Faith pov.
Been a little while since I got the news. A few days actually. I've felt...well I haven't felt nothin. Everythin seems surreal or whatever the word is ya know? Its...i don't really know. Right now I'm walkin down the stairs to the scooby meetin. Why the hell are we callin it that? The scoobs aint the only one's here so its just a meeting. Right?
"Ah Faith, its good to see you up." Wes says. Yeah I've been sorta bed bound lately. Haven't wanted to do much. Only person who's been around me constantly is B. she only leaves my room to shower or eat but then she's right back in there with me. Said she don't want me alone. Only thing her and Cordy could agree on. Cordelia's been in there too but not as much. S'all cool though. Real good ta know that B cares bout me and whatnot.
"Yeah, I wanted to let you guys know I'm leaving in the mornin." I say. Everythin gets quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Wes clears his throat.
"You're what?" he asks. I have a feelin an argument is comin but I think I'll enjoy it. Weird I know.
"Tomorrow mornin I'm leavin. Oh and before you say anythin I need to ask you guys a favor." I say.
"Anything." B says. Ya know I think I'm startin to fall more in love with her. If its possible. Even if I can't tell her how I feel.
"I know...i know what and where the key is but...i was wonderin if I could keep it to myself until I get back?" I ask. Everybody thinks it over.
"Of course you can't Faith. This is important and you should've told us the moment you found out." Riley says.
"I know I shoulda and aint no real reason I didn't. Just trust me on this ok...i think it'll be better if I'm the only one who knows until I get back." I say. He shakes his head.
"Its too important. We need to know." I sigh.
"No not really you don't. Think about it...if I'm and I'm the only one who knows don't you think she'll be wonderin if she should follow me or not. I'm sure she's listenin right now and all I'm sayin is there's a good chance she'll follow me since I'm the slayer." I say. I know its super risky but I'll take this risk.
"But Buffy's also the slayer which means there's a good chance she'll stay here." Red says. She looks confused at my logic.
"Exactly. She won't know which way ta go. Sure I know where and what the key is but what if she follows me and the key is here and you guys find out. She looses her chance with that cus you'll hide it. But what if she stays and I end up hidin the key. She wont be able to make any smart move til I come back." I say.
"But what about her minions?" Riley asks.
"What about em? You guys can take em out no problem just like I can. She send em after me and stays here I knock em off she's outta luck. She leaves em here and follows me and I don't got it she's still outta luck cus you'll be done took all em down here." I say.
"Faith's right. I mean all we know is it was sent to the slayer for protection and having two is making it hard enough to find but with them split up it'll be damn near impossible. Damn and I always thought you were as brainless as Xander." Red says. I smile when Xan exclaims he's not brainless he just doesn't like to strain it.
"Ok. You'll go and tell us when you get back home." B says. I nod.
"I still don't like this idea." Riley says. I sigh.
"Well what do you suggest and don't say tellin you what it is." I say. He thinks.
"Why do you have to leave anyway?" he asks.
"Cos I got a little brother to go and get and a triple funeral to attend." I say.
"Won't this plan endanger your brother?" he asks. Valid question.
"Hell no. hell god or not if she thinks of hurting Faith's brother I'll kill her by my lonesome." Gunn says.
"I'd gladly give my life to protect him so I don't think he's in any danger cos I'm not dyin no time soon." I say.
"Do you really have to stay for the funeral though? I mean you barely know these people." he asks. I nod.
"Yeah I do. Why does it matter so much anyway?" I ask.
"Because Faith, you're a slayer and you'll be away from the hell mouth with the biggest secret we can all imagine. How do we know that's what's really going on and you didn't set this up some kind of way. You've betrayed everyone before." Riley says.
"Where you not at the meetin before when Giles came clean about everything?" Cordelia asks.
