Katekyo Hitman ED!

By The Mauve Lantern

Target 3: Eddy Marconi

It was a regular morning at Peach Creek Academy, with students waking up and going about their usual routines, like getting breakfast and taking showers. One student was having trouble getting out of his bed…

"Get up, Double D." Reborn, the infant tutor, told his student. "You'll have to get up sooner or later…"

Eddward "Double D" Carson hid his head under his covers, and said to his tutor, "I'm sorry, Reborn, but I can't go to classes today: my corneas are percolating; when my cornea's percolate, there's trouble on the horizon!"

"Oh really?" the infant asked.

"Yes. For example: this one time, my corneas were percolating while I was out on the playground with May; I didn't think anything of it then. Then these older boys came over and…I'm sorry, I can't talk about it." When Edd stuck his head out from under his covers, he saw that his tutor was asleep.

"If you're going to ask someone something, pay attention to the response!" Edd said as he kicked the infant off his bed.

Reborn got up off the floor, dusted himself off, and then jumped up and began to strangle his student. "Never, EVER wake a Mafioso when he is napping, if you value your life." Seeing as his student was about to pass out, Reborn let go of his neck, and told him, "You have to go to class today, because there is a new student coming. I want you to be the first one to greet him and welcome him to Peach Creek Academy."

Edd gasped for air, and asked, "Did you have to do that?"

"Absolutely."

After taking a shower, Edd gathered all his stuff for school and headed to the kitchen, where he fixed himself some breakfast. As he started making scrambled eggs, he thought to himself, 

"Hmm…May's not going to be here, because she had to go to class early to make up a test; looks like it's just me and Reborn…"

Reborn walked through the kitchen, his suitcase in hand, and headed for the door. Edd turned to him and asked, "Reborn, where are you going?"

"I still have to work on my system around the school. Sadly, I'll have to pass on breakfast."

"But you should always have something to eat in the morning!"

"When you're in the mafia, you learn how to go hungry. Arrivederci." With that, he left the apartment, and shut the door behind him.

Edd sighed, and thought, "Okay, it's just me. Could this be any more pathetic?" He set his plate down on the table, and ate in silence, his mind now focusing on why his corneas were percolating this morning.

Outside, near the center of campus, underneath the old clock tower, a boy is sitting at a booth with all dishes of food all laid out on a table. He is wearing a sweatshirt and has the hood pulled over his head, obscuring his face; not only that, he also has sunglasses on to further hide his identity. The boy calls out to the passing students, "HEY KIDS! Tired of eating the same ol' stuff every day? Then try the Marconi Special, a combination of all your favorite breakfast dishes!"

As he began to attract customers, the boy chuckled and said, "That's right! We've got fine cuisines, stuff you could only get at the finest restaurants ready for you, for the low, LOW price of one dollar each!"

"Well, it does look pretty good…"

"Yeah, looks pretty tasty!"

Soon, there are kids lining up to get their Marconi Specials, and they dig in as soon as they pay; the boy in the booth laughs in his head, and rubs his hands together as he thinks, "Heheheh, suuuuuuckers!" His attention is then drawn to a boy who is walking by; a boy wearing a black skull cap. "It's HIM!"

"You sir! How about a Marconi Special? Cures what ails ya!"

"Hmm? Oh, no thank you."



"You sure, it's really goooood!" the boy says as he shoves the plate under the potential customer's nose.

Edd takes a good whiff of the food and then quickly turns his head away in disgust, for fear of vomiting on the spot. "Good lord, what IS that, GARBAGE!?"

The hooded boy starts to sweat, and says, "Wh-Why, no! I-It's the MARCONI SPECIAL!"

"BLECH! Unless I'm mistaken, that's the lunch they were serving in the cafeteria two days ago! It's ROTTEN!"

When the other kids who have bought their food hear this, they spit out what's in their mouths, and some even vomit on the spot. The duped children all begin to chase the hooded boy, who dodges the kids and grabs his jar of cash from the booth.

Before he runs off, the boy shouts to Edd, "I'll GET YOU FOR THIS!" and then runs faster than a cheetah as he sprints away from the horde of students.

Edd shakes his head, and says, "Tut tut tut, what is this school coming to?"

The final bell rang, signifying the start of the school day. Edd was sitting in his homeroom class, 1-A, listening to what his teacher, Mr. Garrison was saying.

"Okay, class: today we have a new student joining us. His name is Eddy Marconi, and he has been studying overseas in Italy for some time now."

