A/N: Well, here it is, chapter two of Marriage of Convenience. Back by popular demand! I took Stormgirl415's advice and listened to "mood music" as I typed. So now, my mood music consists of several forms of the Man from UNCLE theme, CaramellDansen, several selections from the Powerpuff Girls Soundtrack and David McCallum singing "Hava Nagila." Don't ask. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! This is for all of you who reviewed (and nagged me on the Forums. ^_^)

Stormy, I answered your question this chapter, about how Imperiex and Empress get on the planet. The Bloodless Butterfly, I changed the category, Lady P, Brainy's a robot since this is sometime during the 2nd season. And that answers Cleome45's question. If there are no more questions . . . let the story begin!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Time Lass and Tundra Lad, (and the embelishments to the plot. Even the origninal plot isn't mine! ^_^)

Act Two: " . . . double-o soul . . ."

The young woman at the check in desk sighed. Already her day had seemed . . . . eternally long. So many honeymooning couples, not to mention the fact that Imperiex and the woman known as Emerald Empress had shown up. You can't really turn away someone with that much power and the insanity to use it. Well, you could try, but that would be akin to suicide, so she had not quarreled when they had shown up. The sound of someone clearing their throat brought her out of her thoughts.

"Welcome to Resortia, the world of happily ever after!" she began cheerfully, before she caught sight of the couple before her. The woman had long dark hair, not too unusual, but the man, tall and almost completely covered, stared at her from under a wide-brimmed had pulled low over his eyes. It was all she could do to keep from shuddering at the intensity of those golden eyes. "Do you have a reservation?"

The woman laughed. "Of course. Look under Londo. Brin and Tinya." The young woman at the desk nodded, and found it fairly quickly.

"All right, please sign in here," she said, gesturing to the book in front of her. The woman took the pen and wrote their names in the slot that the woman at the desk had pointed to. "Thank you!" she said, her cheerfulness feeling a bit forced. The couple nodded then walked off, the woman smiling, the man . . . . . well, who could tell if he was smiling? The woman behind the counter shook her head. It wasn't her place to criticize, but . . . they sure got some wierd couples through here. Oh well, they say love is blind. After having worked here for a few months, she wasn't about to question that.

--L--

Tinya sighed, brushing a hand through her long black hair. "Well, that's over, finally." Timberwolf beside her growled softly.

"It's not over until we're out of here.'

"I meant the trip and checking in," Tinya replied. "Now we can get to work." Taking a seat on one of the benches nearby, she pulled out the data tablet that she had stashed in her bags. "We're supposed to be spying on them, along with Chuck, Lornu and the TL's. Querl, Salu, Imra and Garth are going to look for whatever Imperiex is really after." She switched it off and slid it back into her bag. "Let's stash our stuff and go look for Imperiex!" She stood, taking her bags and took a step towards Brin, intending to link her arm with his. However, the hirstute teen began walking away. She frowned, and followed behind.

"Here we are," Brin said, taking a key card from his pocket and unlocking the door. He took a few steps inside, then paused and held the door for Tinya. She gave him a smile as she entered, then walked over to the bed and set her bags down on it. Brin followed suit, and turned back to the door. "Let's get going. Imperiex could . . ."

"No." Brin blinked at Tinya's response. He turned to see her standing with her pale arms crossed over her chest. "Part of our mission is to blend in. You're doing a horrible job, Brin."

"What do you mean . . .?" he asked, puzzled. Tinya pouted slightly, her 'injured princess' look.

"We're supposed to be a married couple. Newlyweds to be exact. And you're acting like you can't stand the sight of me! You walk away, you don't even make an effort to hold my hand or anything!" She looked at him, her dark eyes sad. "Do you really hate me that much?" For added effect, she managed to get her lower lip to tremble.

Brin sighed. This was not his area of expertise. Why on earth had Brainy chosen him to escort her? Not to mention he never quite knew how to handle Phantom Girl. Something about her . . . unnerved him. So he pushed her away, and tried to keep his own distance from her. And somehow, it never worked. "I . . . don't hate you," he replied softly. Tinya smiled, and ran over, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. Brin's proximity alert went off, but he forced himself to relax. He had to make this look good, or he knew that not only would Brainy would have his head, he's probably never hear the end of it. So, he forced his muscles to relax and enjoy it.

--L--

"It's been an hour and a half, and still no sign of Imperiex," Illya grumbled from his poolside seat. He had decided against swimming along with Philipette, since his control still wasn't perfect, not to mention the fact that he really didn't like wearing a half ton of sunscreen. With the warm tropical feeling of the twin suns overhead, he'd be lobster pink in no time. And sunburns were one of his worst foes. Philipette leaned on the edge of the pool, brushing a wet strand out of her face.

"Relax, dear. It may not be a huge planet, but it's large enough for him to hide for a while. Besides, we have eight other people looking for him. We'll find him soon enough." Illya sighed, then readjusted his glasses. He returned his attention to the book in front of him.

"Well, well, well, you certainly meet all kinds here," a woman's voice said behind him.

