that Obito was dead. She hardly understood it herself.

"Obito-kun is…Obito-kun is…" Rin sighed. "Obito-kun went away, Kai."

"Oh." Kai's eyes widened with understanding. "Did he go with another family? That happened to one of my friends, he went with another family. A foster family, I think he called it."

Rin sighed. Close enough. Obito was gone, after all. Kai didn't need to know the details. "Yeah, Kai. Obito-kun went with a foster family."

"Oh, I see. Okay." Kai smiled, accepting Rin's answer, and bounced away. The auburn-haired girl sighed. She felt bad lying to Kai, but telling him the truth would have hurt too much.

It was never easy to choose between two evils.

I need to get away from this. She started upstairs to her room. She hadn't seen Anko, and had assumed she was still asleep. She was surprised, therefore, when she opened the door and found Anko sitting on her bed, shoving stuff into a bag.

"Anko-san! You're ― what are you doing?" Rin narrowed her eyes, suspicious. Anko looked up, her eyes filled with shock and fear. She obviously hadn't expected Rin to walk in.

"Rin-san, I…"

"What's with the bag? Why are you packing?" Rin's eyes widened in shock. "You're not…Anko-san are you―"

Anko looked incredibly guilty as she slipped off the bed and walked slowly over to Rin. She shifted her eyes to meet Rin's. Two pairs of brown eyes connected.

"Sorry Rin-san."

It was the last thing Rin heard before Anko swung her fist into Rin's stomach. The older girl doubled over, more surprised than hurt, and Anko hit her in the back of the neck. She was out at once.

Anko looked down at Rin's still form, guilt threatening to overwhelm her. She closed the door, biting her lip. "I'm so sorry…for everything."

She walked back over to her bed and swung her backpack of her shoulders. She cast Rin one more, sorrowful look before carefully slipping out the window, thanking God that their room wasn't that far off the ground. She didn't even notice what she had left behind.

Kakashi knocked on Rin's bedroom door. It had been awhile since he had seen the auburn-haired girl, and he was a little worried. She hadn't been herself since the day Obito had died.

"Rin? Open up, it's Kakashi."

No answer. Kakashi scowled slightly. "Rin, come on. Don't ignore me."

Still no answer. Kakashi sighed and opened the door. His eyes landed on a shocking scene.

"Rin!"

He dove down next to the unconscious girl, picking her up carefully. A quick sweep of the room told him Anko wasn't there. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Rin's groan brought him back to reality. He looked down at her.

"Rin?"

"Mmm…" She murmured something under her breath. "Kakashi-kun…Anko-san…"

Suddenly her eyes widened and she shot up, looking around. Kakashi was surprised by the sudden movement. He had never seen Rin move that fast.

"Rin, what-"

"Anko-san!" Rin's eyes were darting back and forth, looking around the room. "Where is she, where'd she go?"

"I didn't even know she was awake." Kakashi said, blinking. "Why, what is it Rin, what's wrong?"

"I saw her packing a bag!" Rin cried, jumping up. Kakashi obviously wasn't following the auburn-haired girl. He stared, his mouth agape. "Jeez Kakashi-kun, aren't you listening? She was packing, she was leaving!"

"She what?" Kakashi looked around the room, and spotted a piece of lone paper on Anko's bed. He walked over to it and picked it up. His eyes widened as he read the curved writing.

"Kakashi-kun?" Rin sounded slightly calmer, though not much. "Kakashi-kun, what is it, what's wrong?"

"Damn it!" The paper flew from Kakashi's hands as he ran out the door and down the stairs, missing about half of them. "Call the police!" He called over his shoulder. Rin snagged the paper from midair and read it.

You see what happens? That little Uchiha boy is dead because of you, Anko. Who will be next? The pretty little girl Rin? Or perhaps Kakashi. I notice you've become particularly close to him. You could save a whole lot of people though, if you just come home. Come home, Anko. And no one else will have to be hurt.

Author's Note: Hnm...so...yeah. You like? I wonder what happens in the next chapter...oh wait, I should know that, shouldn't? Oh well...I do know one thing though. You won't be getting the next chapter until next Monday -- I'm going away for a week, leaving tomorrow. So I'm posting today. Review so I have something to look forward to when I come back! -- Sam