Katekyo Hitman ED!

By The Mauve Lantern

Target 1, Part 2: That ED from Italy, continued

Reborn continues to point the gun straight at Eddward. "Just die once; that's all it takes."

Eddward begins to panic, and scrambles out of the elevator in a futile effort to get away from his insane teacher, screaming, "What are you doing?! Why do I have to die?!"

The hitman gives a big grin to his student, and says, "You'll know what I mean when you die!"

Eddward falls to the floor, and scoots himself up against the wall. Nowhere to run.

BANG! And the deed is done. Eddward falls to the ground, a stream of blood coming from his forehead…

As he falls to the ground, Eddward feels regret. "I'm, I'm going to die now," he thinks to himself, "I'm leaving this world. What a pity; if I had felt then what I feel now, I might have spoken to Nazz Williams. I should have told her how I felt…in desperation."

Eddward's body hits the ground, a pool of blood forming from the bullet hole in his head, while Reborn stands over the body, a stoic look on his face. While there was no one in the hallway before hand, people begin to poke their heads out of their rooms to see what that sound was. A girl screams when she sees Eddward's unmoving body lying on the ground, and all the students' heads turn in that direction.

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"Is that kid all right?"

"Was that a GUN just now?!"



May Kanker looks out from her room, and sees the body of her best friend on the ground in a crumpled heap. She cries out, "DOUBLE D!" and rushes over to the body; finding him unresponsive, the girl cradles his head in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Unbeknownst to her, something is happening to Eddward's body: a bump appears on his chest, and begins to grow bigger and bigger, until…

BOOM! The boy's torso explodes, and out comes…Eddward? But wait, something is wrong with him: his eyes are pure white, and there is a flame in the center of his forehead, where the bullet hole was; what's even odder is the fact that he is now clad only in his boxers and skull cap.

May looks at the strange figure, and whispers, "D-Double D?"

Eddward shouts out, "REEEEEEEEBBORRRRRRRRRRNNNNN!!" and clenches his fists as he declares, "I shall tell Nazz Williams how I FEEL!!"

Some of the kids ask each other, "What just happened?"

"Is this, like, practice for a play?"

Eddward looks down at himself, and asks, "Why am I half-naked?!" Then he jumps out of discarded body, shouting, "Who CARES?! I HAVE TO GO SEE NAZZ!!" and pries open the elevator door. Seeing no elevator, the boy cries out, "GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" and throws himself down the elevator shaft.

All the while, Reborn is smiling to himself, saying, "It's deathperation time."

Two students, Wendy Tyler and Marvin White, are riding the elevator to the lobby, where they're going to meet their friends for dinner.

Marvin asks Wendy, "Did you feed the dog before we left?"

"Of course I did; it amazes me how much that dog can eat though! The amount he eats, you'd think he'd be big enough to eat us at this point!"



"Geez, Wendy, overreact much?"

Suddenly, the elevator shakes violently; something has crashed onto the top of the machine.

"What was that, Marvin?!"

"I don't know!"

As if to answer her question, a fist crashes through the ceiling right above Wendy's head. She screams, and runs over to Marvin's side of the elevator; they both stare in fear at the sight before them. The fist becomes a hand, and the hand grabs onto a piece of the ceiling, ripping it off; a manic boy jumps into the elevator, and asks the two, "WHAT FLOOR IS THIS GOING TO?!"

Marvin fearfully replies, "Th-the l-l-lobby…"

The boy stomps his foot and shouts, "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!" then jumps back through the hole he just made.

Marvin and Wendy dash over to the hole in the ceiling, and see that the boy has begun to climb the elevator shaft with his bare hands. Both of them stare at the spectacle, and Marvin says, "Hot damn…"

Eddward climbs the shaft, using only his bare hands, saying "This…won't…stop…ME!!"

He reaches the door of the third floor, and, grabbing onto it with both hands, punches a hole in the door and rips it open. Leaping out of the shaft, Eddward heads off to Nazz's room; upon finding it, he bangs on it violently.

Nazz opens the door saying, "What is i-" but stops when she sees the guy in front of her.

"NAZZ WILLIAMS! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU NEED TO GO OUT WITH ME!!"



