The house was cold, and every noise reverberated loudly. Roxas walked inside, coming home an hour earlier from struggle practice, he kicked his shoes off by the door and set his book bag down by them.
A year earlier Roxas' mother had died in a car accident and he was left with his older brother and their stepfather, Sephiroth. Roxas never liked his stepfather, and wasn't ever sure why his mother had married the older man. She never like to be alone and when his father left she didn't wait long to start dating again, within a short year and a half she was re-married and the brooding, terrifying man began to live with them.
In the end Roxas guessed that it was better to be with a man that his mother loved then to live with a man that despised you. He didn't remember much of his father, but what he did remember sent shivers of anger coursing through his body. He always told Roxas that he was a mistake, that they were all fine, just the three of them. Cloud was enough to love, but when he came around; all his mother's love was displaced to her boys. His father hated him, he was jealous and never left a moment to relieve Roxas's mind of this fact. He was a mistake, and he stole his mother's love from the person she should truly love. So in the end, Sephiroth was better. But…
After his mother's accident Sephiroth changed. He wasn't ever loving toward the boys, they weren't his own, but he was still polite and he listened if they wanted to talk; he tolerated them. The first thing Roxas noticed was the drinking. He understood at first, everyone deals with grief in different ways, but it got worse. Instead of having a whiskey when he would think of his lost wife, he began to drink throughout the day, by the time Roxas got back from school he'd be passed out on the couch some times, or stumbling around upstairs mumbling about old memories to himself. The second thing that Roxas noticed was the violence. Sephiroth's temper grew short and he began to yell more, for insignificant reasons.
Sephiroth also began to hit him.
Nothing, to bad he kept telling himself the first time was an accident, he got in Sephiroth's way and he got a black eye. Sephiroth didn't apologize, but he felt bad and avoided him for days. A few weeks later it happened again and he was sure Sephiroth meant it. In stead of getting in his way, Sephiroth looked for him, found him in his room and grabbed him by the collar. Roxas tried to stay calm, not to provoke him at all as his stepfather slammed him against the wall yelling at him for stealing his mother's love. 'Just like dad…' Roxas would think with resentment.
After that everything was different. Roxas was starting to get bruises on his back, Sephiroth would shove him to the side as he walked by and Roxas would just mutter something like, "sorry sir, I hadn't realized I was in your way," And move on.
Cloud was overprotective of him, and it didn't take him to long to notice the bruises. Roxas told him he'd fallen, wasn't paying attention one day but the second time it happened Cloud wasn't as stupid.
"He's upset, of course he would be. I don't mind if he blows off some of his steam on me, it won't last much longer." Cloud frowned at his brother's explanation. He was even more upset when it didn't stop.
That day when Roxas came home he was relieved. Sephiroth had finally given up, and gotten over his phase. Roxas was happy, maybe it was good he had told Cloud, Sephiroth respected him more because he was older and maybe he'd finally realized what he had been doing.
Roxas was thinking of just this, the final peace that was in their house now when he climbed the stairs to the upper floor of their house. Roxas tossed off his jacket in the doorway of his room and went to the bathroom. When he came out a soft noise from Cloud's room caught his attention, Cloud was supposed to be at work, he didn't remember him being sick, maybe someone was in his room.
Roxas knocked softly and with no response he opened the door of Cloud's room, he stood in the doorway and his heart dropped in his chest and he screamed.
Roxas sat up in bed, his heart was pounding and he felt like he couldn't breathe. The same feeling of horror and panic and pain filled him. His forehead was beaded with sweat and he clutched his chest trying to calm himself. Roxas looked up across the room he saw a dark figure looming over Demyx in his bed.
"No…" he gasped getting up and running to the other side of the room pushing the figure from his roommate, "get off him!" he screamed, holding his arm afterward, his wrists still hurting from the break.
"Roxas? What the fuck?" Demyx looked at him shocked almost angry, pulling the sheet over his bare chest. The figure that he had shoved onto the floor sat up slowly, holding his head frowning.
"Dem, maybe I should go..." The gruff voice of Xigbar came from the floor.
"No! Xig, stay… please." Roxas could hear the desperation in his voice and suddenly felt terrible. He thought that Demyx was getting hurt, not even the possibility of him wanting the other man on him had passed his mind.
