DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN Katekyo Hitman Reborn NOR Ed, Edd n Eddy.

Katekyo Hitman ED!

By The Mauve Lantern

Target 6: Russian Roul-ED

On a lazy Sunday morning, the students of Peach Creek Academy were all relaxing, resting their bodies before having to return to their classes on Monday. Some were in their rooms, playing video games, while some were outside playing football. Some were reading a book underneath a shady tree, while others were writing their own books. Everyone was engaged in leisurely activity, except for one student: Eddward Carson. On that day, Eddward was rearranging his bedroom and all the items within; he had been up since five working on the task. When he placed his collection of pens back in their proper drawer, he sighed in relief and smiled.

"All finished!" he said as he pulled out a science journal from his bookshelf and plopped down onto his bed. "Thank heavens Reborn isn't here. If he were, he'd probably be telling me to get out and play football with Ed or learning how to hurl grenades from Eddy!"

As Eddward was reading about this teacher back in Dimmsdale, California, who was attempting to prove the existence of magical creatures, his eyes began to wander from the page. He noticed that there was something in his room that shouldn't have been there: Reborn's suitcase. The metal case was standing in the middle of the room, unguarded and unprotected; it was unlike Reborn to leave the bag alone.

Eddward placed the journal down. "Hmm, aren't all of Reborn's possessions in there?" he asked as he got off the bed. "Of course, the only things I've seen in there are weapons. Maybe…I'll just take a peek." He glanced around the room to make sure that no one was around, and then he cautiously reached his hand out to open the latches on the suitcase. When he flipped the first latch, a small metal band popped out of the case and wrapped around Eddward's wrist, pulling him to the floor and forcing his head onto the case. Next, a pair of metal rods popped out of the sides and clicked into place after rising two feet into the air; a metal bar came out of the left rod and connected with the other rod. From the horizontal bar came a razor-sharp blade, leaving Eddward in a miniature guillotine.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Eddward screamed in fear.

A digital clock appeared on the side of the case and began to count down. "10…9…8…"

BAM!

Eddward glanced at the door that had been opened and saw that his tutor, and the owner of this dangerous suitcase, had kicked his way into the apartment. "Just what do you think you're doing, Eddward?" he asked, even though it was obvious to him what was going on.

"Reborn, help me! Get me out of this infernal device!"

"Hey dude!" Eddward looked at the door again and saw that Reborn was accompanied by someone else. That someone was Nazz Williams, who was wearing a pair of white Capri pants, a blue tank-top and a pair of white sneakers. She smiled and said, "I had no idea that you lived here, Double D! Can I come in? What're you doing?"

"Na-Nazz! What're you…doing here?!" asked Eddward.

"First of all, signora," Reborn set about deactivating the trap on his suitcase, "this is a game for Eddward. He has to try and get out of this before the blade falls."

"I see!"

"And please, come on in!"

***

After Reborn released his student from the trap on his suitcase, Eddward had made some tea for the three of them as Reborn helped Nazz to a seat at the kitchen table. While the water was boiling, Eddward kept taking furtive glances at Nazz; he could not believe that the girl he pined for was now sitting at his kitchen table. When he served her a cup of tea, she had smiled at him, forcing a wave of crimson across his face.

He thought to himself, "Is this some kind of dream, or is it a miracle?! Nazz is ACTUALLY in my room!"

"How do you like the tea?"

"Oh, it's delicious, little dude!"

"Of course," Eddward grumbled, "she just HAD to come back with Reborn…"

The tutor took a sip of tea from the glass and then turned to his student. "I asked her to come over because I owed her money, Edd."

"Money?" he asked.

"Yes. I went to the coffee shop that is on campus…"

***

Reborn, clad in his fancy, Italian suit, walked into the Starbicks and strode up to the counter. He reached into his coat and frowned, so then he turned to the girl who was at the cash register. "I'm sorry, I forgot my wallet at home today. Give me an espresso on credit, please."

The girl, who was a senior at the school, smiled awkwardly. "An espresso? Just who does this little kid think he is???"

"Little boy," she asked the hitman, "are you lost? Do you need me to call the police station?"

CLICK! Reborn had a gun drawn and ready in the blink of an eye. "Try it," he said. "The police station shall become a sea of blood."

"Wha- put that thing away, kid! I'll call the manager if you don't!"

