With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
Broken – XVI
Kakashi leaned against the wall outside of Anko's room, his hands clasped behind his back, his head bowed. He was waiting to get the okay, to be able to go in and see her. But the doctor had said she was sleeping, and before she woke up he wanted to talk to them (Kakashi and Minato) about a few things.
So now Kakashi waited. But the only thing on his mind was, When can I see Anko already?
"There's no way of knowing whether or not she'll ever regain her memory." The doctor was saying. Kakashi tuned in a little for that. "It could be tomorrow, it could be next year…it could never. There's no definite pattern for amnesia."
Minato sighed. "How high is the possibility that she'll never recover her memory?" He asked, unsure he wanted to know what the answer was.
"Considering how bad the head damage was, it's very likely." Kakashi wanted to punch the doctor. He sounded so cold, so uncaring. How could he be so apathetic about something so serious?
Minato watched the boy next to him clench and unclench his fists a couple of times. Not wanting to know what was going through the teen's head, the blonde man said, "I see. Thank you."
"Any more questions?"
Kakashi straightened up at once. "Can I see her now?"
Minato sighed and looked pleadingly at the doctor, who nodded. "I can't guarantee she'll be awake though."
"Don't care." And with that Kakashi pushed himself off the wall, opened the door to Anko's room, and stepped in.
True to the doctor's word, Anko was asleep. It was rather sad, considering how long Kakashi had waited for her to wake up, to still see her eyes stubbornly closed. At least the position she was laying in had changed. She was now curled up in a small ball under her covers (which was how she usually liked to sleep), instead of on her back.
Kakashi sighed as he sat down in his regular chair next to the bed, and watched Anko sleep. Well, it was a start.
A soft groan brought the silver-haired teen back to reality. Anko was just starting to wake up. Kakashi sighed. Here it comes, he thought sadly.
If she really didn't remember him, then she would want to know why there was a strange boy in her room. Kakashi was still trying to figure out how to answer the question when it came. He had been since two that morning, when Minato had come in and told him what was going on.
"Hello." Anko said cautiously when her eyes finally focused on him. Kakashi looked up at her.
"Hey."
"Erm…" She sounded uncomfortable. "Sorry, but…who are you?"
Anyone you want me to be. "My name's…Hatake Kakashi." He finally settled for saying. "We're…we're friends."
"Oh." She looked down at her hands, which were clutching the blankets loosely. Kakashi took a second to look her over. She was being supported by two pillows, which made her looked smaller than she already was, and she was shaking a little. Kakashi sighed. What he wouldn't have given to tell her what they really were.
Well what are you? What do you want to tell her?
Shut up. I'm thinking.
No kidding. I'm your thoughts, moron.
Shut up!
Noticing nothing of Kakashi's internal battle, Anko began speaking again, testing out his name. "Kakashi." She smiled softly, her eyes still fixed on the blanket. "That's cool. Sorry I don't…remember you."
Kakashi sighed. She sounded a little put-out by this. "It's all right. You will. I'm not worried about it, so you shouldn't be either."
Anko raised her light brown eyes. Her smile didn't seem to have reached them yet. Kakashi sighed and reached out, carefully take her hand into his. "I'll help." He added quietly. She looked up at him in surprise.
"Why?"
Why? Because I'm only fourteen, but I think I'm in love…with you. Because the past three months without you have been a slow, torturous hell, and the longer you don't remember, the worst it's gonna be. Because I want you to be who you always were.
"Because you're my friend. And I want to."
"Minato-Sensei." Minato looked down at Kakashi has they left the hospital. It was much later in the day. The sun was almost setting. But Kakashi had wanted to stay with Anko. And Minato would have felt guilty leaving the two. "I have a question."
"Ask away."
"Well…" Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets. "They're probably not going to keep her much longer, are they?"
Minato shook his head. "Where she's been in the coma for so long, Kakashi. I don't really know. It'd be one thing if it was just a couple of weeks, but she's been under for three months. The doctor told me sometimes it takes at least another month even after coming out to fully recover."
Kakashi sighed. He had expected something like that. "All right, but when she does, what…"
His voice drifted off. Minato waited for Kakashi to finish putting his thoughts together and continue speaking.
"What exactly do you plan on doing with her after that?" Minato blinked. "I mean, obviously her room is still free, but I don't think she'd be overly comfortable in a room all by herself. If Rin was still…around it'd be a different story, but…"
Minato got what Kakashi was saying. "You're probably right. But I also don't think putting her with a total stranger would be a good idea either. Right now, and probably until they release her, you're the only one she really knows."