"I've been talking with Giles. He said she forced him to say those things." he says. What the fuck. This really aint what I need right now. "I personally find it hard to believe someone would even consider giving her custody of a small child. Let alone her father. She said so herself they weren't close." he says and oddly it makes sense to me.
"Out." Angel growls out.
"Nah Fang don't kick him out. He makes a valid point. How do you all know I'm not playin ya? That I didn't just make all that shit up and make Giles tell ya? You don't really know do ya?" I ask.
"Faith are you making any of this up? Is any of this part of a sick plan you have to betray us all and take over the world?" B asks.
"Yeah." I say testin their reactions.
"That's how we know." everybody 'cept Riley says at the same time. Huh.
"Huh? I just said yeah. As in yeah it is." I say tryin to elaborate.
"Faith you're a terrible liar." Cordy says. "Then again I just know you well enough to know when you're lying." she says.
"But why don't we all go?" Riley says. Is it just me or does it seem like he don't trust me? You got that too? ok.
"Are you stupid?" cor asks. "Shut up Faith." she says before I even open my mouth. I shrug innocently. "This is the hell mouth. Left unguarded for an hour and the death toll will be so high it wont even be considered a city but a death trap." she says.
"Alright." Riley says defeated.
"I agree with Riley. Someone should be with you. Something could happen to you and we'd never be the wiser. A-and you'll be driving clear across country so yo-" I cut Wes off. It's good to know he cares.
"I'll be fine." I say. He shakes his head.
"You don't...you don't have to leave. You could have your brother sent here and...and then when this is all over you could go pay your respects when we could all accompany you. For support if you go now noone will be with you." he says. I smile.
"It'll be ok." I say.
"Take someone with you. Please?" he asks. I sigh.
"Who wants to tag along?" I ask. I notice everyone's hand is raised.
"I think I should go. Seeing as I'm your best friend and all. And I'm technically your big sister so its a given. I'll go get packed." Queen C says.
"Slow ya road there Cordy. While those two points are valid you're needed here." I say.
"No really I'm not. See?" she says. Nobody says anything. "Not needed." she says. I shake my head and smile. "You need your best friend." she says practically whining.
"Dawn is also my best friend. Can't I take her?" I ask joyce.
"If Dawn goes I go." B says.
"Calm down there slayer. I won't let nothin happen to the half pint." I say.
"Buffy you can't go anyway. Your the other slayer the hell mouth needs you. I'll go instead." Mrs. S says. I nod.
"So its settled. Joyce and Dawn will come with." I say.
"It bloody well is not settled!" Wes yells. Uh oh. He's goin into protective dad mode. "They won't be able to protect you if need be! No offense I'm sure they are more than capable of handling themselves but what if...what if a human is trying to hurt you while you're under attack by vampire?!" he asks. ok. I've made Wesley hysterical.
"Fine then...Spike. Wanna go on a road trip?" I ask. He looks shocked I asked him. Fang and Gunn look a little hurt I didn't ask them. "Hey now, don't worry you two are still my favorite guys." I say to them. Wes clears his throat. "You too Wes." I say. They all nod.
"Sure thing slay'r junior. I'll go get packed up and come back 'ere. But uh how we travlin luv, not enough bendryl in the world to get rid of the nasty sunlight allergy I 'ave?" he asks. I look at Angel and he sighs.
"You're using my car. Its the only one we'd all approve of for Faith and for you it has special windows." he says. Yeah there was an argument about how I would travel. I wanted to fly but Wes don't trust planes so I said bus and Gunn said take a bus and I'll buss you in the head. Then I said rental car and they all said they'd rent a baseball bat to beat me with. Then I said Fang's car and they all agreed.
"'Lright. See ya in a bit." Spike says. He leaves with Joyce and Dawn so they can get packed up. I look at everyone.
"Don't worry. We'll be fine." I say. B nods and leaves for the first time in what feels like years. Followed by Riley who still don't trust me, Will, Tara, Anya, and Xander. Just leaves me and my family. I like that word.
