Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story with the exception of
Ms. Morgan Harte. Saban owns the Power Rangers.
Authors Note: I definitely need to thank some people for all their help with this
chapter... Eurydice, Shelly, Dawn, Cheryl, and anyone else who has helped me
to get through this never-ending chapter.
Dedication: I would sadly like to dedicate this chapter to my wonderful
Grandmother (3/19/19 to 6/18/00) and to one of my best friends Jenny
(who fought for her life and lost, on 7/5/00). Both will be missed very much.*
Tortured Souls
Chapter Six: Perfect
By: Mary "Signkat" and Collaborators
Jason and Trini anxiously stood with John next to the team trailer as a
white 4x4 pulled up near them. They all smiled as the familiar faces of
their friends came into view.
"Well, there you guys are. We were beginning to wonder where you snuck off
to!" Jason teased as the pair made their way over to join the trio.
"We were going to ask you two the same thing! You didn't waste any time
leaving the club last night, did you? If I didn't know better, I'd almost
think we were set up!" rebounded Tommy with a quirky grin.
"Tommy," his uncle broke in, "there are a few things I need to go over
with you before we head down for the warm-up laps." John motioned for his
nephew to follow.
"Right - I have to go change anyway. I'll be back in a few minutes guys!"
Kim watched until he disappeared around the trailer, before turning to
face her best friends. Offering them an apologetic smile, she said, "Sorry
for ditching you guys like that last night, but Tommy and I needed to talk."
The once-Yellow Ranger hadn't missed the happiness in her voice, or the
T-shirt which she wore. "Ah, I thought I remembered that flannel shirt
from somewhere, and since when do you wear racing shirts?" she teased, as
she gave one of the oversized sleeves a playful tug. "Were you able to
work things out?"
"We still have a lot to talk about, but things are definitely better. You
were right - - Tommy and Kat are just friends."
"So, does that mean you forgive us for setting you up last night?" Jason
asked, with a victorious smile. The plan had worked!
"Yeah, I'll forgive you for that," Kim hesitated, planting her hands on
her hips, as her eyes shifted from Trini to Jason. "Although, I'm not sure
if I can forgive you as easily for breaking a really big promise."
"I'm sorry Kim; I should have asked you before I said anything to him,
but I didn't feel that I had much of a choice. Because of what happened
with your parents, and the things your mom said, You have to admit that
for the most part, you still keep guys as far away as possible. From where
I'm standing, that's exactly what you've been going with Tommy since
before we left Angel Grove - - pushing him away." Jason paused, to let his
words sink in. The guilty expression on Kim's face told him he was definitely
on the right track.
"There are times when you still try to push me away. But when you do,
I at least know why. I know how to deal with those moments because
I was there when everything was happening. Trini and I both know what
your life was like then, first hand. Tommy didn't. Up until yesterday, he
was convinced that he had done something to scare you or make you push
away like that. It's become pretty obvious over the past four years that
you weren't going to tell him, so I decided to put him out of his misery.
I am really sorry if you're upset with me, Kim; But if it's between the truth
being out in the open and my two best friends having another chance together,
or having Tommy miserable while you continue to hide in your shell and never
dealing with the past, I'd rather you be mad at me."
The normally chatterbox gymnast stood there quietly. Kim felt her anger
over the broken promise quickly turn into guilt. There was no use trying
to deny what her honorary brother had said was true, for she felt as
though he had read it from her own mind.
"Jase told me about the conversation he and Tommy had. I'm not taking
sides, Kim, but I have to agree with him on this one. We all know your
parents' divorce was hell for you, and it was a major contributor to your
illness. But that's also why Tommy needs to hear what you went through
from You. We know what happened because we were there. He wasn't.
I know you never felt comfortable with the idea of seeing a counselor Kim,
But I really think you need to finally discuss what you went through with
someone. Stop running away from the past and face it head-on. Only then
will you be able to truly get on with your life." Trini advised her friend.
"What if he doesn't like what he hears? What's to stop him from just turning
around and walking out of my life for good?"