Unfortunately for Eddward, Nazz screams and slaps him across the face, then slams the door and locks it. Spurned and rejected, Eddward runs back down the hall to the elevator, where Jason Todd stands.

"Hey, you!" he asks Eddward, "Did you do this?!"

Eddward punches Todd right in the face, shouting, "OUTTA MY WAY, JERK!!" and jumps into the elevator shaft, climbing up to the fifth floor.

Jason picks himself off the floor and shouts up the elevator, "You won't get away with this! You'll be sorry you ever messed with a class rep!"

Finally reaching the fifth floor, Eddward rips open the doors of the elevator shaft, and leaps out into the hallway. No one is there anymore, not even Eddward's "body"; the hall is completely empty.

The boy suddenly feels ill, and collapses onto the ground. The flame on his forehead dissipates, and his eyes return to normal; in just a few seconds, Eddward has reverted to his normal state, with only a scorch mark on his forehead.

Eddward realizes what has just happened, and begins to panic. "Oh no!" he thinks to himself, "I confessed my feelings for Nazz! She must think of me as a stalker or a pervert!"

"The state of deathperation lasts only five minutes; after that, you return to normal." The voice of the infant hitman Reborn brings Eddward back to reality.

Suddenly, Eddward begins feeling like there is something in his nasal cavity; plugging one nostril, he blows out with the other one. Out comes a golden bullet.

"W-wait, a BULLET?! You actually shot me in the head?!"

"Absolutely," the baby replies, "This bullet is the deathperation bullet." He takes it from Eddward's hand, and holds it up to show the boy.



"Any person shot with this bullet will be reborn in the state of deathperation after dying."

Eddward asks, "W-What's 'deathperation'?"

"Deathperation is the action that occurs when you have any regrets after you die."

For further emphasis, Reborn holds up a picture of Eddward, dead, saying, "I should have done this…" and Eddward, in deathperation, shouting, "I WILL DO THIS!!"

"So, what would have happened if I had no regrets?"

Reborn smiles and starts walking back to the room. "Well, it is a bullet…"

"You mean I would have DIED?!"

Just now, Eddward realizes how cold he feels; looking down, he realizes that he is only in his boxers. "Good lord, I'm indecent!" he says as he races back to his room.

Once back in the safety of his room, Eddward begins to shout at Reborn, "Do you realize what you've done?! I can't leave this room again, and I'll never be able to look Nazz in the eye for the rest of my life!"

He grabs the infant hitman and shakes him, saying, "I never wanted to confess to her anyway!"

"You mean you wanted to, but you couldn't, right?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

Reborn grabs Eddward's wrists and flips over his head, throwing him onto the bed. "Owwww," says the sickly boy, "Why does this hurt, when I crashed into an elevator earlier?!"

"You were deathperate that time. See, deathperation means your body is in a state where all the safety mechanisms are switched off; so in exchange for risking your life by breaking your limits, you become the bearer of massive strength."



Eddward snaps his fingers and says, "I get it! It's like potential strength, right?"

"But wait!" he shouts, "I've never heard of such a weapon!"

Reborn sits down in Eddward's desk chair and tells him, "The deathperation shot is a specialty of the Vongola family, passed down from generation to generation."

"The Vongola family?"

"Right. I was assigned by the 9th boss of the Vongola family to come to America and prepare you as a mafia boss!"

Eddward thinks to himself, "This child is insane, although I did just go through deathperation…"

Reborn continues by saying, "The 9th boss is getting old, and so has begun to make plans on passing the torch of the Vongolas to the 10th generation." He removes three pictures from his pocket, and shows them to Eddward one by one.

"But the top choice, Enrico, was shot in a feud with a rival family." He shows a picture of a dead man clutching a gun in his hands as blood pours from body.

"EEEK!"

Reborn holds up another picture, this one of a drowned man whose feet are in cement. "The second choice, Matsumo, now sleeps with the fishes…"

"GOOD LORD!"

"And the favorite son of the Vongola, Freddie, went missing a few weeks ago. All we could find of him," he holds up the last picture, "were the bones."

Eddward is now covering his eyes, and screaming, "NO MORE! I'VE SEEN ENOUGH!"

