A/N You know I said there would be fluff? Yeah...not so much. Maybe just a tiny little bit. Now, I have to warn you, this chapter handles some rather adult situations (not the good ones, so don't get too excited!) and is probably an 'M' rated chapter. As I said, not for good smutty reasons. Anyway, this chapter means quite a lot to me on a personal level, so I hope you like it! Well, not like it exactly, but...oh, you know what I mean...

Disclaimer: I did buy the entire DVD collection of Sex and The City. And that really has nothing to do with Cold Case...I don't own either, BTW.

fix·a·tion

1. The act or process of fixing or fixating.

2. An obsessive preoccupation.

3. A strong attachment to a person or thing.

***

Words are doors to the heart. Like a key in the lock, use the specific one and you're in. Say something wrong, or snap the key, and it all goes horribly wrong, so you can never get the damn door open. All because of a few ill chosen words.

So if the door's not working...you try a window.

Scotty could see that folder sitting on the end of her desk. For a moment, he remembered the look on her face as he sat down opposite her earlier that day

"Did you read it?" Lilly asked in a small voice. He shook his head.

"No."

The male detective hid a smile at the mixture of relief, confusion and disbelief on her face.

"You didn't read it," she echoed in soft surprise.

And that had been it. The look of total relief and gratefulness on her face had torn right through him, reminding him of what he very nearly lost. In that moment, Scotty both realised that his feelings ran far deeper than they were supposed to, and reached a decision about their floundering relationship. They'd start again.

Stopping beside her desk, Scotty cleared his throat.

"Hey, Lil?"

"Yes?" she replied guardedly, unsure as to whether he was about to rip into her. Even after reaching an unspoken understanding, there was still a whole load of crap between them just waiting to be resolved. He studied her for a moment.

"Did you mean what you said?" he asked quietly.

"Scotty..." she began.

"I gotta know, Lil. 'Cause I'm so fuckin' confused, I ain't sure what you want from me."

Her heart ached in hurt and regret.

"I'm not sure either, Scotty."

"So then what are we supposed to do?"

"I...we...I..."

Lilly trailed off with a sigh. He wheeled his chair around to sit beside her. Scotty reached for her, before hesitating and withdrawing his hand. The look of hurt that flashed across her face made him pause, and he gently tangled his fingers around hers.

Scotty raised his eyes to hers, feeling his heart swell at the half-smile hanging from the corner of her mouth.

"Lil," he said softly. She looked up, her smile finally reaching her eyes.

"Scotty."

The male detective spoke again, his voice low. He absently stroked circles on her hand, captivated by the smooth skin beneath his fingers.

"I know this guy...and he's been a real jerk to his partner when she needed him. You see, uh, he, uh, really, REALLY cares about her, and, uh...well, this guy I know, he, uh, jus' wanted her to stop hurting."

A tiny hint of amusement, the first hint of the old Lilly he'd seen in weeks, crept onto her face.

"Well, how about that. I think I might know that guy's partner, and from what I've heard, she sorta deserved to be treated that way."

"So...what should this guy do?" Scotty asked uncertainly. Lilly squeezed his hand.

"I think he's probably doing it."

Scotty smiled in relief, wheeling his chair closer.

"Don't go to a hotel," he said quietly, brushing his fingers over her neck. Lilly's breath caught in her throat, and leant into his touch.

"OK," she stammered, letting her eyes fall shut.

"Have dinner with me."

Lilly frowned.

"I was planning to," she replied in confusion. The male detective grinned.

"Nah, Lil. I meant a proper dinner. You, me, a nice restaurant."

Her smile faded.

"Like a date?" she said uncertainly. Scotty's heart plummeted. Way to go, Valens. Go ahead an' fuck up already. He took a deep breath.

"No," he began bravely, "not unless you wanna make it a date?"

Lilly hesitated, glancing up at him. Scotty pressed her hands together, wrapping his own around hers.

"Do you want it to be a date, Lil?"

"Well…well…what do YOU want?" the blonde replied cautiously. Scotty grinned at the non-answer. It was as if she was waiting, almost wanting to say yes, but needed him to say it first, and that thought made him want to dance with happiness.

"I want 'us' to work, Lil. An' I get that this ain't the best time, so I'm willin' to take this as slow as you need."

The blonde detective thought for a moment, taking in his words in an overwhelmed silence.

"So what now?" she asked eventually.

"Right now? I want to eat. With you. At that Cuban place near your house." His partner cracked a smile, the discomfort dissipating as she looked up at him.

"You mean near what's left of my house," she teased. Scotty groaned.