Trini reached out and took Kim's hand, offering her teary-eyed friend a warm
reassuring smile. "Come on Kim, Give him the benefit of the doubt for once.
Let him have a chance to help you through this. Tommy loves you too much
to run away." The yellow-clad female added, as she pulled her best friend into
a hug.
"Since when did you become a psychologist?" Kim teased, trying to lighten
the situation a bit. The two girls exchanged a few more words as Kim quickly
brushed away the few tears which had slipped down her cheek.
Jason looked up from the conversation as Tommy, with a finger over his lips,
approached from behind Kim. Moments later, a clunky pair of ear protectors
made themselves at home over Kim's ears, startling the poor girl to death.
Acting as though he had nothing to do with it, the former White Ranger
handed the other two sets of headphones along with two plastic-covered
badges on cords to Trini and Jason. The pair tried to stifle their
laughter at the once-Pink Ranger's bewildered expression.
"I was able to get some extra pit passes so you guys can watch the race
from there!" exclaimed Tommy, as he also tried to control his amusement.
Kim, not having heard a thing any of them had said, quickly removed the
bulky headset from her ears. "What's the big idea here? What did you
say?" quipped the petite girl as she turned to face her newly re-found
friend.
As she came to face him, he slipped the last pit pass over her head and
gently let go of it so it rested on her chest. "Sorry, Kim," came his
smiling reply. "I was saying that I was able to get permission for you
guys to see the race from the pit area, but you have to wear these."
Tommy fingered the earphones briefly unable to hide his smile as he
continued, "To protect your hearing from all the noise. And I'm sorry to
report, but we're currently all out of pink, so I guess red will have to
do," he finished, chuckling slightly before tossing out one final comment.
"Personally, though, I think they co-ordinate wonderfully with your
scrunchie!"
With a lopsided grin that clearly read 'Oh sure, Tommy', Kim playfully
punched him in the arm.
"This'll be so cool man, thanks!" Jason beamed, having obviously missed
the last few comments due to his excitement about seeing Tommy's race
close-up.
Motioning for them to follow, Tommy headed over towards the raceway with
his friends in tow.
* One hundred laps later.....*
It had been a grueling race, but after placing 8th out of the thirty-five
cars there, Tommy finally pulled into his designated area just bursting
with excitement. Climbing out of his car, he headed for the group. Kim
bounced up to him as he approached, wrapping her arms around his neck
with a congratulatory hug. Without thinking, Tommy immediately wrapped
his strong arms around the gymnast's waist, picked her up effortlessly and
spun her around. A tiny shriek escaped Kim's mouth. Finally coming to a
stop, Tommy eased her back onto her own two feet, but both were slow to
relinquish their hold on each other.
Watching from the sidelines, Trini and Jason gave each other a knowing
look, for they both knew how much these two still cared about each other.
Getting to their feet, the couple made their way over to congratulate
Tommy on his wonderful accomplishment. After hugs and cheers, the four
decided a victory dinner was in order.
* * * * * *
It had been a great meal, and the conversation and company had been
wonderful. Tommy had decided to invite his crew along and was happy when
the others were all for it. But now the evening was winding down and
everyone was beginning to go their own ways. Trini had found an excuse as
to why she and Jason had to call it a night, which conveniently left Tommy
and Kim to entertain themselves.
"So..." Kim began hesitantly, "what do you want to do now?"
"I don't know; you're the one that lives here," smiled Tommy as he watched
the girl across from him.
"Well, I would say sight seeing, but it's kinda late," Kim frowned slightly.
"Yeah," agreed Tommy, unable to stop smiling. *God she's beautiful*
After concentrating for a little bit, Kim suddenly perked up. "Would you
maybe want to see the Gymnastics Compound?" she suggested, as the
butterflies trapped in her stomach began to multiply.
Blinking suddenly, Tommy was torn from his pervious thought. "Compound?"
"Yeah, were I eat, sleep and breathe gymnastics," grinned the brunette as
she watched Tommy try to come back to the present.
"Almost sounds like a concentration camp or something!" he replied, hoping
she hadn't caught his dopey look a few seconds ago.