"Are you feeling lucky, miss? I am lacking my morning caffeine, and I will-"

Just then, before Reborn pulled the trigger, a familiar girl walked up beside him. "It's okay," Nazz said to the cashier, "I'll pay for him."

***

"And that's how it went," said Reborn as he finished the story and his cup of tea.

Eddward smiled as he busied himself by rearranging the books in his room. "I see!"

Reborn walked over to his briefcase and pulled out his wallet. From his wallet, the tutor withdrew three green bills. "Thanks, Nazz."

"Aw, you didn't have to do that!" The girl sipped on her tea and smiled. "I was happy to pay for you!"

"Well, since you're already here, why don't you make yourself at home," Reborn told her.

"I don't want to be a burden! Double D, do you mind if I stay here for a little bit?"

"N-N-N-Not at all!" he stammered out. In his mind Eddward let out a cry of happiness. "Bless you, Reborn!"

So, while Eddward set about cleaning up his room even more, Nazz and Reborn drank their tea slowly and quietly. Finally, after a few minutes, Nazz set her cup down and said, "I'm really surprised! So you live up here all by yourself, Double D?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes, I-I d-d-do."

"Wow," she exclaimed, "you're, like, so mature and grown-up!" Eddward's blush darkened and he hid his face in his books out of embarrassment; Nazz did not notice this. "But who would have thought that the cute little boy I met the other day was you're little brother, Double D?"

Reborn swallowed the tea that was in his mouth and politely said, "I'm not his brother, Nazz; I'm Edd's t-"

"COUSIN!" Eddward shouted as he dropped his books and covered Reborn's mouth with his hands. "He's my COUSIN!" "What would Nazz think" he thought, "if she found out that this baby was actually my tutor?!"

Nazz asked, "Woah, seriously? You guys sure get along great! I don't get to see my family that often, so I'm kinda envious of you, Double D."

"O-O-O-Oh, I'm s-s-s-s-sorry to hear that," he said. "I can't believe that Nazz is actually in my room and talking to me! ME, of all people!" Eddward's mind drifted off to Cloud 9. "She's so incredibly beautiful…Her beauty is so dazzling, I'm getting all choked up! Wait a minute, I think I actually am--"

"AGGGGHHH!" Eddward was indeed choking, but not because he seat across from the girl of his dreams, but because his tutor had broken free of his grasp and was now strangling the very life out of him.

"Don't you ever lay a hand on me again," Reborn hissed through gritted teeth.

Nazz clapped her hands together. "Wow, that's some great acting! Reborn, you look like you're actually choking Double D, and Double D, you're even faking foaming at the mouth!" She placed her hands in her lap. "You know, Double D, you've been just…just full of surprises lately."

As he regained the ability to breathe, Eddward had to wonder what she meant by that. "I'm full of surprises?" he asked himself. "What on Earth is she talking about?"

Just before he asked, a knock came from the door. "Double D, I've got some snacks!" May opened the door and brought in a tray of sugar cookies, minus the sugar. "I hope you don't mind, I made some extra for us to, y'know, just…" When she entered the room, she caught sight of Nazz. "…talk."

There was a moment of silence in the room as May surveyed Nazz and sized her up. She did not even bother to set down the tray of cookies. After saying nothing for three minutes straight, May said, "Hi! I'm Eddward's neighbor, May!" She was smiling, although Reborn could tell that it was faked.

"Hey, how's it going? I'm Nazz Williams. I'm in Double D's Chemistry class."

While both girls introduced themselves to each other, Eddward sat aside and thought about how awkward the situation seemed to be. Reborn could not have cared less about anything that happened.

"Hmmph," May growled in her mind, "She's hot. Like, she's really, REALLY hot! What is she doing in Double D's room?"

She laughed and slammed the cookie tray down on the table. May walked around to the other side of the table, making sure to bump into Eddward's chair along the way, and lightly shook Nazz's hand. "Thanks for taking such a pathetic guy for a boyfriend," May said, a sadistic twinkle in her eye. "I'm sure it's pretty tough on you!"

"Oh, i-i-i-it's not like that, May! I-"

"You need anything, just come right down the hall. I'm not going to bother you two love-birds." When she said "love-birds", there was a hint of venom and malice in May's voice. She walked out the room very rigidly, making sure to bump into Eddward's chair a second time, and slammed the door shut.

