CHAPTER FOUR

That night I lay in my bed, just staring at the ceiling. A part of me hated Dad to the very core, wherever he was, but another part of my wanted to meet him… see what he was like… and then hate him.

I sighed and rolled over to lie on my stomach, my head turned toward the window. "I wonder if other kids have this problem…?" I murmured to myself, watching the trees across the street move with the wind.

And through that night, I barely got an ounce of sleep. I was just about to fall asleep, too, when my alarm went off, and I groaned. "Aw man…" I complained and slammed my small fist on the snooze button, sitting upright and rubbing my eyes. "I don't want to go to school, dang it…" I got up from bed and dragged myself out of my room, into the kitchen. The smell of organically squeezed orange juice and sausages wafted to my nose and I blinked, looking to Mom.

"Hey Mom…" I murmured, not asking about the different breakfast today as I sat down in my usual seat.

"Morning honey," She greeted and set down a plate of bacon, eggs, sausage and a glass of orange juice. I glanced to the counter and smiled slightly, see the juiceless oranges scattered on the cutting bored.

She got herself a plate also, sitting across from me.

We were both silent for a while, until I had to ask.

"What's with the special breakfast, Mom?"

She glanced up to me and smiled softly, saying, "Honey, it's Saturday, remember?" I blinked and stared at her for a moment, looking over to the calendar.

"Oh right!" I said and laughed uneasily, taking a bite of my sausage. She laughed lightly and took a drink of her milk.

"You forgot the date again, didn't you?" She accused me, sending a playful scowl my way. I couldn't help but grin and put my hands up in defeat.

"Yes, yes, guilty as charged." I said, and we both laughed together. I liked these kinds of moments. Mom and I, laughing, as if I wasn't sick and there was nothing to worry about.

"Do we get to go anywhere later?" I asked hopefully after our laughter died down, stabbing an egg.

"I was thinking we could go up to the reservation and go to the beach." She suggested with a small smile. I gave her a smile back and nodded. "Sure, sounds good. As long as I don't fall into the water," I responded, momentarily remembering when I was eight and had done just that.

"Well of course we'll probably just look at the tide pools." She reasoned.

"That sounds better." I finished off my breakfast and tossed the plate in the sink.

"Why don't you go ahead and get ready? I'll clean up." She said as she got up from her seat, taking her dishes over to the sink.

"Sure," I walked back to my room when I remembered I had the same stuff I was wearing yesterday on. I sighed and tugged them off, searching through my drawers until I found some reasonable clothes; some loose fitting jeans and another white beater that read "Angel with horns.", something Grandma Renee gave me for my birthday. I tugged on some sneakers and tied them in a double knot, grabbing my fishing net that I used to catch fish, and walked out to see Mom jingling her car keys.

"Ready?" She asked, already heading out the door.

"Yup," We walked over to the Honda, getting in and heading off to La Push. Mom put on some music and LMNT came on, and I had to sing with it.

"I think, you're fine! You really blow my mind! Maybe, someday, you and me can run away!" I sang.

"I just want you to know! I wanna be your Romeo! Hey Juliet!" Mom joined in.

"HEY JULIET!" We both said together and laughed.

"I love that song." I said after it ended. Sadly we had turned it on when it was half way over, so it was short lived. Mom nodded her head in agreement, and I could tell by looking at her eyes that she was thinking about something. No doubt Dad.

After about another fifteen minutes, we reached out destination. She turned off the car as I got out, stretching my arms in the air and popping my back loudly.

"Ow… didn't that hurt, honey?" Mom said as she got out, and I laughed.

"It's better then having it all knotted up." We walked down the rocky beach, over to the little path that led to the tide pools. We eventually got there, and Mom said to stay in sight.

I walked over to the closest tide pool and climbed up to sit perched on the rock, staring down at the life below me.

There was a small guppy coming my way, so I got my net ready.

Closer… closer…
I fell backward when I seagull came diving down, snatching the guppy and flying off. Gasping, I clutched my heart as I was sent into a fit of violent coughs, curling up as my lungs burned, needing air.