"Aw, shit, Lil. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's too early to eat," his partner interrupted gently, the teasing smile hanging around her lips. Scotty chuckled, taking that as the end of the conversation, and stood back as Lilly brushed past him.

"Alright, smartass." She slipped her hand out of his, aware of her partner's eyes lingering on her slim frame.

"Hey, Lil. You never answered my question," he said softly. The blonde sighed.

"Scotty…"

"Lil, it's OK. Dinner's jus' dinner between…friends."

Lilly raised a doubtful eyebrow.

"Friends?" Could they be friends if they ignored the 'having sex' part? Scotty nodded slowly.

"Yeah, friends. An' what happens after that? I guess that's up to you."

A crooked smile reappeared at the corner of her mouth.

"We're gonna have to talk about...it at some point, you know," she pointed out. Her partner chuckled, nudging her with his elbow.

"I know. But you gotta admit, Lil...we did do it pretty damn well."

The fuzzy feeling at the bottom of his stomach was almost unbearable. It was like a fire, consuming him from the inside out. Every thought, every breath, was filled with the memory of her soft warm body pressed tight against his. Scotty felt a familiar stirring in his loins, remembering the way her face had contorted as he brought her to completion. He was lucky everyone else had gone home; he'd hate to have to explain why he was starting to pitch a tent in his pants.

Scotty knew he'd never get anywhere unless he relieved some of the tension eating away at his insides. He stood up just as the woman in question returned from the bathroom.

"Hey," he said. She smiled softly.

"Hi."

Catching her hand, Scotty tugged at her wrist, gently leading her behind the filing cabinets. Lilly gasped, quickly turning it into a soft moan as her partner covered her lips with his. Wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, Lilly pulled him tight against her. When they finally broke apart, Scotty enveloped her in a tight hug.

"You're not playing by the rules, Valens," she said, her face turned into the crook of his neck. He chuckled.

"I know, and from now on, I'll be leavin' all o' the rule breakin' up to you, but it just feels so good to know I can do that."

Lilly blushed, smiling up at him.

"If you were looking for a way into my underwear, I think you've just found it," she replied. Scotty grinned cockily.

"Oh yeah? I thought I had a free pass into your panties, Rush."

"You wish. Talking of underwear, can we hit the store on the way home? I'm sorta starting to stink."

The male detective sniffed her hair, trailing his nose down her neck to reach the plane of her shoulder.

"You smell fine," he teased. Lilly narrowed her eyes.

"Thin line, Valens. Now take me to the store. I'm fed up of looking like a confused cross-dresser."

Lilly still had a smile on her face as the automatic doors slid shut behind her. Dammit, Scotty. You just had to go and make me lo... She managed to cut her inner voice off just in time, knowing if she started thinking that, then there would be no going back. Scotty's grinning face popped into her mind, and she was suddenly back in the car.

"Drop me off here."

"Why?" Scotty asked in confusion.

"Because it's Wal-Mart, and I have nothing to wear. In case you've forgotten, all my clothes were deep fried," the blonde detective pointed out.

"But I hate shoppin'!"

"Stop whining. You can wait in the car."

A loud crash made her jump, and Lilly spun around, her heart leaping into her throat. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing a young girl pulling a cart away from the shelving unit. Taking a few breaths to calm her racing nerves, the blonde detective hid her hands in the pockets of her sweater, walking slightly faster towards the clothing section.

Lilly took a deep breath, wishing that Scotty was with her, and desperately trying to shake the feeling that her week was about to reach an all time low.

"You couldn't have just come in with me?" she muttered, jumping as a door flew open, slamming into the wall next to her. She felt an arm grab her waist, and was suddenly dragged into the store room.

"How's the jaw, Lilly?"

"You son of a bitch..." she gasped, not even standing a chance against his solid frame. Hot breath on her cheek made her stomach churn, and she upped her struggle to break free.

"Now I got a chance to finish what I started, but this time, little girl, I'm gonna make you scream," he hissed in her ear.

Lilly elbowed his stomach, wincing as a hand clamped over her mouth. He threw her to the ground. Her head collided with the concrete, and Lilly cried out in pain. She felt his thighs either side of her hips, heard the buckle of his belt, the zipper on his jeans, felt the...

"You were such a pretty girl," he crooned, stroking a finger down her cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, pushing at the hands that were struggling with her hooded top.

"I never forgot you, Lilly," he whispered, covering her mouth with his hand. She screamed for help, the noise lost in his palm. He tore the jumper from her, leaving her in nothing but her bra. Tears poured from her eyes, and Lilly looked up at him in horror. Her attacker sat back on her hips, slipping his fingers beneath the elasticised waistband.

