But I could tell that Hatori was just as worried as I was. His hands were trembling and he had a strange flicker in his eyes. He was tense …
"Akito-san is awaiting you", the maid, who had led us to Akito's rooms, told us.
"Thank you", Hatori replied, as he turned to me. "Stay behind me", he said urgently. "And let me do the talking."
"Okay", I nodded, trying to be brave. Why was I feeling, as if something horrible was about to happen?!
Together, we went into the room. It was dark. The curtains were all closed, the only light in the room came from a little lamp next to a window and from the winter sun, shining through the curtains. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I shivered, when I noticed Akito. He sat in a dark corner at the other end of the room, next to a beautiful porcelain vase. Don't ask me why I suddenly turned my eyes to this vase. Maybe to distract me from the head of the Soma family.
"Akito", Hatori broke the silence, as he sat down before him. "Thank you for listening to us. Hikari and I have something very important to tell you."
I sat in respectful distance to Akito, holding my breath as I heard Hatori talk. Akito didn't say a word. His hair was hiding his face, so that I couldn't see his eyes. He just sat there, motionless …
"Akito", Hatori said, "Hikari and I wish to get married."
For a few seconds, nothing happened. Akito neither spoke nor moved. I was thinking that maybe he had fainted. When he turned to us …
I nearly screamed. Akito's eyes were burning with black hatred, when he looked at me. "What …?", he asked, the single word sounding like poison. "You … How did you …!"
"We love each other!", I replied softly, yet my voice strong and firm. I lowered my head. "I love Hatori", I said, a tear escaping my eyes. Akito looked at me, as if I had just said something terrible. "Love …", he hissed venomously. "How dare you!"
Hatori had stood up by now. "Akito, please, calm down", he said soothingly, trying to put his hands on Akito's shoulders. He spun around. "No!", Akito screamed furiously. He shook off Hatori's hands.
"You!", he screamed, pointing his finger at me accusingly. "You … filth … you are scum!" "Hey!" I got up. I was not someone to be insulted, even if it was by the great Akito Soma!
"We just want to get married", I tried to reason with him. "I will never accept this!", Akito shouted. He was coming towards me now.
"Akito, please", Hatori wanted to stop him. "Never!"
I stepped back, horrified. This was all wrong … Akito seemed beside himself with rage. Hatori was standing next to him, reaching for his arms in an attempt to get him to calm down.
"Akito, listen to me!", Hatori pleaded. He didn't … Akito was so angry, that he didn't even seem to hear him. "Get away from me!", he screamed.
What came next now, happened very quickly: Akito suddenly turned around to face Hatori. He shook off his hands. "Traitor!", he screeched, completely hysterical. And then I heard it … The breaking of a porcelain vase … Hatori let out a scream of pain …
Broken pieces … Akito in his rage had thrown the vase of its pedestal. At Hatori …
"Hatori!" I gasped in shock. All of a sudden, my whole body had grown numb. I heard my feet running to him. "Oh my god!" Hatori was kneeling on the floor, groaning painfully. He had covered his left eye with his hand.
"Hatori, what happened?!" I stammered. Hatori groaned. "Kari-chan", he said, his voice breaking from pain. "Please go, quick!"
"But … -", I stuttered. When I saw the blood.
Out of Hatori's left eye, blood was running down his face. It seemed to be everywhere … red and dark it was dripping on the floor. I felt, like someone had punched me into my stomach. "Tori … honey …" I grabbed his hand, not caring that Hatori's blood now dripped on the sleeve of my blouse. My entire body was shaking. "Your eye …" I cut my leg with a piece of the broken vase, but I didn't even notice it.
Akito was standing behind us. He finally seemed to have gone back to normal again. "Hatori?", he asked disbelievingly, slowly realising what he had done. "What is wrong?" He leaned forward. Hatori didn't answer. He was in pain, his hand now red from the blood running out of his eye. Akito saw it too. And this was, when he snapped.
"You did this!", he screamed at me. "It's your fault, if Hatori loses his sight it's your fault!" Words, like daggers through my heart … Suddenly it seemed to have gone very cold. I looked at Hatori, kneeling on the floor, bleeding. In the background was Akito's voice like shards of ice …
"Do you think you can lift the Soma curse?!", he shouted. "You are nothing! You are worthless to us!"
