LULU POV

Everything seemed like a blur. An utter, surreal blur. I had the feeling of when you dry swallow a big pill. My head hurt, by breasts were sore, my abdomen hurt, I felt weak all over. I didn't really remember anything. I could faintly remember the small sounds of whimpers, but nothing too extravagant.

"Lulu? Baby?"I slowly, opened my eyes, but shut them, and tried opening them again. I saw a figure that had the shape of the only man I had ever loved. Johnny.

"Mmm."

"Oh god, baby please, say something. Can you hear me?"

He grabbed my hand, and squeezed it.

"J-Johnny." Just saying his name hurt so bad.

I heard him breath a sigh of relief.

He kissed my forehead, and then, he was gone.

JOHNNY POV

"Mr. Zacharra?"I shot my head up. They kicked me out of the room about 5 minutes ago. Because she woke up.

"Your son, you can see him if you'd like."I just stared at her, and back to the wall in front of me. "No."

"Uhm, Mr. Zacharra? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine.""He's 5 pounds, 3 ounces. He's got big, brown eyes."

I looked back up to her.

"Why are you telling me this?""He-he's your son."

"I was gonna kill him. I cant see him right now."

She nodded, and walked away.

"Mr. Zacharra?"

Not again.

I looked up.

"You can see your wife now."

I stood up, and walked into her room.

She had her head turned to the door. I looked at her, too guilty to smile.

She looked up to me. "I know what you did. What you planned to do. You're a cold bastard Johnny. You know that? You were going to kill our child to save me. How could you even THINK of something like that?"

I sat down next to her, and tried to take her hand, but she didn't link her fingers with mine. She kept it still, but didn't pull it away.

I looked down.

"Are you ashamed of yourself?"

I looked back up to her, the fear rumbling in my stomach.

"I wasn't going to let you die.""So you would let our child die instead?""Lulu-"

"Johnny. I would never leave you. Ever. I love you so much. But to think that you were going to kill your baby to save me, I don't even know what to say.""Our son."

She just looked at me. "A boy?"

I nodded, and sunk my head into her side.

"I'm sorry."

She put her hand on my head, but quickly snapped it away as the door slapped open.

I looked up to see a nurse holding a baby. Ours.

I looked back to Lulu, but she didn't take her eyes off of him.

LULU POV

"Can I hold him?"

"Of course you can." The nurse sounded over-excited.

She handed him to me, and Johnny backed away.

As mad as I should be at him, I just wasn't. I couldn't be. I loved him. So much.

The nurse walked out, and I turned my head to Johnny. "Come here."

He slowly walked over. The baby in my arms whined, and squirmed in my arms.

Johnny sat next to me on the bed, and took the baby's hand gently. "I'm so sorry little man."

I looked down to the baby, and smiled. "Hi honey."

I leaned against Johnny. "I love you."

"I love you too Lulu."

OCTOBER 10, 2007(FLASHBACK)

I wasn't supposed to be doing this.

I left him, years ago.

And now, I was saving him.

I had wished he was dead for so long, and now, the opportunity that he could be, I wouldn't let him be.

Because I wasn't strong enough. I loved him too much.

I could hear the wedding bells chiming from outside.

I'm wearing a long, white, strapless wedding gown.

I have my hair up, in curls.

I took a deep breath, and walked out the door.

I met my father at the arch, and glared down the isle, right into Johnny's burning eyes.

I wanted this to be over.

I was marrying the man that I despised, but loved all at the same time.

Then, the music began.

I slowly walked down the isle, arm in arm with Luke.

Everyone was looking at me.

But I kept my eyes focused on Johnny.

He had his hands at his sides, his jaw clenched, and his nose red.

I started to cry.

I wanted this every day of my life, but I was only saving him.

I couldn't fall for him again.

Not after what he did to me.

We stopped at the stairs, and, I walked up them.

I met Johnny's face, and his eyes looked pained, and sorrowful.

I missed him so much.

All I wanted to do right now, was grab him, and kiss him.

He reached his hands out, slowly, and I raised mine to meet his.

He clamped his fingers around my hands.

I cried harder.

"We are gathered here today, to celebrate the joining of Jonathan Anthony Zacharra, and Lesley Lu Spencer. John, you may start your vows."

This had to be real, in order for Johnny not to face the death term.

Johnny P.O.V

I loved her so much.

The only reason I slept with Maxie, was because I was framed. But no one knew that. Especially Lulu.

I inhaled sharply, and grasped her hands tighter.

"Lulu Spencer, I love you with all of my heart. I always have, and always will. You mean the world to me, and I wouldn't be able to live without you. I want you forever with me, to be mine always. I want to grow old with you, and die in your arms. Make a life with you, and give you the big white house with the big porch, and the swing. I want you to be happy forever, and for always. I want to be with you. I love you Lulu."

I wanted to throw up.

Not because I was marrying Lulu, but because I just meant every single word I just said, and somehow, she knew it.

