Ch.3 Tick Tock

I was on a plane heading for Port Angeles. I stared at the window trying to make the pain go away. For the hundredth time I looked down and was surprised to not see a gapping wound in my stomach. I felt like I had been cut open, had my parents grabbed from me, and now all that was left was a gapping wound. I felt like I was going to faint from the pain of it. Every time I thought of them it was like another dagger cutting through my flesh. I tried not to think about them but that was impossible. I tried to distract myself by looking around at my surroundings.

I was sitting next to a man who looked like he was in his twenties. He had long brown hair that was falling into his face as he read. I could not tell what it was because I could not see the cover but the type was tiny and he had only about a chapter until he finished the book. He had wire-rimmed glasses that were slipping down his nose and bright blue eyes. Eyes that looked exactly like my father's. No. No. Don't think about that.

He was wearing a brown coat that reached his feet. It wasn't buttoned up and it ad to giant pockets. His shirt was a plain navy blue polo. It had a stain on the lower right side of his shirt. It looked like he spilled Coke or Dr. Pepper on himself and hadn't gotten it to the wash quick enough. He was wearing jeans that were all crinkled. They stopped to show brown dirty boots that looked like the ones my father used to wear. No! I will not think about that.

I focused on a girl across the isle instead. She had brown ringlets with tan skin and no freckles. She had lots of make-up on, lipstick, mascara ect. Her shirt was plain white underneath a dark pink jacket that was buttoned only one button at the top. She also had dark skinny jeans and black high heels. Her black purse were on the seat next to her and her long nails were painted a dark red. The same red nail polish that my mother wears. Used to wear. No. No. No. This is not working.

Was it just me or were the walls getting closer? I was having trouble breathing. It was really claustrophobic in here. I opened the magazine that was sticking out of the back pocket. The rest of the flight I perused the magazine and every time I my thoughts strayed towards my parents I would hit my self on the head with my magazine.

That is until people started staring. After that I got the idea that randomly hitting myself on the head was not a good idea. I sighed and reframed from hitting myself after that. I only slipped a couple of times. Maybe I was going insane. I hadn't thought of that before. Hmmm. Interesting.

How do people know they are going insane? It usually happens after something big. Check. You usually develop phobias. Check. I can't stand the ticking of clocks. I had thrown my watch away earlier today. People give you strange looks when you think your doing something perfectly normal. Check, I was still getting stares from people on the plane. You start hallucinating. Not yet actually.

"Put on your seat belts the plane will landing in ten minutes." What a relief. I was starting to get really hot. Weird. Maybe I really was going insane. I waited for the plane to land. Finally it did. I pushed my way through the hustle and bustle towards the baggage claim. My baby blue luggage was waiting for me I grabbed it and saw Ms. Newton, my aunt. I walked over to her wheeling my rolling suitcase and carrying the other two. She quickly grabbed a suitcase to my relief.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hi Amanda! How have you been?" she asked.

"Good," I replied not sure if she meant before or after the accident.

"Your starting Forks high in a week."

"Oh," I tried to sound happy but I didn't succeed.

"I thought you would want a while to settle in," she explained.

"No. No. It's perfectly fine."

"Okay, here's my car." I saw a small four-seat car. We climbed in and Ms. Newton continued to try to make conversation.

"Mike's off to collage so you can sleep in his room. He doesn't visit often." I grunted. Staying in my cousin's room didn't sound that great to tell you the truth. I didn't really know him that well. I sighed and closed my eyes tuning out the sound of my aunt's voice. She didn't even notice she just kept on talking. We stayed like this until the car rolled to a stop and I was jerked out of my stupor. I was looking at my aunt's house. Hip hip hurray. I just wanted to take a nap.

I walked inside the small green house that looked like every other one on the block. I would have to come up with a trick to recognize it. I lugged my suitcases through the house until I found Mike's room.

Mike's room was a mess. Boxers here, t-shirts there. And you know what? It reeked. I caught a glimpse of the blue walls and the blue bed covers; he must have liked blue, when I turned away to see Ms. Newton.

"You know, on second thought, I think you've better sleep in the living room for a few days until I can tidy it up."

I quickly agreed with her and set my suitcases in the living room. I sighed and unrolled the sleeping bag that was perched on my rolling suitcase. I brought it just in case. I stuck it on the over stuffed grey couch, layed down, and stared at the ceiling. It was white. Period. No comment. Just blank.

But not for long, soon shapes started forming. I saw a ghastly face, black eyes and a sneer on its lips. The black mist that made it, dissolved and I was looking at the white ceiling. Hallucinating. Check. Was that a sign or just a hallucination? Am I really going crazy? I never thought I'd see the day that I doubted my sanity. I got up, I couldn't stand sitting still, and left. I walked out the door with no idea where I was going.

I soon realized this was a tiny town. I walked right into town and started browsing the few stores. First, I passed a grocery store. I walked in and looked around. They always have a rack with magazines. Not in this store. I walked out. And in and out of the next store. And in and out of the one after that. I kept walking in and out, in and out, in and out. I don't even remember what the stores were. What I do remember though, is seeing a group of huge men. They looked all about twenty years old. They all had russet skin and short hair and one was leaning on a motorcycle.

One of them punched the one with the motorcycle on the shoulder, "Come on Embry it'll be fun."

"Paul, I've," Embry paused, "Got too… study!" It was obvious he was lying.

"Embry come on!" one shouted.

"Yeah Em."

"You never hang out any more."

"Okay okay I'll come!" Embry shout in defeat. He got on his motorcycle and left.

The others just watched him go and started loping down the street. I realized I should be getting home so I started to retrace my footsteps. I watched the clouds drift by wondering if it were going to rain soon. As if on cue, it started pouring. I didn't notice the needles of icy cold poking my skin. I wasn't aware of my surroundings. I didn't remember giving my feet the command to walk but walk they did. I felt like I was enveloped in a blanket where nothing could harm me. I went straight to my aunts house. No, I went straight to my house. I live there now. I should be calling it home. Home. It sounds too weird.

When I walk through the door Ms. Newton rushed over to me.

"Where have you been? I've been so worried."

"I just took a walk."

"Oh well, next time tell me where you're going r leave me a note. Anyway, dinners ready."

I nodded and sat down. I ate my soup in silence. I left in silence. I went to the living room in silence. Layed down on the couch and fell asleep instantly. I can't tell you if I slept in silence but I've never been told I talked in my sleep so I doubt that.

A good thing and bad thing happen to me that night. I'll tell you the good first. I didn't have a nightmare, I didn't dream at all. The bad news? I threw the clock on the mantle out the window. I don't remember doing it, but I found out the next day right after I was startled out of my dreamless sleep by a "Amanda!"

Told you I couldn't stand the ticking of clocks.