"But … -", I choked. "Hari …" Was it all a mistake? Was it really my fault? Everything? Would it had been better, if Hatori and I had never met?
Hatori finally lifted his head. I will never forget the look on his face … Fear, pain, guilt …
I barely noticed it, when Shigure suddenly appeared. He must have heard the noise. "Akito?", he asked shocked, as he watched him rampaging. "What is going on here?!" Then he saw Hatori.
"Hatori!", he gasped. Akito was still screeching at me. "It's your fault!", he shouted, "It's all your fault!!!"
Shigure ran over to him and grapped Akito at his shoulders, so that he couldn't attack Hatori or me in his anger. "Kari, take Hatori out of here!", he screamed at me. It was the first and last time that I ever saw the carefree, laid-back Shigure Soma so shocked and terrified. But his words seemed to have awaken me out of my numbness.
"Yes", I nodded, taking Hatori by his shoulders to get him to stand up. "Come on …" While Shigure was struggling with Akito, I helped Hatori out of the room, which was quite complicated, as I was a little woman and he a tall, grown-up man. And he was still bleeding. My blouse looked terrible, full of stains of Hatori's blood, but I couldn't have cared less. I heard Akito's angry screams through the door…
I finally managed to get Hatori into quiet and deserted room far away from Akito, where I could call an ambulance to take him to a hospital. "My fiancé … there was an accident … his eye …", was all I could say. Thankfully, they told me they'd be here in two minutes.
"They're coming", I told Hatori. "Good", he said thankfully. He looked at me, one hand still covering his left eye. "Kari, I –", he tried to say, but I interrupted him. "Just be quiet, please", I told him, my voice cracking with hidden tears. "I am not leaving you alone, not now. And I am going with you to the hospital." The siren of the ambulance made it impossible for Hatori to protest.
We were taken to the hospital. I watched Hatori, as a doctor brought him into a treatment room. I wasn't allowed to go with him. I was just standing there, looking at the door, Akito's voice ringing in my head like a mantra.
"You are worthless to us … It's your fault, it's all your fault!" What if he was right? I had failed Hatori …
After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor finally left the treatment room. He came over to me. "You are the fiancée?", he asked me, having seen me with Hatori before. I nodded. "How is Hatori?", I wanted to know, fear taking hold of me again. "He'll be fine, won't he?" The doctor sighed sympathetically.
"Mr. Soma is fine", he told me. "Except his left eye." He paused for a moment. "We were able to stop the bleeding", he explained. "We also managed to save the eye itself, but … the cut was too deep. There was nothing we could do."
"What do you mean?", I asked, feeling like I was going to be sick. "Are you saying that -" "Hatori Soma will be blind on his left eye", the doctor admitted. "He may be able to differentiate between different shades of black later on, but that's about it." He noticed my horrified face.
"If Hatori loses his sight, it's your fault!" …
"I'm sorry", the doctor interrupted my thoughts. He smiled, obviously in an attempt to comfort me. "Mr. Soma has asked for you", he told. "You can go to him now, if you like." I just nodded. "Thank you."
Slowly, I opened the door to the room. Hatori was sitting on an examination couch, a thick bandage around his eyes. He seemed so weak … So vulnerable … The pain in my heart at seeing him like this, left me speechless. I just wanted to break down and cry …
"Kari?" Hatori looked up, having heard me coming in. "I'm here", I managed to answer. A little smile appeared on Hatori's face. "I knew it", he said. "I recognised the way you walk." I sat down beside him.
"I've talked to the doctor", I said. "I thought so", Hatori replied. He grabbed my hand, feeling it beside his and squeezed it gently. "Kari, listen, I –"
"No!" I couldn't take it any longer. I collapsed into tears, my whole body shaking. Never in my life had I cried that hard …
"I'm sorry", I sobbed. "It is all my fault, your eye … I've broken my promise, I wasn't able to protect you, like I should have been … I failed you … forgive me"
"Stop it!" Hatori put up his hand to wipe away my tears. "Tell me, what becomes of snow when it melts?", he asked me. "What?" I didn't understand. "I don't know … water." "No!", Hatori replied, lovingly touching my cheek. "It becomes spring", he answered and smiled. "You are my spring, Kari. My whole life, I lived, feeling like frozen snow. Until you came along …"
He now cupped my face with his hands, so that I couldn't avoid looking at him. "I love you, Kari. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, my light, my hope …", he said. "What happened today was not your fault. It was the curse, not you, okay? You had nothing to do with it!"
