Chapter 2
It's About Bloody Time!
"G'mornin' Mr. T." I grumbled in wot I hoped was a way wot was somewhat cheerful. I rubbed my eyes and blindly walking into the room, stumbling over something - what the bloody hell was tha' anyway? - Oh, it was Mr. Todd's foot.
"Awake by now, lad?" He boomed, slapping me on the back n' causin' me to almost fall righ' on my face. Instead I stumbled forward a few steps like a drunkard and turned around mindlessly to slump myself down in the barber's chair. It was too bloody early.
"It's too bloody early!" I moaned, and Mr. T responded by kneeling next to the chair, his breath uncomfortable tickling my neck. "Careful boy," He drawled, "my next attempt at waking you will bloody well be an ice cold pail o' water."
I opened my eyes as wide as I could manage in response and he stood up, pullin' me up with him. He pushed me gently towards the mirror n' counter as he moved to sit in the chair in my place. "One more shave, lad, without too much blood and I'll consider your involvement with an actual customer." He turned to give me a half smile before leanin' into the chair, ready to be cut to ribbons - er - I mean shaved. Heh. It's a bloody wonder he was gonna risk his neck again just for me learnin' of the trade. I wos grateful I wos.
I swilled the foam around jus' like he taught me before approaching him, pulling my razor gently out of its holder. I foamed 'im up with ease, cos that was the only bloody easy part, and he flinched slightly as the first stroke of me blade grazed his chin. To his surprise, bugger, even to mine! - I didn't even scratch him!. I finished the shave with only a few nicks here and there and smiled widely at him as he wiped his face on his towel.
"Well boy, I'll say that was the cleanest shave this place has seen in months." He grinned oddly at me, and I felt as if I wos missin' some awful good joke. I stood there for minutes like a bleedin' fool before mumbling a right cowardly "Thank you, sir." Normally, I would've been excited and the like, but that glint in his eye that thankfully disappeared a moment ago was nothin' short of completely disturbin'. He noticed my discomfort, I reckon, cos he stood up and cleared his throat carefully. I'd never seen Mr. T nervous, n' I knew he was right then for some reason, so I began to get worried.
"Boy, Toby, I realize you care for your mother very much..." he began, and I quickly jumped to defense of me mum. If he bloody touched a damn hair on her innocent head -
"Wot happened to her? Wot did you do? I swear, sir I -
"Calm DOWN boy," He interjected, "I didn't do nothing to her. Well, I sorta did but, o BLOODY hell! She's fine alright!"
I could do nothing but blink up at him in disbelief and back away half a pace. He sighed.
"What I meant was, I care for her too, I mean I only just realised this, an' I figured I might warn you we'd be...sharing her." He rubbed his forehead in exasperation, "or something like that."
Good God, the invincible barber was acting awkward! Wot did he mean by - oh. OH! I grinned madly, "I always KNEW yeh fancied her!!!" He gave me a stern look, and I simmered down. "She loves ya, Mr. Todd." I said solemnly, almost like a warning, and he half smirked, half smiled at me.
"I know, lad." I nodded at him slowly, trying to contain me smile as I turned to leave, but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him curiously.
"I was, uh, wondering if we could...share you too Toby." He looked down at the floor, not knowing what to do with 'is eyes I suppose.
"Share? I ain't no toy nor object, sir." He faltered a bit, looking up at me, the hardness momentarily leavin' his eyes, and I smiled shyly.
"But I think I could make a pretty good son."