***I do not own any of the characters or original plot. It all belongs to the beautiful world of Stephenie Meyer =)
Chapter 10 - Decisions
Edward had made it clear that I needed to make a decision on what I wanted. Could I honestly go back to loving Edward the way I use to or did I want a change and to explore the feelings that I had harbored for Jacob for so long.
I wanted to change; I was ready to change... But now the disappearing human feelings and thoughts were embedded in every thought that I had. It was hard to believe that I had to abandon everything I really knew.
The loss of my baby put everything into perspective that love isn't perfect. That when you're in love with more than one, sooner or later the feelings re-emerge especially after a traumatic experience. I loved Edward to the core of my being, but the feelings I had for Jacob just never went away. Especially now after the death of my child the feelings were tugging at me constantly.
I was trying so hard to grasp on to everyone and everything I had ever loved. But now I had to make a decision on what I wanted and I knew in the process I would lose a piece of myself forever.
I got to the Quileute border, what was I doing? Could Jacob love me like this? Could I love Jacob like this? Could I just forget Edward my husband? I needed to make a decision. The next step was either toward Jacob and away from Edward or toward Edward and away from Jacob.
I didn't want to go back to Edward knowing that I was still torn about Jacob I knew I had to know who I really wanted to be with. Was I even ready to accept that I had made the biggest mistake in choosing Edward...? No I'm crazy Edward is mine and I would do anything for him so why was I even at the border? I stood on the border and then I had decided what needed to be done.
"I'm back..." I said looking down at the ground. How would he react? If I could blush at that moment my whole face would have given me away instantly. I looked up slowly examining the face that I wanted to be with at this very moment.
"I guess you are" was all he stated as he made his way towards me. My arms flung around his neck and with that I was embracing the man that I thought I wanted.
"I don't know how it's going to work out but I need to see. I feel as if I didn't give my everything before and now it's too late to go back."
"I know," his hand fidgeted with my hair as I leaned my body closer to him. "I'm surprised you came back."
"So am I."
With that I leaned towards his beautiful face my lips burned to be close to him. Before I knew it I was pinned to the ground my arms restrained and a deadly growl erupted from his chest. "Jake! What are you doing" I screamed in horror.
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU BELLA YOU'RE MARRIED YOU'RE A VAMPIRE YOU'RE MY ENEMY! YOU NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE I HURT YOU!" Jacob growled back at me I flinched away. What was I doing had I finally lost my mind?
Jacob jumped back against the wall of his garage. "Back away Bells I don't want to hurt you. Please leave, you don't belong here anymore."
"I don't want you either!" I screamed back trying to calm the growl that was about to rip threw my teeth. I looked around and I was surrounded by four giant wolves, crouched and ready to attack.
"LEAVE BELLA. Before we hurt you!" He screamed. No I couldn't just leave I needed to know how it felt when I kissed Jacob I needed to know. I needed to be okay for Edward; I wanted to get rid of any doubt in my mind.
I moved closer to Jacob with my hands in the air, "Jake I need to see something please" I managed to say through the shaking. My body was tense because of the stress of being attacked at any moment; the scent of the wolves was pungent and greater with their bodies all leaning towards me.
"No Bells leave. Please don't make me hate myself more than I do right now."
I looked at Jacob's face full of pity for me. The wolves that surrounded me took another step in my direction. I could tell it was Sam, Paul, Jared and Quil. Paul snapped his teeth at me; I shuddered and started to back away from the garage that held some of the fondest memories of Jacob and the human me.
I needed to leave. I knew I didn't belong; my vampire instincts and his werewolf instincts were too strong to control. What was I thinking? I couldn't love a werewolf when I was madly in love with a vampire nor was I?
I'm thinking of maybe 15 chapters in total or less =s... The next chapter is really good well I think so lol =) Hope you liked it! Please Read and review with your opinions! Please read and review if you want me to continue!