Chapter Nineteen

Aireth's journey home

Aireth swam on her back slowly, to save her energy. She knew all to well that Lucifer would sooner or later discover that she'd left him, but she knew that if she tried to hurry, she'd just exhaust herself all too soon.

After something that felt like an eternity of endless swimming in the icy cold ocean, Aireth suddenly became aware that of dry land which bumped gently against the top of her head. Aireth opened her eyes. She'd been keeping them closed to relax in every way as much as possible. She got up on dried land. Her whole body shook from all the hours in the icy cold water.

After the shaking stopped, she felt how every muscle in her body tightened, making her feel as if she could hardly move. "So this is what it feels like to really be cold." Aireth thought, shaking from head to foot. "I understand now how it felt for Aeris to shiver this uncontrollably." Aireth felt more guilty than ever before. The shivering was about to stop, and the muscles in her body were on the verge of loosening. She raised her head slowly, and started to get up, Aireth tried to stand on her two feet, a difficult feat, as her muscles and her limbs felt as if they'd just been willed out of entropy. "None of this would've happened if I hadn't been so stupid and selfish!" Aireth thought bitterly. Self-anger swelling up inside her. Aireth looked up at the starless, moonless sky. She screamed out aloud to let out her feelings. She screamed and screamed until her throat seared with pain. After awhile, she started coughing. The same thought inside her head all the time: "What have I done, and how could I be stupid enough to do it?" When the coughing stopped, Aireth began to walk. After awhile, she began to run. Despite the fact that she knew she should save her strength. Aireth ran and ran, hoping that she would get home so she could face her punishment. "I'll do anything for them to welcome me back." Aireth thought desperately.

Aireth walked for days. She had neither food nor water with her and she was starting to notice it. Her body felt numb from the lack of food, and her throat had grown thick and dry from the lack of water. Every step she took was a burden to her. But by every step she took, she got closer to her beloved Himitsu Shi on the cratered island of the Northespole. "I was the one who destroyed my birthplace." Aireth thought miserably. The same thought came back into her mind. The only thing she'd been thinking about since she understood what The Lord of Darkness really was. "Why did I release him? And how could I destroy Himitsu Shi!" Aireth couldn't stop thinking about it. She was overwhelmed by the intense feeling of guilt inside her.

The only reason why she didn't commit suicide right there, right then, was because she knew she couldn't rest peacefully as a part of the Lifestream if she her actions wasn't forgiven, or at least until she had asked for forgiveness from her people.

She forced her body to continue walking back to her home.

After a few days of traveling, Aireth reached the grassland with the swamp she had destroyed when she was on her way to Lucifer. She looked at the gigantic crater which used to be the swamp, and down at the grotesque remnants of the gigantic snake down there. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it." Aireth mumbled. She went down into the crater, and climbed over on the other side. When she had reached the other side, she raised her hands and released her Magical Power. For the first time in ages, she used it to heal something. The gigantic crater vanished, and was replaced by the swamp that used to be there. The snake inside it came back to life, and began to swim around in the swamp again. "There. Gomenasai." Aireth turned, and continued her journey.

After weeks of traveling, with mostly just parts of herself to eat, Aireth reached Nibelheim. She saw the ravaged mountain, and the small village standing unharmed in front of it. "Clearly, things have happened here since last time I was here.." Aireth thought. "I wonder if any other of my people has visited this village when they searched for me, as they must be doing. Aireth went over to the gates of Nibelheim. "I wonder if I could ask Tifa and the others to help me." She went over to the house where she knew they lived, and knocked on the door. She heard movement inside, and Cloud opened the door. He stopped dead as he saw Aireth standing in front of him with pleading eyes. She looked as if she hadn't eaten or drunk for days. "You." Cloud managed to whisper after awhile. "Did Tifa tell you about me?" Aireth asked sheepishly. "Why did you come back here?" Cloud asked, his voice was icy cold with hate for the Cetra standing in front of him. He showed no sign of fear, only hate. "I'm trying to get back to my people. To ask them to forgive me." Aireth mumbled. More movement inside the house. Zack and Tifa emerged in the doorway.

Tifa stepped beside Cloud at the sight of the thin and corpse-like Cetra out on the street. "Aireth." She said. The same icy cold voice Cloud had used.

Aireth didn't know what to say. "Have any of my people visited this village?" "What is that to you? You caused Aeris so much unbearable pain." Zack said, stepping beside Tifa.

Aireth started to cry. Tears running down her face in streams. She shaked with hiccoughs. This did nothing to calm Tifa, Cloud or Zack down. "Has A-Aeris been here?" She asked.

Tifa nodded. "She came here searching for you. When she realized what you had done to the Cetra, she made Mountain Nibel come down in her anger. Our village was destroyed by all the falling rocks, but we survived. When we saw Aeris, she restored Nibelheim" Aireth cried even more. Unlike Aeris, she received no love or pity from the people in front of her.

"I h-have to ask her for f-forgiveness" Aireth sobbed. "I want her and my people to w-welcome me b-back." "You made Aeris suffer the way no other Cetra has ever made her suffer before. She didn't tell us this, but I could tell by the way she looked at me." Tifa told her. Aireth sobbed harder than ever. "Did s-she say a-a-anything else?" "What's that to you? You cannot really love her that much if you have it in you to break her heart like that." Cloud said. "G-give me a-another ch-chance to set things right. Tifa, Zack and Cloud looked at each other. "She told us that she had to find you to save you from winding up into even worse bullshit than you were already in." Tifa said after awhile, the tone in her voice a little warmer. Aireth looked at Tifa. "She still believes you are the person she grew up with. If you want anyone to forgive you for what you've done, then Aeris is the one most likely to do it." Cloud told her. "Go to Himitsu and see how it'll go. If you really are Aeris' friend, then you'll come out of it alive." Zack said. "Since we are Aeris' friends, we will help you, but not because we have any love for you or anything." Tifa said in a "don't-get-me-wrong"-sort of voice. Aireth nodded, smiling a little bit. "You look like you've been through some kind of extreme diet or something, so why don't you have something to eat?" Zack asked; suddenly back in his usual cheerful voice. "T-thanks" Aireth replied. The three let her inside.

When Aireth left Nibelheim, she felt much better. Her strength had returned, and she finally felt that someone accepted her, something she hadn't felt in ages. Tifa, Cloud and Zack had even given her a backpack with food and water in it. "Aeris won't want to see you so thin, you know." Cloud had said, handing her a backpack full of food and water. Aireth couldn't thank them enough. "What can I do in return?" She asked, on the verge of tears again. "You can take care of Aeris. She means much to you." Tifa replied, looking Aireth straight into her eyes.

"I will. I can't wait to see her again" Aireth said silently.

Tifa smiled. "You are a Cetra, after all." She said. Aireth was about to explode with happiness as she heard this. No one had told her that since before she left Himitsu Shi the first time.

Aireth went out of the gates of Nibelheim, feeling much lighter than before. And suddenly, an emotion returned to her that she was afraid she'd lost for good. The feeling of intense, indescribable happiness she'd always had before. The light in her eyes had finally returned. She started whistling Cetra lullabies again as she traveled the rest of the journey back to Himitsu Shi. And this time, she didn't feel sad.