"I'm sorry… Demyx I thought something else… don't stop on my account." Demyx smiled and nodded at him patting the bed beside him for Xigbar.
"No, it's okay." Xigbar looked down grabbing his shirt, his voice becoming lower. "Luxord is probably concerned anyway."
The second that Luxord's name left Xigbar's lips Demyx melted. His eyes dulled and he looked down. The blonde frowned and grabbed a random shirt from the floor and slipped it over his head walking to the balcony climbing out to smoke. Xigbar blushed, "what'd I say?" he asked Roxas confused.
"Maybe mentioning your boyfriend in front of the boy who loves you, just after you had a seriously hot make out session… but I'm just guessing that is…"
"Should I talk to him?" Xigbar stood up but hesitated, waiting for Roxas' decision. When the blonde shook his head lightly, Xigbar nodded and pulled his hair back in a loose pony tail, then left.
Once the pirate was gone Roxas grabbed the comforter from Demyx's bed and stepped out onto the balcony. Demyx was leaning against the wall, his head tilted back and his eyes closed tight the light gray smoke from his cigarette floating to the sky. The moon moved from behind the dark clouds in the sky and Roxas saw the glistening tears that were silently slipping down Demyx's cheeks. Roxas felt his heart stop and drop to his stomach, Demyx was in such pain.
"I told him I loved him…" Demyx choked out after a moment, glancing down at Roxas and smiling condescendingly. "He didn't say it back… but he didn't push me away either. I guess I just thought… y'know he loved me back." Demyx took another long drag of his clove cigarette and then let out a sob, a puff of smoke covered his face and when it finally dissipated he was completely gone. Roxas' heart ached for his friend and he pulled him down, sitting on ground he wrapped them both in the blanket. "Roxas… tell me what to do."
Roxas shook his head, and hugged him close. "No, you need to decide for yourself, but I'll help you." Roxas smiled and took off his mood ring slipping it onto Demyx's finger, he looked at him confused but Roxas told him to wait. "you'll see…" he said softly and the color began to change. "You're scared Demyx." He gestured to the purple tint of the ring. "What are you scared of?"
Xigbar walked into his apartment and into the kitchen. The microwave clocked blared in the blackness, and rubbed his face in his fault. It was past two and he was supposed to get home from work at one. There was no noise coming from the bedroom, which was a good thing he thought, taking a quick swig from the milk carton he headed to bed.
Luxord was splayed out on the bed snoring softly, not enough so that you could hear it from another room. Xigbar sat on the edge of the bed and started to pull his hair into a loose braid. He'd never let anyone see his hair like this, and would kill Luxord if he told a soul; but he found early on that this was the way to keep it from strangling him in the middle of the night. It also helped it from getting knotted. So back off if he really wanted to be a dirty gross guy he'd either buzz his head, or not care, and then be a knotted mess. And regardless of whether you got the chance with him, he's still a good piece of eye candy, so thank god he was braided his hair before bed.
After his mini beauty session Xigbar pushed Luxord over in the bed a little and laid down, the brit groaning slightly and laying against him. "What's the bloody time?" he slurred keeping his eyes closed. Xigbar sighed pulled the blanket over him.
"It's late, go back to sleep."
Luxord nodded and feel back asleep almost instantly snoring softly on his chest, Xigbar staying awake for sometime after.
Naminé was the first to wake up. After a small struggle, Roxas managed to bring the distraught Demyx back into his bed, he sat with him for a while to comfort him and when the elder boy feel asleep Roxas crawled back into bed with Naminé roughly around four in the morning. She had noticed that something had gone wrong in the middle of the night, so she told Tifa to let them both sleep through breakfast; this of course elicited some worry from the woman and she didn't let Demyx sleep past noon.
"Demyx sweetie, wake up." She gently touched his shoulder to get him up, petting back his bangs when he rolled over with a groan.
"What time is it Tif?" he asked groggily sitting up.
"It's nearly twelve thirty, now would you mind telling me what the hell you were doing last night?" It would be strange, from the outside perspective to see Demyx now coil back slightly in fear, because from the untrained eye Tifa was, still talking in her sweet innocent voice, just asking a question that every parent would want to know. But the thing with Tifa, she was not every parent and when she asked this innocent question, her eyebrow twitched in a way that would send shivers down anyone's spine. Demyx spine did so as he answered nervously.