"I'm gonna go shower and head to bed. Night guys." I say. I hear them all mumble goodnight and Fred looks like she wants to bawl like a baby. Can't believe they'll miss me and I'll only be gone like two weeks.
Wes pov.
I'm not to keen on Faith traveling across the country. Its not that I don't trust Faith, quite the opposite. Despite everything from our past I'd trust her with my life. Its the world I don't trust. I know I'm not her father and she's a grown woman and a slayer at that but it doesn't stop how I feel. I want to protect her from the world. Same with the rest of the team. Faith used to make jokes calling me mr. Mom but I think it went a little deeper. I think she honestly sees me as a parental figure to them. One would assume that'd be Angel given his age but I feel like a father. They're my kids even though we're all roughly the same age. None of that matters. I remember when Faith graduated high school. I did something I swore I'd never do. I cried in public. Yes I actually cried there. I had this overwhelming pride and I couldn't hold it in. during that school year, while she mostly went to Cordelia or one of the others, she did visit me. Sometimes it was for help with school work other times not. I was honored that she wanted my help and actually asked for it when she did. If you know Faith you know she's extremely proud. But she let me inside her heart and trusted me. Most people don't feel this honored but I do. No one knows this fact but every once and a while Faith and I have heart to heart talks. Don't give me that look its the truth. It started in LA shortly after she started school. At first she was afraid to talk to me about things so she'd come into the room where I was stationed and just sit. We'd sit in a comfortable silence for hours. Me reading her just being there. Then there were nights after patrol she'd come to my apartment. After I bandaged her up we'd sit in my living room watching Cartoon network until she left. I knew not to push so I enjoyed our bonding time the way it was. Then slowly she'd start to tell me things from her past. She'd cry, I'd cry with her all the while lending my shoulder and it seems my heart as well. After a while she'd come to me for advice. There are times when she doesn't come to me and I still know to go to her. In my honest opinion, although I'm sure very few people would disagree with it, Faith is my daughter. But enough of this, I need to have a talk with her before she leaves in the morning.
"Faith?" I call from her doorway. She looks toward me and smiles.
"C'mon in Wes." she says. I go sit beside her on the bed.
"How are you?" I ask quietly.
"5x5" she says automatically. I've been meaning to ask her what the hell that means. I don't say anything so she looks at me. I hold her gaze and she sighs. "I'm 1x2 at most." she says. I nod. She slides over in her bed and I lay beside her. We stare at the ceiling in silence for a few moments before I speak up.
"Are you afraid?" I ask. I look to her and she nods.
"Terrified. I mean my dad and I were never close but we weren't exactly distant from each other either. Why would he give me of all people custody of a little kid?" she asks.
"Why wouldn't he?" I ask in return. She turns to her side facing me.
"I got bout a million reasons. How bout the fact I don't know shit bout raisin kids. What if he hates me? What if he gets hurt cus I didn't protect him? What the hell do five year olds eat?!" he asks. I can't help but smile. She sounds like my mother did when she was pregnant with my sister. Even though she already had one child already she was still terrified of doing something wrong.
"You sound like a mother." I say with a smile. She smiles then looks serious again.
"What if somebody uses my past to hurt him in someway?" she asks quietly. I don't have an answer for her except:
"Then I'll help you with this. If anybody tries to harm either of you I'll be there." I tell her.
"But Wes what if I do it wrong? I mean I could make a mistake and he'll hate me forever and I'm known for makin mistakes." she says. I hold up my arm so she can lay on my shoulder. She lays down without a question. I'm one of the two, well three now, people she trusts to hold her. Although I can only put one arm around her. I offer her whatever comfort I can.
"Don't worry." I whisper kissing her forehead slightly. I know she'll be great. I do the only thing I know that eases her mind most of the time. I sing to her.
