Disclaimer: Owning Twilight is a dream that will never come true.

Learning To Fall
A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Fourteen: Less Unforgivable, Part II

I sat there, frozen, the phone glued to my ear by my hand. I couldn't put it down. I felt an instant thrill and scare as his voice repeated my name, growing more urgent and anxious when I didn't respond. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't respond. Finally I just flipped the phone shut on his velvety, entrancing voice.

Why had I even called Edward in the first place? That was a good question, with an answer that I was starting to question myself. My body tingled when I walked like a zombie to Alice's car, as I punched his cell number in my heart starting beating faster and faster. I was so sure as to what I was going to do, but I couldn't trust myself, not with the state my brain was in.

I was going to call Edward and tell him everything I had 'overheard' from Tanya and Carmen's conversation in the grocery store. I was going to tell him every single little detail and give him a chance to let it sink in. Then he would be upset, and break up with Tanya. And then… he and I would finally have a chance to be together.

But who was I kidding? I didn't want Edward to be upset—who wanted the object of their affections to be upset? Edward had liked Tanya for a long time… surely this would bring some disappointment. But he had kissed me. And that kiss made me believe that he loved me more than anything in the world.

I tried to picture how I would break the news to him. But as I pictured it, my plan began to look less and less pretty. How would he take the news, coming from me? I was the other woman now, the very thing that I never wanted to be. I didn't want to be the source to tearing a seemingly happy couple apart. They could take care of themselves.

I felt tears falling from my face, and I frowned in disgust. I was so sick of crying. So sick and tired. Why couldn't anything be right for a change? I knew life wasn't always fair. I didn't want to whine and cry about it all the time, but my emotions were wired to my tear ducts.

Maybe that's how Edward felt about me. Whenever I felt upset or cried about Jacob, he was there for me. But did he truly believe in what he was doing? Was he ever the slightest bit irritated or annoyed that I could never truly get over the pain Jacob had inflicted on me, after all this time?

Edward wouldn't come crying to me after he broke up with Tanya. More so, I didn't want him to. So why did it happen vice versa? I came crying to Edward, but I would feel terrible if he did the same with me. Especially if I was the source. I didn't want to be the rebound girl. But for me, was Edward the rebound guy?

I wiped my tears away from the tissues in the box Alice kept between the seats. I didn't want to ruin the upholstery of her seemingly brand new car. As I checked my face in the rearview mirror, I caught sight of a black-haired woman exiting the store. She was carrying a number of groceries in her hands, and she looked like she was struggling.

What if Helena was carrying a baby? I still couldn't help but wince thinking of Charlie. Nevertheless, this woman could be pregnant, and I didn't want her to be carrying heavy things. I felt bad for anyone who looked like they were struggling. I sighed and my conscience and instincts told me to help her. I got out of the car reluctantly into the drizzle, once again pulling my hood up over my head.

I approached Helena, who now set down the bags looking tired. She was Charlie and my mom's age, for sure. But her tired face made her look older. "Can I help you?" I asked, keeping my tone casual. I gesturing to the bags she had set on the ground. Helena looked at me with her dark eyes. I didn't know if she could see my face properly, what with the darkness of the clouds.

She smiled. "I would like that, thank you very much for your offer." I picked up a few of her bags, leaving her to carry only one. "My car is that one," she said, gesturing to a car that I didn't know the name of. Despite the efforts of Edward and Rosalie, who tried to teach me the various car names, I barely remembered any and didn't want to bother.

I walked beside her, looking straight at her car. I held the bags, watching where I was stepping in fear that I would trip and the bags and their contents would go flying all over the place. I tried to shake a piece of hair in my face away as she opened her car. But first, she set her bags down and looked at me.

"Thank you so much," she said in her soft voice.

"It's not a problem, really," I replied, hoping that I could just put the bags in her trunk and walk away. I wasn't really in the mood for small talk.