Kakashi thought about this for a minute. "What about Kurenai?"
The raven-haired girl had been Anko's most frequent visitor, after Kakashi, of course. Once she heard Anko was awake, Kurenai would practically fly down to the hospital to see her.
"Maybe…" Minato said doubtfully. "But to be perfectly honest, the only person she's really going to trust is you, Kakashi." Kakashi looked up in surprise. "You were the first one that was there for her when she needed someone, you offered her help, you gave her exactly what she needed."
Kakashi stopped walking and looked up at Minato. "So what? I mean, I'm not saying all of that's a bad thing, but she can't very well share a room with me."
Minato stopped walking as well. There was mischievous look in his eyes. Kakashi suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Mmm…" Anko murmured under her breath. "It's nice out today."
"Yeah. You'd never think it was just snowing a couple of days ago." Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched her jog a little ways ahead of her. Part of him was worried; she'd just been released from the hospital after coming out of a coma just a couple of weeks earlier. She had recovered much faster than the doctors had expected her to. It was her will, Kakashi suspected. She was Anko, after all. Nothing could ever stop Anko.
"Hey, take it easy." Kakashi called after the girl in question. While he had been lost in thought, she'd gotten further ahead of him.
Brilliant idea Minato-Sensei. Call the hospital, tell them it's all right for Hatake Kakashi to sign Mitarashi Anko out, that's it, yeah…
"Hey!" Kakashi caught up to Anko, grabbing her by the shoulder and holding her back so she'd stop running. "Would you please slow down? You just got out of the hospital for heaven's sake!"
She turned her head to him, smiling. "But I'm fine." She said simply, her eyes glowing with happiness. It was a look Kakashi had never seen on her face before.
But then…he supposed it was easy to be happy when a person couldn't remember any of the terrible things that had happened to them.
"I don't care." Kakashi said firmly. "You were still just released from the hospital, after being in a coma for three months. Just take it easy, okay? Otherwise I'm gonna carry you home."
"Forget it!" Anko protested, turning to look at him fully. "That's just embarrassing!"
"I've done it before."
"When?!"
"Oh, a couple of times…" Kakashi was thoroughly enjoying teasing her. He probably should have felt bad, but if he wanted things to be normal, then he was going to have to act normal. And if that included baiting Anko a little…then so be it. He'd really missed this. "You were sleeping both times."
"Well then it doesn't count, does it? Not if I was asleep!" She crossed her arms stubbornly. Kakashi smiled under his mask, and patted her head briefly, saying,
"Oh come on, you know you have some secret desire for me to carry you." She scowled and swatted his hand away.
"Can we just go already?" Kakashi continued smiling. Oh yeah. He was definitely going to have fun with her.
"All right, all right. But stop running ahead of me, okay?" She nodded, and the two fell into pace with each other. The walk was silent, but in a comfortable way. Kakashi didn't need words for the girl walking beside him. At one point he thought she could read his mind.
Things had changed, of course. But still…words just weren't necessary sometimes.
"Anko-nee-chan!" Kai practically threw himself at the girl the second she stepped in the door to Konoha. She looked down in surprise.
"W…Wha…?"
Kakashi smiled and carefully pried Kai off of Anko. The boy grinned up at the older girl. "It's sooo good to see you again Anko-nee-chan! I've really missed you! Kurenai-nee-chan told me―"
"Kai." The girl in question came up behind the younger boy. Kurenai rested a hand on Kai's shoulders. "Give the poor girl a break, she just walked through the door two seconds ago. Find Asuma, see if he'll play with you. You can catch up with Anko later. Sound good?"
It obviously didn't. Kai pouted and folded his arms over his chests, his frown deepening with each word Kurenai spoke.
"I don't wanna play with Asuma-nee-chan!"
"Well gee, thanks Kai!" Asuma had just come downstairs. "I didn't want to play with you either!"
Anko was completely and totally lost. Too many people, too many names. Her head starting to hurt.
"Come on now, let's go down to the art room for a little while, okay Kai?"
"Okay…" Kai said hesitantly. He really wanted to stay with Anko. But he followed Asuma anyway, waving to the girl over his shoulder. "Bye Anko-nee-chan!"
Kurenai shook her head as she watched him. "The kid is pretty attached to you. Don't know why either, you haven't done anything different from what the rest of us do with him—"
Anko still looked confused. Kakashi couldn't blame her. She'd met Kurenai in the hospital, but it had only been a couple of times. Kakashi had quickly learned she needed to see the same faces regularly in order to keep track of who they were (it'd been difficult for her to remember Minato as well, as he talked to the doctor a lot when he went to the hospital).