"All I wanted was for you to talk to me, Lilly," he said conversationally, "but ten-year-old Lilly Rush was too good for talking."

He began to push the joggers over her hips, and Lilly bit back another scream, waiting for the inevitable...

...but the weight was suddenly lifted, and she heard the unmistakeable growl of her partner.

"I'll kill you!"

Scotty appeared from nowhere, grabbing the man about to rape his partner and throwing him to the other side of the store room. Lilly hugged her knees to her chest, curling up against the cold concrete. She heard the unmistakeable smack of metal hitting skin, and squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'll fuckin' kill you, you son of a bitch!" Scotty roared, beating the crap out of the man on the floor. Then everything changed. Scotty swore as a hand clamped around his leg, dragging him to the floor. The male detective winced as Lilly's attacker scrambled away, struggling to his feet and lunging towards the blonde lying immobile on the ground.

Lilly suddenly found herself yanked upright, and her eyes shot open.

"Scotty..." she whimpered, using her last ounce of strength in a final struggle to break free. Scotty dragged himself to a standing position.

"Let her go!" he yelled. He drew his gun, finger hovering over the trigger. The man slid a hand around to stroke her stomach, and Scotty watched his partner shake in terror, hearing her barely concealed sobs. Her captor raised her top, sliding his hand lower down her body. He grinned.

"Looks like we'll have to take yet another rain check, Lilly," he whispered. The male detective raised his weapon.

"Let her go," he said shakily. The hand moved lower, and Lilly bit her lip until it bled.

"I won't stop, Lilly. Not until I get what I want."

Scotty could take the shot. He could take the shot, and shoot to kill. But if Lilly moved her head an inch to the left...His finger hesitated above the trigger, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Lilly raised her eyes to his.

"It's OK, Scotty," she said, the calmness of her voice belying the tears on her cheeks. Scotty's hands trembled.

"Don't make me do it, Lil," he whispered, his voice cracking. She smiled tremulously, nodding slightly.

"Take the shot," she replied, equally as softly. Scotty raised his weapon, his finger sliding back around the trigger.

"Don't do it, Detective!" the other man screamed, his face contorting in fury, "What if you miss? What if little Lilly here ends up with your round in her head? You wouldn't take the risk!"

A sudden stream of heavy footsteps and raised voices reached their ears, causing Scotty to glance over his shoulder in concern.

"So the cavalry's arrived," the man whispered into Lilly's ear, causing her to struggle against him. He roughly turned her head towards him, forcing a hard kiss to her lips. Lilly tore her mouth away, wincing at the sharp pain in her head. Her attacker dragged her backwards.

"I think that's my cue," he said teasingly. Scotty tightened his grip on his gun.

"Let her go, asshole," he growled. Keeping one arm wrapped around Lilly's waist, he moved backwards, reaching behind him to open the door on the far side of the storage room.

"I will...for now. But remember that I'm sticking around until I get her."

Stepping through the door, he breathed in the smell of her hair, smirking evilly over her head at the fuming detective. Three things seemed to happen at once. A single gunshot echoed through the room. Her attacker shoved her into the centre of the store room, and Lilly suddenly found herself falling to the ground, the unpleasant presence disappearing out into the dark night.

Time seemed to slow. Her body once again met with the cold concrete, only this time, she made no move to get up. She brought her knees to her chest, lying on the floor and letting tears drip from her cheeks. Scotty took a few steps towards her, dropping his gun to the ground. He moved to touch her, but she shrank away from his hand, crying out in fear. Scotty flinched, pain wrenching through his heart.

"Lil..."

"Don't," she whispered, so softly he almost missed it. With a hitched breath, he sank to the ground a few feet away from her, shrugging out of his jacket and placing it between them. After a moment, Lilly wiped the tears from her chin, slowly snaking out a hand to drag the jacket towards her. Wrapping it around her, she breathed in the softly reassuring smell that surrounded her.

Stillman burst through the door, closely followed by Jeffries and Vera. They all stopped short at the sight before them- Lilly, almost unrecognizable in her near catatonic state, and Scotty, sitting miles away from her. Seeing his boss in the doorway, Scotty glanced over at his partner, and pulled himself to his feet. Stillman watched the younger detective move slowly towards him.

"What happened?" he asked gently. Scotty shook his head.

"We...Lil wanted clothes...he...I fought...he...Lil..."

Whatever he had been about to say was lost as a wave of nausea washed over him. He tried again.

"Her...he...49..."

