Authors Note #1: For all of those who have given me feedback similar to the following statement: "Signkat, You promised that you were going to post the next chapter soon - I keep checking, but you still haven't...." PLEASE do not think that your words have fallen on deaf ears. Between real life and MAJOR writers block, I just haven't had it in me to sit down and work through this chapter. Therefore, I am posting what I thought would be the first half (or third) instead of a more complete chapter. And I'll be the first to admit that this segment hasn't been correctly edited by anyone else, so please be so kind as to overlook my mistakes for the moment.
This is what I get for trying to take on writing this entire epic-like-feeling story, after losing my one-time co-writer to her own real life (and never to be heard from again) over a year ago.
I AM OPEN TO ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT SPECIFIC DIRECTIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THIS STORY CONTINUE IN. (Although please give me more feedback than simply saying "Get Tommy & Kim Back Together!") ~Thank You~
For anyone who is still with me after all this time, may I commend you on your patience... for those of you who have moved on, I will miss you.
Authors Note #2: The made-up city of Cannon Falls borders both Stone Canyon and Angel Grove. Also, pay attention to the way Kim's mother like's to interchange "You" and "We". Yes, That was intentionally done... Get the feeling that all of Kim's hard work ISN'T just for herself?? ~Signkat
Tortured Souls Series
"Dreamstate"
By Signkat
Exhaustion had finally taken it's toll on her while he held her in the kitchenette; for the emotionally frail gymnast had fallen asleep standing up, cradled in his arms. It saddened him to wonder if Kim actually thought that he would have left her after what she had just admitted to him - -when it was so obvious that she needed someone to show her that her mothers misguided teachings were completely wrong... not all men leave. Even in her sleep, Kim refused to relinquish her hold on his shirt.
Though he had hated to disturb her peacefulness, the edge of the counter top pushing into his lower waist had begun to hurt. Kim started awake as Tommy shifted onto his feet and effortlessly, gathering her up in his arms to carry her to the couch. But with a few reassuring words she was asleep against his side within moments of her head coming to rest on his chest.
To his relief, Kimberly had slept soundly throughout the night. His own rest had been light aware of the slightest sound or movement which had emanated from the figure curled against his side. Saddness tugged at him as Tommy continued to watch her sleep. He ran a fingertip across
the back of her hand with a feather-light touch. Kim still held fast to the fistful of his t-shirt, which she had immediately reclaimed as he had eased her down onto the couch hours before.
With a regretful glance at the VCR clock, Tommy realized that he had officially missed the traditional "Morning After The Race" team meeting. There was no doubt in his mind that his uncle would be looking for him. He had no idea how many times his pager had gone off by now, since he had accidently-on-purpose left it on the dashboard of his truck, so it wouldn't be a cause of interruption. Though his mind scolded him to call his uncle and put the man at ease as to his nephews whereabouts, his heart pleaded with him not to.
*Well, I guess it can wait for a few more minutes. I'm already going to be doing extra practicing for missing the meeting - what's another five minutes going to matter?* Tommy convinced himself without much effort.
His thoughts began to drift back through the past 48 hours; the information that Jason had shared, the things that Kim had fought to hide for the past 5 years. One thing was unmistakable, He and Kimberly owed a lot to their friends.
He was pulled from his reverie by a small whimper. Tommy watched with protectiveness as, for the first time since she had fallen into the deep sleep, Kimberly's expression began to scowl slightly. Her hold on his white cotton shirt tightening as she drew her fist a little closer to herself.
Kim released an unintelligible mumble as A few dream-induced tears trailed sideways across her face before dripping from her temple to his chest. Tommy gently began to stroke the back of her fist with his fingers, his other hand traveled across her lower back and side with light methodic pressure -- subtle reminders to her sleep-enveloped mind that he was still holding her.
"Hey Beautiful, It's only a dream. I'm still here, Kim... I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He whispered to her reassuringly. Within moments, she quieted as her expression softened.
He felt most of the tension release from her body, her hand become lax once again. Tommy released a small sigh as he felt her nestle a bit closer to him in her sleep. His arms enveloped her snugly once again, to reassure himself as well as Kim, that she was safe.
*I finally have you back, and I'm not letting you go this time.* He silently promised her.
Without even a thought, Tommy bent his head and kissed Kim's forehead gently.
*******************
The red and white decor of the gymnasium seemed to flow together, as Kimberly once again began the first tumbling pass of her floor routine. Upbeat instrumental music flowed from the nearby portable stereo, but even the loudness of it could not drown out the sound of her mothers
constant shouts and corrections.
