32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in…"If the Shoe Fits…"
Chapter Four
Titan's Tower: Raven's Room
Raven fidgeted as she watched Starfire mixing up some potion or another, chanting now and then. She was bored. No book interested her at the moment. She just couldn't seem to get into the story. That was odd. It never happened before. She tried talking with Starfire and was promptly shushed. She looked out the window. The sun was finally beginning to set. Then she could stab Shade some more. …Starfire could probably survive a stab to the shoulder...Raven reached under her bed. Starfire's back was turned so she didn't notice. Raven's hand felt the handles of everything she had stashed under there. Finally she felt the right one and pulled it out. Standing up silently she walked over to Starfire and raised the blade over her head.
Starfire: Please do not stab me.
Raven: …my reflection in the cauldron?
Starfire: Yes.
Raven turned and went back to her bed, shoving the knife back under it. She flopped onto her bed, her face planted in her pillow. That lasted for a minute. Then she reached under her bed and pulled a different tool. Hefting it, she left the room.
Cyborg's Room
Cyborg sighed as he stood in front of the mirror. Somehow being a cyborg skeleton was decisively worse then just being a cyborg. At least then he could sleep without tying cloth around his head. He sighed and hung his head. When he looked back up, he saw something behind him. He spun and saw Raven with a heavy looking mallet in her hands. She had drawn back to swing…and wasn't going to stop just because he noticed. The mallet knocked his head off. It rolled on the floor again.
Cyborg: Yo! Raven, what are you doing?
Raven grinned (which is scary in itself) a terrifying grin. Hefting the mallet she followed the groping body around the room.
Raven: You have to understand, Cyborg. I need to do this. To maim, to injure, to harm. I have to. It's what my costume is all about. Senseless, mindless, and utterly excessive violence is, for now, the sum total of my life. But I don't want to hurt anyone. Deep inside I still know it's wrong to take a life. What's a psychopath who's afraid to kill to do?
Raven lifted the mallet and swung down, taking the shoulder off Cyborg's body. Raven inhaled deeply.
Raven: It's a nice sound, isn't it? That loud crack that comes from impact, then the snapping of the bone as it either breaks or dislocates…and finally that tiny little thud as it hits the floor.
Ooookay…Raven had officially reached "freaky" levels. Cyborg decided he had to try and talk Raven down from whatever maniacal state she was in.
Cyborg: Raven, you got to calm down. You're not yourself.
Raven slammed the mallet down near his head.
Raven: Of course I'm not myself! That's the POINT! Now let me finish my monologue.
Pausing to remember where she had left off, Raven began again, still following the groping body.
Raven: In order to solve my problem, I decided that I would just have to pick on those who wouldn't die from my actions. Last night I took bladed weapons to Shade's body.
Raven felt tears welling up in her eyes. She wiped them away, sniffling.
Raven: My own boyfriend…I STABBED him! And I liked it! I'm sick in the head and it's all that wretched Mumbo's FAULT!
At the word "fault", Raven slammed the mallet down again, Disconnecting the spine from the pelvis. The legs kicked around as the upper torso continued to search for the head. Raven snickered as she watched.
Cyborg: You're letting the costume control you, Raven. You're stronger then this.
Raven: …I…I'm trying, Cyborg. I really am…but…I…GRRRRAAAH!
Raven swung the mallet, breaking one of the weight machines more fragile parts. She swung again and again in frustration. Finally the mallet could take no more and snapped in half. Raven stared at the stump in her hands.
Raven: (calmly) And so ends our little game.
Without another word, Raven helped Cyborg reassemble himself. She dusted him off and took a few steps back.
Raven: I'm sorry about that. Thank you for talking me down. I could have seriously damaged your body.
Cyborg: You sure you're feeling better now?
Raven: Positive. A little mindless violence is very stress relieving. Oh, one more thing.
In a sudden violent thrust, Raven jammed the mallet handle into Cyborg's left eye socket.
Raven: Happy Halloween, Cy.
Raven snickered as she left the room, feeling much better. Cyborg pulled the piece of wood from his head and sighed.
Cyborg: Man, midnight couldn't come soon enough.
Main Room: 11:17 p.m.
Beast Boy whimpered as Terra continued her relentless torture of using the flea comb on him. Apparently the wolfman had a lot of knots in his fur. Terra sighed as he struggled again.
Terra: I doth apologize for the pain this causes thee, but it is important that we rid thy body of flea eggs.
Humiliated, Beast Boy fumed. What was next, a walk in the park? …actually, he had done that before, but at least he looked like a real dog then. No matter what he tried to turn into, it was always a were-something or other. Were lion, were bear, and so on. The only way this could get worse was…the turned red as the alarm went off. Terra sighed and threw the comb behind her.
