We ignored each other for the next few weeks. He didn't pair me with him even once for any of the assignments. I knew I should talk to him about my counseling, but I just didn't know what I would say. The team was broken up. Eckile was asking everyone about Grissom's ability to supervise. I was mad at Grissom, but he was a great boss. I told Ecklie that I updated Grissom about my counseling. I also said I did have a conversation with him, which I technically did.
Eckile decided to break up the team anyway. Catherine was promoted to Swing Shift Supervisor and Nick and Warrick would report to her. Greg had finally passed his proficiency, so Greg, Curtis, and me would report to Grissom.
I needed to talk to Grissom. I was at his door.
I knocked on his office door.
"Hi," I said as I walked into his office.
He was probably doing paperwork. He took off his glasses.
"You got a minute?"
"Sure," he said surprised.
"I know we haven't had a chance to talk since the staff changes," I said sitting down. It has been longer, but I didn't want to mention the last time we talked.
"I... I wanted to let you know that I said some things to Ecklie that might have done the team a disgrace."
" He wanted to break up the team and he did," he reassuring me that it wasn't my fault.
"He asked me if you and me had our Post-PEAP counseling session," I told him.
"And we didn't regardless, you should never have to cover for your boss. I'm sorry."
He has been apologizing a lot, I thought.
"You have always been a little more than a boss to me…. Why do you think I moved to Vegas?"
He was getting uncomfortable. I was rambling again, and he had no idea what I was talking out.
"Look I know our relationship has been complicated. It's probably my fault. It's probably definitely my fault," I told him trying to apologize in a way.
"You completed your counseling right?"
"Yea, yes," I said reassuring him.
"And?"
"Let's just say that…" I was looking for the right words to put it.
"Sometimes I look for validation in inappropriate places," I said right out with it.
He knew exactly what I was talking about.
"Look…. Let's umm," he trying to find his words.
I didn't want to force. He was going to ask me to go out with him on a date, and I stopped him.
"It's ok ….You know what? We did our session. Don't forget to document this for Ecklie," I said getting up.
"Right," he said looking hurt.
"Thanks," I told him walking out.
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I was paired off with Catherine on a domestic violence case. Catherine and me hadn't been on good terms, and I blew up on here.
We were walking through halls of the lab when I told how I felt after the interrogation.
"All I'm asking is to have black and white to regular welfare checks."
"Did the wife ask for help?"
How could she I thought?
"Well, that's kind of hard when you don't speak English and you're a sex slave. I'm sure she doesn't know her rights."
"You can't arrest someone for marrying the wrong person."
I knew I shouldn't be insubordinate, but I was pissed at Catherine.
"You would know," I told her.
She was pissed by the look she just gave me.
"If the guy is a abuser, if he killed his first wife, we will build a case and nail him," she said.
"And in the mean time he can just keep using her as a punching bag."
"Sara I was there. There wasn't a mark on her. "
"Not that we could see Catherine."
She raises her hands in defense. She knew she wouldn't change my mind. We came to a stop.
"You know every time we get a case with a hint of domestic violence or abuse, you go off the deep end. What is your problem?"
"And yea I probably do, and you go and let your sexuality cloud your judgement on men, and I'm going to go over your head," I said getting loud.
"Sidle," I heard someone from the side say.
I turned my head. Ecklie.
"Get in my office now."
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I went to Ecklie's office with him following. He closed the door behind us. He went to sit in front of his desk.
"You are a law enforcement officer and a representative of this city that means I expect you to conduct yourself in a appropriate manner, in and away from this lab," he said.
"You know what? If this is going to be one of your good for lab speeches don't bother I've heard them," I said angry.
"Just take a seat. Willows is a supervisor that mans you treat her with respect, insulting her in front of co-workers."
I stood. I was shaking my head the whole time while he was looking for a file.
"She is not my supervisor."
"All right your superior. Sara you've aerate witnesses, you disrespect the people you've worked with you, luck your way out of a DUI. Take a look you've got a half a dozen complaints in your jacket. And if Grissom really documented your performance, there would probably be a dozen more, that's not the kind of person I want in my lab."
"Th only reason this is your lab," I put a emphasize on your lab "Is because Grissom doesn't kiss ass. You couldn't hack your way in the field, so you fail your way up. You break up our team and now you just hang out in the hallways waiting for us to screw up," I say loudly and pissed off as ever.
"Sidle your on one week suspension without pay."
"Great."
