With my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
Broken — XX
Anko moved back into her's and Rin's old room. Kakashi didn't let on, but he was disappointed. He knew, of course, that she wouldn't be able to stay once she didn't need him anymore…but still, he wished she could have stayed — just a little while longer.
They hadn't spoken about what had happened at the park. Kakashi had tried to bring it up once, and instantly dropped it. It had been too awkward.
So instead he did the one thing he seemed to do best: he stayed with Anko and refused to let her out of his sight. That was easier said than done, of course, considering they had school and their rooms were separated by a floor, but he did the best he could. They didn't talk much when they were together, but they were both more comfortable that way. It was easier to let the silence persist then to say things that needed to be said.
The police still gave Minato daily updates on the search for Orochimaru. The blonde-haired man always told Kakashi what was going on, but there wasn't much to say, because they hadn't found the bastard and they didn't have any hints as to where they might find him. He was almost like a snake.
Tap…Tap…Tap…
Kakashi sighed and put his pencil down. He and Anko were in the study room working on homework. Well, he was working on homework. Anko was keeping up a steady rhythm with her pencil.
Tap…Tap…Tap…
"Okay." He said finally, giving on. "What's bothering you?"
She didn't looked from her homework, which she had been staring at vacantly for the last half hour. "What makes you think anything's bothering me?"
Tap…Tap…Tap…
"Because last time I checked we were here to do homework, not demonstrate your lack of musical talent."
Tap…Tap…Tap…
"And if you tap that pencil one more time Anko I swear, I will snap it in half." Anko sighed as she set her pencil down at last.
"Okay A, there's nothing wrong, and B, I do so have musical talent. You just don't appreciate it." Kakashi snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, Tap-Tap-Tap. Sure to be the next number one single." Anko stuck her tongue out at him, face pinched in annoyance. Well, she could act. But Kakashi could tell something was bothering her — but then, something was always bothering her these days. He wished she'd talk to him about it — waiting for her to come to him with her problems had been dangerous last time he'd done it…
"Come on." He closed his books and started putting them into his bag. "It's still early. Let's go for a walk."
Anko seemed happy to agree. On one condition of course. "Not the park."
"Not a chance." Kakashi complied at once. They left their stuff under the table and left together. Minato was, of course, watching them from the watch station. He smirked. If only Kakashi realized how in love he was…not that Anko was much better. She seemed to be as blind as he was. Minato rolled his eyes. Kids…
Kakashi and Anko walked in silence for a few minutes. Usually that was okay, but today it drove Kakashi crazy. "So?" He prompted finally, hoping that would give Anko a hint. No such luck.
"So what?"
Kakashi groaned. This girl is going to drive me insane. "Please Anko. For the love of my sanity. Just tell me what's wrong already."
"I told you, nothing's wrong."
Kakashi wished he had something to hit his head against. "Jeez…you're going to drive me into an early grave, you know."
"You wouldn't be the first one." It was no more than a mutter, but Kakashi still heard every word of it. He winced.
"That's…not what I meant." Stupid, stupid, stupid Kakashi! Could you have thought of a worse choice of words?
"Forget it. I know what you meant."
Silence was definitely safer. Kakashi was glad to let it take over again. He shoved his hands into his pockets, sulking now, and looking down every now and then at the head of spiky purple hair that walked beside him. He hated it when she thought she couldn't talk to him…
Finally she sighed. "You know…" Kakashi straightened up, trying not to look too eager. "You don't have to…ya know…force yourself to be with me…if you don't want to. I'd understand."
Kakashi blinked. He hadn't expected that. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, you know…" She shrugged, struggling for the words. "I know you don't want to be with me…that's fine, you don't have to be, I mean…I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to be with me either."
Kakashi stared for a minute, trying to figure out how to respond to that. "Have you lost your mind?" He finally settled for asking, surprised by how calm his voice sounded.
"In a manner of speaking." She admitted, a small smile gracing her lips. Kakashi just shook his head.
"I'm not forcing myself to do anything — and that includes hang around with you. Where did you even get that idea?"
"It's the only thing I can think of." She stopped walking and looked up at him. He stopped as well, meeting her deep, troubled brown eyes. "It's the only idea that makes sense. You…feel sorry for me or whatever, and you force yourself to be around me so I don't have to be lonely, even though you hate me—"
"Whoa, whoa, hang on a second, back up!" Kakashi cut Anko off suddenly. She blinked and her mouth snapped shut. "Where the hell did you get the idea that I hate you?" She pressed her lips tightly together, contemplating for a minute. She looked away, focusing on the sidewalk below them.
"Because of…of what happened…Obito…" Kakashi flinched at the sound of his friend's name. "That was…my fault…"
Kakashi just shook his head. Leave it to Anko to take the blame for everything. He sighed as he reached up and pinched her lips between his thumb and forefinger, effectively shutting her up. She blinked and looked up at him. "Just hush, all right?" He commanded, pulling his hand away. "Obito…what happened to him wasn't your fault. Nobody blames you. I certainly don't blame you — it has nothing to do with you."
Kakashi could tell she wanted to say something, but she pressed her lips together, resisting the urge. "You're allowed to talk now." He informed her.
"But Orochimaru's the one…he sent the car, he did it because of me!"
"He did." Kakashi agreed. "And I blame him. But it's not like you told him to, you didn't know he was going to—"
"Yes I did."