"You know, Bella, I've always wanted to meet you," Helena said, surprising me. How could she tell who I was? Charlie wasn't one to talk about anyone else in detail. I quickly averted my eyes from Helena, realizing I had the same eyes as Charlie. Was that really enough to give me away, though?

I didn't know how to respond, so Helena continued. "I feel terrible about what's happened, Bella, so please forgive me. Charlie just wants what's best for you. He doesn't want you to be unhappy, so we've decided to take a break. We'd like to pick things up again once everything is worked out." She put a hand on my shoulder. I almost flinched, as if she had tasered me. "Please come back home, Bella. Please let Charlie know as soon as you're ready."

Helena's voice was oddly soothing, and as much as I wanted to be angry at her for saying 'please come back home' as if she were my mother, I couldn't. After all, she was making Charlie happy, right? I wanted what was the best for him too.

So Helena and Charlie were on a 'break', even though she thought she was pregnant? That I didn't understand, but I suddenly felt terrible for being the source.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my eyes watering with tears. Helena gave me a comforting smile. "Don't be. I know everything came as a quite a shock, but I hope you can give me a chance." With that, she swiftly put her groceries in the car and drove away, just as Alice came dancing out of the store, receipt in hand, Marcus pushing the cart behind her. He looked neither amused nor annoyed.

"Hi, Bella! Who was that?" Alice asked me cheerfully. "I saw you talking to a woman just now, while I was paying." I shook my head and smiled at Alice. "Charlie's girlfriend." Alice's mouth dropped open. "What happened?"

"Nothing really," I said as Alice opened the trunk and Marcus started to load groceries inside. As Alice and I helped him, Alice raised her eyebrow at me. "You can tell me later. But guess who I saw in the grocery store?"

"Who?"

"Tanya. She was with Carmen, one of her friends who live in Seattle," Alice said, and for once, it sounded as if she weren't cheerful. We finished loading the groceries, and Marcus gave us a two-fingered salute and slouched back to the store. As we got in the Porsche, Alice continued.

"Tanya and Carmen gave me a look and asked if I was seeing anyone new," Alice frowned, her voice dark now. "As if. Tanya knows damn well how much I love Jasper. And even worse, they indicated as if they thought I was with Marcus." She shuddered, shaking her head. "I wouldn't go out on a date with him if my life depended on it. He's pretty much bored all the time, and don't even get me started on the people he hangs around with…"

I let Alice ramble on until she said something that perked my interest. "I wish Tanya and Edward would just break up already," she mumbled, as if she were ashamed to say it. "Tanya thinks she's all innocent, but believe me, under those strawberry-blond locks is a mind of evil." I burst out laughing. Alice rolled her eyes.

I wanted to tell Alice about Tanya's urge to break up with Edward, but I couldn't. The words home wrecker flashed through my brain. "I wish Edward would just get with you already." I opened my mouth in protest, but Alice interrupted me quickly. "It's pretty clear that you and Edward had a little make-out session last night."

I gaped at her in horror. "Alice… how did… what…" The corners of Alice's mouth twitched as she gauged my expression. "Did you see the way you sprinted upstairs after I told you Edward was on the roof?" My cheeks turned red and I looked away, immediately serious.

"Nothing happened," I murmured. Alice sighed. "You need to stop sounding like a broken record. It's not doing anyone any good." I was silent for a moment, knowing that Alice's words weren't meant to be as harsh as I took them.

"I'm not encouraging that you continue this, Bella," Alice said sternly. "But it's quite obvious that you and Edward have some sort of connection…" I stared at her patiently, waiting for her to continue. "I mean, there's an electrifying chemistry, some sort of unexplained intense feelings when the two of you are in the same room. Jasper talked to me about it. He has an uncanny knack of feeling emotions. And even I can feel it too. But it seems like there's no possible way of a resolution, not with Tanya in the picture." Alice looked away from me, out the window. "And nothing's going to happen to her."

