Cordelia pov.
There is so much about Faith that nobody knows. That they'd never guess. And I'm honored to say I know all of it. All the good the bad and the ugly. But there was a time when I thought I'd lose her trust. I told Fred one of her secrets. But I can't keep anything from Fred. I don't want to keep anything from her. But I know it wasn't my place to tell that. It was one night after patrol. Faith had just gotten back to the Hyperion and she went straight to bed. This was unusual for two reasons, 1: she never ends patrol before two and it was only midnight, and two: she looked like she had been crying. Of course I went to investigate. If it brought tears to her it must've been serious meaning I was going to have to hurt someone. That was the beginning of my protective streak. Anyway I went to her room after I pulled myself away from staring at Fred and all of her beauty. When I got up there she was curled into the fetal position crying her eyes out. But it was done silently. I just sat on my knees beside the bed staring at her:
"you wanna talk about it?" I asked. She looked at me and nodded. All you have to do is show you're not going to judge her and she'll become and open book. I realized that just then. Anyway she scooted over in the bed and I sat beside her. She laid her head on my shoulder.
"The vamp I had to stake tonight...i knew him." she whispered.
"How?" I asked. Just because she trusted me didn't mean she didn't need a push to opening up.
"Before sunnydale, he was my boyfriend. The second serious relationship I ever had. At least I thought it was. He didn't." she said.
There was a rose I knew, I met her once or twice before
She was a pretty sweet thing, not the least bit insecure
Then you came with your slick game and played with her youth
unashamed of the way you lied, played with the truth, hey, hey
"What happened?" I asked gently. She started to cry again and I just let her get it all out. She pulled herself together shortly after.
"After my watcher found me I moved to north Boston with her. I met this guy, Greg, and he was so sweet. I had just broken up with my last boyfriend and he was there for me from the beginning. I swear he was like a prince. After four months we decided to give us a go." she paused.
She never knew what hit her
Steal her honey than forget her
Now the rose is scorned
She wears her thorns tryin' to forget about you
"he wasn't abusive like the last guy. He was sweet all the time. Hell even my watcher approved of him. He was respectful and never pressured me to do anything. For my 15th birthday he pulled me away from everything and we went to the park. I know it may not seem like much but it meant the world. I had school and slayin and a whole lotta other shit and he just took it away for a few hours. We had a picnic, relaxed, just enjoyed being around each other. When he took me home he stayed over for birthday cake. Anyway, time passed on and I knew I loved him."
Cause A rose is still a rose baby girl your still a flower
he can leave you and then take you make you and then break
you darlin' you hold the power
"Everything was perfect. Two months before I turned 16 it all changed. Before then he told me he loved me in a different way everyday. Flowers, notes, poems, he even had his band write me a couple songs. Anyway two months before hand I was ready. Ready to take that final step with him. He was gentle that night and he kept askin me was I sure. I told him yes but that never stopped him from checking." I had a feeling about what was coming next but it didn't stop me from wishing it hadn't happened. I know how much it hurts to love someone and be betrayed.
Now believe me when I tell you that I've been hurt my-self
when he tells you that he loves you it's you and nobody else
and now so tough tryin' to wear tight clothes and thangs
tossin' and flossin' tryin' to fill the void heart break brings
"he even stayed the whole night with me. He knew not to hold me so he said he was happy just lying there with me. When we woke up the next morning he was different but I just shrugged it off. Later that day when I tried to talk to him he blew me off. It hurt yeah but I just wrote it up as him bein busy. Anyway when he finally did talk to me I didn't expect what he said. He said it was fun but it wasn't workin. That I was killer in the sack but he needs somebody attractive and smart to be with and it just wasn't me. When I asked him what changed he said he didn't know he was dating a whore who'd give it up after a year and sweet words. That shit stung like nothin else. I mean I always knew I wasn't the hottest thing but did he have to be like that?" she asked me. From the way she acted you'd never know about her self esteem issues. This girl genuinely thought she was unattractive.
When she looks in the mirror
she crys but you can't hear her
now the rose is scorned
she wears her thorns
tryin' to forget about you
Cause A rose is still a rose
baby girl your still a flower
he can leave you and then take you make you
and then break you baby girl you hold the power
"Tonight I saw him. I knew instantly he was a vamp but it didn't stop the love I felt from comin back full force. I thought I had gotten over him but I didn't. Anyway as much as I hated to do it I staked him. Cordelia I killed the guy I said I loved. What the hell is wrong with me?" the she broke down. I sat with her lending my shoulder for as long as she needed it. This whole story she told me explained the 'get some get gone' routine she tried to play off. But I think deep down I always knew she didn't sleep with as many people as she said. She wasn't a slut or a whore she was just hurt trying to repel everyone to keep it from happening again. Once she started to talk.