"No, it's not as bad as that. I guess a better name for it would be a
campus. You want the nickel tour?" she smiled brightly, as she fingered a
stray straw wrapper.
"Sure," he declared, rising from his seat and offering her a hand up. Side
by side, the two friends made their way out of the restaurant and into the
warm Florida night air.
* * * * *
After making their way through the deserted buildings that made up the US
Pan Global Training Center, Kim had invited him back to her dorm room.
Her invitation surprised him slightly, though he was not about to refuse
it. *She wants to talk, that's a step in the right direction,* Tommy
pointed out silently. As much as he wanted for her to believe that he
would never do anything to hurt her, Tommy knew he couldn't push for that
trust too fast. He knew he needed to let Kim set the pace. The scared,
child-like shroud within her eyes which had always haunted them --even during
happy, jovial times-- still remained. Though now that he knew their
secret, that long-buried unhappiness literally screamed at him.
The pair had sat for the past two hours at the small breakfast table in
the apartment-like dorm suite, talking about recent developments in each
of their semi-professional lives. Tommy had also explained how he learned
he had a brother. Now, looking at his watch, he realized the lateness of
the hour.
"I should probably head back before your roommate gets in," he remarked,
as he slowly rose from his seat.
Shadowing his movement, Kim picked up the two empty mugs from the table.
With a rush, she felt as if she was once again a small girl huddled in her
bed, scared of the raging nighttime thunderstorm outside, but also scared
of the monsters which lingered under her bed waiting to get her feet the
moment they touched the floor. Her mind wouldn't let her forget how safe
it felt to be near him: the feeling of his strong arms around her again,
the scent of his skin, how good it felt when he comforted her after the
nightmare even though she hadn't let on that she was awake. Those
reminders, along with Jason and Trini's pep talk of the morning, had
pushed her to the edge of telling him. All evening, she had tried to work
up the courage to approach the subject. Tommy had definitely given her
more than enough chances, but no matter how she tried, she just couldn't
take the plunge. Now, she felt she had to do something fast --had to say
something-- but what? It was decision time, but she wasn't sure which was
worse: having Tommy leave and being all alone again, maybe for good this
time, or telling him her deepest, darkest secrets and dealing with his
unimaginable reaction?
"Please don't go." The words raced past her lips before her mind had time
to even comprehend them. Taking a deep breath, she quickly walked into the
tiny kitchen. *Nice going, dingy; way to _not_ sound desperate! Why don't
you just handcuff him to the table while you're at it!* Reaching for the
faucet handle, Kim did her best to shake the desperate tone from her voice
as she watched the water fill and quickly overflow the dark green mug.
"I mean, it's barely 10:30, and, actually, Renee went home for the week
like everyone else. She won't be back until next Tuesday." With a quick
glance sideways, she wasn't surprised to see that he had followed her as
far as the archway. *Please don't ask me if something's wrong --just
please don't ask that.*
"Doesn't having a roommate get to you sometimes?" he asked casually, more
to keep her talking than for any other reason, watching as she emptied and
refilled the mugs repeatedly for no apparent reason save to keep her hands
busy.
"I guess maybe a little, but we're really good friends. Plus, the way they
have all the rooms set up like mini-apartments helps; everyone has two -
three bedrooms, a living room, a small kitchen and dining area just like
we do. So for the little time we're not in the gym, at least we don't
always have to be in the same room."
She finally set the mugs down with the few other dirty dishes already on
the counter. With nothing else to occupy her attention, Kim found herself
forced to turn toward him again, though she was unable to look him in the
face. She could almost feel the ugly words bouncing around in her mouth,
trying to get free. But the fear to utter them still remained. One look
into those warm, brown eyes, and she knew she'd lose her fragile grip on
control. *I just need to concentrate on something else for a little while,
then everything'll be fine,* Kim almost convinced herself.
With skilled dexterity, she bottled up her emotions once more and adopted
her 'Happy Face' mask. "Do you feel like watching a movie?"
"Sounds good," he agreed, before she slipped past him and toward her room.
