Sorry for the delay, guys. My old computer exploded and I had to retrieve the files. AGAIN. Also, I've been preoccupied with RPing with Akane and doing school stuff and…ugh. Also, looking up "Nulli Secundus" on my YouTube account (RayeWilliams, obviously) should unveil some nice tidbits. Enjoy.

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Nulli Secundus, Chapter 7 – Black, White, and Red All Over

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"Nia...did I hurt you too much? Are you bleeding?"

Near shook his head and rested it against Mello's chest, sighing, his body relaxed and still trembling slightly.

"I'm okay...you...were gentle."

He was bleeding, and he knew it, but it didn't bother him. He wondered if Mello had done this before...he'd been too concerned, too caring, too aware of what would hurt and what would feel good...Near bit his lip. He found himself almost hurt at the concept of Mello having done this with someone else...but it didn't really matter, did it? It had been him this time.

His heart was fluttering, and it took a great amount of effort for his breathing to even out. Mello was still so warm, and Near sighed, content, a dull pain between his legs...he figured it would hurt to walk for awhile, but it didn't matter now. He was soaked in sweat...and other liquids. He shivered in slight disgust, but nestled closer to Mello, grateful for the intimacy of his gentle touch.

"Gentle...thank you."

Mello knew exactly what Near was thinking and he sighed, not moving from their position although it was getting slightly uncomfortable. Mello shifted his weight and pulled away slightly.

"Haven't done this Near. S'been done to me, not so lightly, but I'm fine..."

He felt drained of hatred at the moment; every scrap of anger and rage was gone, but a silent confusion was left in its wake. It was hard for him and easy at the same time to swallow what he just did. Had he spent so long hating Near, thinking he hated Near? Did he hate Near? Did he like Near?

Mello swallowed the confusion to focus on the task at hand. The results of the act sat upon their skin and the floor. Numbly he wondered why he didn't move Near to the bed, although it was seriously not five feet from them...

Ah well, whatever.

"We should clean up..."

The words "I am fine" were a blatant lie, and Near knew it, even if Mello didn't. He didn't press the issue...he exhaled softly.

"Cleaning up...g-give me a little while, Me...llo. I don't think I can move just yet."

Near was exhausted, and he hurt. He was certain Mello had left marks on him, and while he didn't care, he found himself snickering slightly, still in a heightened state of emotion.

"Mello, if the current rumor is that you have AIDs..." He propped himself onto his elbows weakly, glancing at his companion. "Guess the next one will be that I do, as well."

He doubted this would all stay silent, but then again, most people at Wammy's doubted ANY of the rumors Linda or the other girls could spread. He hated being so filthy; his body wasn't used to it...his light body was supposed to remain light, and there were so many things on him right now that shouldn't have been...

His inner thighs were sticky. He hoped they were white and not pink. Hoped. It was a false hope. He knew it. Mello rolled his eyes. When did that rumor start again? Like...last week? He didn't even DO anything and all of a sudden, "Hey Mello, Is it true you have AIDS?" Uh...no...?

"I am actually curious as to what they are going to come up with. I'm guessing I'll be suspected, naturally, but fuck them. I don't give a damn at the moment. They accuse me of rape or anything I'll punch them through a window."

He smirked, imagining Linda's newest amazing story.

"So you are apparently a rape victim and I'm apparently rapist and apparently now we both have AIDS. Yeah, great. Linda's going to faint from joy with this one. I'm guessing if she suspects you of having AIDS she'd probably stay away from you for awhile."

He crossed his legs and blinked. Wow...it had hit him that he'd just had sex with his former rival. Enjoyed it, and it wasn't furious hate sex either.

He felt suddenly tired with that realization, although they both had some form of sleep, he was quite tired from exertion. He knew the exhaustion would pass; it didn't matter much if he was tired today, no one looked for anyone on a Sunday, too busy with relaxing before classes tomorrow to do so.

"Linda. She is an idiot. Her crush on me is...amusing, and the fact that I think so would make me feel guilty if she were a person worth feeling guilt over."

