HELLO, ALL! I apologize for the greaaat delay of about... 10 months. You may proceed throwing your rotten tomatoes, but for now, I hope you enjoy this new chapter.

SORRIES!

Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own PMK.

Mission Impossible

Chapter 3: The Comedian Trio, the Demon, and the Relevation

It was eerily quiet in the teahouse, Souji mused, playing with the stiff collar of his pink kimono. He supposed the girls did not start taking customers until after dinner, at earliest. Even then, seeing the brothel's inconvenient position far off Shimabara's main street (not to mention a sumo-sized hole for a front door), it came to no surprise that there were barely any customers around during rush hour.

He silently thanked the teahouse's poor business. He'd rather be bored than be…

Oh, and about that.

He sighed. Really, just how was he supposed to pull this off? Perhaps Hijikata thought that it wouldn't take him long at all to complete the mission, but then again, Hijikata had supplied him with enough money to stay at the inn for about two weeks.

…Wait. Why would Hijikata give him all that money if he was going to stay at the brothel in the first place? Souji scratched his nose absently. It never occurred to him that Hijikata could be so careless. Maybe Hijikata had thought that it would take him two weeks to find the brothel…? That was rather unlikely.

Souji smiled. At least now he had extra money to buy candy with.

Speaking of which… Why was it taking so long for Koko to cook dinner? It had been light outside when he first sat down with the rest of the girls at the dining hall. And now – Souji glanced out the window – it looked like the sun had set a while ago.

He sighed again. Was this a regular thing here? It was getting rather tiresome waiting for food with no entertainment whatsoever.

Souji blinked. Oh dear. Where were—

"Ladies and gentleman!" cried the Comedian Trio in unison, standing in the front of the dining table. Shinpachi threw a wink at Souji.

"We, the Comedian Three, will host your entertainment show tonight!" roared Sanosuke. "Behold, my beauties, Sano the Strong! Heisuke the Hilarious! And Shinpachi the Scrawny!"

Shinpachi the Scrawny promptly stomped on Sanosuke's foot.

A few of the girls giggled, whispering to each other.

"I apologize for Sano the Stupid," said Shinpachi. "I am Shinpachi the Savior!"

"No, no, my friends," Sanosuke exclaimed, shaking his head. "He is mistaken. I am Sano the Smart. Shinpachi is only a shy little boy. Wouldn't you agree?"

The giggles grew louder.

"Now, now, Sano," Heisuke interrupted, stepping forward. "You may be 'Sano the Smart,' but I am Heisuke the Handsome. Ladies love me more for my dashing looks than your silliness."

"Nice try, Sano and Heisuke, but I'm afraid there will be no more ladies for you after they see me, for I am…" Shinpachi paused and shouted, "Shinpachi the Sexy!"

By now, everyone was openly laughing. Souji grinned. He had to admit, the Comedian Trio were truly… amazing, in a strange sort of way. Maybe, when they returned back to their headquarters, he would ask them to put on a show once in a while. Of course, Hijikata would blatantly reject such a thing, but it wouldn't be too hard to convince him otherwise.

Really, a chance at comedy would be nice.

A loud round of applause sounded after the play's finale two hours later. As it had turned out, the Comedian Trio had dragged Koko into play as well, and the four of them used up the hours rehearsing rather than preparing dinner.

In the end, though, with his warm dinner sitting comfortably in his stomach, Souji decided it was well worth the long wait and wondered briefly whether or not they were going to continue to put on more shows any time soon. For now, at least, he was as content as he could be, dressed in a pink kimono.

"Well, Souji," said Shinpachi, plopping down next to him, "what did you think of our debut?"

Souji smiled warmly. "To tell you the truth, Shinpachi, I am surprised that you guys haven't put on a show before. I rather liked it."

"Really?" Shinpachi asked, grinning.

Souji nodded.

"Heh, if Hijikata was here to see his three captains putting on a play—"

"Oh!" gasped Souji suddenly. "Does he know that you're all here?"

"…No."

Meanwhile at the Shinsengumi Headquarters…

"Where the hell are they?!"

Crash!

"I send Souji off to Shimabara and suddenly I find that I've been robbed of my money. I allowed Shinpachi to go to Shimabara even after he dumped salt in my tea and then BANG! the three of them just go wandering off without even bothering to tell me where the hell they are. I am a complete and utter genius! In the span of forty-eight hours I've managed to loose four of my captains to those hellish jaws of Shimabara. I swear, once they come back I'll—"

"…Excuse me."

"—and now I have to wait for Susumu to come back just so I can send him out again to track those lazy—"

"Ahem. Excuse me."

"…Oh. Welcome back, Susumu. I didn't expect you to be back so quickly."

Susumu merely nodded.

Hijikata sighed. "I'm sure you know what to do now."

"Yes, sir."

"Go track down Shinpachi, Sanosuke, and Heisuke. They should be with Souji in the brothel that the sumo rolled into. You do know where it is, right?"

"…Yes, sir." …A sumo?

"Good. You are dismissed."

Settling back down into his chair, Hijikata took out his haiku book from beneath his desk (for there was no more need to hide it once Souji left) and dipped his brush into the ink bottle. For a minute, he didn't know what to write. He stared at the blank page and just sat there, twirling around the brush. With both Souji and the Comedian Trio gone, boredom settled into the headquarters like heavy dust.

Hijikata sighed and gently put down his brush. There would be no haiku today.

He had long learned that inspiration came from most everything except boredom.

"…Koko-san," started Souji, walking into the kitchen with an armload of dirty plates.

Koko paused from his dishwashing and greeted him with a smile. "Yes, my angel?"

"Where is your employer?" spluttered Souji suddenly. "I've been here all evening and I still haven't seen—"

"I am the employer!"

Souji paused. "…What?"

"Yup."

"I… I thought you were the cook—"

"Hm?" Koko gave him a questioning look. "You haven't heard?"

"…Heard what?"

"You know, the whole story of how the sumo wrestler rolled right through—"

"Wait," Souji interrupted. "So you mean it's true?"

"Why yes, of course!"

"You mean," said Souji, horrified, "that he's dead? Your manager is dead?"

"Well, he's not exactly alive."

"…Heck no."

"…What?" Koko turned around, confused. To his surprise, Souji was long gone from the kitchen. Koko simply shrugged and turned back to his dirty dishes, humming yet another unrecognizable tune.

Ho ho ho. And there we are, folks. Any comments, questions, and rotten tomatoes can be delivered through a click of the "REVIEW!" button. xD

Toodles.

~Kuroshiki

3/28/2009