A/N I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I really had some serious personal stuff to sort out. I hope this chapter makes up for it- we have smut! Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case, or anything to do with it.

de·ple·tion

1. The act or process of depleting.

2. The state of being depleted; exhaustion.

3. The use or consumption of a resource, especially a natural resource such as energy, faster than it is replenished.

***

Scotty collapsed against the wall outside the bedroom, resting his head back against the closed door. She had told him. She had told him about her 49 report, and now he wish he didn't know. All those things he'd said...the way he'd yelled at her, rubbed what this sick pervert did to the little girls in her face...and all along she knew. Not only knew, but knew first hand.

Tears of guilt sprang to his eyes, the smell of her flooding the air around him. She had been curled up against him, innocently breaking his heart as she spoke. He raised a fist to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles to contain the outburst of emotion that threatened to break him.

Lilly chuckled softly, snuggling into the crook of his arm.

"Will you relax?" she murmured, "You're making me nervous."

Scotty relaxed slightly, pressing his face to the top of her head.

"Sorry."

"Scotty, look at me," Lilly commanded gently. He pulled back to meet her concerned gaze. Seeing the knowing glance she was aiming at him, he quickly tore his eyes away. She turned his head back towards her.

"Why are you so scared of touching me, Scotty?"

He swallowed, edging away from her and making it to the other side of the room.

"I...uh...I...you..."

"You think I'm damaged goods now? You don't want me anymore?" Lilly said, her suppressed anger bubbling up and spilling over. Scotty looked up in shock, his eyes darkening.

"No! I just..."

"Just what, Valens?"

The last name was never a good sign. He looked away, shame colouring his cheeks. Lilly watched him run his hands through his hair. She saw him move to clench his fist, saw him think twice and lower his hand. It was that vaguely concealed action that made her realise his problem.

"You're not scared of hurting me..." she said in a hushed voice, "you're scared of how much you wanted to hurt him."

Scotty blinked back tears.

"I woulda killed him, Lil. I was so close...so close to beatin' him, makin' him feel what..."

"Making him feel what the victims felt," Lilly finished. Her partner's head shot up, his eyes narrowing.

"No, not the victims, Lilly! YOU! What he made you feel!"

She managed to hide her flinch, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"You're not like him, Scotty," she whispered, hugging the blanket tighter around her. Scotty swiped a hand over his eyes.

"Ain't you gotta story to tell?" he muttered, signalling the end of that particular conversation thread.

"Only if you get your ass back over here," Lilly replied sharply. Nodding, Scotty sat back beside her, and she rested against him. She tucked her head under his chin. He slowly pressed a kiss to her hairline, feeling her tiny smile against his neck.

"Better?" he asked.

"Better."

Lilly cleared her throat. Taking a moment to prepare her opening statement, she closed her eyes.

"It was a Wednesday. I remember because the benefit money had arrived," she began with a humourless smile. Her partner twitched nervously, and Lilly placed her hand on his stomach to calm the anxiety she could feel stiffening his frame.

"I put Chris to bed, like I did most nights, and I cleaned up, and I did my homework. Mom...Mom was on the sofa."

She shivered, a distance evident in her voice, one that told Scotty she was right back in that house, reliving every second of her memory.

"She called me in, pressed a $20 into my hand. Told me that I was her little angel," Lilly said bitterly, "So I went. It was late. The shop was...the shop was about a ten minute walk away. I ran. Got a stitch in my side. I...I stopped...stopped to rest, and then..."

Her voice trailed off. Scotty waited, not wanting to speak until he was certain she'd finished.

"He knew my name, Scotty. He started...walking towards me. I ran, but he chased me, and then there's nowhere to run...he kept telling me to scream, scream, Lilly, scream, but I didn't. I didn't."

Tears were crawling slowly down her cheeks, her eyes fixed on a point on the wall.

"He hit me. Over and over again," she sobbed, tangling her fingers around his shirt in the hope that it would make everything better, "and he wants me to scream, but I don't. I tried to fight, Scotty, I did, but..."

She couldn't stop the tears anymore, and Scotty carefully pulled her into his lap, momentarily forgetting his problem with physical contact.

