Hey again. I'm sorry this took a while, but I have a lot of homework, plus the stupid review in all the classes in which I have an SOL… Also, there was this anonymous flame that really made me think twice about posting the next chapter for this. I was really depressed for a few days because of what it said, but I'm back and will continue writing! I promise! The updates will be once a month for this story.
To all of the reviewers and readers, thank you so much for all your support (110+ reviews, 2900+ hits, 20+ story alerts, and 25+ faves). I really appreciate it.
My birthday's today (that was on Monday)! I'm 16! Shout-out to my friend Trish for giving me the really good brownies and the root beer that I'm now eating/drinking! WAHAHAHAHA—cough cough… Uh, yeah, um…just read the chapter, please…
yeeah! dares!
Ed/Roy- roy must force feed Ed warm milk via baby bottle while holding him like a baby.
Ed/Roy part 2- I dare roy to cut ed's hair as short as it was when he first crossed the gate!
Al- I dare you to sing the emo song. (if you don't know it then watch "how to be a ninja" on youtube)
Sloth- I dare you to treat Ed and Al like they were your little baby boys for at least 2 chapters.
kitties rock!!:3
Ellia-chan
Ed: HUH?!
Roy: -evil grin-
Ed: No way in hell am I agreeing to this! Nuh-uh! I'm not a (censored) baby!
Roy: -grabs him around the waist and places him on his lap-
Ed: HEY! LET ME GO YOU BASTARD (censored)! I WILL DRINK NO MILK AS LONG AS I LIVE!
Sky: -can't resist putting a baby bonnet on Ed's head-
Ed: GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!
Roy: -sticks bottle in his mouth-
Ed: -calms down immediately and begins drinking the milk-
All: O.O
Sky: -collapses on the ground- IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! EDWARD ELRIC IS ACTUALLY DRINKING MILK!
Ed: -glares-
Roy: -discreetly raises a pair of scissors and subtly cuts off Ed's hair-
Ed: -spits out bottle- Leave my hair alone, you (censored) bastard!
Roy: -isn't listening-
Ed: I can't believe I'm about to say this but…Sky, help me!
Sky: -says nothing and sticks the bottle back in his mouth, which calms him down-
Ed: -mumbles around it- I hate you all
Sky: -smiles innocently as she puts baby booties on his feet-
Ed: -spits out bottle again- Leave me alone! I'm not a (censored) ba—
Sky: -sticks a pacifier in his mouth and puts baby bonnet on his head-
Ed: -glares-
Al: …You want me to sing the emo song?
Sky: Sure
Al: … -starts singing-
Sloth: -walks up to Roy and looks down at Ed- You look so cute, Edward…would you mind if you stayed like this?
Ed: -spits out pacifier- Yes obviously
Sloth: I knew you would agree
Ed: What a minute, what? What the hell are you talking about?
Sloth: -sticks pacifier back in his mouth-
Chuckles evilly It's a dream come true... to torture all the FMA characters!
Ed: Hm, you must... GIVE ME YOUR ARM TO SELL ON EBAY! AND I LOVE YOU! Glomps Ed
Winry: I hate you. The only thing you're good for is fixing automail. So die.
Al: OMFG! I LOVE YOU TOO! Glomps Al I dare you to rob every pet store of its cats!
Roy: You're ok as a dad to Ed, but not as a lover (I don't like yaoi, no offense). I dare you to give me your gloves to sell on Ebay. AND YOU CAN'T SAY NO! Then treat Ed like your son until I say otherwise!
Envy: I FIN' HATE YOU! YOU KILLED ED! DIE!
Wrath: You're so cute! I wish you were my brother! Go loot a candy store!
Izumi: Damnit, TEACH ME ALCHEMY! AND I WON'T ACCEPT NO FOR AN ANSWER!
I WILL RETURN! MWAHAHAHAHA!
ShadowUchiha13
Ed: NEVER! I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY ARM THAT HELPS ME IN MY ALCHEMY JUST SO YOU CAN SELL IT! And uh…what is this Ebay anyway?
Sky: It's a place where people sell stuff
Ed: Oh so it's a store?
Silver candle: Nope
Ed: But you just said—
Sky: That's not what I meant
Ed: …?
Silver candle: I knew you wouldn't understand… -mutters- Some child prodigy you are…
Ed: I heard that!
Sky: Good shrimp boat
Ed: WHO THE (censored) HELL ARE YOU CALLIN' SO (censored)—
Sky: -sticks the pacifier in his mouth-
Winry: Now why does everyone say that? I had someone say that they loved me so why do so many people hate me so much?
Sky: Because you're a whiny spoiled brat idiotic bitch who needs to die duh
Winry: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Sky: The only thing you're useful for is for fixing Ed's automail and that's it. –hits her with wrench-
Al: Um…love you too I guess… As much as I would love to why would I rob a store?
Sky: I would love to see this happen
Al: But who said I would do it?
Sky: Me. I told you. And the reviewer.
Al: Uh okay then. –sneaks into pet store and steals the kitties- Yay kitties!
Roy: Aw but I love Ed… Wait a minute. We have been over this many times. I will give no one my gloves no matter what they do. And that's final.
Sky: Are you sure about that?
Roy: Yeah of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?