I pressed my head against the window. "I know." What I didn't know was the way I would act with Edward around when I saw him next. Surely this would put a strain on our relationship. How long would we be able to keep the illusion of friendship? And at that very moment, I realized that we couldn't just stay friends. Something was bound to happen, and it already did. It just wasn't the right time, place, or situation.

-

On the way home, I thought up of a resolution, even though Alice said there was no possible way. It didn't involve Edward, but it involved me. It was a quiet drive, but not the least uncomfortable or awkward. Alice seemed absorbed in her own thoughts as well. I was still in deep thought as Alice pulled into the driveway, Emmett and Jasper ready on the porch to help unload.

Emmett touched me lightly on the shoulder as Jasper went to greet Alice at her car. "Rosalie seems really angry at the moment. It's probably because of me and what happened the night before, but she's always been angry at me. But she seems really intent on showing it today, so look out," Emmett warned me. I nodded, still caught up in my own thoughts and headed inside.

Maybe I wouldn't have to exclude Edward… maybe this was possible in a way…

I walked hesitantly inside the house, keeping an eye out for Edward. As I headed into the living room, I heard the faint sounds of a piano playing upstairs. It was unlike Edward to play so lightly, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear. I sighed and decided to head back out to help them carry the groceries inside.

As I went back to the front door, I had a feeling that someone was watching me. I shuddered and turned around instinctively, and sure enough, Rosalie was standing there. Her arms were crossed and her gorgeous face wasn't the least bit friendly.

"Um, hi, Rosalie…" I said, uncertain, trying to break the sudden ice created between us.

"Bella… can I talk to you for a moment?" Rosalie asked me, her tone every bit as serious as her face. My stomach tied up in knots. What was this about?

Then it dawned on me. I had the sudden feeling that I knew what this was all about…

I followed Rosalie into the kitchen where she leaned against the counter, her arms still crossed. Panic instantly entered my system, making my heartbeat race twice as fast as usual.

"Listen Rosalie, I'm really sorry—" I said in a hushed whisper, my voice strained. I had to get my story out before she started. In the time I'd gotten to know Rosalie, it seemed like the other side of a person's side of the story didn't affect her opinion of them.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Bella," Rosalie hissed, her face making it clear she was angry at me. "How could you? Of all the ridiculous things you could do, you decided to—"

I was getting angry myself now. How could she think that I actually decided to have Emmett spill the truth about the two of them to me? I was looking out for him. I didn't want to have him lose his job over the way he was acting, the aftermath to what they did…

"I didn't decide anything, Rose," I replied, furious now. "I didn't have a choice. It came out of nowhere, and I couldn't just ignore him or run away!"

"Like it wasn't so easy to just tell him no or stop…"

"I didn't even know where things were going to go!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide in disbelief. Was Rosalie actually shouting at me for what Emmett did? Not that I wanted Emmett to be on worse terms with Rosalie than he already was…

"So things went somewhere?" Rosalie gasped, and her face turned into disbelief as well. "I can't believe this… I never knew you were that kind of person, Bella Swan… and I can't believe that… Edward…"

"Edward?" I asked, confused. Wait, what? What was she talking about? Were we really talking about the same thing? Edward? And then my eyes widened slowly in realization. Edward. She knew everything.

"Who did you think I was talking about?" She asked me suspiciously as I staggered back, almost tripping over one of the chair legs. "N-No one," I whispered. Shock spread across her face as she tried to fit together the pieces. She turned around, her breathing heavy as she contemplated. Then she spun around to face me, her face a mixture of upset and lividness.

"You wouldn't happen to be talking about Emmett, would you?" Her voice smoothly interrogated me, making me force to confess. Needless to say, I didn't lie well. "No, what about him?" I choked out.

"I can't believe this. Emmett told you, didn't he?" Rosalie hissed. "I knew he wouldn't be able to keep this secret. Did you tell anyone?" I shook my head slowly in response.