"It's OK," he whispered soothingly, "it's OK."

But of course it wasn't OK. He'd said it in the hope that maybe he could reassure himself. They'd sat on the sofa until Lilly had cried herself to sleep. Even as he had carried her sleeping form to the bedroom- his bedroom, because this was one night he didn't want her to spend alone- her sobs were already beginning to echo in his ears.

Scotty pushed open the door again, determined not to let her suffer under his watch anymore. At first glance, his bed wasn't very big. Seeing the small figure curled up under the covers, Scotty realised that his bed was actually huge. He leant against the doorframe, watching the shaky rise and fall of her chest.

Just as he pulled the bedroom door to for the second time, leaving it open enough for the room to be bathed in a dim light, there was a soft knocking at the front entrance. Fighting the temptation to check on Lilly a third time, Scotty jogged to open the door, frowning.

"Boss. Do we have a lead?" he asked. Stillman shook his head, and the male detective stood aside to let his boss in.

"Not yet, but we got DNA from the blood in the store room."

Scotty nodded slowly.

"Any hits?"

"Not yet. We're working on it," Stillman replied gravely.

"You, uh, wanna sit for a while?" Scotty asked. The lieutenant nodded, sinking down onto the sofa. Scotty perched on the edge of the armchair, casting occasional glances towards the bedroom.

"So what's goin' on, boss?"

"Vera took a call on Lil's work line," he began slowly. Scotty looked up, the vein in his forehead pulsing menacingly.

"Him."

Stillman nodded again.

"We think so. Didn't stick around long enough for us to trace the call. Vera damn near threw the phone across the room."

"You think he knows she's here?"

"No way to tell, Scotty."

Silence stretched between them.

"How's she doing? Stillman asked after a moment. The younger detective sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"She's sleepin'. Cried herself to sleep. She...it...I don't think we can save her from this, boss."

Stillman observed him quietly, seeing the dark pain in his eyes, a different kind of pain that hadn't been there before.

"She told you, didn't she?" he said quietly. Scotty looked away, his jaw stiffening.

"Yeah," he choked out. The older man waited, knowing that his detective was fighting both his demons and the monsters that terrorized his partner.

"It was exactly the same, boss. That sicko...an' Lil..." Tears appeared in his eyes. "She looked so damn small, boss. Lyin' there on the floor...she was ten years old again."

His voice cracked, and Stillman sighed.

"Scotty, I don't know what's going on between you two, and I have a feeling I don't really want to know, but what I do know is that I've never seen Lilly rely on someone as much as she's relying on you."

Scotty took a deep breath, hastily wiping a hand over his face and clearing his throat.

"What's in the bag?" he asked. Stillman handed it over.

"I picked up some new clothes for Lil. They should fit."

"Thanks, boss."

"They're just clothes, Scotty."

The detective chuckled softly.

"I know, boss. I meant thanks for...for everythin'," he said softly. Stillman nodded, standing up.

"No problem, Scotty. Just...look after her."

"Always."

Stillman glanced towards the bedroom door, and shook his head.

"Take tomorrow. Both of you. Do something...normal."

"Normal?" Scotty said, the amusement in his voice a refreshing change to the dark despair that had been heard over the last few weeks. His boss chuckled, moving towards the front door and opening it.

"I'll leave you to it. Goodnight, Scotty."

"'Night, boss."

The screams started before he'd even had a chance to sit down again. He ran into the bedroom, hitting the light switch as he passed by. The bulb blew with a pop, and Scotty swore when the room was plunged into murky darkness. Lilly's hysterical sobs grew more intense as he sat down on the bed. It didn't take a genius to work out which part of her ordeal she'd been reliving.

"Lil...Lilly, it's only me. It's OK..." he said in a soft voice, touching her waist. Scotty winced as her flailing hand collided with his jaw. The solid surface beneath her hand seemed to jolt Lilly from her nightmare, and she sat bolt upright in the bed. She stared at him for a moment, her fingers tracing the contours of his face. Realizing that it was nothing but a dream, Lilly crawled into his arms and let her emotional barriers fall. Her body trembled under the force of her sobs.