The memory of that man on top of Lilly, degrading her, violating her, raping her in every way except the obvious, sprang to his mind, and Scotty felt his knees buckle. As he crumbled, the contents of his stomach splashed onto the floor, his violent retches tearing through his body. Vera and Jeffries exchanged horrified glances, their eyes flicking between the man kneeling in front of them and their concerned boss.

Stillman crossed the room, crouching down beside Lilly and touching her shoulder. Her muffled scream wasn't lost on any of them, and the lieutenant hastily removed his hand, her reaction giving him all the answers he needed. Scotty's jacket slid from her shoulder, and Stillman stifled a gasp as he noticed that she was wearing nothing but her bra beneath the slowly came back to the men, the tightening of his jaw a sign of how angry he was.

"Find him," he said simply, his tone purveying far more than the simple words.

Scotty was vaguely aware of Vera and Jeffries leaving, and Stillman's breath hitching as he moved back, and a trembling hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, fingers gently running through the soft black hair. Scotty felt tears prick his eyes, and he wiped his mouth, slowly climbing to his feet. They stared at each other for what seemed like years, until Lilly took a step back, hugging his jacket tighter around her.

"I want to go home," she whispered, her voice breaking. She looked away, tears spilling down her cheeks. Scotty tentatively touched her little finger, and when she didn't flinch, took the whole of her hand in his.

"Why didn't you tell me, Lil? Why didn't you tell me it was him?"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Lilly dissolved into tears, and Scotty felt his heart break.

"I ain't gonna hurt you, Lil. You know that, right?" he said in a low voice. She nodded numbly.

"I know."

She moved towards him, seeming so small and defeated that the male detective thought he might throw up again.

"Lil..." he said uncertainly, keeping his hands well clear of her trembling frame.

"Please..."

Her whispered word was all the encouragement he needed. Scotty pulled her tight against his body in a fierce hug. He slid an arm around her shoulders, snaking a hand up to tangle in her blonde hair as he cradled her head against his chest.

Stillman knew they'd probably forgotten he was still there. For the first time, the lieutenant saw exactly how much damage George had done. His eyes travelled from her toes up to her scruffy ponytail. The bruise around her eye and jaw were carefully hidden by cleverly applied make-up, and the stitches in her head were barely visible. Scotty looked over his partner's head, frowning slightly.

"How'd you know?" he asked quietly. It took Stillman a moment to realise the question was aimed at him. He withdrew a small card from his pocket.

"You dropped this."

The male detective felt his frown deepen. It was his business card, one that had obviously fallen from his coat pocket. Stillman went on to explain.

"Shop assistant saw Lilly taken in there, saw you run in a few minutes later. He picked this up, phoned dispatch, and explained. Vera was listening to the scanner."

Lilly turned her head into his neck, her damp face cold against his heated skin. Her movement caught Scotty's attention. He took a deep breath.

"I'm taking her home," he said slowly. Stillman nodded.

"You do what you have to do."

"Will do, boss."

"Scotty, I mean it. You do what you have to do," he repeated meaningfully.

Scotty nodded in understanding. You do what you have to do. A smart man's 'Do what it takes'. A smart man's 'Screw the law'.

"I'll let you know."

With a final glance over them, Stillman disappeared into the store, leaving his two detectives trying to hold themselves together. Lilly trembled in his arms, and Scotty smoothed his jacket down her back.

"I'll get him, Lil," he whispered, "I promise."

And even though she didn't say anything, Lilly believed him.

He wasn't even sure if she had been in the car with him on the drive home. All he remembered was thanking God that he hadn't arrived a moment later, and thanking himself for persuading her to continue staying with him. Lilly hadn't spoken a word since leaving the store. She'd headed straight for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door before he had a chance to do anything. That had been almost an hour ago.

Scotty tapped on the bathroom door.

"It's me. Open up," he said softly. Soft sobs reached his ears, and he knocked more urgently on the door. "Lilly, open the door."

The shower was still running, and cold fear crawled up inside him.

"Open the door, Lilly!" he shouted, pounding on the wood. There was no reply from inside, and Scotty pressed his palm flat against the door.

"Get away from the door, Lil. I'm coming in."

It only took three kicks to smash the lock on the bathroom door. Scotty's breath hitched as he caught sight of his partner sitting naked on the floor of the shower cubicle. He slowly moved towards her.

"Lilly?"

She barely acknowledged him, only hugging her knees tighter to her chest. The male detective stuck his hand under the water, almost crying out as he realised it was freezing cold. He reached up to turn it off, before streams of red caught his eye. Scotty crouched down beside her, his eyes running over her. Finding the source of the blood, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Your head's bleeding," he said gently, unpeeling her arms from her knees. He grabbed a towel from the side, carefully wrapping it around his partner's shivering frame.