No one said anything after that, since Eddward and Nazz were both very embarrassed and Reborn was munching on a cookie. "I'm so sorry," Eddward said at last, "She's always jumping to conclusions like that! I don't know what gets into her head sometimes!"

"O-Okay," Nazz stammered.

To get rid of the awkward atmosphere, Eddward said, perhaps too loudly, "I know! How about we play a game?"

CLICK! "How about this?" Reborn held a pistol in front of his student.

"Wh-What in God's name are you doing?! Are you telling us to kill each other?!?"

"Of course not. We're going to play Russian Roulette!" He received a blank stare from Nazz and a horrified glare from Eddward. "Russian Roulette is a game of chance played with one gun and one bullet. You place the bullet into the revolver and then spin the cylinder. After that, you aim the gun at your forehead, as if suicidal, and then you pull the trigger. It is the ultimate test of luck."

Eddward reached for the gun in his tutor's hands, but the infant pulled it away. "Are you insane?!" he shouted. "Who in their right mind would risk their lives like that???"

"Wow, that sounds like fun!"

"Eh?"

Nazz was clapping her hands in excitement. "Let's try it out, Double D!"

Reborn pulled the trigger on the revolver, and there was a loud pop as a spring-loaded clown head popped out the front. "We'll be using a party bullet, of course, so it's perfectly safe."

"Of course," said Eddward, skeptically.

"Ohmigosh, that's so cute!" Nazz squealed. "Come on; let's try it, Double D!"

The hat-wearing boy's heart melted upon seeing her smile. "O-Okay, it sounds like fun!"

Reborn asked, "Okay, who wants the honor of going first?"

"I'll go! I'll go!" Nazz waved her hand in the air.

"Nazz it is."

The tiny hitman passed the gun to the girl, and she carefully held it in her hand. "W-Wow," she murmured, "I'm getting goose-bumps just HOLDING this thing!"

"My, she's so innocent!" Eddward sighed in his head. What had he done to deserve such a happy sight?

"Here I go!" she announced as she out the gun to her forehead and put her finger on the trigger. Eddward smiled broadly and even Reborn was smiling slightly when the gun went off with a loud BANG! Their smiling faces were shattered. Nazz's body lay upon the carpet of Eddward's apartment, a bullet hole in her head. Eddwward was stunned speechless by what had happened. Reborn only said one thing.

"Oh my," he said, "I accidentally loaded the gun with the Deathperation Shot."

"WHAAAAAAT?!?" Eddward rushed over to Nazz's unmoving body. "Dear God! Nazz!!"

In an attempt to calm his student down, Reborn told him, "If she were regretting something when she died, she might come back in Deathperation-Mode."

Eddward glared at his tutor. "How can you be so irresponsible?!" he shouted before turning back to Nazz. "Regret something?" he thought. "Nazz was so pure and innocent; it's near impossible that she has any regrets…"

He clenched his hands into fists. "If…if Nazz dies here," he growled at Reborn, "I'll do everything in my power to end your life!"

"Would you be quiet and look?" said the infant.

They turned back to Nazz's body and, sure enough, something was expanding inside her torso. Her stomach grew and grew until it was the size of a watermelon, and then it swelled even further until it finally popped open. Now, sitting in the old body of Nazz was the reborn Nazz, clad only in a white, frilly bra and panties. The flame on her forehead gave the tell-tale sign of deathperation. As she stood up, Eddward could see her milky-white thighs that were smooth as silk, her perfectly toned stomach, her petite breasts…

"Good lord!" The sight of the half-naked girl was too much for the boy, so he covered his eyes and averted his gaze. "I-I didn't see anything, Nazz!"

She wasn't paying attention to him, however. The reborn girl silently walked over to the door, opened it, and then walked out into the hallway. As Eddward watched her walk off with difficulty (he had to try very hard to keep his eyes on the back of her head and nowhere else), he asked Reborn, "Is that her deathperation-mode?"

"It appears that way. I guess Nazz just gets really quiet when she's deathperate."

Eddward was not paying attention. "Nazz…what could she possibly be regretting?" Then he realized that there was a half-naked girl walking through the hallway and he snapped back into reality.

"Curses!" he shouted. "We have to go cover her up! Reborn, bring me the sheets from my bed."