Minato. Kakashi scowled a little under his mask. He was in a bit of bind now because of the older man. And all because of his concern for Anko.
"You what?" Kakashi asked in disbelief. Minato shrugged.
"Well you brought up a very good point. It wouldn't be fair to Anko to just drop in her a room by herself, or with a stranger ― or someone she knows vaguely ― so I talked to Sarutobi-sama―"
"Okay, yeah, maybe I said that, but I didn't mean I wanted her to―"
"I don't get you Kakashi." Minato sighed. "It's not such a big deal, unless you think you'll try to take advantage of her in her sleep."
Kakashi blushed furiously under his mask. What the hell was Minato thinking, convincing Sarutobi to let Anko share a room with Kakashi? It was ridiculous, it was insane, ludicrous, he wouldn't―
"So what do you say, Kakashi?"
The teen gulped. What could he say?
"Heeey!" Anko whined, knocking Kakashi on the head a few times. "You still in there or what? Quit ignoring me!"
"I'm not ignoring you." Kakashi said, swatting her hand away from his head. "I was just thinking about something, that's all. Quiet for a second."
Telling Anko to be quiet, of course, was like telling the sun to stop shining. "Give me a break. Come on, let's head upstairs."
Kurenai smirked as she watched the two go upstairs. Kakashi had already complained (quite extensively) to her and Asuma about Minato's brilliant idea. It wasn't that he didn't want to help Anko, it was just…well, he didn't really know. He just wasn't sure how great of an idea it was to have a boy and a girl sharing a room.
That boy was way too old fashioned, Kurenai mused. He'd see eventually that this was probably the best idea Minato ever had. At any rate, the raven-haired girl had a feeling the next few weeks were going to be very…interesting.
Anko sat down on the bed, looking around. The side of the room she was sitting on was decorated with posters and pictures, all loud colors. The opposite side of the room was…passive. Impersonal.
It had to be Kakashi's side.
Anko thought for a second, then voiced this thought. Kakashi looked over at her, pretending to be hurt by her words. "Are you saying I'm impersonal?"
"Pretty much." Anko smirked. Kakashi just shook his head, eyes closed. Anko took advantage of this momentary blindness to give him a good once-over.
Fairly tall. Insane silver hair. A mask (which Anko had questioned on more than one occasion). And the look of someone who had grown up way too much in way too little of a time.
This was the boy who had walked into her life when she had nothing, not even her memories, claiming to be her friend, telling her things she didn't understand, and promising to help her without even giving a reasonable explanation as to why. Anko had every reason to be suspicious of him and his motives.
And yet…she wasn't. Of all the people that had visited her at the hospital (which was all of maybe four or five people, in total), Kakashi was the only one she trusted so completely. And she didn't understand why. Was it because he had been there when she needed someone? Was it some left over thing from the memories she didn't have, telling her he was okay?
There was way too much Anko didn't understand. She hoped she would be able to eventually.
Kakashi looked down at his nightstand while Anko was staring off into space. The picture of the two of them, Rin, and Obito down at the river was still sitting there. Making sure Anko was completely involved with the wall, Kakashi carefully grabbed the picture and shoved it under his pillow. He didn't need her asking questions about Rin and Obito. They would be too painful to answer.
"Hey, you with me?" Anko blinked in response to his voice, and looked at him in surprise.
"What? Yeah. Sorry."
"What were you think about just now?" She shrugged.
"Nothing much." She smiled a little. "Just that I wish I could remember you, so I'd know whether or not I can actually trust you."
"Gee thanks." Kakashi grumbled. Some gratitude. He was surprised when a small laugh escaped her lips.
"Don't worry. Even if I did suddenly remember, and I realized I completely hated you, with the way you've been treating me, I might change my mind."
Kakashi smiled under his mask. She really did have a way of getting under peoples' skin, just like Obito had once accused her of being able to do. But she could get out of it just as smoothly.
"So." Anko bounced up suddenly, stretching her arms. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Wanna get something to eat?"
"Yeah, sure." Kakashi shrugged in an 'I'm-just-doing-what-you-want' way. "Let's go."
And they left. He let her lead the way, even though she had no clue where she was going. And suddenly, he was happy with the sleeping arrangements. He never wanted her away from him again.
Author's Note: I had fun with this chapter. Review and let me know what you think, k? ;) -- Sam