It was just after noon, but the remainder of the gym and building would remain deserted for the day. Sundays were supposed to be a day of rest for the Angel Grove Gymnastics Team, however her mother obviously didn't hold the same opinion.
"Step with the beat!"
"Keep your chin up!"
"Snap that turn!"
"Higher!"
"You over-rotated!"
Beams of warm sunlight cascaded through the narrow windows near the ceiling. Outside, it was a perfect 80-degree late July day. What a better way to spend it than having a picnic, some much-needed laughs, and fun with your closest friends? That's what Kim had hoped to do, when
Trini had called her with the plan last night. She had been trapped indoors, practicing six to seven days a week, ten to eleven hours a day, for the past month for the "Tri-City Gymnastics Competition" which was to be held in Canyon Falls, just before high school went back into session. With over a full month of preparation time still ahead of them, Carolyn Harte made no effort to hide her strong convictions regarding her daughters practice schedule. Missing two hours of it earlier in the week was not to be overlooked, not even for a dentist appointment.
"Straighter!"
"Legs Together!"
Instead of getting to sleep in a bit before having some fun on her day off, Kim had been woken at dawn by her mother, so they could get an extra-full day's practice in without interruptions. Even as the tired girl protested, it quickly became obvious that nothing would change her mothers mind.
Carolyn's constant remarks about Kimberly's eating habits had dwindled, however "Coach Harte" remained a force to be reckoned with. Especially when she felt that her daughter ought to have her routine down with absolute flawlessness - and nothing but infinite perfection would be tolerated.
"STOP!!!"
The music vanished, but was instantly replaced by her mothers' incessant scoldings. Over Six hours of doing the exact same routine, and not being able to go straight through it once without being told to stop, was getting to be a bit tiring.
*What the hell did I do now, Breathe off-beat?? She definitely hasn't lost the knack of taking every ounce of fun out of something!!* Kim thought, as her feet met the padded floor.
As her mothers voice grew closer, Kim released a frustrated huff, looking up at the clock on the far wall. It was past the time she was supposed to meet the others at the park. The one small strand of hope which had kept her going til now snapped, as Kim sank to the tumbling mat.
"...and I've gone out of my way to make sure that you could make up for the time you missed last week. If you can't stick your routine now, how do you think expect to do it in front of the judges? We have a hell of a lot to do in order to be ready for the "Tri-City"! If we want to place first overall in this - we'll have to be the absolute best!"
"Mom, the competition's still six weeks away! Why can't I just take this afternoon off? Everyone else on the team has today off!" Kim found herself almost yelling back in frustration.
Momentarily stunned by the outburst, her mother quickly recovered. "Kimberly Ann, Don't think I'm going to let you go and waste your time with that low-life Tommy instead of practicing. If everyone else went and jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, would you do it too?" She snapped
back. Carolyn gave no notice to her daughters emotional state, as she retreated back to her preferred "Coaching" spot near the balance beam.
"Sweetie," Kim knew full well where this speech would lead to, from the suddenly sweet tone her mothers voice had taken on. "I have made many sacrifices over the years so you could have the best coaches and the best training. And so I could see you fulfill the dream of representing
our country in the Olympics. But to do that, you need to be the VERY best! You might have to give up a few things in order to get there, but one day we WILL have that Olympic gold! It'll all be worth it in the end, I promise. So lets get back to work so you can show every other gymnast
on this team and everyone at that competition who's the best!! Don't you think that's the least you owe me?"
Kim found herself giving into the tears of defeat and bitterness which had been building throughout the morning. Why couldn't her mother just cheer her on from the sidelines like all the other parents seemed to be content with doing? And in the end, she could just be Kimberly, without all the expectations. Win or lose - - the most important thing could be that she was happy.
"Ok - lets start again from the top!"
Kim could not remember a time in her life when she didn't love doing gymnastics. The creativeness, the grace, the friendships she'd developed both at the Gym as well as at Ernie's. It was almost as if she had been born on the apparatuses. Though she took great pride in
competing, the Olympics had never truly been HER dream - - but it had always been her mothers. It had been made extremely clear that one way or another, her mother would see that dream fulfilled.
"Kimberly - Will you get your head out of the clouds and get back to work!" Carolyn screamed impatiently.
The pink-clad gymnast finally pushed herself to her feet once again, but turned toward the sideline bench instead. Burying her face in a workout towel, Kim drew in a shaky breath as she tried to get her emotions under control once more.