Step out the door and it feels like rain
that's the sound thats the sound on you're window pane
take to the streets but you can't ignore
that's the sound that's the sound you're waitin for
if ever your world starts crashing down
whenever your world starts crashing down
whenever your world starts crashing down
that's where you'll find me
yeah...
god love your soul and your aching bones
take a breath take a step meet me down below
everyone's the same our fingers to our toes
we just can't get it right but we're on the road
if ever your world starts crashing down
whenever your world starts crashing down
whenever your world starts crashing down
that's where you'll find me
yeah...
lost til you're found
swim til you drown
know that we all fall down
love til you hate
strong til you break
know that we all fall down
if ever your world starts crashing down
whenever your world starts crashing down
if ever your world starts crashing down
thats where you'll find... find me
lost til you're found
swim til you drown
know that we all fall down
love til you hate
strong til you break
know that we all fall down
all fall down
we all fall down
all fall down
all fall down
all fall down
all fall down
lost til you're found
swim til you drown
know that we all fall down
love til you hate
strong til you break
know that we all fall down
by the time I'm done singing I notice she's fallen asleep. I kiss her forehead once more before extracting myself and leaving. I hope she knows the lyrics in that song apply to our relationship. I'll always be here. No matter what. And I'll catch her if she falls.
Faith pov.
So its been a few days since we got to Boston. Everything is surprisingly goin smooth. I met my brother. His name is Julian. He's fuckin adorable I tell ya! Cordy is gonna fall in love when she sees him. I promise you there isn't a cuter kid on the planet. I mean he's got dark hair, trait from dad, dark brown eyes and dimples ta break ya heart. Joyce and D hell even Spike are wrapped around his little crayon lovin finger. Right now me and him are in what I've come to learn was my dad's place. Its fuckin nice. He lost touch with my little sister a few years ago. Told him she didn't want nothin ta do with him ever again. I called her, she said she wasn't comin to the funeral. I'm not gonna say nothin bout it though. I'm sure she's got a good reason for bein pissed at him. All she said was sum up the next year and a half of child support and send it to her. After that she don't want nothin to do with nothin with the name Lehane attached to it. She even changed her last name. Thomas it is now I think. She don't want nothin ta do with me and ju ju bean s'cool with me. I don't wanna share him anyway.
"Faith!" I hear Julian call me. I walk down the hall to what I'm thinkin was dad's room.
"Sup ju ju bean?" I ask. I don't know where the hell ju ju bean came from but he likes it.
"Daddy said if him had ta go away and I got ta meet you to give you this." he says handin me a letter. Wow never thoughta my dad as the cliché type.
"Thanks. Wanna read it with me?" I ask. Kid is smart. He can read pretty good for a 5 year old. He's like on first grade level already I think. He nods and crawls into my lap when I sit on the bed. I take a deep breath and open it and start to read out loud:
dear princess,
I'm not even gonna use that line 'if you're readin thin I'm dead.' that's pretty obvious. But I know I may not be your favorite person but I got a few things I need ta get offa my chest. First of I wanna say I'm sorry. For everythin. Your super bad childhood, not introducin ya to Julian, whom I'm assumin you've just met, for how I acted the last time I saw ya. I didn't...i swear I didn't mean it. I'd never disown you I was out of it. I aint no excuse I know I was wrong and I'll always be sorry for that. I love you ya know. Never really showed it or said it much but I do. Always have always will. NO MATTER WHAT. But you're not...you're not really my kid. I know it sounds like I'm lyin cus ya look a hell of a lot like me. If you're readin this out loud stop now. You're not human kiddo. You're momma aint you're momma. I always knew all this. I never wanted to say nothin cus I mean that would mean I accepted you weren't my baby girl no more. And you are. You and your sister are my pride and joys. Don't get me wrong I love the boys, Damien and Julian too but you three girls are somethin special. You and Chasity, you're slayers. I'm not too sure what those are exactly but I know they're very important. Hero's of some sort. I'm proud. Kennedy is gonna be