"So now you know. But what's all this with Edward, hmm? You think that you can just weasel your way through the group without any of us noticing—" I laughed a shocked, startled laugh. Rosalie had a flair for the dramatic. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to reciprocate.

"Weaseling my way through the group? No, Rosalie. I suppose it's just Edward. But how would you know anything that's going on, what with you spending all your time with—" I knew I was being rude now, and it was unusual for me. But this sudden elation for expressing all my thoughts was worth it.

"Don't. Don't even say that, Bella. I saw you," Rosalie said, her tone abrupt and accusing. "I saw you last night on the roof with Edward. Obviously you two were… too busy to see Greg pull up into the driveway. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have two people you know publicly displaying unfaithfulness?"

"I guess I would," I shot back, and the blood rushed from her face. I instantly regretted what I said, but her expression turned unforgivable toward me, and there was no point.

"So you don't feel bad at all for what you're doing? Think about Tanya and Edward!" My eyes watered as I made a mental picture in my head of what Rosalie was probably thinking.

"How about you? Think about what you're doing, Rosalie," my words were a strained whisper now, and I feared they didn't have as much power as I hoped they would. "Think about Greg's wife. Has she ever done anything to you? And he has a kid, for goodness sake!"

"I could say the same about you. Face it; we're both in the same situation. Yours is just worse than mine," she hissed. I could tell she was trying to convince me that way; unfortunately, it didn't work. It was clear who had the worse scenario.

And that was it. My face hardened into a frozen expression, staring at back at her. At that moment, Rosalie was no longer the most beautiful girl in my eyes. I could never, ever say that she was ugly, but suddenly, being her was less than desirable.

"The difference between you and me, Rosalie, is that unlike you, I've opened my eyes. I'm going for what's right in front of me, someone who wants me just as much as I want him. Do you think Greg's ever going to leave his wife? Even after telling you he would, he still hasn't done it. You can keep lying to yourself if you want. But I know for a fact that someone is waiting for you. He's loved you for a long time and you choose to ignore it. You chose to stay with someone who can only love you half the time, when another guy is willing to give all of him to you." I needed to get that off my chest. It was like my inner voice came out and took over my body. I felt a hysterical laughter burst through my lips. The dizzying sensation nearly caused me to stumble and fall as tears clouded my vision.

I can only faintly remember Rosalie's astonished look on her face. She sunk to the ground, covering her face in her hands, as I ran from the kitchen, my heart pounding. I pushed through the door, knowing that Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were standing there in shock. I heard the rustle of a plastic grocery shopping bad as my leg made contact with it. I pushed past the open screen door into the fresh, clean air.

It felt good to breathe it in, but not enough to stop crying. And then it suddenly hurt to breathe. I was gasping now. My thoughts started to clear a little. I thought about my last departing words to Rosalie. Did I really believe Edward was going to just break up with Tanya and love me as a whole? No; it would take time for him to heal, as it did for me with Jacob. But that led me to deeper questions. Had the wounds from Jacob even healed yet?

Edward had only kissed me when he loved me incompletely. He was still attached to Tanya. He liked her for so long.

I could do nothing but hope. I continued to run as I thought about how I told Rosalie that I've opened my eyes. Had I really? My questions were only half-answered. I wanted to believe that Edward loved me as much as I felt he did when he kissed me.

Would I ever be able to find out? I felt like I couldn't go back to that house, to face them all. I could imagine the looks on Alice's, Jasper's, Emmett's, Rosalie's, and even Edward's faces as they found out about what had exploded between me and Rosalie. They knew her better than they knew me; of course they would choose sides. I didn't want sides. I didn't ever anticipate something like this to happen. Alice was usually good at predicting these kinds of situations, but even this was something she couldn't predict.