What seemed like hours later, he felt her go limp in his arms, and waited a moment to see if she'd wake. When his partner made no move, Scotty lowered her to the bed, wrapping her in the sheets. Lilly shivered slightly, huddling further down under the covers, her eyes flying open.

The fear of suddenly not being in his arms receded slightly when her eyes came to rest on him. Scotty smoothed her hair away from her face, tenderly stroking her back. Lilly took a deep breath.

"Stay," she whispered. His smile faded, and a frown creased his forehead.

"I can't, Lil."

Lilly sat up slightly, reaching for his hand.

"Why?" she asked in confusion.

"It ain't right," he replied. The frustration was evident on her face as she replied.

"You obviously brought me in here for a reason, Scotty. Maybe I should have taken that hotel room after all."

"NO!" he exclaimed suddenly. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, until Lilly spoke again.

"Scotty, why do you keep turning me away? You said you were leaving all the rule breaking up to me. Well...I want to break the rules, Scotty, but you keep changing your mind."

"Lil..."

"Why?" she demanded softly. His voice came out hoarse and broken.

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

She couldn't think of a reply, and tore her eyes away so he wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill. Scotty crossed to the other side of the room, running a hand through his hair. Lilly hugged her knees to her chest, lying down and curling up beneath the covers.

"Go to sleep, Scotty," she whispered sadly. He leant back against the far wall, watching her close her eyes.

"I was scared, Lil," he said quietly. Her eyes remained closed, but he continued anyway. "I was so scared that I was too late, because he...you..."

Scotty took a deep breath, forcing the words out and praying to God that she'd hear them.

"I missed the shot. I fuckin' missed the goddamn shot! An' now he's...you trusted me, an' I let you down, Lil. I shoulda gone wit' you into the store, an' then maybe..." His voice trailed off. "I know how hard it was for you to tell me about your 49, Lil, but..."

"But now you wish you didn't know," came the small voice from the bed. He closed his eyes, reaching for the door handle.

"Let me know if you need anythin'."

It turns out that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. And, as Scotty was finding out, when the heart wants something, the rest of the body has no choice but to obey. He stretched his legs out on the floor in front of him. He'd promised himself that Lilly wouldn't be left alone, but the tension inside the room had become too much to bear, and he'd settled for the next best thing...sitting on the floor outside the door.

Lilly whimpered softly, and Scotty knew that it wouldn't be long before another nightmare had her screaming and turning to him for safety. Moving silently, the male detective stood up, pushing open the bedroom door, and creeping across to the bed. He sat down beside his partner, her knees resting against his hip.

Scotty swept a strand of hair from Lilly's face, twirling it carefully around his fingers. He studied it, watching it shift from blonde to white and back again. He became so engrossed in the lock of hair, Scotty failed to notice the pair of blue eyes that were now staring up at him.

"Hi," Lilly breathed. Her partner pulled his hand back as if he had been burnt. Scotty swallowed.

"I'm…"

The end of his reasoning was cut off as Lilly sat up, her nose bumping against his as she kissed him. After one of the longest minutes of his life, Scotty pulled back, closing his eyes in regret.

"We can't..."

"Why? I want this, Scotty. I need this," Lilly replied softly, her eyes imploring him to stay. Her words threw all the doubt from his mind, and the male detective didn't waste any more time, placing his hands on her waist and gently lowering her back to the bed. The male detective leant over her, deepening the kiss. Lilly smiled against his lips, her fingers resting at the back of his neck.

With a sharp jerk, Lilly pulled him down so that he was laying half on top of her, half beside her. Scotty chuckled, lifting the hem of her t-shirt to brush his hand over her skin. Beneath him, his partner shifted, aligning every part of their bodies. He felt himself spring to attention, the hardness quickly becoming unbearable. The kisses they shared were hot, intense, nothing short of miracles. Scotty tugged at her top. Smiling, Lilly dragged her lips away from his, looking up at him. Her partner stared down at her, waiting for her to tell him to continue.

When the blonde detective continued to look at him for a moment too long, her smile fading slightly, Scotty rolled his eyes.