Near was gazing at the ceiling now, his eyes glassy and blank, glazed over with only the shadows of emotions felt moments ago. Linda could go get adopted, for all he cared. There were very few people in Wammy's House who he liked, or disliked, but Linda was likely the one he felt the most dislike towards. He blinked, and the thought vanished.

"If they accuse you of rape," Near continued mildly, "and they do not have the common courtesy to come to me about it, then disregard them. We are both underage. We are both victims. It is quite possible that I was the one to rape you just now."

"Since when did age ever matter to people? I guess this will just be between you and me and this place then. And trust me, you are no more a rapist than I am a girl, and I do NOT think we have any doubts about that any longer."

Mello laughed lightly and brushed the mark upon his shoulder. Near's touch had actually made some parts of the mark warm, to his amusement. Mello gazed at the boy, analyzing the damage he had done, pleased to know it wasn't too bad, and he had not hurt him that much. The bruise upon the is neck was a bit startling, standing out quite a lot. Oh, he was going to get questions about that.

Near could already feel the pain subsiding, but didn't move. He wondered if Mello's mark was hurting him...if it always hurt him. Even during their prior actions, the mark had remained cold, a shocking difference between that and the heat of the rest of his body.

His mind...was on Mello. Nothing more...and certainly nothing less.

"I am supposing it'll be difficult for you to walk, much less crawl through tunnels just yet, but it'll feel better in a few hours," Mello said calmly.

Mello was thinking to himself at the moment, right now not bothering to question why it had happened, but more rather focused on a muddle of other things.

"I never thought you were a girl, Mello," Near sighed, content. "Just cute like one."

His lips twitched.

Mello blinked. Did Near just say he was...well, this day couldn't have started off any more out of the ordinary if it tried to. For some reason, Mello felt disgusted and flattered at the same time.

"What, am I just THAT ugly staying a male that everyone feels the need to call me 'Miss?'" He rolled his eyes and stood up, shamelessly stretching and walking over to his rival, extending a hand to him. "Come on, you're a mess. The shower will feel good anyway."

Near knew better than to snicker, so he merely smiled, his eyes flickering, vague shadows of amusement and affection dancing over the ethereal irises. He accepted Mello's hand and stood, unsteadily...too unsteady!

His eyes snapped open and his smile vanished in a moment; pain shot down his legs and he stumbled, graceless. He managed not to fall, though the reason for this salvation made him blush fiercely. His forehead was pressed lightly into Mello's arm, his pale hands wrapped around the slender limb for support. He wanted to apologize, but...his voice didn't seem to be working just then...

A flicker of memory crossed Mello's eyes and an arm steadied Near by the shoulder.

"Careful, there." He should've been a better judge of the magnitude of the pain, and that fact made him feel guilty. "Can you walk at all?"

Near's cheeks burned; he didn't look up to meet Mello's eyes, and he simply nodded.

"I think so...if I can hold on. Do you mind?"

"It's fine."

Near suddenly felt a pang of regret...he felt selfish...because he was grateful. He was grateful that Mello had been branded, that all of those horrific things had happened, that the boy had grown up with torments known only to fallen angels...

And he was GRATEFUL for Mello's suffering, if this was the result...

He buried his face in Mello's arm and inhaled, his body shaking with a silent sob...years and years of well-trained apathy kept his eyes dry, but he closed them anyway.

Mello stared at Near for a moment, sensing the change in him, that shaking not of embarrassment or the aftereffects. Why was he shaking? It worried him...Mello turned suddenly, bending over and hooking his arm under Near's legs, wrapping the other one around his back. He picked him up easily, marveling at the lightness of the boy in his arms. He held Near close, carrying him to the bathroom and setting the boy without trouble in the tub; he crossed his arms and analyzed him under a heated gaze.

"What's wrong? And don't lie to me..."

Near shivered, the sudden lack of Mello's body heat a cold slap to the face. He bit his lip and chewed, raising a small finger into his hair and tugging at it, harder than usual, perhaps as a form of punishment toward himself.

"I just feel guilty," he said, his voice calm despite his darkened emotional state. "I feel...almost happy you turned out...this way. Not happy you suffered, but...I can only wonder if you would still have hated me up until this point, if not for..."