Terra: And with less then an hour to go…
Robin typed at the computer with his good hand. It took longer then usual, but soon the data came on the screen.
Robin: D'arr…we've a speedster running amuck.
Terra: Canst it not wait? How canst we hope to defeat our foe in these conditions?
Shade leapt down from the ceiling, blood running down his face. Apparently he had been feeding.
Shade: She's got a point, man. Raven's out of her head, Starfire is…
Starfire: Perfectly fine, thank you.
Starfire flew in. She looked the same, but her movements were no longer slowed in anyway.
Robin: Star?
Starfire: A potion to ease my old body's weariness and pain, Robin. I am fighting fit.
Robin: D'arr…then we're shoving off, maties!
Downtown
The evil type Kid Flash vibrated through the bank walls. Something was definitely up, but old Kid Flash could use some spending cash either way. He grabbed what he could and went back outside. The T-car pulled up, Shade and Starfire flying behind. The Titans piled at out of the car. Kid Flash bit his lip.
Robin: D'arr…that be enough, scurvy dog! It's the hold with ye!
Terra: …aye, Robin. Truly thou art a master of intimidation.
Kid Flash: …this…is too weird.
Starfire squinted and rubbed her eyes.
Starfire: Either my old eyes deceive me, or that is Kid Flash.
Shade: Looks like somebody got his colors confused.
Kid Flash: What the hell are you…oh…oh, I get it! Yeah, this is one of them alternate universes! I remember hearing that a speedster can break the barriers of time and space. That must be what I did. …so I'm in a dimension of pirates and vampires…that's freaky.
Shade sputtered.
Shade: No, you idiot! We've been cursed! We're not normally like this.
Robin: Either put the booty away and surrender, or face the consequences. No quarter asked, no quarter given.
Terra: …why wouldst we ask for quarters?
Cyborg: Not that kind of quarter.
Robin: Titans, GO!
The Titans leapt into action with their usual flair. Unfortunately…it's Kid Flash. He easily zipped behind them in a blur.
Kid Flash: The Titans huh? I thought the mask looked familiar. So you're the good guys in this dimension? That's just plain weird.
Starfire flung her starbolts at him. Sadly, they moved like dust particles in a breeze. Kid Flash spun his arms, creating a massive gust of wind. The starbolts flew back at her, knocking her out of the sky. Beast Boy caught her before her frail body could hit the ground.
Starfire: Perhaps I was…exaggerating when I said "fighting fit".
Robin leapt at Kid Flash, swinging his bo-staff which he had put into his pocket a while back. Unfortunately wielding it one handed wasn't the best way to use such a long weapon. Even if there was no problem…Kid Flash was too fast. He zipped around him and gave Robin a wedgie.
Robin: D'ARR!
Kid Flash: This is priceless, I swear.
Raven sneered from directly behind Kid Flash and raised the cleaver over her head.
Terra: Raven, no!
Kid Flash's eyes widened and he moved in time to avoid the cleaver strike aimed for his neck. He spun and grabbed Raven from behind. With an arm around her neck and the other gripping her cleaver wielding hand, Raven couldn't get away.
Raven: Get your filthy hands off me! Covered in germs and twisted thoughts!
Kid Flash: Wow, you're even crazier then the Raven in my world.
Shade: Get your hands off her!
Shade leapt at him, teeth bared. Kid Flash spun and used the centrifugal force to fling Raven at him. They both flew into the air. The other three attacked at once. Unfortunately, each of them had problems brought on by their costumes. Beast Boy's attempt to turn into a pterodactyl was hampered by the clothes he wore…and a were-pterodactyl was just a strange idea to begin with. He tripped himself up. Terra's powers didn't seem to want to work properly. Instead of creating a hand to grab the speedster, she created a statue of herself. Figures. It seemed all she could do was pay tribute to herself. Kid Flash bit back tears of laughter before zipping behind the attacking Cyborg and rearranged his bones so that he was a total mess. His feet were connected to his wrists and his hands to his ankles. His head was trapped between his rib cage somehow. Terra tried to tackle him, but he poked her. Well, that's how it looked. In reality he had jabbed her countless times with his finger. Cracks formed on her body and she fell to the ground, bleeding a viscous black fluid (Greek gods didn't have blood). Starfire struggled back to her feet.
Starfire: Just…a little more…
She whispered something and stomped her foot down. The ground broke around Kid Flash and twisted grasping hands reached for him. He yelped and ran around them frantically. Raven floated in the air with Shade.