Sky: -evil grin-
Roy: -backs away- I don't like that look on your face. What are you planning?
Sky: -is holding a huge bucket of water- Do it or I shall dump this on your ego-inflated head
Roy: You wouldn't
Sky: Yes I would
Roy: -glares- And what if I don't?
Sky: I shall…force-feed you spoiled milk
Roy: -twitches- Not that again
Sky: -ignores him- And if that doesn't work…I shall make Ed do his squishy act again
Ed: SQUISHY! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Roy: -shudders-
Sky: -evil grin- Well?
Roy: Fine. –glares but gives gloves to Shadow- What is Ebay anyway?
Envy: Oh really, human? Well do I look like I (censored) care? I hate you too you stupid idiotic (censored) contrite human!!
Sky: Do you even know what contrite means?
Envy: …No I don't but—okay you know what?! Shut the hell up!
Wrath: Yay I would love to be your brother! CANDY! LOOT ZE CANDY STORE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! –destroys candy store-
Izumi: NO DAMMIT! I WILL NOT TEACH ALCHEMY TO SOMEONE WITHOUT TESTING THEM FIRST! …Tell me what 'all is one, one is all' means and I'll consider it
Yay! More dares! XD :
Ed- glomp Ok, I dare you to steal Roy's gloves and set people you don't like on fire! Including Winry!
Roy- I hope the paperwork wasn't too hard for you! Now I dare you to cook a meal for Ed. Preferably void of dairy products.
Riza- I dare you to shoot Winry.
Envy- Go to hawaii and hang out with your fellow palm trees.
Al- buy yourself a hat with kitty ears!! Even if you can't wear it.
Hughes- Edit all the photos you have of Roy by scribbling moustaches on his face and other stuff.
XD thanks!
Ria Hikari
Ed: -steals gloves back from previous reviewer- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE IS MINE! –runs around blowing people up-
Winry: Ed what the hell—
Ed: -blows her up- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU (censored) BITCH!
Al: -backs away slowly-
Roy: -darkly- Oh you have no idea…damn (censored) paperwork
Riza: -glares-
Roy: Eeep! –hides behind desk- And uh do I really have to cook something for Ed? Without dairy in it?
Sky: That's correct!
Roy: -pouts- Aw but that won't be fun…oh well
Riza: Don't poison Edward
Roy: -glares- Thank you lieutenant. Don't jinx me
Riza: -rolls eyes-
Roy: Hmm…now what can I make Ed that doesn't have anything dairy in it?
Sky: Salad? Soup? Bread? Milk?
Roy: Those might be goo—hey wait a second are you trying to get me killed here?
Sky: -innocent smile- Noooooo whatever gave you that idea?
Roy: I have my reasons… -mutters- Note to self: never be near Sky ever again. She's crazy
Sky: I heard that!
Roy: Good!
Sky: -raises wrench threateningly-
Roy: -backs away with hands held up- Alright alright I'll do my dare…sheesh. Women...
Sky: -throws wrench at him-
Roy: Gah! Okay, okay! –hurriedly makes dinner-
Sky: -thoughtfully- …Some candles, romantic music, and that would make everything perfect!
Roy: Huh? What are you plotting?
Sky: Oh nothing of your concern. –innocent smile-
Roy: -rolls eyes- I'm sure
Sky: -discreetly sneaks off after everything is ready-
Ed: Okay I was told to meet you here Colo—w-what the hell is this?!
Roy: Uh…...….dinner?
Ed: -glares- And what is that supposed to mean?
Roy: -starts to sweat- Uh um…………...………nothing
Ed: -transmutes his automail into blade-
Roy: Alright it's a dare! Happy?!
Ed: -blinks and then blushes- Uh I guess…
Roy: Sit, sit. –pulls out chair for him-
Ed: -pauses- Wait a second you're not trying to poison me are you?
Roy: Of course not! But if anything tastes or smells funny let me know. Sky might have done something
Ed: Oh great. She was here?
Roy: I think she's plotting something
Ed: She's always plotting something
Roy: That's true…
Sky: -is hidden in tree outside Roy's house and is squealing as she tapes this-
Al: Now while this whole thing is going on and Sky is distracted I'll play the host. Riza-san I believe you have the next dare
Riza: -nods and aims gun at Winry- -shoots her and puts gun away-
Al: Uh okay…now that's done…um…next?
Envy: I'M NOT A (censored) PALMTREE YOU (censored)(censored) HUMAN! HOW MANY (censored) TIMES DO I HAVE TO (censored) SAY IT?! I'M (censored) SEXY AND YOU (censored) KNOW IT!
Al: Um yes of course Envy-san
Envy: Don't call me –san!
Lust: Why? Would you rather have him call you Envy-chan?
Envy: DON'T (censored) CALL ME (censored) CHAN!
Greed: My, my. What a temper
Envy: SHUT THE (censored) HELL UP YOU (censored) FAGGOT!
Greed: Look who's talking
Envy: -stabs him-
Al: … -puts on kitty hat-
Sky: -is temporarily distracted and takes many pictures before going back to watching Ed and Roy-
Hughes: Oh I've already done that just last night! What perfect timing! It's Roy—with a beard! WAHAHA! –flashes pictures to reviewers-
Here goes my first try!