Tommy hadn't missed any of the unspoken battle that had been evident in
her actions and expressions. *Why won't she just say it? What's got her
so afraid to admit that there were problems once? Maybe I should just
straight out ask her about it. But then she might feel like I was pushing
her... and I don't want to risk losing her again! Kim, why won't you let
me in?* Pushing away from the wall, he slowly headed for the light at the
end of the hall.
* * * * *
Tommy appeared in the doorway just as Kim brushed the last of the braid
from her hair. She met his gaze for a moment in the mirror then watched as
he took a few steps into the small bedroom. Setting the brush on the
dresser top, she moved toward the bookshelf.
"Renee doesn't have too many videos, but the video store's not far from
here if I don't have anything that sounds good," she supplied, before she
began reading off titles.
He watched her from behind for a moment, before his eyes drifted around
the room and came to rest on a thick, light-colored photo album that sat at
the foot of her bed. Tommy quietly made his way over to the floral spread-
covered bed, and sat down, picking up the book. Resting it in his lap, he
slowly flipped backwards through the last pages, looking at the seemingly
happy images that graced the photographs: pictures of him and their friends
playing basketball in the park, sparring, goofing around. As he gradually
made his way to the center of the album, he found pictures from before he
had arrived in Angel Grove. He stared blankly at the first one his eyes fell upon.
Even after Jason's description, he still couldn't believe that the
headless female in the photo was Kimberly. Her clothing hung limply from
her toothpick thin 5'4" frame; her skeletal features were grossly evident.
As he continued toward the front of the book, Tommy found several more
pictures that had been defaced; a few had pieces torn out, but most had
blue ballpoint scribbles, as if a someone had tried to "color over" the
image. Not surprisingly, the damage concentrated on one individual.
Tommy glanced up at the once-Pink Ranger to find her still involved in
naming off movie titles.
His eyes returning to the sad scene before him, he picked up a large,
folded picture that had been stuck between the two first pages. A heavy
crease ran down the center from being folded for so long, but otherwise it
was undamaged. The group of friends was gathered around a table at the
Youth Center, each decked out in a brightly colored cone-shaped party hat;
multiple shades of pink streamers hung from the ceiling above. As happy as
the others seemed to be, the Kimberly staring back at him was miserable.
Her hair seemed limp and lifeless, her eyes were dark and sunken in; her
normally radiant face was pale. Even though she wore her patented "Happy
Face," the smile didn't even begin to reach the too-thin girl's eyes.
*If only I had known what she was going through, maybe I could've done
something to help her.* he brooded, rapidly thinking back to his first
year in Angel Grove. Distantly, he recalled Jason asking Kim constantly if
she had eaten; Ernie was always bringing Kim a sandwich or salad, even
though she never ordered it, but she ate it anyway. His thoughts then
drifted to the times when he had gone to Kim's house after school to study
or to pick her up for a date. The un-shakable feeling that he didn't quite
meet up to her mom's standards for her daughter had never wavered. Even
after the many times he thought he had proven himself worthy (karate
competitions, making good grades, showing up almost on time, being his
complete gentleman self), the tension never dissipated; although, it was
never talked about either.
Looking back on it, Tommy now realized that something must have been
terribly wrong when Kim once again started insisting on meeting him at the
Juice Bar or his house --ever really wanting him to come over anymore.
Mrs. Harte's proclamation once again echoed in his mind: *She's much too
busy with important things like gymnastics to have any time for boys or
anything else!*
*I guess Kim felt that she had to hide our relationship from her mother...*
Suddenly, he felt as if he had been caught in the act. Tommy looked up from
the picture to find Kim watching him. It was only then did he realize he hadn't
heard a thing she had said since he had spotted the book. The fear that had
overtaken her features made him heartsick. He wanted so badly to comfort
her, reassure her that he understood now. But before he could open his mouth,
she was gone.
"Kim," Tommy called after her. He groaned loudly to himself, as he closed
the photo album and set it back on the bed. Running his hands through his
hair, he planted his elbows on his knees before dropping his face into his
upturned palms.