His eyes finished his sentence for him as they traveled up to Mello's shoulder. His fingers yanked harder. Mello's gaze softened at the boy's words, sitting down and crossing his legs.

"It wasn't your fault, and it is perfectly fine to feel this way. I am glad that I turned out this way too. If I hadn't, that...that would have probably hurt a hell of a lot more, and it wouldn't have felt good at all. I'm furious and grateful at those people. I suppose that which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Really, I'm not mad at you. I'm just mad at those people."

He twisted the knob and plugged the drain, beginning to fill the tub with hot water for a bath.

"Don't worry about it. It's over and done with. Stay here and wash up, and don't leave until the pain subsides some more alright? I'll get in after you're done."

Mello stood up and closed the door, walking out to the pile of his clothes and dressing easily. He smelled of sex, but few people would ever be able to identify that scent here. Mello withdrew the map from his pocket and nodded to himself quietly, a determined light in his eyes.

Alone, Near sighed softly, sinking into the tub until he could feel his hair floating around him. He was grateful, again, but now he was grateful for Mello...not what had happened to him, but for Mello.

He felt a cold fury grip his heart...anyone who could possibly have hurt Mello was not good, and Near was slightly surprised at the low growl that escaped his throat at the thought of it...

The water took away the filth clinging to his body without him having to do much of anything, but he sat up to wash himself anyway. When he moved to clean between his legs, he sighed in defeat; there was red in the water. He hoped Mello hadn't noticed...the thought of hurting Near had seemed to bother him, and Near knew he had enough on his mind.

When he drained the tub, he lazily cleaned it of some of the red before finally getting out...climbing out. He sat on the floor and pulled a towel from the rack to dry himself, rubbing the water from his hair and sighing again. Walking wasn't going to be easy without Mello, but he didn't have the emotional strength to call him back in. He blushed lightly at the mere thought. He climbed up the side of the dresser to grab clothes, and when he discarded the towel onto the floor to get dressed into the pure white pajamas, he didn't notice the pink stains on the towel.

When dressed, he sat beside the tub, and continued to scrub away the red.

(NS)

From a passageway in the hallway was where Mello's adventure began.

Surprisingly, it took only a few minutes to find every turn, every crawlspace, and within those minutes he was weirdly crawling out of the air vent into the cafeteria. He didn't care if Near wasn't hungry; he was going to grab him something anyway. A paper bag sat idly on the counter and Mello snatched the lunch bag, snagging an apple from another part of the counter and slipping it in, grabbing a muffin for himself and looking at the map.

It was easier to sneak in daytime than at night; you just had to look like you belonged there. Mello nonchalantly walked out of the kitchen, walking out of the cafeteria and nonchalantly down the hallway, passing the common room and noting the dominoes STILL on the floor. Mello made a noise and walked in, putting a face on like he was stealing the game instead of taking it for Near. No one really bothered to look at him as he slipped the box in the paper bag, running to his room next and grabbing a bar of chocolate from his drawer.

Mello slipped outside his door and down the hall to the coat closet, pushing the coats aside to reveal the vent he had seen on the map. Mello unlatched the grate and crawled in, pushing the coats back and re-latching the thing behind him. He immediately looked up. The trap door loomed above him and he slipped out his key, unlocking the hatch and climbing up into the much more spacious tunnels, careful to lock the door behind him.

The stone tunnels were lit from the vents below them, and they were big enough to walk through them. In no time at all, Mello had easily come to the sliding puzzle room, a disguised trapdoor as his exit. The blonde rushed back through the hall to the bedroom yet again, placing the bag of supplies on the desk and bending down to pick up Near's clothes, which were thankfully not dirty at all. The carpet left no evidence and the blanket had become lost to the side. Mello picked up everything, throwing the blanket onto the bed and setting Near's clothes aside. He felt like he was beginning to really consider this place part of his home, like...this place was his, his and Near's.

He was so surprised he made it back before Near had finished bathing.

(NS)

Panic was very slowly etching itself into Near's mind, and it reflected in his wide eyes, the same way the bloodstains did...he couldn't...get them off. And they hadn't been there long...what kind of material was this tub?

He whimpered softly, scrubbing, hoping...please, no, Mello didn't need to see this...