Raven: Two can play your game…
She used her powers to spin Shade around and launched him at the speedster. Kid Flash hit the ground hard. Shade was about to bite him, despite the protests of his friends when Kid Flash began to vibrate. The heat generated burned Shade's body and he rolled off him, hissing in pain. Kid Flash held him down (guess not all vampires are super strong) and pointed a finger at him.
Kid Flash: Time to see what's in that head of yours.
Kid Flash began to vibrate his finger rapidly. He'd easily be able to phase through Shade's skull…when the clock struck twelve. Shade's costume changed back to normal and he turned into a shadow, slipping out of Kid Flash's grasp. Before the confused Kid Flash could understand what just happened, he was shot from behind by a sonic blast. Cyborg knocked on his metal chest.
Cyborg: Booyah! It's good to be back!
Kid Flash started to stand up when the concrete turned into mud and he began to sink. He whirled around and managed to get himself out only to be struck by a rock to his gut.
Terra: You, your, my…yep, I'm speaking normally again!
Kid Flash groaned and got up, holding his stomach. He was grabbed by a gorilla and thrown into the air. Starfire grabbed him and spun him around before tossing him to Raven. Raven chanted and a flat surface of her energy formed. Like a fly, he was swatted to the ground. He slowly staggered to his feet, his body in pain. He looked up in time to see Robin ready to attack.
Kid Flash: Sc…screw this. It's not worth it…
Kid Flash began vibrating his body. Soon he disappeared, jumping dimensions again. Robin's foot landed in the spot the speedster was in seconds ago. The Titans gathered around. Beast Boy scratched his head and shrugged.
Beast Boy: So…did we win?
His eyes widened and he beamed.
Beast Boy: DUDE! I can talk again!
Raven: And the only silver lining of the curse is gone.
Starfire spun around in the air, twisting and bending.
Starfire: I can move without experiencing pain! Glorious!
Swooping down, she grabbed Robin and lifted him up. Starfire grasped his once again normal hand and put her head on his empty shoulder.
Starfire: And Robin! Your hook and parrot are no more!
Robin blushed.
Robin: Uh…okay…let's all…go home.
Cyborg: Man, I'm throwing my costume right out when we get home.
Everyone seemed to agree.
Titan Tower: Outside Raven's Room
Raven sighed. She had to say SOMETHING.
Raven: …look, Shade. I'm sorry about…you know…stabbing you repeatedly.
Shade shrugged.
Shade: I'm used to bursts of violence from you.
Raven: …yeah, that makes me feel so much better. Thanks. I'm serious. It couldn't have been reassuring.
Shade: Like I said, it didn't hurt.
Raven felt relieved. She had been feeling kind of guilty about the whole thing. She'd apologize to Cyborg next…when she saw him again.
Shade: Besides, now you owe me.
Staring at him for a moment, Raven hit the button on her door and opened it. She stepped inside and turned around.
Raven: Good NIGHT, Shade.
The door slid closed, leaving Shade very confused. He wasn't sure…but he could swear Raven was angry about something. He wasn't sure why. He just wanted her to scratch behind his ears again. That feels gooooooood.
Main Room
Robin sat at the computer desk, hunched over. He had a look of intense thought on his face. The door opened and Starfire entered.
Starfire: Ah, there you are, Robin. What are you doing awake now? It is most late.
Robin: …I'm just trying to figure out who we just beat, Star. He looked like Kid Flash, sounded like Kid Flash, even had Kid Flash's powers…
Starfire floated in a seat position next to Robin, a thoughtful look now crossing her face.
Starfire: …but he was most certainly NOT Kid Flash. He DID claim to be from another universe. Is such a thing possible?
Robin: Can't imagine why not. Of course he could just be trying to trick us.
Starfire shrugged.
Starfire: If this is true, where did he go? Fast he may be, he cannot just disappear without leaving some trace, yes? Would there not be a trail of dust? A gust of the wind? Some sort of sign of his fleeing would be left, would there not?
Robin: …yeah…so we have to assume he wasn't lying.
Starfire leaned back, still floating. She put her arms behind her head and stared at the ceiling.
Starfire: …meaning there is, in high probability, a universe where we are the villains. I cannot even conceive of such things. How could we be villains? What would drive us to do criminal acts of any kind?
Robin: …who knows? I can guess about me. In that world Raven could have succumb to her demon side rather the resist it. Shade used to be pretty messed up too. Then again, maybe our lives are completely different in that dimension. Hell, we might even LOOK different physically. Hair color, eye color, anything could be changed. …and somehow I don't think this is going to be the only time we meet somebody from that dimension.
Starfire: …is this enough of the foreshadowing for you?
THE END