"Excuse me," Her mother marched up behind her, arms tightly pretzeled across her chest. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"
At that moment, Kim felt herself snap. The reaction felt alien to her, as if the proverbial bottle had finally reached it's bursting point and shattered.
"I've been practicing my ass off all week. I've been here six days a week since the beginning of June, and will continue to be here six days a week until the competition. I'm here, in this gym, from early morning, until it's nearly dark. Do you want to know why no one else is here today
mother? It's Sunday. Sunday's are supposed to be our day of rest - - away from the gym, so every gymnast on this team has a slim chance at a social life. And since it's supposed to be my day away from work, I'd like to go have some fun in the sun with my friends." Slinging her gym bag over her shoulder, Kim finally turned toward her mother. "I'm sorry if I've ruined your plans for the day, but my friends have been expecting me and now I'm late. Why don't you get a few of your friends together and go for a picnic." She suggested as she picked up her warmup jacket, and then walked away.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Kim awoke quietly, as her dream counter-part exited the gymnasium. For a moment, the altered dream lingered. Never before had she had the courage to stand up to her mother not even in her dreams. But then again, with the exception of Jason and Trini, Kim had never been so open with her feelings or opinions until last night.
As the random lingering images dissipated, Kimberly became aware of the things which had lulled her into the deep sleep. The steady rhythm of his heart beat, the gentle rise and fall movements of his chest. The warmth of another body pressing against hers, their legs loosely intertwined. His
right arm trapped under her, his hand gently traveling along her back. With his left arm unobstructed, Tommy continued his slow gentle pattern on the back of her once-again relaxed fist.
*Tommy* She thought happily, her eyes still closed to the world. Unwilling to give up her cocoon of safety and comfort, she snuggled against him a bit tighter.
The huge weight on her heart and mind were gone - - her painful past was finally out in the open, and yet she had not woken up alone. Regret remained like a scar; she had allowed her fears to damage their relationship severely -- almost severing it for good.
Even the night in his motel room, Kim hadn't let on to Tommy that she had awoken after the nightmare in his motel room, for fear that he would ask questions. However, pretending to still be asleep had proved to be no easier.
As she attempted to play possum, It was impossible for Kim not to be reminded of how the hollow between his shoulder and neck, had always seemed to fit her head perfectly. How throughout most of high school, no matter how bad her day had been, Tommy's arms always had the cure. However tempting it seemed, Kimberly refused to allow herself to enjoy the old comforts, for fear they would be instantly swept out from under her once the secrets had finally made themselves known. So, With great determination, Kim had once again forced herself back to sleep, and once again slipped into the old memories and fears which had been plaguing her
almost constantly since leaving California.
*****
Kim felt her human pillow shift under her ever so slightly. A moment later, She felt the unmistakable warmth of his lips against her forehead. An uncontrollable smile played across her lips, though she remained still, savoring the moment. But Now, she realized, they had a second
chance... and a almost a solid week to begin to rebuilding things.
Kimberly felt the heal of his hand brush her against cheek lightly, as he curled a stray clump of hair behind her ear. Unable to resist, she tilted her face and gently kissed the soft skin of his inner wrist.
"Good morning"
"Morning" She replied, Their eyes met as Kim finally lifted her head from it's resting place. It took only a moment for her to see there was no sleepiness in his expression.
"How long have you been awake." She asked, resting her chin on the back of her hand.
"A couple hours I guess." He answered with a slight one-shouldered shrug.
"Tommy, If you wanted to move you should've just woken me!" She scolded lightly, but thankful he hadn't.
"Who said I wanted to go anywhere? Besides, You needed your rest and It's been a while since I've gotten to watch you sleep." He favored her with a gentle smile, "Wild horses couldn't have dragged me away."
Her cheeks flushed, Kim momentarily closed her eyes and drew in a slow breath. "Thank you for staying last night... I'm sorry I didn't tell you about any of it sooner."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I can imagine how difficult going though all of that must have been for you. I don't even want to think about what it would've been like for you if Jason, Trini, and the others hadn't been there."
"I guess I just had myself so convinced that if I told you... If you found out I wasn't as perfect as everyone else thinks, that I would lose any chance I had with you. Not that I didn't do a good enough job screwing things up on my own, with that letter." She couldn't stop her self-bitterness
from showing.
"I don't know how much of what I said last night in the kitchen, you actually heard. But I never meant that you were or that I expected you to be the dictionary definition of 'perfect'." He paused to allow the truth to soak in. "I only expect you to be true to yourself, Kimberly. And I swear
to you, there is not one thing that I would ever want to change about Kimberly Ann Hart."