"Damn!" he muttered in frustration. *What's it gonna take for you to trust
me?* The thought had barely left his mind when an image he hadn't seen in
forever flashed before his eyes.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Two boys stood together, both in their early teens. Each was clad in a
black leather jacket, black t-shirt, dark jeans, and steel-toed boots. The
two had been walking down the street, talking, drinking sodas and
laughing, when suddenly there was an eruption of gunfire from a passing
vehicle. Before it was all over, the taller boy would be kneeling on the
ground next to the other, who had been hit by multiple bullets. He died
before the first help even arrived on the scene.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
A shiver ran up Tommy's spine at the memory of that awful night. It had
taken him a long time to be able to forgive himself for all the hurt and
heartache he had caused his parents and family. Tommy also knew why he had
never been able to let his Ranger friends in on the secret: he was afraid
that they wouldn't have taken the chance to get to know him, and if they
had found out after accepting him, they would've looked at him differently
or changed their views of him.
*But if I can't trust Kim enough to tell her about my past, especially
when it happened before I even moved to Angel Grove, how can I expect her
to do the same?*
With that thought, he knew exactly what he had to do. First, he'd give
her a few minutes to herself. He just hoped it wasn't too late.
* * * * * *
"...Titanic, Fried Green Tomatoes, Armageddon, Hackers. Does anything
sound good, or do you want to go rent something?" Kim asked, as she turned
from the third and final shelf of her movie collection. Her body instantly
stiffened in shock as she realized why she hadn't heard a peep out of
Tommy for the past ten minutes. The man who had made her feel as if she
could do no wrong, who had made her feel as if she was Cinderella at the
Grand Ball, was now inspecting the evidence of her less-than-perfect past
--one that she had hoped to be able to try and explain herself, rather
than have him discover this way. Would he understand why she had done
those awful things to herself? Would he judge her differently? Or would
he just get up and walk away, never to speak to her again? Her mind
screamed for her to do something, but she couldn't. Her feet felt like a
pair of anvils, unwilling to take even a single step. The thunderous
pounding of her heart was all Kim could hear. Panic struck; she was
forced to stand and watch as her dream of possibly getting another chance
with Tommy crumbled before her.
Almost in slow motion, his brilliant Chocolate eyes rose to meet hers.
Kimberly felt as if all the air in her lungs were being sucked out under
his scrutiny. The world around her began to tinge with gray and spin.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to block out what was happening, but it
refused to go away. With every last ounce of strength she had, Kim headed
toward the doorway.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
*How could I have been so stupid to leave that scrapbook out! What right
did he have to look at it anyway? I'm sure he's in there right now
laughing at how ugly I was,* she fumed to herself, slamming her fists
against the counter top. This was definitely not how she had imagined
finally telling him about her anorexia or the problems in her life that
had brought it on.
The messy divorce of her parents, the overpowering control her mother had
gradually taken of her own daughters life before, during and most
noticeably after that divorce, the pressures the woman had placed on Kim
to always win the gold medal, since nothing else would do for Morgan
Harte. Then there were the occasional remarks which quickly grew in
frequency as well as zeal. Even though Kim wore a size 3 in shorts, her
mother insisted that she was putting on weight. When she would reach for
another helping of chicken, vegetables, or applesauce at dinner; if she
would grab a piece of fruit, frozen juice bar, or fix herself a small
salad to munch on while studying, or, God forbid, her mother would catch
her actually eating a single chocolate kiss on Halloween, or enjoying a
piece of pizza with her friends, it was always the same:
*"We don't want to develop a belly, do we Kimberly?"*
*"Now Kimberly, you know you're supposed to be watching your weight.
Do you see fat girls on the Olympic Gymnastics Team?"*
As if the comments weren't bad enough, Mrs. Harte had also begun the
morning 'weigh in' ritual. If the numbers on the readout went up, even by
as little as one pound from what they had the read the previous morning,
she would insist that Kim do extra sit-ups, push-ups, and run an extra
half mile during her workout routine before school. Commonly, she would
accompany her daughter during the runs. Morgan referred to it as "Mother
daughter quality time." Looking back on it, Kim realized it was more
like, "Mom's time to bitch about how horrible Dad is, tell me about how
bad he is for leaving us and running off with his 'horny little
secretary.' How ALL MEN only want one thing in life and once they get
tired of you, they move on to their next target." After being continually
bombarded with her mother's negative insights on male-female relationships
for more than a year, as well as having no contact with her father, Kim
began believing them.