"Got to get clean," she murmured, "Got to get clean."

The male detective slowly rubbed the towel up and down her arms, praying to God that she wasn't too far gone over the edge.

"I know, Lil," he whispered in reply, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head.

"So cold..."

Scotty grabbed another towel, a larger one, covering his partner in it and helping her to a standing position. Lilly winced at the pain in her head, and she swayed on the spot for a moment.

"I'll get you some clothes," he said. Once again, there was no reply. Scotty looked down at her, his heart breaking as he saw the fear in her eyes and the tears spilling over her eyelids.

"Lil..." he said helplessly.

"I was so scared, Scotty," she cried. Leaving one arm wrapped tightly around her back, Scotty opened the bathroom door, before moving to sit down on the bed and pulling her into his lap. Lilly released a soft sob, tears dripping from her cheeks onto his shirt.

Scotty hugged her tightly, resting his cheek on the top of her head, carefully avoiding her head wound.

"It's OK...it's OK..." he murmured over and over.

If there was one thing more terrifying than a second attempt on his partner's life, he realised, it was seeing said partner shaking uncontrollably and crying into the material of his shirt. He held her until Lilly raised her head from his shoulder.

"Cold," she repeated in a small voice. The male detective carefully moved her onto the bed, grabbing the bed covers and tucking them around her.

"I'll be right back," he murmured, instinctively dropping a soft kiss to her forehead. Warmth spread from his lips, and for the first time that evening, Lilly felt the slightest hint of an idea of a smile pass through her mind. As promised, he was gone and back again before she could blink, holding a pair of his pyjama pants and a t-shirt.

"Here."

"Thanks," she replied, reaching out to take them from him. She blinked in surprise. "They're warm."

"Radiator."

"Smart."

Scotty smiled slightly, watching as Lilly unfolded the clothes. He turned away, listening as he tried to follow her changing clothes.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked tentatively, knowing the answer before he'd finished the question.

"No."

"You gonna let me know if you change your mind?"

The teasing tone was not lost on her, and Lilly felt some of the darkness ease away.

"Because reliving it is the best course of action," she replied sarcastically. Even though the situation was dire, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to help his partner, Scotty couldn't help but chuckle.

"OK, Lil."

She coughed, rubbing her throat.

"You can turn around now."

"There anythin' you need?"

"Painkillers," she replied, wincing as her hand found the wound on the back of her head. Scotty nodded.

"I'm gonna make something to eat. You wanna stay in..."

"NO!" Lilly cried quickly, "Don't leave me on my own!"

"Hey," he soothed, crouching down in front of her and forcing her eyes to meet his, "I ain't leavin', Lil."

Tearing her eyes away, Lilly blushed, letting him take her hand and lead her towards the living room. Scotty watched as she lowered herself to the sofa, crossing her legs and pulling the blanket around her shoulders.

"I'm gonna get you some Tylenol, OK?" he said softly. Lilly nodded.

"OK."

He knew exactly where they were, so in less time than it would have normally taken him, he was standing nearby.

"You need anythin' else?"

"No."

His heart plummeted, and he tried to ignore the stab of pain in his chest. Don't take it personally, moron. She was almost raped, dumbass. He turned away, preparing to head into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"I was ten."

At the barely audible voice from the sofa, Scotty froze. He turned back slowly, staring straight into his partner's startlingly clear blue eyes.

"I was ten...when that...bad thing happened to me," she whispered. Scotty sat down next to her.

"You don't have to do this, Lil."

Lilly nodded.

"Yeah I do, Scotty."

"But I ain't so sure I can listen, Lil," he said in a low voice, tentatively wrapping an arm around her slim back. When she didn't object, he drew her closer, and Lilly tucked her head under his chin.

"You're stronger than I am, Scotty."

He hugged her as tightly as he thought he could get away with, considering the events of the past hour.

"No, I ain't, Lil. I ain't as strong as you."

"Yes, you are. I wouldn't have been able to take the shot."

"But I missed, Lil. I fuckin' missed."

"You still took the shot, Scotty. You took a chance."

The calmness in her voice astounded him, and he released a shaky sigh.

"You were ten," he echoed quietly. Lilly smiled against his skin, and began to speak.

"It was dark, and my mother..."

How long was that chapter? :O I hope you didn't think that was too bad. I'd really appreciate any reviews you care to leave, and as always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! So are chocolate brownies. If they're bein' offered...