I held her hands in mine, and felt a cold, drop on my hand.

Her tear.

I looked into her eyes, and just wanted to hold her tight, and never, ever let her go.

Lulu P.O.V

I wanted to die.

For this to end.

For these feelings to go away.

Every word, I knew he meant them, but I didn't want to believe it.

"Miss Spencer, I believe it is your turn."

"Johnny. Everything we have been through together, has made me person that I am today. I have my happiest days when I'm with you. I want to be able to look at our baby someday, and see the same, brown lustrous eyes, and dark brown hair. I want to see you next to me every time I wake up. I want to hold your hand, and walk into the world, once again. I want you to be with me forever. I love you Johnny."

I looked back to his eyes, and just wanted to melt away in them.

"Do you John Zacharra, take Lesley Spencer to be your lawful wedded wife, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

That's it, I'm dead.

He held my hand, and placed the white gold, diamond band on my finger, and held it tighter, like before.

"Do you, Lesley Lu Spencer, take John Zacharra to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

I took his hand, and placed the gold ring on his finger.

Oh no.

"I now pronounce you, husband, and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Johnny P.O.V

That was it. She was my wife.

I took her face in my palms, and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

I inched closer, and lightly touched her lips to mine.

She kissed me back, lightly.

I pulled away, still having her face in my hand, and smiled a warm, smile at her.

She smiled back, faintly.

I hadn't noticed the loud clapping, and cheers coming from the benches.

I took her hand in mine, and threaded her fingers through mine.

I walked down the steps, with her hand in mine, and walked through the arch, and took her outside.

She cried into my chest.

Lulu P.O.V

I couldn't let him know how happy I truly was.

I sobbed into his chest; his tux.

He held my waist, and the back of my head,

He shushed lightly into my ear.

I was just waiting for him to say it.

I was so thankful that he hadn't yet.

I looked up at him, and he stroked my cheek with his hand.

He pulled me toward the limo, and we climbed inside.

I sat across from him.

I stared out of the window, while we were being driven to the airport.

I could feel him staring at me, his gaze burning into my cheek.

I slowly turned my head to him, and just stared at him.

His eyes looked irritated, like he had been crying.

I wouldn't be surprised.

I scooted over to the other side of the limo, and sat next to him.

I placed my hand on his thigh.

He covered my hand with his, and traced the ring with his finger.

He swirled it around my finger, and glanced out the window.

"You can take it off now."

"What?""The ring, you don't have to wear it, its over."

"I want to, its, it's a, gorgeous ring Johnny."

He met my stare, and smiled.

He took my hand back in his.

"I never doubted you Lu."

"I know Johnny."

I squeezed his hand tighter.

END OF FLASHBACK

Another long summer's come and goneI don't know why it always ends this wayThe boardwalks quiet and the carnival ridesare as empty as my broken heart tonight

Then I close my eyes and one more timewe're spinnin' aroundand you're holdin' on tightlythe words came outI kissed your mouthno 4th of July has ever burned so brightly

You had to goI understandbut you promised you'd be back againAnd so I wander round this towntil summer comes around

I got a job workin' at the old parkAnd every song for five long years

And I count the days til you just might come back

Then close my eyes and one more timewe're spinnin' aroundand you're holdin' on tightlythe words came outI kissed your mouthno 4th of July has ever burned so brightly

You have to goI understandbut you promised you'd be back againAnd so I'm frozen in this towntil summer comes around

And it comes aroundAnd I close my eyesand you and I are stuck on the ferris wheelridin' with the motionand hand in handKnow that love belonged to us if only for a momentAnd baby I'll be back againyou whispered in my earbut now the winter wind is the only soundand everything is closin' downTil summer comes aroundTil summer comes aroundYeahI miss you babyI miss you babyTil you come back around

I married him once, and divorced him once. I didn't have any plans of doing that again.

This time, I planned on keeping him. And now that we had a child together, I wasn't ever going to let him walk away.

I never planned on having anymore kids. I told Johnny that. I still don't even know how this happened. I must have been out of it for a long while. Not to say that I didn't love this little boy with all my heart, and would give my life for him already, but there was a part of me, that just wasn't sure that I knew what I was doing. It wasn't per-say the guilt that I felt like I was replacing Alaina, but the fear of imperfection.

"Lulu…I want you to know that If I did what I thought I was going to do to that little boy, that I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Lulu, you saved me. From doing the worst thing in the world, from killing myself."

I looked up at him, and pulled his chin to mine, and touched my lips to his.

I turned my attention back to my baby. "What are we going to name him?"

"I don't know. Whatever you want."

"I like Lucas."

"Lucas it is."

"Lucas Damien?""No."

I laughed. "Right."

"Lucas Cameron Zacharra."

"I like it Lu."

"Me too."

" I love you. Forever."

"Me too. Forever, and ever."

"And I love you to Lucas."

I smiled down to him, and kissed his forehead, and Johnny held me, and had his other hand wrapped in Lucas's.

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