Her voice was a fragile, miserable whisper. It shook Kakashi — he'd never heard anyone sound quite so…broken. "He told me." She went on, looking away from him again. "He wanted me to come home, he told me…he said I was a burden to everyone, a magnet for trouble, if I didn't get hurt…one of my friends would…and then Obito was…it was Orochimaru, it's always him…and it's my fault…"
Kakashi sighed as he reached his hands up and rested them on Anko's shoulders, steadying her shaking body. "Anko? C'mon Anko, look at me." After a stubborn moment she complied, meeting his eyes. "I know for some sick reason you enjoy blaming yourself for every little problem, but that's going to stop, understand? It stops right now. I told you before, everything that's happened…I don't blame you, no one blames you. Except you. And that's going to end. Now."
She just looked up at him, her expression slightly dazed. How much longer, he wondered, could she take all the blame on herself? She wasn't strong enough for that. No one was strong enough for that. He sighed as he pulled her towards him, wrapping her in a tight hug. She relaxed against him; he could almost see the tension draining from her body.
"You're sure you're not forcing yourself to be with me?" Anko asked quietly after a minute. Kakashi chuckled.
"Trust me. Most of the time I have to force myself to leave you." A small laugh escaped her lips.
"Good." She said after a minute, pulling away from Kakashi. He reached down and took one of her small hands in his, squeezing it. "We should probably get back. It's getting late…"
"Yeah, probably." They started home together hand-in-hand. Neither knew that they'd had an audience for that entire scene.
Anko finished getting her clothes together, her back to the open door of her room. Pajamas in hand she turned to head for the shower…
"Yah!"
And jumped backwards, her clothes flying from her arms, her heart racing. Kurenai was standing in the door to her room, arms folded, an uncharacteristically serious look on her face. Anko took a minute to remember how to breathe before laying into her friend.
"What the hell Kurenai?! How long have you been standing there?"
Kurenai didn't answer at first. She walked slowly into the room, standing in the middle of the floor for a moment before sitting down on Anko's bed. Anko just stared, eyebrow raised, and after a minute sat down on Rin's bed so she was directly across from Kurenai. She curled her legs up on the bed, still staring.
"What's your problem?"
Kurenai contemplated for a moment before speaking. "Anko, we're friends, right?"
"Um…is this a trick question?"
"Just answer it. Are you, or are you not, my friend?"
Anko rolled her eyes. Over-dramatic. "Yes, Kurenai, we're friends. I can't be picky, I seem to scare a lot of the people around here. So yes, we're friends."
The answer didn't seem to satisfy Kurenai. "And as my friend, you would never keep a secret from me, right? No matter how big it was and how much you felt like you had to protect yourself?"
"Uh…yes?" Anko couldn't quite figure out where this was going.
"So then why, when Asuma and I were out today, did I see you and Kakashi, together, hugging and holding hands, without any prior knowledge that you two had finally made things official?"
Anko just stared, taking the first track she came across. "Why were you out with Asuma?"
Kurenai blushed. "Not the point, I'm interrogating you right now."
"It is the point though. You're preaching me about keeping secrets, and yet I didn't know you and Asuma—"
"Zip it!" Kurenai snapped. "You can lay into me later, this is my time." Anko snapped her mouth shut quickly. "That's better. Now. You and Kakashi?"
Anko blushed and looked away. "It's…not like that, he was just…ah…"
"I know, I know, you went nuclear on him because you think he should hate you for all the had things that have happened since you got here and you're worried that he's just been forcing himself to spend time with him because he feels sorry for you." Anko raised an eyebrow.
"How long did you follow us for?"
"That's not important."
"It is to me!"
"Just cooperate with me Anko, would you? I don't want to have to find out my information through rumors, that would just be degrading."
"Not to mention impossible because you're always the one who starts the rumors." Kurenai scowled.
"Please. Just tell me, okay, before I go crazy. Are you and Kakashi…?"
Anko glared evenly at Kurenai, who deserved credit for not looking away. "I don't know." The purple-haired girl admitted finally, falling back on the bed. Kurenai stood and walked over, leaning over to look at Anko, bewildered.
"How do you not know if you're going out with someone?" Anko stuck her tongue out at her friend.
"It's…more confusing than you're making it sound." Kurenai sighed.
"Fine, how about this — do you like him?" She paused. "Wait, scratch that. Everyone in Konoha knows you like him—"
It took Anko a moment to wrap her brain around that. "What?!" She shouted finally, bolting up again. Kurenai jumped back, surprised.
"Well yeah…I mean, you never tried to hide it…don't worry it's the same for him, even the adults know you two have a thing for each other, it's kind of pathetic…"
Anko just stared at Kurenai, uncomprehending. "So it's not official yet." The raven-haired girl sighed. "Fine, that's just fine. I'll leave you be now, go take your shower…"
She started to leave. Anko snapped back, realizing something, and jumped up, darting past Kurenai and closing the bedroom door. "Hold it."
Kurenai looked delighted. "Remember something you want to tell me?"
"No, I remembered something I wanted to ask you. You said you and Asuma went out today?" Kurenai nodded, not seeing where this was leading. "So why did I, your friend, not have any prior knowledge of this event?"
Kurenai blushed. "Ah…damn."
Anko grinned evilly. She could put Kakashi in the back of her mind long enough to torture Kurenai.
Author's Note: Fluff next chapter…real fluff, I promise…and a slight cliff hanger. A good one though I assure you, there will be no more death or threat of death in this story…in fact Orochimaru doesn't come back until the epilogue. Oh, and this story will have a happy ending! I wasn't planning one originally, but I'm a bit tired of depressing, so I figured I'd end this one on a good note. All righty, review if you'd be so kind! — Sam