"And when you get back your apologizing to Catherine."
"No I'm not," I said shaking my head and walking out.
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I went straight to my fridge and got a beer. I needed something to settle down my nerves. I was writing my resignation while listening to music because I knew I was getting fired, so why not beat them to the punch I was drinking a beer at the same time so my emotions were running wild.
I heard knocking on the door.
Couldn't I ever have some time to myself?
I went to open the door with my beer in the other hand as I opened the door.
"Well if you're here it can't be good," I said grimacing as I faced Grissom.
"Can I come in?"
He always asked. He probably came to fire me.
I opened the door.
"Want to ask me if I'm drunk?" I said holding up the beer for him to see.
"We both know that's not your problem."
We both did know. He was here when we found that out.
I closed the door after he walked in. He faced me.
"I spoke to Catherine."
"Eckile."
"He wants me to fire you," he said sounding sad.
"I figured. Can I get you anything?"
"Sure, an explanation."
"I lost my temper," I told him walking away.
"That seems to be happening quite a bit. Do you know why?"
I needed to get some space.
"What difference does it make? I'm still fired."
"It makes a difference to me. "
Well let's see.
"I have a problem with authority. I choose men that are emotionally unavailable," I said waving my hand in front of him. I hope he hurts.
"I'm self destructive All of the above. "
"Have you ever gone a weak without a rationalization?"
"From the big chill, one of the characters explaining the basic factors of life that rationalization are more important to us then sex even, " he told me explaining.
Well… I couldn't say that.
"I am not rationalizing anything. I crossed the line with Catherine. and I was insubordinate to Ecklie."
"Why?"
"Leave it alone," I whispered.
He didn't need to know. For once couldn't he just leave it alone.
"No, Sara."
"What do you want from me?"
I was throwing his words back at him.
"I want to know why are you so angry."
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I was sitting on the couch with my knees up against my body and my arms around them. I was helpless.
He sat across from me.
"It's funny the things you remember and don't. There was a smell of iron in the air…. Cast off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop, who puked his guts. I don't remember the one who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange because I couldn't let go of her hand."
"Well the mind has it filters," he told me.
"I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do you think there is a murder gene?"
"I don't believe the genes are predictor of violent behavior."
"You wouldn't know that it my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way everyone lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't," I told him finally breaking down and crying in front of him.
He put my hand in his and held it.
He came and sat on the couch with me and held me. I leaned against him. I just confessed my darkest secret to him. I confined in him.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that. No one should go through that," he said soothing me and holding me possessively.
He kissed the top of my head.
"I'll make sure everything will turn out ok. You won't get fired while I'm here," he told me.
I felt safe in his arms. I felt like everything would turn out for once ok.
"Why don't get some rest?"
I nodded my head. He got off the couch. My legs were weak I couldn't get up.
"I'll talk to Ecklie," he said comforting me.
"'Here let me help you. Can I?" He asked pointing to my situation of not being able to get up.
I nodded my head again.
He positioned his right arm under my knees and gently took my left wrist in his hand and placed it around his neck loosely.
I grasped my other hand and held on to my wrist around his neck as he gathered me up in his arms. My head laid against his chest. I could feel his heart beating; it was an easy rhythm compared to mine, which was out of control being so close to him.
He knew his way to my bedroom and gently put me on the bed. I let go of him. He didn't leave right away. He pulled down the covers for me. I got in. He tucked me in. He was caring and gentle.
He was on his way out when I called his name.
"Grissom," I called out.
He turned in the door right away as he heard me call his name.
He came to my bed and sat on edge.
"Are you ok honey?" He asked softly.
I was going to take huge chance.
I leaned forward to his face.
He dipped his face down to mine. He knew my intentions. He watched my eyes and his gaze landed on my lips. I'm not sure who made the first move, but our lips touched. It was the softest kiss I had ever had.
We were connected. He moved closer so his hand was on the other side of me and leaned over closer to me. I pulled away first. I didn't want to, but I knew where it might lead, and I wanted for us to go slow. He was dazed, but when he realized what he had done, he got up.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said apologetically.
"I'm not sorry," I told him seriously.
"I don't regret it," he told left and me.
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Their first kiss!!! lol What do think? This doesn't mean it will be puppys and smiles yet. There is still a lot of angst coming. It depends on my mood. jk Thank You For All The Reviews!!! Please just click on that review box and leave a review! If your just reading this story thank you for taking the time and leave a review!!!