one too but you and Chas are gonna be the big dogs. Your real momma she was some kinda angel. Never got to thank her for sendin you two here. You remember when we found out your sister died and you thought I didn't care? I did. I do. I was fuckin furious. I mean I lost one of my little girls cos'a some fool wanna drink and drive! But I'd be lyin if I said I wasn't happy it was just her. I don't know what I woulda did if it were both of you. I killed that guy. I did. Felt he deserved it. He took a hero and part of my life so I took his. But I know nobody don't deserve ta die. Now you're sister Kennedy she's a wild one. She's got a tongue on her that'll beat ya cripple if ya aint careful. We just recently had a big fight so she probably wont be at the funeral. S'ok though. I'm surprised yet glad you came. I want you to pay the rest of her child support payments for me. Its crazy to think I own a company aint it? But I do. Use it in a good way. Wolfram and Hart aint nothin ta play with. I want you ta get rid of all the demons in it. Use some of your friends and get new lawyers and shit. Good ones. Make me even more proud slayer. Now my boys. Damien and Julian. Tell em I love them too. I was a shit father ta alla ya but I don't want nothin bad happenin. Aint enough paper in the world for me to say everythin I need to. So I'ma say this. I want you all happy. Fight for your happiness and get and hold on to it. You'll be a good mom for the kid cus ya got a good heart. Have you seen this movie...the Bucket list? No? You should. I fuckin love it. Anyway I gotta go. Don't know how long it'll be til you get this but me and grandma love you guys. Bye.
Dad."
by the time I'm done I'm cryin. Who woulda guessed my dad was the owner of Wolfram and Hart? Not me. But I knew he was a good guy. I haven't see the bucket list but I'll watch it tonight. If he liked it it musta been good. I look at Julian and sees he's asleep. I think dad is right. I'll be a good mom. I hear a noise and look up and see Damien.
"Day." I say. He smiles at me and looks at Julian
"Who's your friend?" he asks. Ya know as long as he's been outta Boston he still has a strong accent.
"He's our little brother. Julian. But I'm like gonna be his mom now." I say. He looks at Julian's sleepin form and smiles.
"You'll be great." he says. He gives me a small hug from the side but lets go quickly. He knows everythin about my childhood so he knows about my fears. But I think he needed that comfort more than me.
"Hey day?" he looks at me with a raise eyebrow. "We own a company now." I say. We look at each other then off into the distance. At the same time we mutter:
"hmmm."
today is the funeral. I thought I'd be all tears but I'm not. I watched the movie last night and it was kinda sad. I liked it though. A song stood out to me and I'm gonna sing it today. Julian is sittin with Damien and Chasity. I didn't know she was here until we got to the church. I forgot to tell her but she aint made. My name is called by the priest and I'm not nervous or nothin. I get up and offer the few family members a smile.
"I don't really have nothin to say about these three people here. Well that's a lie but if I said it all we'd be here til our grandkids were 90. but there's this song I wanna sing and I think you'll get the message. Before I start though I do wanna say that I loved these three people and I'm sure they're watchin us from wherever." I say. Everyone nods even if they don't agree. Most of the people came outta respect not cos they cared. Don't matter though, s'long as somebody came. The music starts and I start to sing shortly after:
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you only could . . .
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say x24
when the music fades out a few people are actually cryin. Guess they had some stuff they'll never get to say. I'm about to leave but I say one last thing.
"I may not have said much to them over the years and I'll always regret it. But right now I want to say mom, dad, and grandma, I love you guys. Goodbye."
so there's another long chapter. The first song is all fall down by onerepublic. I wrote the lyrics from memory so if they're wrong lemme know. Although I'm pretty sure they're right. The second song is Say by John mayer from the bucket list. I know it wasn't even out then but I felt like writing it in. yes I copied and pasted and I didn't feel like writing say what you need to say 24 times at the end. I'm lazy like that. Readers please be patient for I will start focusing on more fuffy soon! Review please.