***I do not own any of the characters or original plot. They all belong to the beautiful world of Stephenie Meyer =)
Chapter 7 - Breaking free
As I made my way through the forest I knew Jacob sensed my anxiety and didn't bother coming after me. I knew deep down inside I couldn't go back to the Cullen's that I needed time away from the place that brought back such horrible memories.
Do I leave alone? Do I ask Edward to come with me? Did I want Edward to come with me? Did I want Jake to know that I was leaving? A million questions raced through my mind while flashes of my daughters face embraced every thought.
I decided that I should hunt before making any decision final. I leapt deeper into the forest. I found a young buck and quickly hunted and quenched my undying thirst. I then decided that I could no longer run away from my problems. I had to go back and see what I wanted to do next.
I got passed the clearing and made my way to the Cullen's front door. I saw Alice sitting on the porch her slender body was leaning towards the post. I knew she wasn't thinking properly her body language just seemed off for her.
"What's wrong Alice?" I asked genuinely concerned for my sister-in-law.
"I don't know, he hasn't made up his mind yet" she uttered in disbelief.
"Huh, who Jasper? What's going on is everything okay Alice tell me!" I yelled with terror feeling my entire body cavity.
"Bella, he's gone. He left without a word. He got up and walked away but I saw you coming back and him... I haven't seen" she managed to say before her gaze caught something in the distance.
"Alice you're really scaring me. Who left?" I asked trying to get the depth of her concern.
"...Edward..." she whispered.
I pushed through the front door where Rose, Emmett and Esme stood in an informal huddle. I looked around desperately trying to catch a sense of him in the vicinity. But he wasn't here. "Where's Edward?" I gulped back the fear that was starting to tremble my frame. No one answered.
I walked back outside, Alice's body hadn't moved at all. Where would he have gone, why would he have gone? Did he not care that I was already dead inside from what had happened today. Wow Edward was really selfish who would have thought.
"Bella, you've made up your mind haven't you," she asked.
"Um... what are you talking about Alice?" I asked suspicious not knowing what I had decided before even fully understanding what she was asking.
"You're leaving our coven. You don't want to be apart of us anymore. I saw it in my head and Edward saw it too." It all made sense; I had decided that I wanted to break free for the Cullen house before I came running back. But I didn't want to leave without talking to Edward; I needed to explain to him that I needed some time to concentrate on what I have become. I knew I loved Edward but I also loved Jacob. It was a hard distinction in my mind between loving someone and being with someone. I wanted to be with the one I loved.
Guilt of wanting to be with Jacob penetrated every part of my body. I knew I didn't love Jake in that way before all of this; I wanted Edward but why is it now that as a vampire I feel an urgency to be close to him. It had dawned on me that I had made a huge mistake and that Edward would never be able to forgive me... Oh no what have I done.
***Alright guys this chapter is dedicated to A for Angel =) I'm sorry for the super short chapter! Also if you guys want Jacobs P.O.V please review and let me know... Thanks for all the reviews and please R&R with your comments =)