"If we ain't gonna do this, you better let me know now, Lil," he growled.

"Impatient," she teased breathlessly. He attacked her lips passionately, lifting the material over her head, tossing it to the floor. Tracing her hands over his chest, Lilly's nimble fingers wandered down his body and set to work on the drawstring of his pyjama pants. Her fingers brushed against his erection, and Scotty groaned. Lilly felt her eyes widen.

"Wow. This is almost impressive, Valens," she quipped in a husky voice. Scotty pressed his leg between her thighs, smirking at the heat emanating from her core.

"Way to stroke a guy's ego, Lil," he replied, catching her lips in a passionate kiss. Her hands pushed the pants from his hips, snaking her tongue out to stroke his. Now they were skin to skin, and it made Lilly's mind turn circles.

Feeling her moan softly against his lips, Scotty slid his hand down her body, brushing over her breasts, and down to the lace rim of her panties. Her breath caught in her throat, and he slid a finger beneath the material to stroke her.

Lilly whimpered into his mouth. Scotty smiled against her lips, slipping his finger into her core. His partner managed to tear her mouth away from his to cry out in ecstasy. He painted pictures on her walls, driving her closer and closer to the edge with each touch.

"Fuck..." she hissed, clutching at his slick shoulders. Scotty chuckled, adding another finger and starting to pump them in and out.

"You're so wet," he whispered into her ear, and her whimper of reply did nothing but cause him to grow harder. Using his free hand, he removed the panties, tossing them to the floor as he rubbed her clit with the pad of his thumb. His partner felt the pressure begin to mount.

"Scotty!" she cried. Grinning, he dragged his hand away from the heart of her, drawing it up to her breast. Lilly moaned at the loss of contact.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, Scotty looked down at her, taking in the radiant blush spreading across her cheeks. His eyes wandered downwards, his smile fading as he studied her. Seeing his expression, Lilly stroked his cheek, frowning slightly.

"What?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered. A smile spread appeared on her face, and she brought his lips back to hers. His erection brushed against her bare thigh, and Lilly groaned at its weight on her leg.

"Please, Scotty..." she begged. His tongue ran over her bruised lip, the metallic taste bitter in his mouth. He broke away, nudging her forehead with his.

"Be right back," he murmured, disappearing into the bathroom. Propping herself up on one, Lilly watched him vanish from sight, listening to the sound of the cupboard opening and closing. Fully sheathed, he quickly slid back into the bed beside her. Scotty rolled her onto her back, leaning over and smiling down at her. He ran a hand down her naked side, and a shiver followed the path of his hand. Bringing her to him, the detective placed a loving kiss to her lips, so soft that it left Lilly burning for more.

Scotty gently eased himself into her, pressing a soft trail of kisses along her jaw line and up to the spot beneath her ear. She bit her bottom lip, stifling her cry of pleasure by burying her face in his neck. He filled her completely, stretching her walls and taking up more than his fair share of her senses. Lilly turned her head to meet his lips, snaking her hands around to stroke his back. A groan caught in her throat as he pulled out to his tip, and she fidgeted distractedly. Scotty chuckled, holding himself above her entrance.

"You sure you wanna do this, Lil?" he teased. His partner smiled against his lips, raising her hips to meet his.

"Yes," she replied in a husky voice. The male detective got the hint, and slid back into her until he was buried to the hilt.

"Holy shit," he moaned.

"Move," Lilly demanded breathlessly.

So he did, slow, luxurious movements that sent shivers racing through her every time their hips collided. Lilly's breathy gasps punctuated the steady rhythm, and she drew his head back to kiss him again. His tongue swept the roof of her mouth, his heart softening at the taste he had come to know as pure Lilly- the taste of which he could never get enough.

Scotty seemed to apologize with every pass of his lips over hers, every stroke of his fingers across her skin. Lilly wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing for. The last time, before she freaked out, they had moved together out of anger, fucking each together until they literally melted into one.

This time...this time they really were making love.

OK, so it's 3am, and I can't sleep. This is the result. Fluff, smut, angst, all thrown in to one. OK? Maybe you could leave me a review to cheer me up?