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Chapter 6: Usopp (Sandry)

"WAHEEEE!!!" Usopp practically catapulted backwards in surprise. "Wh-wh-who are you!?" he stammered out the demand, already clutching his mallet defensively.

The brunette woman he addressed—who had somehow managed to enter his workshop without his noticing while he worked on making more explosive pellets, and who was certainly NOT a crew member—just smothered a laugh with one hand. "Call me Sandry." she said, pushing up her glasses with one finger.

"How did you get in here?" Usopp asked warily, still clutching his hammer. She didn't look threatening—frizzy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, a little on the plump side, an amused smile on her face—but then again, looks could be deceiving. He should know.

"Creative license." she replied, smile getting wider. "So long as I don't overtly breach the fourth wall, I can temporarily use the theory of Dimensional Reflection to switch a specific volume of material with my body through a bookworm-hole into your existentiality."

"Uh… come again?" Usopp was in that weird state where intellectual curiosity warred with caution. Usually, caution won big time. But this time… well, she really didn't seem dangerous, and this was interesting.

A wry twist to her mouth appeared, and she crouched down across from him, propping her chin on one hand. "Basically, I can be here because you don't know who I really am or what my relationship to you is. If you knew, I wouldn't be able to switch places with the air in your workshop to appear here."

"Okaaaay…" Usopp put down the hammer, slowly, but left it within arm's reach. "So why are you here?"

"A few reasons." Sandry said. "Firstly, I wanted you to know that I think you're a lot braver and more awesome than you give yourself credit for. And don't give me the 'Captain Usopp' act. I know you're not really as confident inside as you act. Trust me." Her wry smile took on a slightly bitter edge. "I know what it's like trying to pretend you're special when you really don't think you're any good at all."

Usopp's mouth opened and closed a few times, as he tried to formulate a reply. Nothing came out, though. He had no reply.

"Secondly, I wanted to ask how you wear overalls without a shirt. I know from experience that that is extremely uncomfortable." Sandry continued blithely.

That, Usopp could respond to. "You're a girl. It's not as big a deal for men."

Sandry blinked and looked down at her chest. "Point. It still has to be uncomfortable, though."

"I'm used to it." Usopp shrugged.

"Right. Third reason." Sandry moved on. "I want to play with your hair."

A blank stare. "…what?"

"It looks curly and bouncy." Sandry explained. "I want to play with it."

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely." Sandry said clearly. "Will you let me?"

"Uh… no." Usopp said flatly. "That is entirely too creepy."

"Please?" Sandry asked again, "I really want to."

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"…please?" Sandry fell back on the last resort of all women who don't get their way. The Puppy Dog Pout.

"Nnggh…" Usopp groaned. Of all the guys in the crew, only Zoro was immune to the Puppy Dog Pout. And that was because, as Sanji had said, he was a romantically retarded bastard. "…fine…"

A squeal was Sandry's only audible reaction, before she lunged forward and hugged him.

"Hiiiii!!!!" Usopp yelped and tried to scramble away but, being already backed into a wall, failed utterly.

Sandry grabbed his head and dug her fingers into his thick, curly black hair. "Heeheehee! It's so springy!" she giggled madly. "I love it!"

"O-oi!" Usopp protested. Sure, her hug had been… well, really comfortable, but still, she was way too close for comfort.

"So bouncy!" Sandry giggled, and tugged a lock downward, releasing it to let it spring up again. "Heeheeee!"

"Oi! Get off already!"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Sandry got off of him and stood up, dusting off her knees. "Don't ever cut your hair short, 'kay? It's your best feature."

"Uh, right…" Usopp muttered, rubbing a hand over his head awkwardly. "Now why don't you… gebeh?" He blinked and stared at where she'd just been. She was gone without a trace.

*Usopp makes some of the weirdest noises in the entire show, doesn't he? And yes, I really do think his hair is his best feature. It's so… so bouncy! And the rest of his features aren't especially good, anyway.