This was unfortunate, because I wasn't prepared for what Rosalie had thrown at me. I loved each and every one of them in their own special way. After the consequences of our actions, we all exposed parts of ourselves that no one had ever seen. Emmett, his secret longing for a real love; Alice, her fear that she would ruin Jasper no matter how much she loved him; Jasper, wanting to breaking away from all the expectations his family had given him and do what he wanted to do…

And I still loved them all. I say this as if I had known them well before everything had been revealed. But strangely enough, it felt like I really did.

Would they love me, and more importantly, Edward, after what we had done? I didn't want them to turn into strangers again. I had had enough strangers in my life, including myself.

I kept running to nowhere, until I finally realized where my legs were taking me—to my unfamiliar new house. I ran past the trees until the quaint house came into view. I stopped in front of my house, catching my breath. I was never an athlete—no doubt that this short run would be difficult for me. I didn't care if Charlie or Helena would be able to see me.

As soon as my pulse had slowed some, I looked up into the front lawn at the house. I stared into the window, the curtains drawn and all doors shut. My gut feeling told me that they weren't home—I checked the driveway, and sure enough, Charlie's police cruiser was absent.

My feet did not want to stop. I immediately made my way up the driveway and onto the porch. I silently prayed that Charlie had kept his old key-hiding spots. Sure enough, I felt in one of the hanging flower pots the familiar garage key. I smiled a tiny smile—this small feeling of joy was not enough to dispel the current situation.

I grabbed the key and jumped off the steps. I went to the garage and unlocked it. My eyes filled with renewed tears as I saw the covered vehicle inside. I threw it off to reveal my massive, red, old truck. I wished it were a person—I would've hugged it. Nevertheless, I touched it in amazement, to see if it were actually there. I felt a small pang of doubt that our reunion was only bittersweet.

I got in, and as usual, the vehicle thundered to life, creating a noise that was familiar yet startling, since I hadn't heard it in a long time. I cringed and hoped that the neighbors wouldn't mind, and hopefully, wouldn't notice. I didn't care if Charlie or Helena panicked at the sight of the garage opened. I didn't care if they thought that the truck was stolen. That was an ill thought—of course, with the sound of my truck; it would be obvious to catch the crook if it had been stolen in the first place.

The truck was slow. I felt hurt to have such a thought enter my mind—I was so used to driving Rosalie's or Alice's cars, or riding in a fast car because of the driver. I pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, not sure of where I was going. Maybe I could wait a little before going back to the house and packing my stuff. But where would I go?

The timing was only too perfect. The situation was enough to get me running back to Charlie—and I was sure he would only be too happy to let me in. I considered this. I took a deep breath as I drove slowly through the streets. Yes, Bella. You're ready. I swallowed as I realized how much I missed Charlie. Helena or no Helena, I wanted to be part of his life again.

-

I pulled up to the curb on a random street, not too far from the boarding house or Charlie's. The streets were dark, barely illuminated by the few street lamps, and the trees provided more darkness than I was comfortable with. Nevertheless, I stayed in the truck, not thinking of the future, not thinking of anything.

And then he silently opened the door, sliding into the passenger's seat. I froze in shock. I didn't see him, and I didn't know it was him. I did not scream, although I was pretty close before I heard his voice.

"Bella."

"How'd you find me?"

"It wasn't that difficult in a town this big." I closed my eyes. I didn't know exactly what I would say next. We sat there in silence, in the dark. I flicked the light on and turned to look at him. As usual, he looked amazing, like a male model.

"Why are you here?" I whispered. It was needless to say that I felt greedy. I wanted him to say that he was here because he loved me. But how could he when his heart belonged to another?

"I'm here because I love you."

-

You guys are just about ready to kill me, huh? Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I didn't expect my little story to become such a hit with you guys. I couldn't ask for more or better support! Ah, so school has started, and I'll try to update as much as I can. I was anticipating that this would be a summer story, but I got further behind schedule than I planned. Oh well Thanks for reading.

New Poll: I hope you've all read Breaking Dawn, because my poll question is about a certain character in the book. It's one of the two final questions to complete the outline of my next fic! Please vote!