There were patches of blood forming on the bottom of his pants...

Mello probably should have knocked, but... he figured that neither of them had much to hide from one another now. And he walked in and turned, a moment paused to drink in the vision before him. His eyes widened and he walked over to the edge cautiously, eyeing the blood on the tub floor. Near froze and glanced back at him, and both pairs of eyes were abnormally wide. Mello's breathing turned ragged.

"I hurt you..."

The three words made Mello's heart violently jerk and he bent over the tub, prodding a bloodstain, an expression of fear etched in his eyes. And he was there again. The gray room...

'Hope, are you okay?'

'Yeah, just some scratches...'

'But...'

'Don't worry about me...'

Mello blinked rapidly to rid the memory from his mind and he swung his head to meet Near's gaze. He was still bleeding...

"Near..."

His throat felt constricted, choked. He stared at Near.

"Are you okay...? Sorry...s-sorry...Near..."

Near's heart ached horribly as he read the pain in Mello's eyes; very gently, he brought up a bloody hand and touched Mello's cheek, stroking his face soothingly, as Mello had comforted him.

"I am not in pain," Near said quietly. "I hadn't wanted you to see it because I knew you would assume I was. I'm not."

He really wasn't. His normally blank stare was concerned for Mello...and this was why he had tried so hard to clean the blood. Mello bit his lip. He was trying his hardest to tell himself it was okay, but it was not working. He focused, not on the blood in the tub, but instead on the blank wall, in a trance almost.

"You shouldn't move for awhile..."

He was remembering, silently, his breathing calming down but his eyes still wide. Mello closed them tightly and brought his forehead against the edge of the tub. He needed to calm down. It was just a bit of blood, calm down Mello...calm down...he inhaled deeply and let out a shuddering sigh.

"You sure you are alright...?"

On instinct, Near moved forward and wrapped an arm around Mello's shoulders, resting his forehead against him and staring down at the towel on the ground...bloodstained, like the tub.

"I'm sure I am. Not sure you are."

He squeezed lightly in a gentle hug, sighing. He wasn't in pain unless he tried to walk, and he didn't walk much anyway. He knew...at least, he thought he knew...what was really bothering Mello, and his eyes blinked back the tears that built...once again, he was in the dark. He didn't know.

He didn't know...if Mello was upset about Near's pain...or the blood that had been spilt.

Near pulled Mello closer.

Mello closed his eyes in the embrace, fragile mind seeking this kind of solace. He paused a few moments, regaining all of his composure before raising his head, shooting a warm smile to Near and standing up.

"I'll be fine. You should change your clothes, though. They're bloody. When you're done, come out. I have something for you..."

Mello's discomfort was obvious, but he hid it as well as Near, seriously, the albino would be proud of how easily he shoved the emotions back into his mind. He turned to leave and closed the door behind him.

Near glanced down and sighed softly at his pants; they were going to be stained. He was surely still bleeding...he needn't waste another pair. He got up and left the bathroom, limping slightly, and his gaze latched onto Mello and the map he was staring at.

"You must have memorized it by now," Near said softly. "You have not taken your eyes off of it for very long."

Mello looked up and nodded affirmatively. He truthfully had memorized the entire map, every location. He looked at the paper bag beside him and pushed it towards Near.

"Yeah. Ah, here..."

Mello seemed distracted, but it would ebb off eventually as he distracted himself with other things. He reached into the bag and his hands gripped the edge of his sweet addiction...he pulled it out and unwrapped it, placing his lips on the edge and focusing on the chocolate. This sugary treat was like some drug in his system, shooting up to get the high and forget his problems. Mello's eyes sparked contentedly as he sucked on the edge, not feeling like devouring this bar so quickly.

"We should probably go downstairs later to get a few things like flashlights and such."

Near took the box from the bag and simply stared for a moment, shocked at the thoughtfulness...dominoes and games hadn't been on his mind, but now that he had them, he realized with a pang how hard it would have been for him to try to last without them. He smiled at Mello.

"Thank you. But yes, you're right. Perhaps other things, too...real food...more of that." He nodded towards the chocolate bar. "Perhaps more blankets and clothes. I need to get more chemicals for my lenses...I didn't see any in the bathroom. Perhaps we might need a first aid kit as well."