He gestured to the boy who now stood next to him. This boy was slightly short for his age, seeming to be a head shorter than Eddward, and he had spiky blonde hair with three long strands that hung in his face. He was wearing the school uniform, except the shirt was open, revealing a white tank top; around his neck was a necklace that had a silvery dollar sign attached to it. His eyes were hazel, and he had one hand in his pocket, while the other fiddled with a coin.

"He comes from Italy too, eh?" Edd thought to himself as he studied this new student. Eddy seemed to carry an air of apathy about him, but there was something that didn't seem right about the boy. Could Eddy be the cause of his percolating corneas?

Edd overheard the girls in the room giggling and blushing.

"Wow, he's pretty cute!"

"I'd heard Italian guys were good-looking!"



Edd laughed in his head and thought, "Girls really do go for the dangerous-looking type." Then he remembered that Nazz was in his class as well, and he turned to see what her reaction to the new boy was.

Nazz was staring at Marconi with a sort of dreamy look in her eyes, as a faint blush lit up her face.

"GAH! She's FALLEN for that miscreant!" Edd turned around to see the new boy again, and couldn't help but think, "This transfer student really gets on my nerves for some reason." It was then that he noticed Eddy was glaring right at him, grinding his teeth in pent-up fury.

The people sitting around Edd could tell that the steely gaze of the new student was directed at the capped boy, and a few began to sweat from nervousness over the situation. Edd shook a little, as the staring began to make him unnerved, and he asked, "Wh-Why are you looking at me like that?!"

Eddy did not reply, but he began to walk towards the trembling Edd, now flipping the coin as he walked. Mr. Garrison tried to tell Eddy, "Mr. Marconi, your seat is over this way…Mr. Marconi?" The Italian boy did not reply, and he kept walking until he approached Edd's desk, which he knocked over with a kick.

"AAAGGGHH!" the poor boy said as he went down.

As Edd gathered himself and tried to lift his desk up, he thought to himself, "What the deuce?! I haven't even said two words to the guy and he HATES me!"

Lazlo helped his pal set his desk back up, and asked, "Hey, Double D, do you know that guy?"

"No, and that's what scares me; I've never seen him before in my life!"

"That guy has GOT to be a criminal." Raj said to Edd.

The girls of the class, on the other hand, wouldn't have cared if he had killed Edd right on the spot; they were THAT infatuated with him.

"But that what makes him so dreamy," Cindy said.

"He's sooooo cool!" Patsy mumbled in a trance-like state.

"Looks like another one for the 'Hotties List'," Libby decided as she gazed in lust at the dark Italian boy.



Once the school day had ended, Edd meandered down the hallway, looking for something to do. Recently, he had grown tired of the doldrums that he was accustomed to; now, he was beginning to look into joining a club, or some other activity that he could get involved in.

But right now, he had a bigger problem on his hands: that Marconi guy. "Hrrm…what do I do about this guy? He's clearly out to get me, for some reason or another. But why?"

While he walked, Edd did not pay attention to where he was going and he bumped into someone. "Ouch! Oh, uh, pardon m-" he froze in his place when he realized just who he ran into: the Ghetto Seniors.

These were three boys who attended the school, got mediocre grades, and spent most of their time out of uniform, beating on innocent students. One had tattoos running up and down his arm (rumor was that he did it himself); another had his head shaved and was big and muscular; the third one always wore a hoodie, and (supposedly) kept a butterfly knife hidden in the pockets.

"Ouch," said the first one, a cruel smirk crossing his face, "That hurt; I might have broken a bone." His two friends began to chuckle, as evil grins spread across their faces.

"EEK!" Edd thought in his head, "The Ghetto Seniors!" He spun around and ran away as quickly as he could, shouting, "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M REALLY SORRY!"

The boy ran out of the school to a secluded, empty lot, where he leaned up against the wall to catch his breath. "That…was close…" Edd said in between gasps, "I could have been murdered!"

A familiar voice said to Edd, "You're a big chicken, ain't ya?"

Edd turned and found that transfer student, Eddy Marconi, leaning against the wall as he lit a cigarette. "Y-You're the transfer student." He began to fidget, wondering what to do right now. Finally, he began to walk back to the door to the school, saying, "I'll…I'll just be going now…"

"If a wuss like you becomes the 10th boss, the Vongola are finished."

Hearing this, Edd turned to face the boy, and asked, "Huh?! H-How do you know about the family!?"

Eddy spun around, his eyes burning a hole through Eddward, as he shouted, "I ain't gonna take this; I'm the one who's going to be the 10th boss!"

"Wh-Wha!?" A few days ago, Edd hadn't even heard of the Vongola family; now, here was someone that wanted to take his place? "What are you TALKING about?! And you think I can do something about this?"