"I'll do it this time," the tutor said, "but in the future, you do NOT order me around."

"I don't care!"

***

While Eddward, Nazz, and Reborn had been enjoying their tea, sugar cookies, and suicidal games, May was in her room, mad to no end. There were two reasons for her anger: one, there was a girl that was better looking than her in Eddward's room; two, she had no idea WHY this made her so mad in the first place.

"Stupid frikkin' Double D," she grumbled, "What's so special about Nazz?"

To take her mind off of what happened earlier, she had decided to play her favorite game, Laserblast!, but so far, it was a pretty poor way to alleviate her frustration. This was because every time a human target came onto the screen, May imagined that it was either Eddward or Nazz.

When she obliterated a police officer, she shouted, "Die, you stupid creep!" and then she took a swig of soda from the open can that was next to her. She did not expect to have someone crash through her door, nor did she expect that someone to be Nazz Williams, clad only in her underwear.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" she screamed.

Nazz's face was cold and neutral, like a machine. "May, what you said earlier was unforgiveable. I'm going to have to ask you to take it back, no ifs, ands, or buts." She smacked the kitchen table in the small room and broke the table down the center.

"Wait, when she means "earlier", does she mean…" Eddward thought back to what May had said when she came into the room.

"Thanks," she had said, "for taking such a pathetic guy to be your boyfriend!"

"She's mad because May thought I was her boyfriend?!"

"Naturally," said Reborn.

Nazz grabbed the chair that May was hiding behind. "I'm very mad." She tossed the chair into the wall with no effort at all. "I'm mad because you slapped a label on him in such a careless way!" she said as she smashed the refrigerator. "And you did it without any consideration at all!"

When she destroyed the desk, May was out of places to hide. She ran screaming for her bedroom, but was caught by the suspenders of her blue over-alls. "I can't let you get away," said Nazz. "You need to take it back!" She lifted May off the ground and held her in the air by the front of her shirt. Nazz did not let her go, no matter how much screaming she did.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What should I do?!" Eddward screamed.

Reborn sighed. "Guess there's no other way," he said as he popped open his suitcase. "Time for the One-Ton Reverse Method." He pulled out a large mallet that was only slightly smaller than he was.

"That's…that's just a hammer," said Eddward.

"No, it's a hammer that weighs one ton." To prove this, he let it drop onto the ground, where it smashed into the floor, creating a dent.

"O-O-One ton?! What are you plotting?!?"

Reborn did not answer his student; he just dragged the hammer along behind him, taking up some of the floor with him. Eddward shouted, "Don't do it, Reborn! I know what you're thinking, but--"

It was too late. Reborn jumped into the air and swung the mallet around before smacking it into the back of Nazz's head. The girl's face twisted in surprise when the bullet popped out of her forehead and fell to the ground amongst the scattered items of the room. She released May and fell to the ground, quite unconscious. May followed right behind her, passing out from the shock of having her room destroyed by a half-naked girl.

"Nazz! May!" Eddward draped a blue sheet over Nazz's body and then went to tend to May, who merely suffered a bump on the head from hitting the floor too fast.

Reborn turned to the apartment's fourth wall and lifted up the One-Ton Hammer. "This is the One-Ton Hammer," he said, "and it can disable the Deathperation Shot. Only I am capable of using this technique. Trust me; you won't be seeing it too often."

He looked at Eddward. "Now, Nazz'll just think that her time spent in deathperation was just a weird dream."

"If you had this, why didn't you use it at the very beginning?!"

***

Later that evening, things would be back to normal. Nazz was back in her room, working on her homework after getting done with her step-aerobics class. She took a sip from her water bottle and wiped her forehead with a towel. "Man, Cindy," she said to her roommate, "I had the weirdest dream today!"

"What happened?"

"I dreamed…I was trying to get Double D's friend to apologize for calling him "pathetic"."

"That is pretty weird. I think you may need to lay off the jawbreakers."

Nazz nodded in reply and then thought to herself, "Was it really just a dream?"

***

Meanwhile, in his room, after explaining to May that what she had seen was nothing more than a bizarre dream, Eddward crashed down onto his bed in a state of depression as Reborn looked on. "I don't want to live!" he screamed. "Not if Nazz hates me this much!"

KA-CHIK! "Shall I kill you then?"

"Don't you DARE!"