Forget whose who? Check the list, then read on!
J James
S Sirius
SN Snape
C Counselor
R Remus
L Lily!
Enjoy!! xx
C Good morning everyone, welcome to session five...
J Hello
S Morning
R Hey
L Good morning
C Well I am pleasantly surprised that all of you managed to say good morning so poli-
J Snivellus, Pat said good morning... what do you say?
S I know... so rude Snivellus!
SN Shut up Potter
J Ouch... Pat Snivellus was mean!
S You alright mate?
J Yeah... I think so... just, please, carry on Pat... ouch...
L James, stop it.
J By your command my beautiful-
C Mr Potter, thats quite enough...
S You need to be more careful Snivellus, think before you say!
SN Thats rich coming from you, Black
S See what I mean? You really are in the right place here Snivellus, this lady is here to help you.
SN If my memory is correct, we're all in here because you and Potter... well, because of you!
S What did I do? Refresh my memory! I think it has something to do with gasoline...
J He he he...
C Do you mind? We're running a tight schedule today, and I'd appreciate it if-
S How tight?
C Well... we have fifteen minutes today...
S Oh sweet! I mean... well, just sweet!
J Sirius, if we finish early, we have to go to potions!
S NO!
R James is right... we won't have a choice
SN Yes!
C Okay, Mr Black, I want you to think back to your earliest memory of Snape here, what-
S Wait, I have a question.
C I erm.. well alright then, what is it?
S What is god?
J Nice one Padfoot
L Oh brother...
C God?
S Yeah, god, you know... what is it?
C Erm... I'm not sure I'm the right person to answer that question
S But you're a counselor! You know everything!
C Well... I erm... God is-
S Wait, I have a new question...
C Very well... what is it?
S Can you burp the alphabet?
C Excuse me?
S The alphabet...
C Yes?
S Can you burp it?
C No! Of course I can't, thats disgusting! Now if you don't mind, I'd like to continue with the session-
J Hold on! I have a question.
C Mr Potter, I-
J It's quick! And important...
C Very well then, whats wrong?
J Where do babies come from?
C MR POTTER! How old are you?
J Seventeen... but I-
C Then you should know.
J But I don't..
C Then ask someone else!
J Alright, hey Snivellus, where do babies come from?
SN Shut up Potter, you and I both know McGonagall told the entire class in 2nd year.
J I forgot.
S Me too!
C Shush! All of you!
J I need to know!
R James, when a man and a woman love each other very much... they-
C Thats enough Mr Lupin!
R Sorry...
L Can we continue?
S Evans! How could you?
J Lily sshhh...
C Mr Black, what is your earliest memory of Mr Snape? You said you hated him ever since you first saw him... what made you hate him?
S Well... it was on our first day, on platform 9 and 3/4, and Snivellus was reading Hogwarts: A History out loud to some future Slytherin pure bloods... they'd already found their new death eater friends-
C Language!
S Right, sorry... anyway, one of them saw me and pointed me out to the rest of them, I think it was Avery, anyway, they made Snivellus come over to me and ask if I wanted to sit with them. When I asked why, he told me it was because I was a Black-
J Racist little-
L James!
J Sorry, continue mate.
S ...anyway, I said he can go shove his wand up his-
R Sirius...
S Up Knockturn Alley... anyway, the others heard me and it got into a rather huge fight, they asked if I thought I was too good for them, to which I replied obviously... and they whipped out their wands. Thats when I met Moony!
R Yeah... good times! Good times...
C What happened?
S Well Moony, being the peace keeper in our little family, tried to calm us all down... before James came along!
J Ha ha ha... the looks on their faces were priceless!
L Wait, I'm confused... what happened then?
S Well, James came walking up to the scene and told them all to bugger off or he'd tie them all to the back of the train. They seemed to clear off rather quickly... I think it was because they realized James was a Potter! No one messes with a Potter, they must be the most famous family of aurors in a century!
J Well... what can I say?
S After that, Snivellus here made himself a powerful enemy... or enemies!
L ...So what about Peter?
R What about him?
L Well you all met then and there... when did Peter come into the story?
S We found the death eaters-
C Mr Black!