He bit his lip suddenly, averting his gaze. He hoped it hadn't sounded like he was implying anything. Mello still seemed very off, and he didn't like that.

"Mello...I'm alright. Don't worry about me."

Mello eyed him, licking the chocolate bar thoughtfully and nodding at his list of objects. He could easily have grabbed those in a flash with one trip, but Near already had trouble walking.

"I'll go get the stuff that I can, but I can't go in your room in broad daylight. Linda is stalking that hall. I think she's looking for you, which is a problem. I assume you should make an appearance today. I do have some things I have to get myself, and we need to take the dirty clothes to go wash them. I'll do that, just shove them in the bag and take everything out of it. I can get my hands on a mini-fridge for food. I'll leave in a bit. I'll bring back whatever I can fit in the bag."

He licked the chocolate and folded up the map.

"Maybe a beanbag would be nice, and a radio..."

It sounded...seriously, like they were going to live here. On weekends and off-days, this place would be where they would stay if they chose to.

"You stay here and play, I'll get what I can."

Near nodded solemnly, still unsmiling.

"Alright, Mello. Thank you."

He sat on his legs, uncomfortable, but unable to sit in his preferred way, and began lining the dominoes. In reality, he didn't want to be left alone; the Loft frightened him somewhat, and he'd much rather have had Mello by his side...

It was the disregard he felt for his own privacy that truly spooked him. Reclusive, anti-social Near, with a roommate...and Mello, no less...he was unsure as to when they'd be at Wammy's and when they'd be at the Loft. He was even more unsure of L's intentions...what exactly was it they were supposed to be doing up here?

Mello emptied the paper bag, setting the food on the desk for Near and turning away, walking towards the hallway and stopping at the threshold of the door. He ate the rest of his chocolate and stuffed the foil in his pocket.

"I'll be right back."

He turned to the first torch on the right and bent down, pressing his palm against a false stone and standing up as a piece of the wall receded, the tunnel to Wammy's open. Without hesitation, Mello ran into the darkness, the stone slipping back into place on its own.

He didn't have to be Near to see pretty well in the dim light as he made his way through the long tunnel network, eventually coming to the vent exit leading to the corner of the common room. He unlocked the trapdoor and slid in carefully, peering out of the grate to make sure no one was there. Good. It was lunchtime, and not a soul was seen. Mello unlatched the vent and crawled out, latching it back and standing up. What did they need...?

He took a stop at his room first to pick up a spare pair of clothing and the flashlight. As for the first aid kit, there was always a few in the lavatories. He went there next, nicking the kit away without any trouble and putting it into the bag. He went to the washroom to pick up some blankets, going next to the supply room and grabbing batteries. The bag was full and slightly heavy, and the tunnel entrance was luckily in the supply room. Mello repeated the process of unlatching the vent and reopening the door to the tunnels with his key, running back without a sound, coming out again in the puzzle room. It had been a good hour that he was running around everywhere, and calmly he walked back down the hallway, stopping at the threshold and rolling his eyes.

"Neaaaaar. I'm hooooome."

The heavy sarcasm here was good to hear after the incident earlier as Mello walked in, placing the bag on the desk.

Near looked up from his place in the center of a circle of dominoes. He'd taken great care to place them black side up, and was sitting contentedly in his little trap. Across from him was a circle surrounded entirely by dominoes white-side up; he was amused by the empty circle.

"Welcome home. Could you please sit in that for a moment? And please don't knock any over. I want to see something."

He was glad his rival had returned. He hoped his eyes could reflect that pleasure.

"Hm?"

Mello cocked his head and edged over to the other circle carefully, standing a minute than sitting in the circle, surrounded by white, facing Near. He was confused and curious as to what exactly Near was doing, but he would find out anyways in a minute no doubt.

"What am I supposed to do? Just sit here?"

"Yes, that's it."

