I realise it's been a while, and I apologise!
I hope you enjoy chapter six though!
Quick reminders;;
J James Potter
S Sirius Black
R Remus Lupin
C Patricia Rosse (Counselor)
L Lily Evans
C Good morning Marauders, welcome to session six of counseling. How has school treated you this week?
J Pst, Pads!
S Eh?
J Is Pat acting a little... too nice to you?
S Don't look at me, she's being nice to you!
J No I mean, does she seem a little... happier than normal?
S Oh, hmm...
C Don't whisper in here please! It's rude. Professor McGonagall has given me permission to deduct house points after your little... episode last week! So don't make me take points because I really don't want to!
S Yeah right
J Padfoot I don't think she was joking...
S Sure she was, she was bluffing Prongs! Anyone can see- What are you writing Patty?
C I'm taking notes of how many points you've lost so far this session, Mr Black.
J, S How many?
C A few. Now, are we going to cooperate today?
S I-
R Yes Counselor, we are.
S Thanks a lot Moony.
J Shut up Pads, she's writing again!
R Both of you shut up! The longer we talk, the longer she writes!
S That's a pretty bad way of counseling people...
J Sirius stop talking!
R James you're talking!
S Moony shush she's writing!
J Sirius!
R James!
S Dumbledore!
J ...
R ...
C ...
S What? Oh right, sorry. Remus!
R Shut up Sirius!
J Moony, you hypocrite!!
R You're one to talk!
S Hey, leave James alone!
J I can defend myself!
R You two are losing all the points we've earned all year, IN ONE MINUTE!
S If talking loses points, I wonder what yelling does MOONY! Jees!
J Maybe if you stop talking Pat will tell us!
S I am so sick of you calling this poor defenseless woman PAT!
C ...
J ...
S HER NAME IS PATTY!
J PAT!
S PA-
R Oh no you don't! Both of you sit down! She still hasn't stopped writing!
J Maybe Pat will stop writing when Padfoot shuts his barking mouth! Get it Pads? Hehe...
S Oh no, whatever you're laughing about... I'm still angry at you! And 'barking?' You could have come up with a better word than- than... OH WAIT I JUST GOT IT! Barking... hahaha!
R You two have issues.
S Shush Moony, she's still writing!
R Don't shush me-
J Shush!
C You're all... finished then-?
S Shush Patty I'm writing!
C Excuse me?
R Sirius, where did you get that paper and quill from?
S Found them.
J Nice!
R Great, she's writing again! Well done you two.
S Thanks.
J He was being sarcastic!
S Oh... well sarcasm isn't very healthy Moony, where's a counselor when you need one?
C ...
S Oh thank god! Patty, you must help this poor boy, he's having a sarcasm over load!
R Shut up!
S It was just a joke...
R Not because of that! Shut up because she's still writing!
J Moony has a point, we're taking this too far.
S YOU'RE TAKING THIS TOO FAR!
R Sirius!
S Shush Moony, she's writing!
R WHAT?
S Hurts, doesn't it?
R You're such a two year old
S Which makes you a two year old with a tonne of books.
J Nice!
S Thanks
R Both of you shut up!
S Okay mum, have you seen my friend Moony? I think he tripped and fell up his own butt.
R Hey Sirius, why don't you try and prove me wrong about you being a two year old, instead of proving me right!
J Butt... hehe
S Speaking of butts, wheres Snivellus today?
J Maybe he died!
S Don't say that! My heart couldn't take it if I saw him tomorow... what a let down. It's not nice to get someone's hopes up like that Prongs!
J Sorry
S S'allright. Hey Patty may I borrow your pen?
C No.
S Why?
C Because I'm busy deducting points!
J Why don't you just say '10 points from Gryffindor?' Why do you have to write it down?
C Because I'm not a professor. I need to keep a tally of the points taken, then give them to Professor McGonagall or they won't... work...
J, S, R ...
C Don't get any ideas!
J ... What? Oh, no! Not at all...
S Us...? Ideas? Well I'm appauled.
R That makes two of us. Pads, what is that smell?
S Perfume...
J I thought I smelled something... wait, what??
R Perfume!?
S What? What's wrong?
R Again... PERFUME?!
S Yeah...
J Erm... mind if we ask, why?
S It's 'Fantasy' by Brittany Spears
J Wha-?
R Not who! WHY?
S Alright, I'll let you in on a secret men... plus Moony-
R I-
S Women happen to be attracted to the scents of other women! I'm a genius!
J Really? I would have guessed you were some sparkling fairy covered in peach juice by the way you smell!
S Your mind says sparking fairy, mine says chick-magnet. Feeling okay there Prongs? Don't worry, these are natural thoughts.
J Oh shut up!
R Erm... guys?
S And here I was thinking Moony was the one in need of counseling, don't worry Prongs, this lady can help you.
J And my foot down your throat can help you!
S How would that help me?
J Well... it would help me feel better!
S Selfish...
J Perfume chromer!
S Evans harasser!
J Hypocrite!
S You can't even spell hypocrite!
J You don't even know what a hypocrite is!
S That is so hypocritical of you...
J I knew you'd say that
S I knew you'd say that!
J No you didn't!
S Four eyes!
J Pat lover!
S Pete lover!
J Skeeze!
S Quidditch wannabe!
J Thong wearer!
S Bed wetter... in first year!
J Bed wetter! In second year!
S Go eat a quaffle!
J Go hump Snivellus' leg!
S Why you little-
L ENOUGH! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS HOUSE-POINT-COUNTING TEST IS TEARING US APART!?
J ...
C ...
S ...
R ...
S Calm down Evans!
J Yeah Lils, we were just kidding around!
R Lily... how long have you been in here for?
L This whole time!
R Oh
J Right
S Well...
L So... Sirius really wet the bed in second year?
J YES!
S NO!
J Don't deny it! You made me lie to Minnie and pretend it was tea!
R I remember that...
J P-P-Professor... I spilt m-my tea in Sirius's b-b-bed! Waaaahh!
S I hate my life...
C THAT'S IT! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! I'M OUT OF HERE!
J Why? What did we do?
C I've been so patient with you four!
S And you crack because I said I hate my life?
R That's not very reasonable...
L Agreed
S Agreed
L Shut up!
S Sorry...
J At least we're done with counseling!
C I will see you all-
S LA LA LA LA! IT DOESN'T COUNT IF I DON'T HEAR YOU SAY IT!
J LA LA LA!
R Very well... LA LA LA!
S Ouch Remus!
C NEXT WEEK!
J, S, R, L NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
S Hah! Jokes on Patty! She left the house point sheet here!
J I hate you Padfoot
R Me too
L Me too
S Oh come on guys!
J Another week!
S To answer your question... yeah, Patty does seem to be in a better mood today!
J SHUT UP!
S Don't worry, Prongs! She's gone, we don't need to worry about losing anymore points!
R Wow... we lost over three hundred points...
S Well... a better mood than last week...
L Mmm... what's that lovely smell?
R Sirius, run.
S Why?
J I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Ta daaaa! Let me know how I did!
Any and all feedback is welcome!