"I went to see Xigbar at the club last night, I got home before twelve don' worry, Xiggy came by for a bit, and then left around one. I didn't do any drugs, sleep with anyone or let any strangers dance flirt and or touch me in any way more than a handshake. I was just upset, so I stayed up late I'm not sick or hung over or on any form of drugs." Demyx sighed after his pleading speech and looked at Tifa. She looked him dead in the eyes (most likely checking to see if they were blood shot) and then finally nodded.
"Okay… but you were upset why? Did that no good Axel do anything?" she was about to get up and get her shot gun, or it looked like it, when Demyx shook his head and waved his hands madly. "No, no, no… I barely saw Axel, it was a freak accident to run into him… maybe. But I didn't barely say two things to him. I was just upset cause… well…" he trailed off. He looked up at Tifa her arms firmly crossed over her chest and her brow set sternly. "I sort of confessed some feelings for Xigbar, I really do lo-… like him Tif, but he's still got Luxord in his life so he turned me down. Roxas helped me feel better though, I mean I still feel a twang in my stomach and it's all knotted but I stopped cryin' least." He said hopefully.
"My baby boy!" Tifa gasped and hugged him tight, shoving him into her full chest. "How could he do something so horrible, you're ten times better than that filthy Brit, no comparison." Demyx blushed and pulled away.
"Thanks, but that ain't exactly your choice now is it? I told 'em, he knows what I feel. And he'll have to deal with it." She nodded and pet his cheek sympathetically.
"Yes, well that's that for now I guess. Would you like some breakfast? I can pop the pancakes back into the microwave, or put a bagel in the toaster? Anything you need." Demyx shook his head solemnly and stood up.
"Nah… I'll just shower. I think I'll stay in today, clean up the place a bit eh?" with a forced smile he left the room to the bathrooms and headed to a shower. As soon as the water started to run his eyes watered up again and he was sobbing. He could only imagine what he looked like, the pain that was on his face for Tifa to react that way. Normally she would say she was sorry, but he should suck it up and get over it, end of conversation. But she really had cared, she was truly sorry and she was hurting for him, wanting to help him, she really did.
'What are you scared of?' Demyx replayed Roxas' words from the previous night. What was he scared of? He didn't know.
Roxas was sitting quietly on the bottom of the steps outside Twilight Home. He'd been sitting on the couch while everyone watched TV or played games on the floor but Naminé had called him to come outside with her, and get some of the fresh air. Although to Roxas, it didn't seem very fresh. The noise from the city bustle was keeping anything from being calm and the stench of fish markets, bus exhaust and sewers all seemed to waft his way. Naminé sat across the stoop from him, sketching lightly with a pencil looking up every so often and concentrating on his face, then back down and copying it to paper.
She hadn't really asked Roxas to come outside so she could draw him, but he was so concentrated on staring into nothing that she was captivated by him. "hold that pose…" she said more sternly than he'd ever heard anything and didn't dare to look over at her to know what she was doing; hearing clearly the scratch of graphite against the grain of the paper.
Roxas didn't mind not moving, in fact he loved it. Most of the time he didn't move, and people would ask why he just sat there, why he didn't play with the other boys, or want to have conversations with anyone. Now he had a reason; because he was a subject, being carved into stone, somewhat.
Roxas liked Naminé, he really liked being around her. And when he wasn't he wanted to be, but not the way most would think. If he had told Demyx he like Naminé no doubt the blonde would get all cutesy and ask him if he'd like to set up at date on the terrace or something as equally embarrassing. No, he liked Naminé but there was something about the feelings that they shared, he was sure. So there he sat on the stoop of his temporary home, while his Naminé sketched him on paper.
Demyx pulled himself out from under the water when it grew frigid and wrapped a towel loosely around his waste, walking to his bedroom. When he got there, a small stack of fresh hotcakes were sitting on a small tray along with some milk, and a dose of aspirin for the oncoming migraine that was sure to hit. Demyx smiled slightly for Tifa thinking of him, but couldn't think to stomach any food.
He popped the two pain killers and swallowed dryly, laying back on his bed still just in a towel unsure of what to think, do or say he drifted off with one phrase repeating over and over in his head. 'What are you afraid of?'
AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, it's sort of a transition chapter. I like Xigbar though, he'll definitely be getting a larger roll.
Preview for next Chapter: The trial starts, and Roxas finds a way to escape some of his pain.