S The future Slytherins! Picking on him when the train arrived in Hogsmeade, long story short, we helped him get rid of those little-
C I can now see, that the rivalry between Mr Snape here, and the Marauders is no ones direct fault... it was just an accident?
J Accident! Sure, thats one way of putting it...
S That was no accident, it was fate!
R A proud day to be a Marauder, in fact.
C I see...well that's about all the time we have for today! I-
S Wait, I have a question...
C Now what...?
S Whose side are you on? The death eaters, or the Marauders?
C Mr Black, that language is hardly necess-
J Answer the question Pat! It ain't a hard one...
C I'm not on any side, I'm here to help!
S A likely story...
J Indeed...
R Quite...
C Stop that! Now all of you, out!
S Question...
C What?
S What exactly, is a brochure?
C A what?
S A brochure! What is it?
C It's a pamphlet!
S I see... whats a pamphlet?
C Get out!
J I have a question...
C Make it quick...
J If I hit Sirius, what would you do?
C If you hit Sirius?
J Yeah, like this!-
S OUCH! Ahhh, Merlin that hurt! What was that for?
R Prongs what the hell?
C Oh come on Mr Black, he barely touched you-
J Ouch that looks bad, Padfoot are you alright?
S DON'T TOUCH ME! Arghh it's unbearable! Someone go get Poppy!
C Whats a Poppy?
R Madam Pomfrey!
L Sirius get up!
S I can't... oh Merlin... am I bleeding? Prongs, look to see if I'm bleeding!
J I can't see anything! Move your hand!
C Thats enough, both of you stop-
J OH MERLIN! PADFOOT! I'M SO SORRY! OH GOD! I think I'm going to be sick...
S WHAT? IT IS BAD?
J PUT PRESSURE ON IT! It's okay mate, we'll get through this!
C What? Show me, Mr Potter move aside!
S Ohhh it hurts!
C Potter, move your hand from Mr Black's arm, let me see!
J No can do Pat, I need to keep pressure on the wound!
S GET POPPY!
R Calm down Sirius!
L Oh no! James, don't move your hand!
J It's okay Lily, I won't!
S Uhhh my vision is going!
J Padfoot!
R Sirius! No!
L Sirius please don't die!
S ...Don't cry for me L-Lily, I will be y-your personal p-poltergeist... a-and... and...
J What is it? Speak to me!
SN Is he really dying?
C Oh dear...
L Let him speak!
R Sirius...
S A-and... I have a few last words...
J Say them mate!
S Snivellus is... a slimy freak.. ugh...
J SIRIUS! NOOOOOOOO!
R Sirius...?
L Oh James...
J It's alright Lily... it's alright...
SN He isn't... he can't be...
J He was my best friend...
C What? This is ridiculous! You barely touched him and now he's dead?
J EVERYTHING IS DEAD TO ME NOW!
C Calm down Mr Potter!
J CALM WON'T BRING SIRIUS BACK!
L James!
SN I can't believe this!
R Poor Padfoot...
S Psst, James, has it been half an hour yet? Are we clear of Potions?
J Padfoot you idiot! It's been thirty seconds!
R Way to go Padfoot...
C WHAT?
L WHAT?
SN NO! HE'S ALIVE?
S No, I'm dead...
C GET OUT NOW!
J No! He's dead, those are just reflexes! And... gas escaping!
C This is low you two, even for Marauders!
L She has a point... you scared me!
S Aww, Evans would miss me if I took the ghost train to hellsville!
L Thats one way of putting it...
S Aww, I'm touched!
R That is rather unexpected...
J She'd miss me more!
C Thats enough! I see now that you two need more counseling than I thought!
J Please don't say it...
S Don't... my fragile heart can't take these words...
R You two have done it now...
SN No... no... no!!
C I WILL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK!
J, S, R, L, SN NOOOOOOOOO!
S Now that you mention it... I am feeling a little light headed...
C You'll live, OUT!
S But I-
C OUT!
J C'mon mate.
S Well can I go die in front of another teacher? I don't feel like going to Potions today...
R What about Flitwick?
J Nahh, did it last week.
S Minnie?
R Perfect!
C GET OUT!
L She gets worse every week...
And there you go!
Sorry for the wait...
R&R!
Emmi x