Ed: Go around beating up whoever you want (preferably Roy)
Roy: Go ask Riza out and kiss her. (Sorry, Royai fan) I also liked your favorite pairing. (which was Royai somewhere in there)
Riza: We all know you like Roy. Face it. And you're my favorite character! glomps
Envy: I feel sorry for you, always being stuck into, um, interesting pairings. You're still one of my favorites. glomps him as well Thanks for making me laugh!
Winrey: I know you like Ed, and he likes you. And you aren't that bad of a character; you're actually pretty funny.
Silver Candle: You rock! Funnies fic I've read in awhile! :D
Nightfall Dragon
Ed: -sneaks after Roy and beats him up- -laughs evilly- -sneaks up on Envy-
Envy: I know you're there pipsqueak
Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HEAR HIS FOOTSTEPS?!
Envy: Uh you obviously
Ed: -fumes-
Envy: -smirks-
Roy: -walks towards Riza- Oh Riza my love will you grace your presence with my unworthiness?
Riza: -is confused- Colonel? What are you--?
Roy: Ssh, don't talk sweetheart.
Riza: ?
Roy: -kisses her-
Hughes: -pops out of nowhere and takes many many many pictures-
Roy: -ignores him- Will you go out with me Riza?
Riza: -ignores Hughes also- Well sir I do have one thing to say… -her hand caresses his cheek briefly before she pulls her arm back and slaps him across the face- Don't ever kiss me again! –hides face as she walks off-
Roy: -grins stupidly- She's a feisty one, playing hard to get…like someone else I know
Hughes: What did I tell ya, Roy?! You already have the answer to your non-wife situation!
Roy: -glares at him- Oh shut up
Hughes: -ignores him and gushes about his wedding- Gracia was sooo beautiful! She had a wonderful violet--
Roy: -snaps his fingers and sets his pants on fire-
Hughes: -runs away screaming-
Riza: Uh thank you. –blushes-
Envy: Thank you! Finally someone understands how I feel when people decide who I like and who I hate! I swear that changes every week…
Winry: Aha! There's proof that I have some supporters out there! Thank you! –smiles smugly at silver candle and sticks tongue out-
Sky: -spazzes at the thought of all the possible Winry fans- -shudders-
Winry: -rolls eyes-
Sky: Thank you!
Nya! Hey ppl, gues what... Im back -evil grin-
Edo-kun: You love weapons too! Oh this is so awesome! -hugs him- and you are in military uniform! -squeal and hugs Ed- But you and Colonel are really good pair...
Roy: Aw, comon... I promise that you will dont pay for damage what I will make... -smile-
Envy: Ok, so tell me why in our dub version on FMA they talk about you like about FEMALE? -insane laugh-
Winry: you are useless and hopeless (dont make fun of my name, k? or I will kill you) -kills Winry anyway with her new katana-
Al: do you like incest fanfictions??
Hohenheim: HUG AL AND ED! -point on him- you know you wan to XD
Hoples
Ed: Oh for the love of—will people stop pairing me up with the damn bastard colonel?! We're over! I wish you would just accept that!
Al: Ah um…I-I'm sorry, brother but I think that you should get back together with Roy-san…you're messed up over this separation…and now he had invited you to his dinner last night and—
Ed: How many (censored) times do I have to say that WE ARE OVER?! We don't click or whatever you call it! We don't love each other!
Al: Then why do you still have that picture of your first date together under your pillow?
Ed: -blushes and looks away- …
Roy: Okay you know that I will never trust that smile…especially since that Sky does that all the time…and how do I know that there isn't some loophole or something?
Sky: -smiles- Oh just give her the gloves, colonel. She already said that she wouldn't make you pay for damages!
Roy: -looks apprehensive- Oh all right fine. I don't want the higher-ups to blame me and make me pay, okay? Just return them in one piece all right?
Envy: I have no idea why but I guess my voice would sound sexier if it was female…
Greed: Actually it sounds kind of pathetic
Envy: Who asked you asshole?
Greed: No one gender-confused palmtree. I answer my own questions
Envy: -stabs him again-
Winry: WAAAAAAAAAH why do you people hate me?! There's only one person in this chapter who said they didn't hate my guts and you're not one of them! Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?!
Sky: As previously stated, you are stupid and hopeless. And a bitch. And a whore. And a slut. And a spoiled brat who can't mind her own business.
Winry: -sniffles-
Sky: Oh stop it. You're making me sick just at the sight of you
Winry: -collapses-
Sky: -swears violently under breath-
Al: Um they're okay I guess…not when they're graphic or anything…I mean I don't see me and brother doing that…but…yeah…I think I do…
Hohenheim: …Hug my sons? Will my eldest even let me touch him?
Ed: Huh? What was that?
Hohenheim: Oh nothing, nothing. –hugs both-
Ed: Ew! Dad cooties! Get away from me! Help meeeeeeeeeee!
Al: Calm down brother
Sky: -mutters- Baby
Al: -whispers- For once I agree with you, Sky-san
Ed: Hey!
I have a couple of dares
Envy: Make out with a palm tree
Roy: Kiss Hughes
Havoc: Try and cliff dive
Winry: Die.