I sniffed. "You really think so?" Hatori kissed me reassuringly. "I know it", he replied. I leaned my head against his chest. "I love you, Hatori …" He patted my head.
I don't know, how long we sat there like that. I had closed my eyes, when the door opened and I could hear Shigure's voice.
"There you are", he said. "I was looking for you two. I thought you might need someone to drive you back home." "Thanks, Shigure", Hatori replied. I got up. Home? Home where Akito was? Akito, who had just made my fiancé blind in one eye?
"I'm thirsty", I said, avoiding their gaze. "I'm going to get us something to drink first." "Kari –", Hatori tried to stop me, but before he could grab me, I had run out of the room.
Outside, I leaned my forehaid against the wall. I was sweating, having trouble breathing.
"Hey." Shigure, standing suddenly behind me, made me turn. "Are you alright?" I didn't know whether to laugh at cry as an answer.
"Hatori, he … he will never see out of his left eye again …", I said instead, chlenching my fists.
"I know", Shigure said softly. "The doctor told me." He paused a second, reading my thoughts. "It was not your fault", I heard his voice. "No one, even Hatori and I, would have ever thought, that Akito would react that violently. There is no way, you could have seen this coming." I didn't look at him. "If it wouldn't have been for me, Hatori would have never gotten in a situation like this."
"You're right", Shigure replied, sarcasm in every tone. "He would be lonely and miserable, like he had been during the last twenty-six years, when you weren't with him. Do you honestly think, that would be so much better?" I suddenly felt very much like screaming.
"Why?", I blurted out. "Why does Akito do this, how can he –"
"Because he's scared", Shigure answered. "He is like a god for us, the members of the zodiac. We have to stay with him because of the curse. That is what Akito thinks at least. His greatest fear is, that we will abandon him. We are his family, his servants and we have to obey his every wish. When he heard that Hatori wanted to marry you, Akito thought, he was going to leave him. That is, why he snapped." I didn't know what to make of all this.
I thought about Rin and Haru. Was that, why they were keeping their relationship secret? Because they knew, how Akito would react, when he'd found out?
"And what happens now?", I asked Shigure. "Should we act like nothing has happened? Like it was just an accident that Hatori can not see out of his left eye anymore? Pretend the curse does not exist?" He smiled. "Stop getting so worked up about this", he told me. "Just be yourself, like before. Be there for Hatori." "Because I'm so great at that", I murmured. "Protecting the one you love is never easy", Shigure replied. We went silent. When a question entered my mind.
"By the way, Shigure, what did you do at the Soma house?", I wanted to know. "I thought you don't live there anymore." He nodded. "Hatori told me about your plans", he answered. "He already thought that Akito might get … upset and asked me to stay close, just in case."
"I see." I turned to the door, to say good-bye to Hatori. "Thank you, Shigure."
We went back inside, where the doctor was checking one last time, Hatori's eye. His bandage now was covering only his injured eye, so that he was able to see with the other one.
"You will get used to it", the doctor told him sympathetically. "If everything goes as planned, you will still be able to drive. You will barely notice that you can't really see out of your left eye." I flinched inwardly. Drive … I hadn't even thought about small things like that …
Shigure drove Hatori back to the Soma house. I hated the idea of him returning to Akito, but Shigure promised me to keep an eye on Hatori. Besides, he had not been the one that Akito had gotten so angry with: It was me. I had been the one, he had wanted to hurt, if Hatori hadn't stopped him. If he hadn't tried to save me … I chose not to think of that …
"I'll visit you first thing tomorrow morning", I told Hatori, as I kissed him good-bye. "Promise me to get some rest." "I will", Hatori nodded. "Don't worry."
I watched him, disappear into the car with the driver that had taken Shigure to the hospital. Never in my life had I felt that miserable. "Don't worry" … It was impossible for me …
When I finally had reached my apartment, the dams broke: I started crying, letting out all the tears and the pain I had hold back until now. I couldn't stop. I was glad, that nobody was there to see me, curled up on my couch, crying my heart out, my eyes puffy. Maybe Hatori and Shigure were right that it had not been my fault. But it felt like it. I would never forget Akito's words …