"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Riley couldn't believe what he saw.
"Why are our beds pushed together, why am I handcuffed, and why the hell am I wearin' this gay ass shirt, Grandad?!"
"I told you not to mess up my damn house, so now you can't."
"This is messed up Grandad, how are we gonna get to school?"
"Just the way you are now"
And for the first time in his life, Riley was actually speechless. Huey was even surprised.
"Oh, I get it, this some trick played by X-zibit since we hustled him fo' da car. All right Ashton Kutcher, you can come out now, 'cause I don't like being punk'd.
"No, Riley this is real. And Grandad, this some old bullsh-"
"AWW HELL NAW!!! Grandad, you one messed up old man! I ain't goin' to school like this!"
And with a short scuffle and some swearing, Grandad got them out of the house and locked the door. They quickly ran to hide, but ran into Ruckus instead. Now usually, Ruckus would find something about this to degrade black people, but this time, he just looked at Riley and shook his head.
"I told Robert not to let you hang with that chocolate monkey Gangstalicious. I guess it's too late… but Huey, why would you degrade yourself like this. I know niggas can't be this dumb-"
BAM! Just one swift kick to the head by Huey took him out cold.
"Quick, Riley. Let's see if Caesar can get it off. It's only about an hour before school starts."
(Now if you read the comics, Caesar says he wants to be a mad scientist. So we're just going to assume he has a chemistry set for this story)
DING-DONG. "Hey Freemans, what's up- WHAT IN THE HELL?"
"Look Caesar, me and Riley had a fight and messed up the house-"
"Again?"
By now Riley started to get upset. "Nigga, hush! Just get your chemistry set and see if you can melt these rings and handcuffs."
So they went upstairs and Caesar poured some weird blue liquid on the rings.
"What is this stuff, Caesar. It feels even harder than before."
"Relax, Afro. I got this"
"You better, nigga, 'cause I ain't going to school lookin' like a bitch."
Unfortunately, Riley would have to, because the liquid only hardened the rings even more. They tried everything. They hammered it, they sawed on it, they even chewed on it, but it never even cracked.
"Maybe Jazmine's tea could rust it and make it collapse."
They took Caeser's advice and went to Jazmine's
DING-DONG. "Hey there, boys…Well, nice to see you and Riley are getting along better Huey, but isn't this a little extreme?"
"I don't have time for this Mr. Dubois. Where is Jazmine?"
Uhh, upstairs in her room. But you better hurry, because she and Cindy are walking to school together and Cindy's on the way over here-"
"Aw hell naw, I can't let ma girl see me like this."
"Now Riley, you know your Grandad doesn't approve of that language", but the boys were already knocking on Jazmine's door.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Hey guys, how's it... WHAT IN THE WORLD!"
"Jazmine, no time to explain. Please just poor some tea on these rings and free us."
Jazmine was getting her tea pot and chuckled a little.
"What's so funny?"
"C'mon Caesar, tell me you didn't laugh?"
"Jazmine, please just hurry up."
"You know Huey, you're very pushy for a boyfriend."
DING! "Okay, the tea's done, now come here and let me pour it on you."
She poured it and some of it got on their hands. Huey just winced a little, but Riley was screaming like a woman in labor, and fell on her bed
"Damn, Jaz! How hot is that?"
"Just stay still!"
Jazmine got on the bed and held a pot over it and poured the tea again. Riley just jerked again.
"Stay still Riley!"
She now was sitting on his waist trying to pour the tea. If you didn't know they were struggling, you'd think that they were grinding on each other since Riley's head was blocking the view of the tea pots.
"You know, I don't think Huey wants you grinding on his brother, Jazmine" Caesar said before laughing hysterically. "and I think Cindy wouldn't like that either", he now couldn't stop laughing until all three yelled:
"SHUT UP CAESAR!"
"Come on Riley!" Jazmine yelled, and she actually sounded like she was making love
"RILEY FREEMAN!"
Everyone turned to see the loud lady in the doorway, and everyone was even more surprised to see Cindy looking mad as hell.
"Jazmine, how could you?!" The poor girl slowly leaking tears. Jazmine quickly got off of Riley, but Cindy stormed off. They all ran after her.
"Cindy, wait!"
"What, Riley? You want to tell me how you and my supposed best friend got it on? And what the hell is up with your shirts?!"
"Cindy, I was trying to pour tea over the cuffs to melt it. But Riley kept squirming 'cause the tea burned him."
"But then why-" but before she could answer, Grandad and Mr. Petto rolled up on the driveway in Dorothy.
"Just to make sure everyone gets to school, I took the liberty of escorting you all."
Grandad put on a sick smile after seeing his plan fall perfectly into place. Everyone started running like they saw a ghost, but Mr. Petto was prepared.
"Everyone better get into the car, or all of you will fail today's test."
And just like that, everyone froze and said the same line in their heads:
This old man must have lost his mind.
But lucky for them, Thugnificient , Macktastic, and Flownominal pulled up in a brand new Hummer. Thugnificient rolled down the window and yelled t them,
"Reezy, what in the hell are you wearing?"
Without question, everyone jumped into the huge van.
"Hey, what are y'all-"
"JUST DRIVE!"
They drove in silence out of the Woodcrest suburbs until Macktastic finally uttered the first words.
"I can't believe we got carjacked by some teenagers, man."