Disclaimer: Yes I'm four wemon who get to read, write, and watch anime all day long and I get paid for it...

NOT!

CLAMP owns everything including the soul of every KuroFai fan.

AN: Blame Keiyou and her ebil, ebil quotes. They're just too darn funny to pass up. PS: Too lazy too spell check. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Fai smirked to himself as he remembered the incident from this morning. Well, okay, maybe he wasn't smiling about that precisely. He hadn't really enjoy the sudden burst of cold water in his morning shower but he did enjoy the wonderful opportunity Kurogane had unknowingly gifted him with.

The ninja had retaliated.

This meant war.

"Uh, Fai-san, what are you planning on doing with that?" Syoaran asked, looking a little sheepish as he tried to keep his distance.

"Huh? Oh, this?"

The boy nodded, taking a step back when the mage held his hands out to him.

"Nothing." He smirked evilly. "Queen Fuzzy Legs is a present for Kuro-sleepy to make up for Mommies bad behavior this morning." The smirk grew.

"But..." Sakura started, a worried look on her face but then seemed to think better of it. After all, did she really want to know about it? "Actually, never mind. Maybe Syoaran and I should go set the table for breakfast."

"Thank you, Sakura-chan."

"Don't mention it, Fai-san. Really." She looked a little distressed.

"No problem." Fai winked. He knew how bad the ninja's temper could be when it really got going.

"Wait." Syoaran said before she could tug him away. "Before we go... are you really surethat's going to be something Kurogane-san... likes?"

Clearly the poor boy had missed the entire under-script of his and Sakura's conversation. He'd have to teach him to read between the lines one of these days. "Oh, yes. I've done my research."

Moments Kurogane came walking in the door, a newspaper held in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. This morning he'd woken up, the second time around, to a blissfully quiet house with the mage nowhere to be seen and hopefully sulking someplace over his ruined shower.

Yes, that was a thought worth smiling over. He was definitely in a good mood now.

That was until he saw the mage sitting by himself in the living room. The blond sat cross legged on the floor, his hands held over something as he whispered and cooed to whatever it was.

'This can only mean trouble.'He contemplated his chances of backing out unnoticed but decided against it. He'd have to come back eventually after all. "Oi, idiot, what've you got there?"

Fai turned to him, beaming, and held out his hands. "Kurogane..."

'Oh, shit.' This had to be serious.

The was the moment he'd been waiting for.

"Kurogane..." He started very seriously, trying with some difficulty to tone down his smile. "I'm very sorry for my inconsiderate behavior this morning. It was rude of me to be shouting like that when I knew you were trying to sleep."

The ninja blinked, clearly taken aback. "Oh."

"To make it up to you I went out and bought you a present. Please accept it with my humblest of apologies."

"Uhm..."

Fai reveled in that moment of unguarded uncertainty and held his hands up a little higher before opening them.

Kurogane froze.

"I've been calling her Queen Fuzzy Legs or Q.F.T. for short but you can give her another name if you'd like." He smiled innocently, trying his damndest not to chuckle as the ninja paled.

"What. The. Hell. Is. That?"

"I just told you, silly. Her name is Queen-"

"Not who, what! As in 'what' the hell is that?"

Not laughing became a real choir when his voice suddenly rose up another octave at the end of that demand. With the children gingerly peeking out from the kitchen door he decided to step up his performance by standing and holding his hands out further nearly cracking when Kuro-spaz involuntarily backed up a step. "She's just a harmless little tarantula." He demonstrated by petting her fondly.

"Keep that thing away from me!"

"Oh, don't worry, I don't think she's poisonous." He took another step towards him, offering him the hairy creature like one would a peace offering. He took another two steps back, gritting his teeth. "Why, Kuro-tan, don't you want her?" He tried to act innocent but knew he'd screwed up as soon as the ninja's eyes narrowed.

As soon as the idiot butchered his name he knew he was up to something. "You..." He growled, newspaper clutched in his hands.

"Hey, Kuro-chii, how're you gonna read your newspaper all rolled up like-"

-THWAP!-

With that the proud ninja turned to leave, forgetting one of the most important rules on the battle field in his haste to be away from the freakish little creature- and the spider too.

Never turn your back on your enemy.

"Oh, Kuro-scardy-ballerina?"

"What the did you just call..." He started to turn but it was too late. The mage had already dropped Queen Fuzzy Abomination down the back of his shirt.

"GAH!"