The Gator
Envy: All right how many people in this one (censored) chapter will call me a (censored) palmtree?!
Greed: Uh because you are duh
Envy: WHO ASKED YOU, YOU (censored)(censored) bastard with a (censored)(censored)(censored)?!
Sky: Such language…
Envy: Oh shut the (censored) up you (censored) bitch!!
Sky: -sniffs- Waaaaaaaaaaaah Envy you're so mean!
Wrath: Aw Envy how could you? –hugs Sky-
Envy: -growls under his breath-
Sloth: And to make up for it—
Lust: -evil smile- You have to make out with a…
Ed: PALM TREE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Envy: -glares at all five before hesitantly approaching a palm tree and kissing it-
Sky: -snickers-
Roy: I have to do WHAT NOW?!
Al: You have to kiss Hughes-san?!
Ed: What?! Ha! I can't wait to see this!
Hughes: -dances up holding (what else?) pictures of his daughter- Oh Roy you have to see this, Elicia-chan is--
Roy: -cuts him off by kissing him-
Havoc: Cliff dive, huh? -walks to cliff and stares down- Looks like fun... -steps back and then runs forward like a maniac- WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, BITCHES!!
Winry: -spontaneously combusts-
Sky: -grins-
Scar
I dare you to handcuff Ed to Roy and they must stay together for a whole chapter. By the way, you have to hide the key too Scar. After you do that, I dare you to be nice to everyone for a whole chapter and not mention Ishbal or your religion and if you do, you have to blow up a stuffed cat and for everytime you get mad, you must blow up a stuffed cat too. hands Scar a bag of stuffed cats I know you get picked on alot Scar but I'm a fan of yours.
Havoc
I dare you to make Roy sulk into a corner. I dare you to ask out the next reviewer on a date. I dare you to dress up into a tutu and wear it for the whole chapter.
Ed & Al
I dare you to hide Havoc's smokes and make him have alot of sugar. I dare the two of you to dress up Black hayate in some clothes and then show Fuery and Riza of what you did.
Fuery
You're too darn innocent. Still, I got a dare or two for you. I dare you to prank Breda. kisses Fuery on the cheek and messes up his hair a bit I dare you to chew out Roy, Havoc, Falman & Breda.
Lust
I dare you to wear a pink dress and dye your hair a light brown. I dare you to call Envy names like Pineapple and palm tree whenever you see him for a whole chapter. I dare you to ask out Havoc and make him believe you're into him only to dump him when the date actually happens.
Scar, Envy, Greed, Kimblee, Breda
I dare you to watch teletubbies and Barney while in straight jackets for five hours.
Sonar
Ed: For the last (censored) time, I am not going to be near that damn (censored) bastard (censored)(censored) colonel!
Al: Brother! Be nice
Ed: -whines- I don't wanna!
Al: Well you have to whether you like it or not
Ed: -pouts- Fine.
Scar: -silently handcuffs the two-
Ed: So I'm going to be stuck with you the whole chapter. Oh joy
Roy: I'm not looking forward to it either, shrimp boat, but deal with it
Ed: No--WAIT A SECOND DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT?!
Roy: It took you that long to realize?
Ed: SHUT UP COLONEL (censored)!
Roy: Such language...
Ed: -slaps him with automail arm-
Scar: This is quite entertaining
Sky: Scar! Be nice! -holds up stuffed cat-
Scar: -rolls eyes and blows up the stuffed cat-
Sky: -points at Ed and Roy- Say something!
Scar: Something.
Sky: Not that you ass! You know what I mean!
Scar: -flexes right hand-
Sky: -hides behind Wrath- Uh please?
Scar: Fine. -turns to face Ed and Roy- You're...entertaining
Ed: And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Scar: Nothing, FullMetal chibi
Ed: Nothing, my--STOP CALLING ME (censored) CHIBI!
Scar: Why? It's because of your size
Ed: Gah! I'm going to kill you all! -tries to leap at Scar but only falls on his face-
Roy: Revenge is yours, right?
Ed: Oh shut the hell up, bastard
Roy: -smirks-
Havoc: Is it even possible to make the colonel sulk in a corner? I can try I guess... -walks over to Roy- Hey colonel guess what? You are no longer the hottest date in all of Central!
Roy: Huh?
Havoc: It's me and...Black Hayate
Roy: I was dethroned by a dog?! What does he have that I don't?! Except the ability to speak!
Havoc: -shrugs-
Roy: -scowls and goes to sulk in corner-
Ed: NO YOU'RE DRAGGING ME TO THE EMO CORNER! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Havoc: -is now dressed in tutu- -dances around as he starts to sing- Oh will the next reviewer go out with me please...?
Sky: -stares- -shudders- I don't think so...
Havoc: Don't be so mean! -goes to sulk in another emo corner-
Sky: -rolls eyes-
Ed & Al: -glance at each other and nods- -sneak up behind Havoc and steal his smokes while he isn't looking-
Ed: I can't believe we were able to do that! I thought Havoc was supersensitive to his cancer sticks or something
Al: Yeah, I'm surprised too
Ed: -sees a murderous looking Havoc behind Al- Uh Al? You might want to run...
Al: Eh? Why?