He flicked a domino; within a few seconds, the carpet vanished beneath him, the dominoes completely surrounding him in black, and he sat as solid white amongst them. Slowly, the dominoes traveled toward Mello, and the giant circle, half-complete, flipped colors, eating away at the space around Mello, a white tear-drop surrounding black. They continued to fall, working inward, until the two sets of collided, white against black, fitting together perfectly; Near's white clothing stood out in stark contrast to the black porcelain around him, as Mello's dark clothing did to the white drop. Together, they sat, two circles inside of a larger one, balancing each other out, different parts of a set, but both sets part of the circle. Near smiled.

"I like it when none of them go astray."

Mello blinked at the display. Was Near saying something without words? Or was this just a form of amusement for him. Mello decided against asking, wondering how in the hell Near had the patience to set up every single domino in the giant yin yang...

"Black and white, huh? How did you have the patience to set all this up? Or were you just bored? I take it that you understand L's intentions then. He's trying to get us to work together on things in the most weird way. I'm assuming we'll need this room now that we have it, but I don't know why..."

He chuckled and stood up, gazing at the circle with a glint in his eye.

Near gazed up at Mello. "We are supposed to work together, from rivals, to partners. The only question I have is, what is it that we're working on? An assignment?"

He shook his head, bemused, and began to clean up his mess. He felt sticky again...he flushed and shifted to sit on his legs, hoping Mello didn't notice the small movement.

"It's your turn to shower. Go on while I clean up. Then show me what you brought, okay?"

Mello eyed Near carefully. He was very acute when it came to watching people's reactions, and Near wasn't the one who trained his eyes. No, it was long before they even met that his eyes were trained for any reactions, be it pain, pleasure, anything.

"Are you still bleeding?"

The question held a "don't lie to me 'cause I'll find out anyway" tone. It was a warning, plain and clear, but the purpose was because of concern. He was going to wait for Near's response before stalking off to the shower.

Near stopped cleaning up the mess of dominoes to entwine a finger into a lock of white hair.

"...probably."

Nah, there was nothing probable about it. He could feel it, could smell it, and briefly flashed to how rude he had been to Linda a few months ago, when she was complaining of cramps during her monthly...Near suddenly found himself with a new respect for women. The sticky feeling wasn't going away, and as it built, so did the pain. That was something he hated...the last thing he needed was for Mello to see him in pain. Near repeated himself.

"It's nothing. Please don't worry about me."

Mello shook his head, a shadow falling over his eyes. He couldn't help but feel guilty. He wanted to discard pain, not resurrect and inflict it. He wasn't one of them.

But he was beginning to fear his lack of self control.

Mello said nothing, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. He quickly stripped off his clothes and chucked them into the hamper, starting the shower and stepping in. He sat a minute later, legs crossed, hand massaging his temples as he stared at the bloodstain that was still there. Finally, he closed his eyes to block out the sight.

'What's your real name?'

'Mihael.'

'Mihael...why do they take Hope away? She always looks so...hurt. They always Shock her.'

'I don't know. The bad guy does something to her.'

'I'm scared...'

'Not me. I'm just scared for Hope.'

'They took Love away last night too...'

Mello's mind was in a mess because of that one bloodstain, because he did what that man did. He tried to be careful...but...

Balled fists attached themselves to his head and a stab of rage flooded him.

'Get away from Hope!'

'Courage, NO!'

'AHHHHHH!'

The scream echoed through his mind and he blinked rapidly, not realizing he was actually shaking. That was the worst Shocking of his life...and then while he was weak...

Stop! WAKE UP, MELLO WAKE UP!

Mello shook his head violently, sending small droplets of water everywhere. He wordlessly grabbed the shampoo, eyes put into a coma of sorts, a dead wall to block out the memories.

(NS)

Near sighed softly as he dropped the last domino into the box. His mind was buzzing, aching, flashing...he was getting a migraine. His eyes burned. Too many emotions, too much to take in, and he was so exhausted...

He flopped onto the carpet gracelessly, on his side, his eyes blank. It was his fault. He knew it. Whatever he felt physically didn't matter; something was wrong with Mello, and he kept triggering it...he wondered how long he'd been doing that...

Wondered how long it would be before Mello hated him again.

The pain between his legs was starting to really become bothersome...and he wouldn't stop bleeding.

"...I'm sorry, Mello..."

-

So much angst. ;; Anyway. Review plz. :3