"So you see, Edd," Reborn says as he puts the pictures away, "The only candidate for the position of 10th is you."

"But…how is that possible?!"



"The Vongola family's first boss, Giotto, retired early and immigrated to America; that man, Edd, was your great-great-great-grandfather, so you blood-related and thus an honorary candidate for the position."

"Reborn, how come I've never heard any of this?"

The infant begins removing his clothing and pulling on a pair of pajamas, saying, "Don't worry, I'll make you into a fine mafia boss."

"You're crazy!" Eddward shouts, "There's no way I'd ever become a-"

"I'm going to sleep now; if you wake me up, I'll kill you, so be careful."

Eddward notices that Reborn has set up two grenades attached to a string right next to Eddward's bed.

"Wait just a minute: you are forbidden from setting up traps in my room! And don't you dare sleep in my bed, mister!

The next day…

Eddward walks to his Chemistry class in dread, not unlike a prisoner walking to the gallows; what he doesn't know is that his fate is probably worse.

"Oh dear, how am going to deal with this mess Reborn made?" the nervous boy asks himself. "And what if I see N-Nazz?!"

He opens the door to the classroom, and immediately all the guys in the room pounce on him.

"Look, it's that weirdo from Cornerstone!"

"No, no, it's Captain Underpants, HAHA!"

"How was the confession for you?!"



"I hear Todd wants to beat the crap out of ya!"

The worst comment comes from a boy who is standing near Nazz, and shouts, "I hear she slapped you across the face!" Nazz isn't even looking in Eddward's direction, and simply stares at her desk.

"Good Lord," Eddward thinks to himself, "They all know!"

When he runs out of the room, he is confronted by a group of guys wearing boxing gear. Two boys come up to him, and one of them says, "Where do ya think you're going, stalker?"

"Captain Todd is waiting for you in the wrestling ring!"

The boxing team members grab Eddward, and hoist him onto their shoulders, his feeble struggle in vain.

"W-w-wait! Y-y-you don't understand, this is all a mistake!"

All of the students in the chemistry class run out of the room, and follow the boxers to the gym.

"Oh man, that kid's gonna get clobbered!"

"Let's go watch!"

"C'mon, hurry!"

Nazz remains at her desk, until her friend Cindy grabs her wrist and says, "Y'know, Todd's gonna beat that guy into the ground for what he did to you yesterday!"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah yeah, I remember him saying, "I won't forgive that monster who made Nazz scream in terror!" HAHA!"

Nazz tries to make a proper explanation, saying, "He just said that because he's another class rep, that's all!"



Her other friend in the class, Dee-Dee, tells her, "Aww, Nazz, there's no need to make excuses!"

"Yeah," Cindy says, "It's just a guy thing; it's what they do!" She pushes Nazz out of the room, shouting, "Let's watch!"

Apparently, news travels fast at Peach Creek Academy, as the entire gym floor has been filled with spectators, all of whom are sophomores. Eddward is shocked at how many people are here to observe his beating, but that shock is replaced by fear when he sees a very pissed off Jason Todd in the center of the boxing ring, dressed for a fight.

"There you are, you perverted stalker!" he says with righteous fury. "God may forgive twisted pieces of crap like you, but I won't; I shall smite you down with my own two fists!"

Eddward begins to panic, and tries to worm his way out of the fight by saying, "Oh please, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry," Todd barks with a snarl on his face, "The rules for the fight are so simple, even a creep like you has a shot at winning. From what I hear, you've never boxed before; so if you can land a hit on me, you win!"

"The prize, of course, is NAZZ WILLIAMS!" he shouts as he points his glove at her.

Nazz sputters in indignation, screaming out, "PR-PRIZE?!"

"What a jerk." Cindy says.

While Cindy and Dee-Dee try to subdue Nazz, so that she doesn't kill Jason, the boxer begins chuckling darkly to himself.

"I'm the favored to win in this fight," he says to himself, "There's no chance in hell of that psycho winning! The shorts and gloves Eddward Carson has to wear have been weighted down to the point that it takes two of my strongest guys to carry them! The judge is also one of my pals, so he won't declare a hit no matter WHAT that hat-wearing lunatic does, heheheheh…"



When he looks at where Eddward should be, he discovers that his opponent is no longer there! "Wait, where's Carson?"

