Hello again!
Here is, as promised, chapter three!
In case anyone forgot:
R Remus
C Counselor
S Sirius
J James
SN Snape (Yes that's right! New character!)
C Well good morning Mr Black, Mr Potter, Mr Lupin!
R Good mo-
S Hey Patty!
J How have you been holding up Pat?
C Mr Black, Mr Potter, I will not ask you again! Call me Counselor!
S Yeah, yeah, so Patty, what's on for today?
J Yeah because I have serious plans today
S Awwww! He has Sirius plans!
J Erm.. no, sorry mate but I meant I have plans with Lily, serious plans...
S Ahh, Evans has replaced me...
J No Padfoot! She's just-
S Mate, I was kidding! I know you need your times with Evans, and in the mean time, Remus and I can hang out!
R Yeah.. great...
C Right, if you don't mind me asking Mr Potter, who is Evans?
S Evans is his girlfriend!
R Old Prongs here has been after Lily Evans' heart for a long.. long time!
C How long?
J Seven years! But she finally agreed to go out with me last month! And today we're going to the library to.. study..
S Hehe, yeah, study...
R I'm sure...
J What better place to... study... than the good old Library, and the restricted section, eh Padfoot? Eh?
S I hear you loud and clear mate, loud and clear.. I showed him that place two years ago! It's deserted, perfect for snogg- I mean, studying...
R Right...
C Well, thats very erm.. interesting..
R This is nothing, you should hear them at night when they think me and Pete are sleeping.. Merlin, the healers at St Mungos should have given them muzzles when they were born, and warning signs tattooed to their foreheads...
J Aww thanks mate, well the healers at St Mungos must have given you a book when you were born because you can't seem to put one down! Your even reading now!
R Well I have an Ancient Runes test tomorrow!
S Mate, that is just sad, give the book to me before you collapse with a knowledge overload!
R No! Get off me! I need it Sirius!
J Moony your causing a scene, give the book to Padfoot!
R NO!!! NOT THE FIREPLACE!
C Mr Black don't you dare-
S See you in hell Ancient Runes! Ha!
J Nice Pads
C Mr Black, stop bowing and sit down! Are you alright Mr Lupin? Would you like a tissue?
R I'm not crying! I have something in my eye!
S Oops, a bit of ash from your book must have fallen out of the fireplace! Sorry Moony!
J Or.. he's out of his mind in grief! The loss of loved ones is normal Moony.. just.. let it go...
R Shut up Prongs!
C Could we please continue?
S I'm ready, but first, one question...
C What is it?
S Why do people call you a shrink? I mean.. do you actually shrink? Or does your dignity shrink when you try to counsel the un-counsel-able? Like the Marauders?
C Well I-
R Un-counsel-able? Theres no such word! Merlin your an idiot!
S No need to be mean Moony...
J Yeah Moony! Don't worry Pads, he's just depressed because you burnt his one true love!
S One true love? Well it's a good thing I burnt it before it found out about the ten million other true loves in the library.. what were you thinking Moony? Something like that can.. tear a person all up inside? Hehehe...
J Wait.. I don't get it..
R Sirius really, haven't you got anything better to-
J OH! I JUST GOT IT! Hehehe... tear, as in paper tearing.. hahaha...
S Yes Prongs, that was the joke, thanks..
C Boys please! Can we continue?
S You didn't answer my question from before...
C Because it was completely ridiculous!
S Jeez, your worse than Moony! So mean to poor Padfoot...
R Please, just continue with the session Miss Rosse...
C Right, thank-you Mr Lupin, anyway, we have a guest here with us this morning YES YOU CAN COME IN NOW! Now, this person has asked to remain anonymous, so he has a black bag over his face, yes here he is! Please take a seat!
SN Thank-you...
J Wait a minute...
S I kno that voice...
C NO YOU DON'T! I mean.. right well, hem hem. Mr erm.. Mr Anonymous, there was something you wanted to tell these men, so please, feel free to tell them how you feel...
SN Do I have to?
C Yes dear, just let it all out...
SN Well, um.. alright then. The other day, you three-
J Lit you on fire?
S Levitated you to the ceiling in the great hall by your underwear?
R Charmed the words 'Future Mrs Slughorn' to float above your head and follow you around all day and disappear when you looked up?
SN Well, I-
J And told the Merpeople, with the help of Moony's translator book, that you were threatening to wash your greasy underwear in the lake...
S Ooh that wasn't pretty...
R Those Merpeople can get pretty rough.. especially when they told the Giant Squid of your 'intentions' and it waited for you to sit under the beech tree and-
SN Yes thank-you!
J Ooh and we charmed your Cheeri-owls cereal to attack you when you tried to eat them...
S And we sent that love letter to Pamela Grinsett addressed from you!
R And we charmed your scarf to strangle you...
J And last year in winter we charmed an army of snowmen to attack you in your sleep...
S Ooh, and we-
C That's enough thank-you!
SN Yes, completely uncalled for...
J Hello Snivellus!
S Long time no see... Oh god no! Keep the black bag on! Oh god!
R Prongs shouldn't we tell him about the thing we put under his bed the other night-
J I have no idea what your talking about Moony!
R Ouch that was my foot!
S What foot?
J Yes, what foot?
C Moving on... well I suppose they know who you are now... how did you feel when they did all these erm.. 'pranks' on you Mr Snape?
SN Well, pretty bad actually-
J HAHAHAH!
S BAHAHAH!
R Hehe- I mean, cough- cough-
J Classic...
S Genius!
R Well it was pretty funny when the squid-
C Enough please! This is about Mr Snape's feelings!
J HAHAHAHA! Feelings? What feelings!?
S That kid is a freak of nature, he does not have feelings!
J Agreed.
C Shut it you two!
S Sorry Patty...
J My deepest apologies Pat!
R Yeah Pa- I mean, sorry Miss Rosse...
C Now please continue Mr Snape..
SN Erm... Well when you levitated me by my underwear it really hurt and I had to go to the Hospital wing-
S HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
J BAHAHAHAHAH!
C Get up you two! Get off the floor now!
S I... can't...BREATHE!
J ..I... see... a light..!
S Go... towards.. the... light!
J ...not... without... Lily..!
S HAHAHA! Stop-... stop-... can't... can't... oh Merlin...!
C Oh seriously!
R It is pretty funny...
C Have I taught you nothing?
R Do you want an honest answer or...
C THAT'S ENOUGH! SIRIUS AND JAMES GET UP AND SIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!
J Alright Pat
S I'll... try...
C Right, back to business! Mr Snape, apart from obvious physical pain, how did you feel when they lit you on.. erm.. fire...
SN Well, pretty bad actually.. I wanted to kill them.. especially Potter... stupid git- ARGH!
C ARRGHH! MR BLACK GET OFF OF HIM!
S You dirty!.. Rotten... snitch... greasy... slime-ball... stupid... git...
R SIRIUS STOP IT! STOP HITTING HIM!
J HAHAH! HE DESERVES IT! GOOD ON YA MATE! OOH CAREFUL! DON'T KNOCK THE BLACK BAG OFF!
C GET OUT! ALL OF YOU GET OUT NOW! OUT OUT OUT!
J No more counseling?
C I WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
J Aww...
R Aww...
S ... Ugly.. rotten.. What? Aww... more counseling...
SN Argh!!.. What? More? Aww...
S SHUT ... UP!
C GET OUT!
J Seeya Pat-
C OUT!
Well there you have it! I wrote this while babysitting on Christmas eve.. I know, how much does that suck??
Merry Christmas!
With love,
Emmi-Chick x