"Faith listen, he was an ass. He didn't deserve you or you're love. Its obvious to anyone with eyes that you are not unattractive and you're not a whore. He wasn't worth your time and he isn't worth your tears. You didn't kill him tonight. You let him go. One day you're going to find a guy who loves you for you. All of you." I told her seriously.
Let your life beat in the sunshine
not the darkness of your sorrow
you may feel lost today
but new love will come tomorrow
don't believe that life is over
just because your man is gone
girl love your-self enough to know that
without him your life goes on
without him your life goes on
without him your life goes on
Cause a rose is still a rose baby girl your still a flower
he can leave you and then take you make you and then
break you darlin' you hold the power
"Or girl." she said. This caught me off guard.
"Huh?" I asked.
"Or girl. I'm bisexual." she said looking at my face. Then a whole lot of other things made sense. I can't believe nobody noticed it. She was in love with Buffy! Damn! Damn slow much Cordy.
"Ok. Or girl. But of course they have to pass the Cordy test. You know make sure they're good enough." I said. She look surprised that I accepted her like that but she smiled.
"Yeah. The Cordy test." she said. I could tell she was exhausted so I tucked her in and kissed her forehead. Before I got to the door she called my name. "Cor?" I turned to look at her. "Thanks." and that word meant so much.
"Anytime." then I left. When I got to the lobby Fred was the first one to ask was she ok and what was wrong. All Gunn and Angel asked was who did it. Wesley showed his concern through his eyes. I reassured everyone but I told Fred what she told me. I instantly felt guilty and the next morning I apologized before she was completely out of bed. She just smiled knowingly at me and told me it was ok cos she trusted Fred. Guess she knew I was in love. Finally I told her how I felt and she encourages me to go for it. I keep telling her I can't. Tonight though we made a deal. If I asked Fred out after the scooby meeting, I didn't have to hang out with her tonight. Now don't get me wrong I love hanging out with her but when she's this hyper its too much. So instead she's going to patrol with Buffy. You know she never admitted she was in love with her before but I can see she still is. Anyway the meeting is over Buffy and Faith just left so me and the AI crew are on our way to the mansion. I fall back a little with Fred. We're walking side by side now.
"H-hey Fred?" how can she make me stutter. I'm Queen C!
"Yes?" she asks in that sweet voice and adorable accent. She just too cute!
"Do...do you w-wanna go out sometime?" I ask. She looks at me for a minute before taking a deep breath.
"Like on a date?" she asks. Here goes nothing.
"Yes." I say. She smiles shyly.
"I'd love to." she says blushing. Score one for Cordelia chase! Oh yeah I got it.
Faith pov.
Man I'm so fuckin hype right now. I can't stop bouncin. No literally, its annoyin the hell outta Buffy but she's still laughin at me.
"You look like a little kid." she says chuckling. I stop bouncin for a moment.
"Can't help it. I need to do somethin!" I say excitedly. I think I'm startin to see why they don't like me havin too much sugar, caffeine, or both. I'm like a damn 3 year old.
"I'm sure we'll find something. I'll even let you take the first few." she says.
"Aw thanks B." I say. Then I get serious for a second. "I really am sorry Buffy." I say. She nods.
"I know. I'm going to try and forgive you but it won't be easy." she says. I nod. Ohh lookie a vamp. I run towards the bad die job on legs and tackle it.
"Bloody hell! Get offa me!" the platinum vamp yells. Nope.
"How come? Don't wanna play horsey?" I ask in a little kid voice and start hittin him. I hear Buffy laughin at the poor defenseless vamp under me and right before I stake him she stops me.
"Faith wait!" those words sound so familiar. All the hyper ness instantly drains. "He's a good vampire. He can't hurt anyone." she says.
"Seriously?" I ask for reassurance. She nods and I get up extending my hand. "In that case sorry for the misunderstanding." I say. He stands up and nods accepting my apology.
"I'm Spike." he says. Oh great William the bloody. This should make Angel happy.
"Faith." I say. He smiles in recognition.
"Ah the rogue. Good ta see ya on the side'a good." he says. I nod not really feelin like talkin or much'a anythin anymore.
"Look B, I'm gonna head back. Catch ya tomorrow." I say.
"Are you ok?" she asks. I nod and smile at them both before leaving. I can still remember that night. The night I started going down and nobody caught me. Not until it was all done. Then Angel caught me and I'm way grateful.
on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you
he saved me and I owe him everything I got now. I fall into a dream filled sleep thinkin about everythin bad that's happened in my life.
So here's a quick update. I don't own either song. The first one is A Rose is Still a Rose by Aretha Franklin. In my opinion that is the most real and beautiful song on this earth. The second one(just the chorus) is on the way down by Ryan Cabrera. Anyways review please.