Ed: -points behind him-
Al: -turns to look-
Ed & Al: -run off screaming for their mother-
Havoc: GIVE ME BACK MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN YOU KIDNAPPERS! -chases after them-
Sky: -blinks- Well there's something you don't see everyday
Fuery: -thinking- Well I wonder what I should do to prank Breda? Hm... Aha! I know! -has a plastic hotdog and places it on Breda's desk- -hides behind filing cabinet-
Breda: -enters- Ooooh FOOD! WAHAHAHAHAHA! MINE! -leaps on plastic hotdog and tries to take a bite but it is pulled away- Huh? -follows it as it pulled farther away- -leaps on it again and misses- GODDAMMIT WHO THE (censored) HELL IS MESSING WITH MY (censored) FOOD?! NO ONE MESSES WITH HEYMANS BREDA'S FOOD AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! -snatches the hotdog and tries to take a bite but it squeaks- WHAT THE HELL?!
Fuery: -starts to shake, too scared to come out-
Lust: Hm...I believe I have already done that but okay... -dresses in pink and dyes her hair- Actually I think I might keep this look... -goes to Havoc and asks him out- -dumps him five minutes later saying that she prefers to date the famous Colonel Roy Mustang-
Roy: -hears this and walks over to her- -offers her his hand-
Lust: -smirks at both and slaps Roy's hand- -dumps him also without him asking her out- Sorry. I just prefer cuter men than you two. -walks away-
Roy & Havoc: -stare at her and then go to sulk in their seperate emo corners-
Scar, Envy, Kimblee & Breda: -is tied up and faces the tv-
Envy: What the hell is this (censored) supposed to be?
Kimblee: I have no idea...but...ooh pretty colors...
Scar, Envy & Breda: -stare at him-
Envy: ...NOOOOOOOOO THE PRETTY COLORS! AGH THEY BURN! TURN IT OFF!
Breda: I'm hungry
Scar: I'm bored. And I really want to destroy all of you right now...wait...no...I shouldn't...I'll get in trouble
Breda: Since when did you care about that?
Scar: Since this. -points at tv and watches-
Breda: Am I the only--wait a second OATMEAL! I WANT OATMEAL! GIMME!
Sky: -stares- Wow I didn't think that they would just crack like that... -collapses-
All: -stares & blinks-
Finally, another chapter and more dares to go around.
Envy: Since you look like a palm tree, turn into one with coconuts. And start singing "I got a lovely bunch of coconuts" from Monty Python.
Ed: What to do with you? I know, go on a glomp spree since you seem to enjoy it.
Roy: I know you changed your name to Useless, now add Lazy And to it. Announce it to everyone.
Breda:-hands over her small dog to him-This is Tobi, now play with him. Seriously, you need to get over your fear.
Jrockonhigh
Envy: Uh...no
Sky: Aw why not?
Envy: I am not going to lose my dignity that way
Sky: Haven't you already?
Envy: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Sky: -innocent smile- Nothing
Envy: -glares and mumbles something unintelligible-
Wrath: You know it would suit you Envy
Envy: WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON BRAT?!
Wrath: -grins- Sky's side obviously. She gives me chocolate
Sky: Of course. -turns to whisper to Ed- Remind to never ever give Wrath any kind of sugar again
Ed: -looks scared- Right
Sky: And you too
Ed: O--hey, I've never had sugar!
Sky: Oh that's right...I knew that... Hm. I wonder what would happen if I did give you some...
Ed: -sweatdrops-
Lust: You know the faster you do your dare Envy the faster you'll get it over with
Envy: -glares but transforms into a palmtree- -starts to sing- I have a lovely bunch of coconuts...
Sky: -whips out camera and records-
Envy: SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF BEFORE I KILL YOU!
Sky: A talking palmtree that's threatening to kill me! What a cool story! Perhaps I should give it to the daily news...?
Ed: -smirks-
Envy: You better not
Sky: -sticks tongue out- Make me
Envy: -transforms back and leaps at her-
Sky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOME FREAKY GENDER-CONFUSED PALMTREE GUY-GIRL-PERSON IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
Envy: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
Dante: -holds him back from harming Sky- Behave yourself
Envy: Yes, mother
Dante: -slaps him-
Ed: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A GLOMP SPREE! WH00T! -runs towards Sky and glomps her-
Sky: Wah! -falls- Uh...I love you too Ed... -random fangirl moment- YOU'RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER! -squeals-
Ed: -backs away and glomps his brother- Squishy Al!
Al: -twitches-
Ed: SQUISHY! -runs after Roy and tackles him to the ground-
Sky: -is taping this-
Ed: LONG LIVE THE SQUISHY! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--cough cough. -blinks- What was I just doing?
Sky: Something about squishy?
Ed: AHA! SQUISHY! -glomps Envy-
Al: Why did you have to remind him, Sky-san?
Sky: Because it's funny
Al: Uh...yeah…maybe to you…
Roy: Excuse me everyone. -is tackled by Ed- Let go of me! Enough with you and your damn squishy!