If it hadn't been for Jason and Trini, Kim wasn't sure she'd have survived
any of those torturous years. They had been her lifeline, and for that,
Kimberly knew she would never do enough to pay them back for all they had
done for her.
The thought of her disorder resurfacing had become a major source of
anxiety for her ever since her arrival in Florida. Coach Schmidt was like
many other coaches; he expected every one of his gymnasts to give more
than their best performances --even if it meant losing a few pounds in
order to achieve those extra few inches of air. Though Kim knew he always
kept a close watch and wouldn't allow the athletes to put their health at
risk, it didn't help to alleviate her resurfacing fears. *What if I can't
stop after losing 3 or 4 pounds? What if I keep going? There's no one here
to help me!* That, on top of her growing assumptions as to the reason
Tommy hadn't kept in touch better, had been what prompted the hastily
written letter which contained the worst falsehoods she could ever
imagine: that she didn't have feelings for him anymore and that she had
moved on with someone else.
She could only imagine what Tommy thought of her now, after seeing her at
her worst. How could he even stomach looking at those images when she
barely could? Those old photos were the only ones she had of what
should've been one of the best times in her life --she had been made a
Power Ranger. But in her eyes, they only seemed to represent the most
hellish. Still, she just couldn't convince herself to destroy them once
and for all. Someone had once said, 'everything that happens --good or
bad-- happens for a purpose.'
*So what was the purpose of Tommy finding out what a coward I am? To
prove that he's too good for me? To show him that he deserves better than
some insecure, diseased, poor, valley girl?*
Overwrought with humiliation, Kim was about to give into the tears that
were already streaming down her cheeks, when she heard the familiar creak
of a spot in the hallway floor. With nowhere else to run, Kim pushed
herself into the corner of the cupboards. Her forehead resting against
the cabinet in front of her, she grabbed a nearby napkin to wipe her
cheeks, as she tried to pull herself together again, only half way
succeeding. As the footsteps behind her drew nearer, she closed her eyes.
The growing knot in her stomach worsened to the point she thought she
might be sick.
* * * * * *
Her back was to him as he stopped in the kitchen doorway, but Tommy could
feel Kim's tension radiating from her. Before he could open his mouth to
speak, she beat him to it.
"So, what do you think of me, now that my knack for fucking up has been
uncovered?" The bitterness and venom that filled her words didn't
surprise him, though it still hurt.
"That's a little unfair, Kim; don't you think?" he replied calmly, taking
a small step toward her. "I just wish you had felt that you could've
talked to me about your anorexia before now."
His temperate words were the last thing she had expected, neither was the
soft, soothing tone of his voice. Though she tried her best to keep the
emotional brick wall erected before her, she could feel the control
slipping away quickly. With her arms folded tightly in front of her and
her eyes squeezed shut, Kim turned her head slightly.
"Oh, like if you knew I had just been released from the hospital when you
met me, that you still would've wanted to be seen with me!" she yelled
without meaning to. "You don't know how hard it was for me to make myself
keep eating. I lived at Trini's house for the first two weeks, since my
mom was still so emphatic that I was gonna get fat again. But the doctors
said that if I lost even 4 pounds, they'd shove the feeding tube back in
me! It wasn't until my Coach finally sat my mom down for a meeting that
she even realized that I had a serious eating disorder! At least then she
laid off a bit on her comments about my eating, but it didn't help with
anything else."
The knot within her stomach had relaxed a bit, though it was quickly being
replaced by the growing one in her throat. As she took in a long shaky
breath, Kim finally opened her eyes, though her gaze remained fixed on the
crumpled napkin in her fist.
