A Faith Story Chapter 6: Daytime Slumber Party, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

Buffy pov.

Last night Faith just seemed so...afraid. Like she really believed everything she was saying. I mean how can she believe that if even Tara thinks she's good? I know I said to myself I'd never forgive her but after the talk I had with Dawn, Anya, Xander and Tara last night I think I can. They made a valid point. If she wanted us dead she'd just do it already. She wouldn't have let us know she were back. And I can see the change. Its her eyes. They are far more expressive than before. They say I just didn't pay attention but I did. I paid plenty of attention. I reached out and tried to help her but she didn't want it. Everyone knows if you force something you just hurt the other person in the long run. Now her eyes say so much. They say she's scared, she's sorry, she's tired. Of what I don't know but she's tired. And now she's voicing her opinions. She said that before we always treated her like a back up. That is far from the truth. We only included her in things she could handle. And some meetings just weren't meant for her to attend. I mean she made us sound like the bad guys. Can you believe her? I mean we were her friends. Ugh. I don't need to stress myself thinking about her right now. She's back to help and I'm going to try and forgive her. I'm making no promises because a part of me knows she doesn't deserve it. But whatever forgiveness is the right thing to do and all that.

Faith pov.

I know I don't deserve their forgiveness and to be honest I don't want it anymore. At first I thought I needed it as proof. Proof that I was capable of more than causing pain. Capable of making up stories about sleepin with every guy I met cus I know that those stories are far from the truth.

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I got everythin I'll ever need. When this is over I got a home and a life I can go back too. I'm a college student, straight A I might add, I've got friends, sharin an apartment with a kick ass chick, and if I wanted it I could find somebody to love that'll love me. I don't need them to forgive me to feel better. Although I must admit I do love hangin out with Dawn. I'm more than glad that she doesn't hate me. But outside of everything else I'm good.

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

I can't and I wont ask for anything more. I don't need it. Nothin compares.

"Hey Faith." I look up and see Dawn and queen C peekin in through my door.

"Hey guys, c'mon in." I say. They come in and I think I just choked on air. "Um is there a reason you two have on pajamas at...1:30 in the afternoon?" I ask.

"Well of course. We are having a mini-daytime slumber party before the boys and Fred get here." Cordy says.

"Mini-daytime slumber party? Guys I may not have ever been ta one but I thought the whole point of a slumber party was to have fun at night." I say. Dawn just hops on the bed. She looks so adorable in her scooby doo pj's

"Well so what. We need a way to relax before tonight when everything is all tense. So I hope you don't mind but we invited Anya, Tara, and Xander. They'll be here in their pj's any minute." D says. I look at them.

"Cordelia why the hell are you wearin mickey mouse shirt?" I ask. I look at Dawn who is laughin'. "Silence! I keel you!" she stops and looks at me before laughin harder.

"Its comfy." Cordy says hopping on the bed. I'm about to say somethin but X-man interrupts.

"We come baring junk food and bad movies." he says. Well isn't he cute.

"Dude I have the same pajamas." I say indicating to his Gary from spongebob get up.

"I told you he was cool An." he says. She just looks at him.

"It isn't cool Xander. You're a grown man and I wish you would have chosen something different. Like Patrick" she says.

"Hey! Gary beats Patrick any day! Right X?" I ask.

"Right." he says givin me a high five.

"I don't know I agree with Anya." Tara says smiling.

"You just lost 3 cool points." I say dramatically. She nods and looks hurt.

"I understand. I'll try to cope." she says. We all gather around on my bed eatin chips and cookies drinkin way too much soda.

"So Faith, will you tell us about you first boyfriend?" Xander asks. Ya know it should be strange with him but it all seems so comfortable. I nod.

"Sure. It was this guy named Terry. Lived across the hall from me and my brother when I was 13." I say. He was one of those change at the drop of a dime guys. "Anyway met in eight grade and we got along great. We didn't officially become a couple until my 14 birthday. He was really sweet at first. But after a few months I thought I was in love and he got all the control and self respect I had." I stop for a moment.

When I stand in a crowded room
I feel alone like nobody's there
And when you talk cold to me
I can see your breath in the air
It's taking it's toll on me
In the bathroom taking showers
So you don't see me cry
Baby it's such a crime

"Got real mean made me hate myself." I say.

I try to feel confident
I'm bitter - You're not making sense
I missed you 'til you almost took my sanity
I started a new verse like

"After our first time he started to get physical but by then my brother was locked up so I was stayin with him. He constantly reminded me of where I came from and how my mom used to sleep with folks for money and or drugs. But then there was still times when he was sweet. Told me he loved me once and I thought my heart was gonna explode."

Poetry, you're hiding behind the words you speak
Changing the words of the story
You say you don't love me then say that you love me
I'm fighting
You're hiding behind the words you're speaking
You're changing the words, I'm lost in the verse
You say you don't love me then say that you love me
Why are you hiding?

"I was one of those little cliché women who don't leave cus they love him or their afraid. It was both in my case. I was constantly tryin to show him how much he meant to me and keep him happy. Finally my brother got out of juvie and I moved back in with him and his mom." Xander cuts in.

"I thought your brother was older." he says.

"Not as old as I made him sound. He's only 2 years older. We got the same dad but me and his mom didn't get along. When he got locked up she tried to send me home."

When I give you gratitude
You act like you don't hear me speak
When I tell you what you do to me
You don't even hear the truth
What are you trying to prove; I stare out of the window for hours
Cause you don't listen to me
You won't even look in my eyes

I try to feel confident
I'm bitter - You're not making sense
I missed you 'til you almost took my sanity
I started a new verse like

"When I got called I got ballsy. Told him if he ever touched me again I'd fuck him up."

"He stopped hittin me and shit and got nice. Shortly after, by then I was almost 15, my watcher found me. When I told him I was getting adopted and movin he blew up. Slapped me once and I showed him a real bitch. Probably woulda killed him if my watcher hadn't came in when she heard yellin. Found out that later my brother confronted him and ended up killin him when he found out he beat on me. After that my watcher helped me get my pride and self esteem back but I never got there fully. Til recently. Cordy helped with that." somewhat. I'm workin on it.

"Wow." Xander says.

"Yeah. so... what time will the boys get here cus Angel will flip when he sees this room." I ask.

"No he wont." we hear from the door way.

"Fang!" I exclaim loudly.

"Faith. Children." he greets us. I look to my window. Damn didn't even notice it had got dark. Oh well.

"Angel where is- dear lord! Cordelia you let her have soda AND candy?!" uh oh. Wes is scared and Cordy is in trouble.

"Yeah. We where having a daytime slumber party." she says sheepishly.

"I'm not a child ya know I can choose what I can and cannot have." I say pouting. Ok maybe that isn't helpin me at all.

"Uh huh. Like you did at the Christmas party when you ate so much cake Gunn had to play football with Fred for three days?" wes asks. Ok so sometimes I'm like a child but still.

"Hey Faith I got the x box and new games!" I hear Gunn yell. Well that's my cue. I hop up quickly and faintly hear Angel and Wes tellin Cordy she's gonna have to deal with the hyper slayer. He he. She'll be tired by the time I'm finished.

I don't own the songs. The first one is Say(All I Need) by onerepublic. Its their latest single I think. Anyway the second one is by the extremely talented and beautiful women of Danity Kane. Its called Poetry and its on their welcome to the dollhouse album. So yeah they aren't mine. Anyways review please.