Marconi stuffed his hands into his pockets, and said, "See, I've had an eye on you since the volleyball game. It's been one big, fat waste of my time watching a weakling like you."

"Y-You've been SPYING on me?!"

The boy pretended not to hear him, and instead removed two yo-yos from his pockets. "You're a pain-in-the-ass, now go and die."

Edd backed away in fear, and thought to himself, "Yo-yos!? What could he possibly do with YO-YOS?!"

Eddy began to spin the toys around, faster and faster, until they were simply blurs flying around his body. "See ya," he said as he swung both yo-yos at Edd; with the speed they were going, they would hurt like a bullet!

At moment right before they made contact, however, a bullet ironically whizzed through the air, and sliced through the threads that connected the yo-yos to their strings; Edd ducked instantaneously, and the toys flew over his head harmlessly, crashing into the side of the building and leaving dents in the stone.

"Damn," Eddy said through gritted teeth.

Seeing the immediate threat gone, Edd fell to the ground, scared stiff but still alive and well. The owner of the gun that shot the bullet blew away the smoke that came from his handgun, and politely greeted the two boys with a friendly, "Ciaosup."

Edd cried out, "REBORN, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE!" He had never been happier to see his tutor before now.

The infant ignored his student, however, and began speaking to the Italian boy who had just attacked Edd. "You came earlier than I expected, Eddy Marconi." Reborn said with a smile on his face.

"Wait," Edd asked, "You two KNOW each other?!"

"Yes," Reborn told his student, "He's a member of the family; I called him and told him to come here."

Edd was growing more and more frightened by the second. "So, this guy is in the MAFIA!?"

"Actually, it's my first time meeting the boy."

"So," Eddy said as he spoke up again, "You're the 9th boss's most trusted assassin, Reborn."



"Wow," Edd thought to himself, "Is Reborn really that high up in the mafia?"

"Now, you weren't BSing me about this, right? If I kill Carson, I get to become a candidate for the position of 10th boss?"

"Wh-What are you talkin-"

"Yes, that's right," Reborn said as he sat on the windowsill, "Now, commence with the violence."

"Hey, wait a minute, Reborn!" Edd shouted as he scampered over to his tutor. "KILL ME!? Surely you must be joking!"

"I'm serious," Reborn told the boy, "And don't call me 'Shirley'."

"What…you-you can't be serious…Reborn, are you BETRAYING ME!? You mean everything up till now was a lie, just stringing me along for this moment?!"

The infant cocked his gun and said, "You've got it all wrong, Edd: I'm telling you to fight."

"Wha – Fight with the transfer student? I can't do this! I can't possibly fight the MAFIA!" Edd shouted as he began to run away.

Eddy dashed in front of the boy, and said, "You're not going anywhere," forcing Edd to stop and scream in fear. The transfer student pulled out three yo-yos for each hand, and began to swing them around quickly; however, this time, the strings burst into flames, creating a cyclone of fire around his body as they spun around.

"Is this boy CRAZY?!" Edd screamed in his head as he backed away, Marconi watching him the whole way.

Reborn used this moment to explain just who Eddy was to his student: "It is said that Eddy Marconi is an expert trickster, who carries trick yo-yos all over his body. His nickname in the criminal underworld is "Marconi Junior".

"This guy IS crazy!" Edd cried out as he ran away from Eddy, trying to put some distance between the two of them. "I can't possibly beat this guy!"

Eddy launched the yo-yos, and shouted, "Die!"

The yo-yos barely missed their mark, but they sent Edd flying as he screamed in fear, "WAAAAHHHH-HYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"



He finally fell to the ground, where he was met by a wall. "A dead end!" Edd shouted as he turned to face Marconi, "I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place!"

"This is it," Eddy said as he launched another salvo of flaming yo-yos at the trapped boy, "Die."

Reborn sighed, and aimed his gun. "Time to die, Edd," he said as he fired the bullet that his student needed. The bullet rang true, and made contact with his head, and he fell to the ground as a pool of blood formed from the hole in his cranium.

"Did he just kill his student?" Marconi thought to himself as he waited for the yo-yos to hit.

Suddenly, a lump appeared in Edd's chest, and it grew and grew until…"REBORN!" the transformed boy hollered as he burst out of his old body. "I WILL DODGE THOSE YO-YOS AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!"

"DODGE!!" the boy shouted as he bent over at a near 90 degree angle to avoid the first flaming projectile. Eddy saw this, and wondered what had happened to the loser that stood in front of him a moment ago, cowering in fear.

Edd, clad only in his boxers, continued to dodge the flaming yo-yos, each time shouting, "DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!!"