Ed: -starts to cry- You don't like me anymore! -runs off-
Al: Brother come back! -goes after him-
Roy: -blinks-
Sky: -rolls eyes- Just go ahead
Roy: Uh yeah okay um... Everyone, my name from now on--I can't believe I'm saying this but--is...Colonel Useless And Lazy
Riza: Finally your name suits you sir
Roy: -glares- Not funny
Riza: It is from my point of view
Breda: -backs away from Tobi- Nice dog. You're a pretty doggy... -cries out and runs away- I CAN'T DO IT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP ME!
All: -rolls eyes-
Roy: O, that didn't go according to plan, did it? I apologize. deep bow gives him an apology cookie
Ed: DRINK MILK FOR BEING SO MEAN TO ROY LAST CHAPTER!! BWAHAHAHA!
Envy: Take Lust back. Please! She's sexy, but dangerous. I like my internal organs in their current places, thank you.
Winry: Have some cake. But don't think I'll always be nice to you... D
Voltra the Lively
Roy: What didn't go according to plan? The way you tried to get Gluttony to eat me?
Lust: From what I know, you deserved to be eaten
Roy: -glares- What is it with you people and always insulting me?
Sky: It's fun
Lust: -nods-
Sky: However, you do get an apology cookie… -gives it to him- -whispers to the reviewer- Make him do something really stupid next chapter, okay?
Roy: What was that?
Sky: Oh nothing, nothing. –innocent smile-
Ed: But I don't wanna drink milk!
Al: Well you have to brother, it's a dare
Ed: No!
Sky: You know, if you refuse to do your dare there might be something worse waiting for you the next chapter…
Ed: Eh? Like what?
Sky: I don't know. It's up to the reviewer
Ed: -glances at Voltra- Please don't make me
Sky: Then drink your damn milk!
Ed: NO!
Izumi: -comes up behind him and restrains him- Give him the milk now!
Ed: Teacher why are you betraying me?!
Izumi: I'm not I'm just making sure you get your vitamins so you can grow taller and not act like an idiot!
Ed: But—but—I'm sixteen years old!
Izumi: Well you sure don't act like it. This is why some people say that you have the mind of a five year old
Ed: I'm not five years old!
Izumi: Then act your age and drink your goddamn milk!
Ed: -grimaces and glares at the milk- -turns head away-
Al: -forces the gallon of milk down Ed's throat- There's a lot more than that brother so I would be careful if I were you
Ed: -glares- Why has everyone betrayed me?
Izumi: Because everyone agrees that you should drink more milk
Ed: -fumes-
Envy: You know, if I take her back after I gave her away she'll stab me
Greed: She does that to everyone
Sloth: It's not as if you haven't been injured by her before
Wrath: Yeah! Like the time when you—
Envy: -slaps him- All right already! I'll get her!
Wrath: Waaaaaaaaaaah!
Envy: Oh shut the hell up
Lust: -runs towards him with her nails extended- I will stab you over and over until you die, you bastard!
Envy: …On second thought I think I'll pass… -runs away-
Lust: -runs after him-
Winry: Cake? Yay! Thank you! …Wait a second it's not poisoned is it?
Sky: That's what I was wondering…
Winry: -looks at her suspiciously before sniffing it-
Sky: -shoves the cake in her mouth-
Winry: -starts to choke-
Sky: -shrugs and walks away-
Bwahahaha!! I have returned. And Roy, sorry for ruining your wonderful relationship with Edward.
Roy: Can I pwetty pwease borrow your gloves? I wont make you pay for damage either. puppy dog eyes of doom
Winry: I'll be nice to you if you teach me how to work with automail.
Wrath: Dont listen to Envy. You rock. gives lots and lots and lots of candy
Hughes: I was wondering...I'm pretty good with kids..So uhh...Could I babysit Elysia sometime? I'll even take pictures.
Edward: If you could go into a closest with anyone for 2 hours and do whatever you wanted with them, who would it be and why?
Envy: Turn into anything Silver Candle tells you to with no complaints. Yes I'm evil. Get over it.
The Random Cookie
Roy: How many times are people going to ask me about borrowing my gloves? That's the second person this chapter
Ed: Well then maybe you should
Roy: Why?
Ed: Because if you let the other person borrow them then you should give them to another. It's only fair—equivalent exchange
Roy: Not really
Ed: What you get in return is paying for damage
Roy: But that's not fair!
Ed: It is actually. It will teach you a lesson on lending your gloves to anyone ever again
Roy: But—I—you—what—oh I give up… -collapses-
Winry: So you'll be nice to me if I teach you automail huh? Does that mean that you don't like me?
Sky: You know Winry I think that's the smartest thing that you've ever said
Winry: -glares- I'm not stupid
Sky: That's what you think
Winry: Oh shut up. Anyway about automail it is used to—
Sky: -yawns-
Winry: -throws wrench at her- No one said you had to listen!
Sky: -dodges it- I know but your voice would put anyone to sleep
Winry: -starts to cry-
Sky: Wimp
Wrath: Yeah I know! I'm way better than Envy! –starts jumping up and down in the pile of candy- Thanks for the candy!
Hughes: Oh so you would like to babysit Elicia-chan would you? Hm… I guess so! Why don't you come over and meet her! She's just the sweetest little girl—
Sky: Do not finish your sentence.
Hughes: -doesn't hear her- Oooh and you'll take pictures! How wonderful! Then you'll be able to update me on my little angel and what she's been up to and—
Sky: -hits him with wrench and knocks him out-
Ed: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………………………………why are you asking me this?