"Then I met you, and I felt like you had this hold on me... like you were
giving me the strength I needed to get better. From the very first time I
met you at the karate competition against Jason, even just from the way
you looked at me --you made me feel special. For the first time in years,
I felt like I could be "Me" and not the Kim that everyone else expected me
to be! When you moved to Angel Grove a few weeks later, I was so scared
you'd find out what I had been through. I'm sure people at school knew,
between all the school I missed and what I looked like; they had to! I
thought that if you found out about my problems, you would surely think
that I was "damaged goods" and turn your back on me."
As the last of the wall came crumbling down, so did her ability to fight
back the tears. "I couldn't live with that rejection, especially not from
you!!" she squeaked out, as she drew her hands to her face once more.
Tommy approached her silently, closing the gap between them to just a few
feet. Her hair blocked him from seeing her face, but he could hear her
quiet sobs. His eyes were also wet with emotion; he couldn't help but
wonder if there were more scars hidden that she wasn't going to tell him
about.
"Kim, is that why all this time you have been keeping me an arms length,
away from getting close to you?? Because you thought that if I found out
that you had an eating disorder, I wouldn't love you and turn my back on
you??"
"Like you said, you already thought I was perfect. And from what I've
seen, leaving seems to be the standard reaction... either that or taking a
swing at someone," she added, as she threw the wet paper ball onto the
gray counter top, gulping back the tears as best she could.
Her statement fell upon him like a sledgehammer. He easily recalled using
the word to describe Kim, though she had obviously thought he had meant
'perfect' in the literal sense --as in 'absolutely flawless'. He took one
final step toward her before he leaned against the counter beside her.
Unable to resist the urge any longer, Tommy reached out and pulled the
curtain of hazelnut brown hair away from her face, tucking it carefully
behind her ear.
Kim started at the feel of his touch. During the conversation, she had
been so focused on trying to hold herself together just a little while
longer, that she hadn't been aware of his slow advance from the doorway.
With her eyes fixed downward, she managed to turn toward him slightly.
The paleness of her face made her puffy eyes seem even redder. Dried
tears stained her cheeks as a few fresh ones continued their downward
cascade. The trembling girl just stood there, unable to look at him and
biting her bottom lip hard enough to draw a bit of blood. A host of
emotions played across her face, like a scrolling message board.
Tommy couldn't help but wonder exactly how bad the physical fighting
between her parents had been, or how much of it Kim had to witness first
hand.
"Did either one of them ever physically hurt you?" he nearly whispered, a
shadow of alarm touching his eyes.
Without even trying, Kim knew if she so much as opened her mouth she would
be unable to stop the emotional flood from starting. Hesitantly, she
raised her clenched fist before extending her index finger.
"Once?" he said aloud, and watched as Kim made another gesture. "When you
were younger?"
Her chin quivered as the sobs forced their way out; the gymnast only shook
her head in affirmation of his translation. The last shreds of any control
she had were now shattered, as every last bottled up tear fought its way
out. Without warning, Kim found herself being pulled into his arms. She
weakly struggled against the comforting embrace, hitting his
well-developed chest with her hand as she gave her best attempt to pull
away.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Kim," he soothed, refusing to let her go.
Thoroughly exhausted, she gave in and allowed herself to melt further into
his protective hold, leaning against him with all of her weight. Tommy
took a deep breath as a sense of relief washed over him. The worst part
seemed to be over --for Kim. Tomorrow would be his turn to tell her about
his "mistakes" in Stone Canyon. They had exactly nine more days together
before he had to leave for Arizona, and he was not about to waste a moment
of it.
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, Beautiful, but no one's *that*
perfect; we *all* make mistakes sometimes," he murmured, resting his cheek
against her hair. Though he would still let Kim set the pace, he made a
silent promise to do everything within his power to make sure she knew
exactly how much he loved her. He would not let himself get so wrapped up
with other things that he lost track of his priorities again.
"Please don't leave me here by myself tonight.... I hate being alone," Kim
pleaded through the tears, clutching a handful of his shirt.
"I won't leave if you don't want me to, I promise," was his firm reply.
To Be Continued....