"What IS this guy?!" Eddy thought as he readied more yo-yos. He launched his next attack, consisting of even more of the deadly toys, as he shouted, "DOUBLE BLAST!"

"DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!! DODGE!!" cried out Edd as he leapt to and fro to avoid meeting a grisly fate.

A vein was now throbbing in Eddy's temple as he grew furious with the situation. "This was just supposed to be some wuss; how can I be losing like this?!" Marconi popped his jacket open, and removed a dozen yo-yos as he hooked them to his fingers and wrists. As he began to spin them, he shouted, "TRIPLE BLAST!"

Before he could launch the yo-yos, they proved too much for him to handle, as he dropped one on the ground as it began to burst into flames. A few others were dropped, and soon Eddy was surrounded by a raging inferno. "Crap," Eddy thought to himself, "Is this where I die?"

Just then, he saw Edd leap above the flames and land right next to Eddy, and he cried, "DODGE!!" as he lifted Eddy up and threw him over the inferno to safety. The Italian boy marveled at this; no one had ever done something so kind for him.

Turning his attention back to the flames, Edd began to scoop up dirt by the armfuls out of the ground as he shouted, "SNUFF!! SNUFFSNUFFSNUFFSNUFFSNUFFSNUFFSNUFF!" and soon, the 

fire was put out, leaving a bunch of deactivated yo-yos. Eddy was so stunned at what had happened, the cigarette he had in his mouth fell to the ground.

At last, the flame on Edd's forehead vanished, and he reverted to his ordinary state. "Whew," the boy said as he breathed a sigh of relief, "Somehow, I survived."

Eddy fell to his knees and bowed to Edd as he cried out, "I was wrong; you are the best one for the position of 10th boss!" This freaked out Edd, and he turned to face his defeated opponent. "10th, you are the MAN!" Eddy shouted as he got to his feet, "You give the word and I'll do it! I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth!"

"Wh-What are you talking about, Marconi?!"

Reborn walked up to Edd and said, "One rule of the family is that the loser must serve under the winner."

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Actually," Eddy said with his head bowed, "I didn't really think I could cut it, and become the 10th boss of the Vongola; it's just that when I heard that the boss was this kid in the States who was my age, I felt like I had to test him out…" Hearing this made Edd a little more sympathetic towards Marconi, and he could understand where he was coming from.

"But you are frikkin' AWESOME! In order to pay my debt to you, allow me to serve at your right hand!"

Edd stammered and tried to talk Eddy out of this by saying, "I-Isn't that a-a bit much?! Can't we just be regular classmates?"

Eddy glared at him and coldly said, "No, we cannot!"

"My god, I'm too scared to argue!" Edd thought in his head, "What have I gotten myself into?!"

Reborn handed Edd his clothes and told him, "You gained a powerful ally in Eddy, once you showed him your strength; congratulations, Edd."

"B-But, Reborn, I don't need some right-hand man or something like that!"

Before he could argue any further, Edd was interrupted by three familiar voices. "My oh my, these guys are in our spot."

He turned to find the Ghetto Seniors, all of them chuckling menacingly, ready to deliver a beating.



"This requires some punishment," said Tattoos.

"Only seniors are allowed here," said Muscles.

"How many teeth you want broken?" asked Hoods.

Edd began to back into a corner as he thought, "This is bad, very bad…"

"Leave it to me," Eddy said as he lit another cigarette, "I'll get rid of them for you, buddy."

"Wai-Wait, Eddy! Don't use the flaming yo-yos!"

Later that evening, Edd was heading back to his room with Reborn, Eddy having gone to back to his room to get something. "What a day, eh, Reborn?"

"Yes: you gained another family member and you delivered some justice while you were at it."

"By the way," Edd asked, "Are those seniors going to be all right?"

"Probably."

The two were walking down the hall to Edd's room, when they heard arguing coming from up ahead.

"I SAID YOU CAN'T SMOKE HERE!"

"WHY THE HELL NOT?!"

"ONE OF THE KIDS IN THIS HALL IS ALLERGIC TO THE SMOKE, AND IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR THE REST OF US!!"

Edd ran up ahead to find May stomping a cigarette into the ground, with Eddy looking like he was about to kill her. "What the blazes is going on here?!" he shouted, gaining the attention of his two friends.

"Double D, do you know this creep?!" the two of them hollered as they pointed at each other.

"Oh, I'm a creep, am I?! Well, at least I'm not getting LUNG CANCER!"

"I'm a creep?! You're the HEALTH FREAK around here!"

They both turned to Edd and shouted, "DOUBLE D, MAKE HIM/HER STOP!!"

"Oh boy," Edd thought to himself, "Things just got more interesting…"