…wow. That was fast. O.o

I have NO idea what just happened! O.O I was sitting on our family's boat, with a writing pad and suddenly I just…felt my hand write by it's own! It was one of those moments when you hear hallelujah singing in the background!

Err…yeah. Anyway. I won't keep you waiting with my personal rambles. XD Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own. Would love to, though. Give me early Christmas present? –puppyeyes-

Pairings: SetoxJou, obviously! DUH! Some hints for YamixYugi and BakuraxRyou as well.

Warnings: NO ANZU-BASHING! Kinda. XD Not obvious anyway. :P Um…some bad language and thoughts. Brought to you by Jou's mind.

Jou: Heey!

Anyway. Read, enjoy and review, peeps!

Chapter 5

Normal POV

Step 5: One word, girl: FLIRT! Pull out all the stops! Use the 'pickup lines'. Nothing beats the ol' classic "Did You know You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen?" Give Him the hints of what you want….and what He can get.

Jou paled as he read the fifth advice. Flirt? With KAIBA?

He tried to imagine the look on Kaiba's face if he told him he had beautiful eyes. The result wasn't pretty. But at least the thought have Jou a good laugh for about fifteen minutes.

So, compliments were definitely out of the picture. What about 'pick up lines'?

Jou's mind screeched to a sudden stop at the thought.

How the hell did you flirt with a multibillionair, duelist champion, genius CEO of Kaiba Corporation with social skills equal to an ice-cube?

Some lines immediately popped up in Jou's mind to answer that question.

"So, tell me…is mini-Seto as thick as your wallet?"

"Is that a Flout of Summoning Dragons in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Want me to bend over your desk, Kaiba-sama?"

"I'm positively charged, you're negative…let physics do it's job!" (1)

Jou forcefully shook his head to clear out the stupid lines, blushing to the same shade as Yami's eyes. That was not going to work, not happen(even if the third line DID sound rather interesting)!

Jou groaned in annoyance, stuffing the pink magazine into his school bag again(yes, he brought the bloody thing to school to read the advices, shut up!). Then, he slumped down over his desk, chin leaning on his crossed arms. He had come to school really early to think about the new step, but so far it hadn't really given him anything but a headache and mental images of Kaiba that…he really shouldn't be thinking about in school. Ahem.

Our blond hero was so lost in thought (and warding off ho- err, BAD mental images) that he didn't notice the arrival of the very object of his mind's attention.

Kaiba rose a slim eyebrow at noticing Jou. It was rather…surprising to see him in school at such an early hour.

A smirk grew on Kaiba's face when he noticed the far away look in the puppy's amber eyes. The day was starting out very nicely…

With a nonchalant stride, Kaiba walked up to Jou's desk and put down his metal briefcase next to it. Jou was still staring out in the air, not even blinking.

Smirking wider, Seto leaned over the blonde's form from behind, hands on either side of his desk. He leaned down.

"…is the puppy daydreaming about doggie-bones?" Kaiba mumbled softly, right into Jou's ear.

The reaction was immediate (and highly amusing to the teenage CEO).

Jou gave a loud, surprised sound, flinching up from his desk. He would have fallen out of his chair, if the brunet's arm hadn't been in the way. Jou quickly scrambled himself to sit normally again, snapping his head around to stare up into the one and only smirking face of Kaiba Seto.

"You damned…!" Jou quickly bit off his angry reply. Calling Kaiba a damned bastard with a God-complex and something shoved up his rear end probably wasn't such a good way of flirting. He figured. But, really, if that turned the CEO on, then he'd be very happy to yell just that at that moment!

Instead, Jou formed his face into a sultry smile. Well, he hoped it was sultry, anyways. He might as well look like he was constipated.

Words suddenly just began running out of his mouth and Jou could only listen helplessly.

"Maybe he was…and perhaps his master should give him…a bone." Jou almost gaped at his own boldness. And then proceeded in kicking his mind's pervy butt.

Kaiba's eyebrows shot up under his hair for a few seconds. He almost, dare I write it, looked surprised(!). But, he quickly composed himself and looked as unaffected as ever.

"Only good dogs get treats, mutt." Kaiba drawled, smirking. "And I don't think you've been one."

"Oh, have I been…bad?" Someone purred. Jou faintly recognized that voice as his own. It didn't stop at only that, oh no. "You gonna punish me?"

…if Jou had ever wished to be mute, it was now.

Kaiba's eyebrow twitched. A rather big reaction to be him. Jou suspected that he had just severely damaged his brain by that statement.

Before the CEO could respond to the rather obvious hint to sexual intercourse, their classmates were starting to file into the classroom. Amongst them, the group Kaiba so fondly had dubbed 'the dork squad', with Yugi in the frontline.

Kaiba frowned slightly before turning back to the deeply mortified blond. Giving another smirk, which Jou found to be very sexy and definitely drool-worthy, the brunet suddenly leaned very close to put his mouth JUST next to Jou's ear.

"I'll have to cut this discussion short, Jounouchi…but remember this." Kaiba breathed hotly on Jou's ear, making him shudder. "Bad dogs like yourself don't get treats. They get…punishment…which I am not afraid to hand out." With a deep chuckle, that had Jou melting in his chair, Kaiba straightened, grabbed the suitcase and strode to his seat in the furthest back, graceful as ever.

Jou sat frozen stiff in his seat. His heart was anything but stiff, though. Nor frozen. It was warm, fuzzy and happily jumping around on small pink clouds amongst his ribcage(how there can be pink clouds amongst someone's ribcage…don't look at me! I'm an authoress, not an effing anatomy professor!)

Then, his mind finally caught up with his skipping heart. And he blushed deeply. Had…Kaiba just flirted back with him?!

"Good morning, Jou." Yugi greeted, sitting down next to him.

"Morning…" Jou responded distractedly, staring out into the distance.

"Ne, what did Kaiba want?" Yugi blinked up at him curiously.

Jou's very creative mind came up with several answers to that question, some of them rather…ahem, R-rated.

"Err…" He quickly snapped out of those thoughts. "He just…came to…you know, call me a dog, mutt…the usual stuff." Jou shrugged. What? It was partly true…Kaiba HAD called him a dog and all that…even if it hadn't been 'the usual stuff' at all.

"Fuck!" Honda growled, sending a glare at the CEO, who merely rolled his eyes slightly and ignored him. "He's SUCH a bastard!"

"…bastard…" Jou agreed dreamily.

"I'm so gonna punch his teeth out one day!"

"…teeth…" Perfectly white, straight teeth…

"Then I'm kick his ass!"

"…ass…" Very nice, firm ass by the looks of it.

"And then I'm gonna tell him to shove it right up his-"

"Honda!" Anzu shrieked so the foul word next uttered wasn't heard.

"…shove…" Jou knew just where he wanted Seto to…'shove it'. Heh.

"…Jou, are you even listening to me?"

"…"

"JOU!"

And while Honda screamed at Jou to get his attention, Jou was happily dreaming away in his personal, admittedly perverted little word, thinking about a certain, blue eyed and brown haired teenager sitting in the other end of the classroom.

End chapter!

(1) Me and my friends thought this one up. XD Don't ask.

…yes. That ending sucked.

But still! New chapter! I got it out! Mohahahahahhaha-chokes-

Yeah…my writer's block finally released it's evil hold on me. XD For a little while at least. Dunno when I can get the next chapter up…hopefully not in a too distant future? I'll write as much as I can when I find the will to, and will update as soon as it's done, as always.

So…please, leave me a review? It would so make my day! –checks watch- Or, err, night.

Love and chocolate for all!

-The Blonde Midget