A Faith Story Chapter 17: The begining?, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

Faith pov.

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

this bitch is tryina hurt me. Tryina get me to lose that will to live. But I won't lose it.

"You think she could ever love you?! You really are fucking crazy!" she laughs. Even if she don't love me, she wont let me die.

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

"If I kill you now, you'll just go back to hell with your family. But... I figure I might as well have a little fun." she says stabbin me with a dull knife. Is this what Wes felt? God I'm so sorry. Tears roll down my face

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

I wonder would I ever make it. To heaven. Is there really a heaven? Gotta be since there's obviously a hell. Right? I think so cus I'm livin in it.

"Tell me Faithy, do you think you're worthy of her love?" she asks.

"Y-yes." I croak out as she pours gasoline on one of my wounds before strikin a match to it.

"Wrong answer." she says. "Oh don't worry. I won't kill you. I need you to get home!" she says cheerily.

I wonder what it feels like to be good enough. Not just for B but for anybody.

"Why would anybody want you Faith, look at you! You're disgusting!" she spits out. She sounds like my mother. "You're mother was so right wasn't she? You can't be loved can you? You don't deserve it." she says. She's right. I don't.

"B-but it could happen.." my words trail off into a scream as she breaks my wrist again.

"No, it can't." she says.

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

"Does you're life have a point to it Faithy? Are you still the fuck up slayer?" she asks.

"Ye-yeah I am." I gasp out as she touches one of my wounds with dry ice.

"Yes what?" she asks.

"I-I'm still a fuck up." I whisper. She smiles, or I think she does. Can't really tell with my eye swollen shut. All the wounds, all the cuts, they're practically closed. She burns them to clot the blood. She just wants me to feel the pain. And that's ok cos I deserve it.

"That's right. What happens to fuck ups and bad girls?" she asks in that motherly tone.

"Th...they get...punished." I manage to choke out.

"That's right." she says before crackin a chain across my back. I hear shufflin around then I hear that sweet angelic voice.

"Faith?! Oh my god! Faith! Just...just hang in there ok? Just hang on until the paramedics get here." B says frantically. "I am going to end you." she growls out at glory. Or it could be me. Not sure. But I don't think I can hold on. I don't want to. I'm not needed here. But I will if I have a reason and so far I don't have one. B is up fightin I suppose but everything is getting darker for me. I don't know if I'm hot or cold. I feel like I'm slippin. Where to I don't know but I'm slippin. And...it peaceful.

I just need to hear those three words though. From somebody. Anybody. I want to feel them. But I don't think I ever will. And if I do...it'll be too late.

Hurry I'm fallin'

I think I see my father. I'm not... I don't know. But I'm feeling really hot. Like I just stepped inside an inferno. And its comfortable for some reason. This can't be right.

"Faith! Stay awake! The ambulance will be here soon! Please don't die!" B yells. She don't want me to die. But then I'll be with my family. "I need you." but then again, I guess I was worth savin.

Buffy pov.

She almost died. That bitch almost killed her. And I think she wanted to die. I don't know what she did to my Faith but I'm not going to let her leave me. Not without telling her how I feel. But I'd prefer to do it if she's conscious.

Ignorance is bliss
You'd always hear me say
But at times you can't deny
Those eyes looking your way

when I first met her I thought the dumbest thing. Pretend these feelings don't exist and they'll go bye bye. Didn't happen. Then I used Angel as an excuse when in reality the moment I laid eyes on her I was over him. I know it seems a little unrealistic but when I saw her I knew Angel wasn't my true love. Just my first.

Let me begin by saying what I mean
It's a crime against the heart you know
To be somewhere in between

but I pretended like I didn't feel anything other than friendship towards her. Well in the beginning I was a total bitch to her but ya know it was part of the whole denial thing. But when I mean you'd have to be absolutely blind to miss the way I blushed when she breathed around me. I had it bad. I denied it bad. It hurt me worse.

Well don't be shy
I've got an open heart and hand
And I just might have to confess just where I stand

then everything else that happened was just...another excuse to not be attracted. To not love her. I mean they were valid reasons yeah, but not in the beginning. Not when I pushed first and she pushed back. I knew Faith was a defensive person. And after Finch I just helped that defensiveness along until she... I keep forgetting it never happened.

Lately you make me weaker in the knees
And race through my veins baby every time you're close to me
Take me away to places I ain't seen
They say you've got a hold on me:
And I won't disagree

she has no idea what she does to me. What her voice or those sexy dimple do to me. Dawn thinks I got it bad. Yep. I got it real bad.

Rock-a-bye my baby
Don't be blue tonight
Oh I'm on my way
And I'm gonna make it right

But I'm perfectly fine with having it bad for her. And if she... I won't be able to move on. Not completely. Sure after a short while I'll find somebody else but I'll never love them because they aren't her.

Cause I've got the feeling
You'll be needing love
And of all the lonely hearts
You're the one I'm thinking of

she's always in my thoughts. And no not all of them are of the sexual nature but quite a few are. But there are thoughts of a future with her. Maybe I have a chance as long as she continues to do that beautiful thing she's doing right now. Breathing.

I've been told it's gonna take an iron hand
To break the mold and stand above all of the rest

she doesn't exactly wear her heart on her sleeve. And I don't want to change her but I want to break her defenses. I don't want her to be guarded around me.

Lately you make me weaker in the knees
And race through my veins baby every time you're close to me
Take me away to places I ain't seen
They say you've got a hold on me:
And I won't disagree

she means the world and more. And Julian has already stolen my heart. Its been about three days since he arrived and saw his sister taken. But he was so calm. He actually calmed us down. Its been a few hours since we got her back.

I'll be thinking of that evening
When there's nothing for me to do
And I'll be wondering if by some slim chance
You've been wondering too

I just hugged him. I was surprised when he let me. I figured he'd be guarded like his sister. But he let me and I was glad. Dawn just looked at me and whispered:

"Those two are going to have you wrapped around their fingers." she said. She's confident that Faith will be fine. I wish I shared that confidence. She looks bad. I'm looking at her now. I hate seeing her like this. Her eyes slowly open.

"B.." I barely hear it.

"I'm here." I say reaching for her hand.

"Is...i...s...sh..." I stop her. I know what she's askin.

"No. she isn't." I say. She looks at me.

"We...we'll get 'er." she says squeezing my hand.

"I know." I say. She smiles at me dimples and all.

Lately you make me weaker in the knees
And race through my veins baby every time you're close to me
Take me away to places I ain't seen
They say you've got a hold on me:
And I won't disagree

Dawn's words come back to me. And I have to say she is absolutely right.

Ok so this was a short chapter. The songs are Savin me by Nickelback and I Wont Disagree by Kate Voegele. She flippin rocks!! review please.