"He said he had to use the bathroom, so we let him go."

The news of Eddward's departure begins circulating around the students:

"So, wait, he ran off to the bathroom? Really?"

"No doubt."

"That's just like a coward."

Jason takes advantage of shouting, "Then it's settled: I AM THE WINNER BY DEFAULT! NAZZ IS MINE!"

A couple of guys near him begin to question Todd's abilities as an upper-classman.

Meanwhile, out in the hall, Eddward is shuffling along with his tail hung between his legs. He thinks to himself, "And thus another mark is made in the history my pathetic life."

"Well, it's for the best," he says as he stretches his arms above his head, "I couldn't win anyways."

Suddenly, his foot becomes ensnared in a rope trap, and he is swept off his feet and into the air by none other than the infant hitman Reborn!

"Ciaosup."

"REBORN, PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?!"

"I'm making sure you are behaving as a mafia boss should. It's a hassle," he notes with a smile, "but don't worry about it. You and me, we've got something special."

"What on Earth do you mean, "special"?! I'm just a boy who wants to be left alone!"



"You misunderstand," Reborn says as he fishes through his pocket, "We've got that special bond between a hitman," he pulls out his rifle, "and his target."

Eddward panics again, "Wait, Hold on-"

CLICK! "Die." BANG!

While dying, Eddward begins to feel that emotion of regret again. "I'm dying now…I'm leaving this plane of existence…What a waste.

"If I were desperate, I probably could have beaten Upper-Classman Todd in a fight…

"…I'll do it…I'm going to do it!!"

BOOM! "REBORN!!" shouts the resurrected Eddward, half-naked once again. "No matter what," he shouts, "I WILL GET ONE POINT!!"

He zooms back to the gym, crying out, "RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!" When he reaches the gym, he throws the doors open and shouts out, "I'M READY!! LET'S FIGHT!!"

All eyes turn to him, as Todd snarls at the loss of his immediate victory, Nazz at the sight of that strange boy again, and all the students at the now-Reborn Eddward Carson.

"Woah!"

"AAAHH! It's the perv!"

"Aaawwweeesssooommmeee!"

The two guys holding Eddward's gear struggle to lift it, saying, "H-Here's your gear…", but Eddward just rushes past them.

"I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' GEAR!!"

Crowd gasps at the strange boy's decision: no gloves, no mouth guard, and no gym shorts?!



"He must be out of his mind!" one student says, nailing the situation in the head.

His opponent charging at him, Todd bursts into laughter, crying out, "BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Only an idiot would run into a boxing fight half-naked!" He raises his fist to strike, and shouts, "You think I'm gonna hold back?! Take this, jackass!"

He brings his fist down, and nails Eddward right in the head; however, the flame on his forehead grows with intensity as he begins to push back. Pushing with all his might, he knocks Todd's fist away and head-butts him square in the forehead.

Nazz watches Eddward in awe, amazed at how such a small guy can use such power; the entire crowd is left speechless at what has unfolded.

Jason Todd hits the mat, thoroughly unconscious, but his opponent is not done yet. Eddward leaps into the air, and slams down onto Todd and straddles his torso as the crowd gasps in unison.

"Mounting position?!"

"What's that kid gonna do?!"

Eddward brings his hand into the air…

"It's a karate chop!"

"He's gonna bitch-slap Todd!"

…and he brings his hand down with another war cry, "RRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!" and it connects with Todd's head.

Jason screams in pain, and all the crowd is silent at what has just happened. The kids in the back try to get a better view, while Nazz stands speechless.

Eddward throws his hand in the air, a large clump of Jason's hair in his fist. "I JUST GOT ONE HUNDRED POINTS!!" he shouts at the partially-bald Todd.



The students gasp, and are silent for a few seconds, until…

"WOO-HOOO! AWESOME, EDDWARD!"

"Hey, he never said how to get a point!"