"What does it matter? We were in love!" replied a familiar voice. Illya turned his head slightly, catching a glimpse of a dark haired woman. Tinya Wazzo, he thought.

"Well, that's all right, if you like tall, dark and handsome sheepdogs," the other woman sniped. A low growl came from Brin, and Illya closed his book, smelling trouble. With Timberwolf's temper, only problems could come from this. He placed the book on the table beside him, ready to spring into action if needed.

"Please, he's very sensitive about that . . ." Tinya pleaded, but the woman only laughed.

"I'd think that insults would only bounce off that fur coat!" a man's voice said, then laughed. Illya was all ready to jump up and defuse the situation when he felt something hit his lounge chair. The next thing he conciously knew, he was flying through the air and plunging right towards the middle of the pool.

"Michaelovitch!" Philipette screamed, watching him disappear underwater. Seconds later, she had dove under water, racing to the aid of her 'husband.' By the time she resurfaced with him, Brin had stormed off, dragging Tinya with him. Philipette dragged Illya over to the side of the pool, where he hung off the side, sputtering and coughing.

"Are you all right?" Philipette asked, her voice honestly concerned.

Illya coughed again, spewing a mouthful of pool water. "Absolutely peachy, if you ignore the fact that I wasn't expecting a dunking." He hoisted himself up and out, water from his clothing creating a large puddle around his feet. "I believe I will return to the room and change." Thankfully he noted, his wig and mustache hadn't come free during his dip. That would have been hard to explain. Rubbing his eyes to clear them and looking mournfully at his wet glasses, Illya headed back to his rooms.

--L--

Garth Ranzz breathed in the spice-sented air and smiled. The brochures for this place were right, it was practically paradise. Still, there was the fact that no one had yet seen Imperiex. Maybe he was just paranoid, but he so wanted a crack at that creep who had trashed their headquarters. Crud, I'm sounding like Kell, he grumbled to himself. At that moment, he heard a slight beeping. He pulled out a slender pen, uncapped the top, placed the top on the other end, and extended the long antenna from the cap. "Yeah, what is it?" he asked.

"Have you found anything yet, Garth?" Brainy's voice asked. Garth shook his head, even though he knew that Brainy couldn't see it.

"Nope. No sign yet. It makes me edgy," Garth admitted. "I mean, we should have seen him or something."

"Not necessarily. He could be anywhere, including in his rooms. In that case, we may not see him. But I managed to get a glimpse at the sign-in sheet, and there was definitely an 'Imperiex' listed. So, he's here, and so is the Empress."

"Well, that's good to know," Imra replied, over her own communicator. "So, any news from the others?"

"Apparently Brin hit someone for calling him a sheepdog, and ended up dunking Illya. Needless to say, I don't believe they're talking to each other." Imra covered a smile at the thought of the meticulous, serious Russian getting dunked, while Garth burst out laughing.

"I would have seriously paid to see that!" Garth laughed.

"Well, from what I could glean from Philipette and Tinya, it was indedd humorous," Brainy replied. "Not much from Lornu and Chuck. It seems their day has been fairly uneventful."

"Ours has too," Imra replied. "You know, I think we'll head to supper. Maybe we'll see them there."

"Good plan. I believe Salu and I will join you. I will inform the others to rondevous with us there. Ending communication." The line went silent and Garth and Imra put the communicator pens away.

"Well, shall we eat?" Garth asked, holding his arm out for Imra. She gave him a small smile, then placed her hand on his arm, and the two walked off, arm in arm.

--L--

"Well, this was a thouroughly unproductive day," Illya groaned, peeling off the mustache and wig in the privacy of the room he was sharing with Philipette. "No sign of Imperiex, not even a glimpse of the Eye of Ekron, I ended up taking an unscheduled swim and to top it all off . . ." he stifled a sneeze with his coat sleeve, "I believe I am catching a cold."

Time Lass patted his head gently. "You'll get over it. Besides, last time I checked, the common cold wasn't deadly."

"I never said it . . ." he sneezed again, "was . . ." He groaned. "I do not think I shall forgive that furball for this."

Philipette had disappeared behind a folding screen at the other end of the room. "Oh come on, Illusha-darling, what would you do if it were Napoleon who had knocked you in?"

Illya loosened his tie and removed it. "Probably would have tossed him in after I caught him." He smiled slightly at the thought of his womanizing friend, soaking wet and sputtering. He could tell that Philipette had found it funny as well, if her laughter was any judge. He pulled a pair of pale blue pajamas out his suitcase. "If you need me, I shall be on the couch in the living room." Before the door shut, Philipette could hear a loud sneeze, and a groan from her Russian friend.

The young Time Lady shook her head and continued changing into her pajamas, then climbed into the large bed, a book in her hand. Before she knew it, however, she had fallen asleep, the book in her hand.

----

And that's it for this time! I hope you enjoyed! If you enjoyed, tell me. I love your reviews! As a side note, the title for this chapter, "Double-o Soul" is from the 1965? Hulabaloo which was hosted by "Illya Kuryakin" (David McCallum) and he sang this song at the end. It's very funny, check it out on Youtube! I hope this chapter placated you Phantom Wolf people!