Sky: Hm…I can see you in a closet with…Roy…
Ed: Hell no!
Sky: -ignores him- Envy…ooh maybe even Havoc! And Wrath…Riza…Sheska…Al…Lust…Scar…Kimblee…Greed… Oh! And—
Ed: -covers her mouth with automail hand- I don't even know what name you were just going to say but would you please shut up? –takes a deep breath- Now. I was going to pick Riza because she's the least perverted person here…and I was going to chose Al but I know what you're going to say to that… -shudders- All right, Riza-san you're supposed to go into a closet with me
Riza: And do what exactly?
Ed: Nothing. Play cards or something
Riza: Ah.
Sky: ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS PLAY CARDS?! GIVE ME A BREAK EDWARD ELRIC! WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE IT FURTHER—
Ed: -covers her mouth again- I told you to not comment. Please. I don't need dirty images in my head
Sky: -singsong- Oh but there will be!
Ed: -glares and stomps towards closet to hide-
Riza: -follows silently with her hand on her gun-
Envy: I don't want to listen to you. No way no how.
Sky: Aw come on Envy-saaaaaaaaaaan! Please?
Envy: (censored) NO!
Sky: -pouts- Pwetty pwease with a cherry on top?
Envy: -growls- Oh fine
Sky: -squeals and jumps up and down- -claps hands- Okay! I want you to turn into…EDWARD CULLEN!
Envy: Uh…who?
Sky: -blinks- You don't know who he is? He's the best character in Twilight!
Envy: What the hell is twilight?
Sky: I don't believe you! –pouts again-
Envy: I don't know who the hell he is!
Edward: -appears- Where am I? Where's Bella?
Sky: -squeals- OMG IT'S EDWARD CULLEN! –glomps him-
Edward: -blinks- Uh…who are you?
Sky: I'm Sky! I'm a huge fan! Oh and you're in the Full Metal Alchemist archive
Edward: The what? –notices Envy staring at him- What?
Envy: You're as pretty as the chibi…
Edward: Excuse me?
Sky: -squeals loudly- Envy did you just call Ed pretty?!
Envy: Huh? Oh uh…maybe
Sky: -singing- Envy has a crush on Edo! Envy has a crush on Edo!
Envy: Shut up!
Ed: Envy! Why would you-- -stares at Edward-
Edward: Why is everyone staring at me?
Sky: Because you're Edward Cullen!
Edward: And what does that have to do with anything?
Sky: -shrugs- I dunno. Anyway—Envy turn into him!
Envy: What?! You want me to turn into some pretty boy who just randomly appears in this?! Why?!
Sky: Because I told you to!
Edward: -blinks-
Ed: -rolls eyes- Don't ask about her sanity...she's always like that, plotting and being crazy...
Edward: Really?
Ed: -nods- She lost her mind a long time ago...
Edward: -chuckles- Now that I think about it she sort of reminds me of Alice…
Sky: Oh yeah! Alice! I forgot! You should get back before your family starts to wonder where you are!
Edward: -disappears-
Sky: Envy did you transform into Edward yet?!
Envy: Yeah yeah I did
Sky: You look almost like the real thing! Yay! –glomps Envy/Edward-
Heheh...I feel honored to be a part of a story..
Ed: Read a Roy/Riza fic and DON'T turn green with envy...or sickness.
Al: Try to input a cat's brain into a homunculi...without puking. Pick one. That, and the cat's brain is given to you, so you don't have to go get one yourself
Roy: Light the military central on fire...and blame it on Riza.
Riza: Shoot Roy down for blaming you, but do take the blame.
Greed: Try to blend into the wall with your metalic transformation.
Winry: Break down Ed's arm...and then throw yourself off a building.
That's it for now, trying to request unusual scenarios for the author
(ZNO)
Ed: Now why would I be jealous of that bastard colonel and Riza? I actually think that they make a good couple…better than me and him anyway…
Sky: Aw Edo don't say that! I agree with you that Roy and Riza are a good couple but you and Roy are soul mates!
Ed: I don't think so. He cheats on me
Sky: Oh really? How?
Ed: He looks at other women the same way he used to look at me
Sky: Then you need to get tough with him! Punch him however many times you want and then apologize!
Ed: Not until he apologizes first!
Sky: Why the hell are you so stubborn?!
Ed: Because I am!
Sky: That doesn't make any sense! No go and make up to Roy! Go make out with him! GO GO GO!
Ed: -is shoved towards Roy-
Al: -blinks- Put a cat's brain in a homunculus? Wouldn't that be kind of creepy?
Sky: Maybe but do you want to do it?
Al: -blinks again- Uh…all right I'll do it. –rolls up sleeves and starts the procedure-
Sky: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
Al: No comments, please
Sky: -rolls eyes-
Roy: Oh so I can light something on fire now? Awesome! –snaps fingers and lights the headquarters- -throws his gloves at Riza- Riza did it!
Riza: -glares at him while she is arrested- -brings out her gun and shoots at him-
Roy: Eep! –falls twitching to the ground-
Greed: You know I think I tried that before…I wonder if it will work this time? –transforms into ultimate shield form- AHA! So I can blend into the wall! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! IT IS THE ULTIME DISGUISE!!