Eddward flashes the clump of hair at the judge, and shouts, "HOW'S THIS?!" and the judge recoils in terror. The deathperate boy turns back to his opponent and cries out, "SCREW IT!!" and proceeds to rip out even more of Todd's hair, terrifying the crowd to no end.

"HOLY #!, is that really Eddward?!"

"That dude is scary, man…"

At last, Jason's head hits the mat, every hair on his head removed; Eddward shows the giant pile of hair to the judge, and shouts, "Here's all of it!!"

The judge nervously takes Eddward's arm, and raises it into the air, saying, "T-T-The winner…"

While Nazz stares at the victor, all the students begin to whisper, "He won…he actually won!"

The flame of deathperation fades on Eddward's head, and he returns to his normal, wimpy self.

"AMAZING!"

"HE WON!"

Every student in the gym rushes into the ring, wanting to speak with the victor.

"That was insane, but you were awesome!"

"What a guy!"

"That was incredible to watch!"

"Dude, I will totally respect you from now on!"

Eddward looks at his hands, and thinks to himself, "I did it? With this "deathperation" thing, I was able to beat someone like Jason Todd?"



He looks around at all his admirers, and thinks "Unbelievable, I'm the center of attention!" but the sound of a sweet voice brings him back to reality.

"Eddward."

"Oh no," the boy thinks, "It's Nazz; she's probably mad about yesterday!"

He turns to face Nazz, who is giggling and says, "I'm really sorry for slapping you and slamming the door on you."

"Oh, that's um…"

"Yeah, my friends are always telling me that I can't take a joke."

Eddward, in his head, is screaming, "SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE?!"

Nazz's smile crosses her face as she tells Eddward, "You're incredible, Double D! You're, like, not some average dude!"

Taken aback by Nazz's compliment, Eddward gets to thinking about Reborn. "Is this all that kid's doing? The things that baby says and does are completely insane, but if it weren't for him, this wouldn't be possible!"

At the gym doors, Reborn smiles, and walks back to Eddward's room.

Eddward did not go back to his room until 7:30 that evening, a new record for him. He had spent the day chatting with people in his grade, being treated to lunch and dinner by his classmates, and having long conversations with Nazz! Now, however, he just wanted to get back to his computer and catch up on his schoolwork.

As he walks down the hall to his room, Eddward is stopped by the sight of May, who is leaning against the wall next to his door.

"So," she says with a smirk, "Did you have fun today?"



"Oh, May, you have no idea! I feel like I know so much more about the world now! There are so many interesting people in our grade, did you know that?"

May laughs, and tells him, "I'm glad you had a nice day."

"Well, I'm tired, and I need to work on my homework, so-"

"Now, what's this I hear about a "fight"?"

Oh, that's right; May didn't know about the fight…

She reaches out, grabs Eddward and pins him against the wall, saying, "Listen to me, Eddward Carson," when she refers to him by his full name, that's usually a bad sign, "I don't ever want to hear about you getting into a fight again, do you hear me?!"

"But, May-"

"NO BUTS!" She then pulls him into a tight hug, and starts to cry, "I don't want to have to hear about you being hurt again…not after what happened last time."

Eddward returns the hug, and whispers, "It'll be all right, May." He then pulls away from her, and says, "Besides, this is all part of Reborn's tutoring!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. It certainly helped me feel better about myself, I'll tell you that!" Then Eddward gives May a big smile, gives her another hug and says, "Everything's going to be a-okay, got it?"

"Yeah…yeah, ok!"

Eddward then lets go of his friend, says goodbye, and enters his room. May stares at the door, wipes her tears away with her hand, and asks, "Double D, you're not a kid anymore, are you?"

In the sanctity of his room, Eddward sets his backpack down and sees that his tutor is already in bed, sound asleep. "I'll try not to disturb him."



The boy tiptoes over to his bed, but accidentally catches his foot on a certain string. Hearing the sound of the pins come out of the grenades, Edd says, "Oh dear!" and…

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

Edd's room is blown to pieces and takes out a chunk of the ceiling with it; through that hole in the ceiling, Reborn floats gently back down to the remains of the room via a parachute.

Crawling out from what used to be the fourth wall of his room, Edd coughs, and declares, "That's it; I'm never becoming a mafia boss!"