"Charity?" Mom's worried voice came from a distance, but I couldn't respond. I was too busy trying to not fall into the tide pool and breathe at the same time.

"Charity!" Now she was yelling, and I could faintly hear her shoes crunching on the rocks as she came over. "Charity! Charity you need to look at me honey!" She said and held my head in her hands, staring at me with those big brown eyes of hers.

I tried to calm her down, but talking just made my body shake with another cough.

"Oh g0d, Charity, Charity look at me sweetie." I did as she was told, though I could barely see through the tears the blurred my vision. Everything was hurting now. And my coughs just wouldn't stop.

"Listen to me, honey, you need to calm down." She said in that voice she used in these situations. "Just breathe deeply, just try and breathe."

I tried to, but when my lungs were halfway filled with air the pushed it right back out like I was punched in the chest.

"Come on, I know you can do it!" She urged me, and I think she was crying to, her hands shaking on my face. "Just try again."

I continued to cough for a few moments, and then took in a huge, shaky breath, letting it out slowly.

"Good, good… now, do it again…" She murmured and I felt myself being lifted up into her lap while I continued trying to control my breathing.

It took a while, but eventually my heart slowed along with my coughs, and I was just sitting in her hold, silently sobbing. I felt my hair getting wet, and now I was positive she was crying.

"That was too close…" She whispered and kissed my head, rocking me slightly. "I don't know what I would've done if I lost you…"
I sniffed, feeling like a child right now. Here I was, being comforted by my own Mother, as if I had just tripped and cut my knee on the road.

I slowly looked up to her pained eyes, wiping my tears away as I murmured, "Mom… it…. It's getting worse…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We drove back to Forks in silence, not wanting to talk after the incident. Mom was still crying softly, because occasionally I would see a tear fall. I had my knees up to my chest with my arms wrapped arm them, staring out the window at all the trees.

Why does this have to happen to me? I thought to myself and shook my head. What did I do to deserve this horrible disease? I knew it was ridiculous talking to someone in my head, but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't go to Mom, it would make her feel like a bad mother. Jacob would no doubt tell her, along with pretty much everyone else I know in my family. I don't have any friends to turn to either.

Right then I could've sworn I saw something flash by in the trees, but when I looked ahead, there wasn't anything there. Just my imagination running off again.

I sighed when we pulled up to the house, unbuckling my seatbelt and stepping out.

I walked right inside, through the living, into the kitchen, and out the backdoor to our backyard. I took a few steps before falling down backward on the grass, staring at the trees that outlined our whole backyard.

"… This sucks…" I finally said and laid back to stare at the cloudy sky, not having to worry about getting a glimpse of the sun and injuring my eyes. It was considered a miracle for there to be sun here, the same thing with snow.

"I at least just wanna get rid of being hot all the time…" I grumbled and rested my arms on the cold, wet grass beside me, groaning in irritation. "I feel like I'm in a freaking microwave! Gah!"

"Charity?" I lifted my head back to see Mom at the backdoor, looking at me worriedly. "Are you alright…?"

With a sigh, I said, "Yeah Mom… just thinking if I would feel more comfortable out in the backyard…" I said, trying to lighten the mood as I faked a smile. "I get a great view! Plus I could even go camping over in the woods!" At this she laughed softly.

"You might be hotter then other kids, sweetie, but that doesn't mean you still wouldn't get a cold." I snorted at that, giving another grin.

"Give me a cold any day! At least I wouldn't have to bathe in ice water anymore!" She smiled sadly and sighed.

"I'm going to take a nap, so don't be going out into town, got it?" She said, going to mother mode.

I sat up and turned around to face her, giving a salute. "Yes, ma'am!" She gave me a salute back and walked into the house.

Instantly when the door closed my frown came back and I fell down onto the cold grass, letting it wash over me. "Pff… ma'am…" I muttered with a sigh. "Weird…" I curled up in the grass as I relished the coldness that made my skin go numb, even though I was still extremely hot on the inside.

Before I even realized it, I had fallen asleep…