Winry: B-break down Ed's arm? B-but…
Ed: -gives her his arm without a word and walks towards Roy-
Winry: -stares at him-
Sky: All right then I guess you have to do it now
Winry: But I don't want to
Sky: Do it. –holds up wrench- Now.
Winry: -glares but slowly starts to break down Ed's arm and begins to cry-
Sky: -rolls eyes- You are such a (censored) crybaby…
Winry: -completes destroying Ed's automail and throws herself off building-
Sky: -mutters- Finally. Took her long enough
I laughed SO hard at what happened with my previous insanity! W00T!
Ed: Kill Winry, ignore any dares that tell you to drink milk (Over-Ride All Milk Dare Command), give me your coat, and kill everyone who has ever insulted you. 'Cept Envy.
Lust: You still rule. Kill Greed, and then give me a hug.
Wrath: Go play with GIR from Invader Zim. He has chocolate bubble gum.
Envy: Read a EdxEnvy fic.
Gluttony: Go kill yourself. You're not good enough for the precious, awesome, sexy, and deadly Lust.
Scar: Go talk to the Ishbalans you mooned, and pretend like it never happened.
But I'm Useless: Go molest someone who ISN'T Ed.
Riza: Change your first name to "I" your middle to "Can't" and your last to "Shoot". Your name will be: "I Can't Shoot"! And you can't hunt me down and shoot me. For I will sick Gir in duty mode on your .
Breda: Tell Armstrong he sucks . And allow him to throw you as far as possible.
Armstrong: -whispers in his ear what suck means-
Fuery: Go watch a Barney, Teletubbies, and Spongebob marathon for a day. And if you blink, you have to watch it for another day. Commercials are blink breaks. And you have to be there the ENTIRE DAY!
Silver Candle: Keep on writing! Meanwhile, I must go watch Invader Zim and write more for my Zim/Gaz Fanfic! -flys off-
FallenAngel Kit
Ed: Isn't Winry already dead though? She just committed suicide… -shrugs- Oh well. I think I will ignore people forcing me to drink milk and I don't know about giving you my jacket…hm…maybe… -shrugs again- -gives Fallen his coat and goes on a second killing spree- REVENGE IS MINE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Lust: Thank you. –stabs Greed- -reluctantly gives Fallen a hug-
Wrath: CHOCOLATE BUBBLE GUM! I WANT SOME! GIMME GIMME GIMME!! -spazzes and foams at the mouth-
Envy: So…I have to read a story with me and Ed together do I?
Sky: Sure. –hands him one-
Envy: You know…I think I might be better for him than the flame colonel… -starts to read fic- What the hell?! What is this (censored)?! I would never do that to him!
SKy: Yeah but you're perverted enough to do so
Envy: Am not!
Sky: Are too!
Envy: Not!
Sky: Too!
Envy: Not!
Sky: Too!
Envy: Not!
Sky: Too!
Envy: Not!
Sky: Not!
Envy: Too!
Sky: AHA SO YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT HUH?! I KNEW IT!
Envy: Huh--what? I AM NOT A PERVERT!
Sky: Too late for that!
Envy: -growls-
Gluttony: -burns himself-
Pride: Good riddance
Scar: -walks up to other Ishbalans- That never happened okay?
Ishbalans: If you say so…
Roy: My name is not But I'm Useless! And why would I molest anyone?!
Sky: Because you're a pervert!
Roy: No I'm not
Sky: Yes you are
Roy: Not!
Sky: Yes!
Roy: Not!
Sky: Yes!
Roy: Not!
Sky: Yes!
Roy: Not!
Sky: Yes!
Roy: Not!
Sky: Yes!
Roy: Not!
Sky: Not!
Roy: Yes!
Sky: Wh00t! I got you to finally admit that you're a pervert! Just like Envy!
Roy: What?! Aw shi--nevermind
Sky: -laughs evilly-
Roy: -narrows eyes- So I still have to do it?
Sky: Yep!
Roy: -rolls eyes and walks towards Envy-
Envy: What do you want?
Roy: -kisses him-
Sky: Hey Riza! I changed your name!
Riza: To?
Sky: I can't shoot!
Riza: -blinks- What?
Sky: That's your name from now on!
Riza: -shoots at her-
Sky: Eeep! –hides behind Ed-
Breda: Major Armstrong. You suck
Armstrong: HOW DARE YOU!! –throws him a mile away-
Breda: -screams like a girl-
Fuery: -is tied in a straight jacket and forced to watch- I remember watching this when I was a kid…but I don't remember it being this…weird. –blinks- No I blinked! Why?! Where is the justice?! I don't want to watch anymore! Help me! Waaaaaaaah! Moooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!
Sky: Thank you!
A/N: Hm…I think this is one of the craziest chapters I have ever written for this story…but I had fun writing it... -smiles-
I've had this idea in my head for a while, but I was wondering if I should do something like this for the book series Twilight (by Stephenie Meyer)…can't you just imagine Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper doing something silly and/or crazy like the characters in FMA? That would be just as fun to do as this. –grin- Please let me know if you think I should--and it would be wonderful if I received dares/questions in advance.
See you next chapter!
Across the Sky