I love revieeews. they make me happy insiiiide! haha I really, really love the feedback - having readers motivates me to write and reviews let me know that people actually like my story - so, thank you so much! :D

Also, I changed the title of the story because, well, the title I had before always irked me - i really hated it. And I recently downloaded Kelly Clarkson's new CD, "All I Ever Wanted", and the song "Impossible" seemed to really suit Zooey, her predicament and her feelings (romantic and otherwise) in the story. So, yeah. NEW TITLE, SAME STORY! haha

During the days, I found it very easy to distract myself - to keep my mind away from the negative things that I knew I really, probably should have been considering (only, I never really wanted to). Peter continued to train with Oreius, and Lucy and I would still go at the same time each day to watch them. Susan took an extreme dislike to the idea of Peter's 'one time combat training' turning in to a daily lesson. I think it just frightened her to think of Peter, someday, having to use the skills he was acquiring. Truth be told, it frightened me, as well - I think it frightened everyone but Peter - but, eventually, I decided that I would rather he learned now and knew what he was doing as opposed to having him run in to a battle naive and inexperienced. Albeit, the experience in his lessons was much different than having real battle experiences, it was better than having no knowledge what-so-ever. And so, I encouraged him and watched as he grew in to a relatively skilled fighter - at least, I thought so.

At other times, usually after training, as that took place in the mornings, the four of us and whoever else wanted to join in would play games with Lucy - I learned that she was particularly fond of hide and seek. With the mountains and trees surrounding the camp, the hiding possibilities were endless, so, naturally, we had to lay down a few rules and a boundary regarding how far we were allowed to wander to find places to hide.

But when night fell over Narnia, and everyone else was fast asleep, I was left alone with my thoughts - and true, deep, satisfactory sleep eluded me. The first night, I simply laid awake in my bed in Aslan's tent, listening to the deep, even breathing of the Great Lion, hoping beyond hope that sleep would come eventually to save me from my racing mind - but, at the same time, I was afraid that sleep would bring nightmares. And so, I laid awake that first night for hours on end, and only when the sun was creeping over the horizon did I fall in to a light, dreamless sleep.

It was the next night that I discovered that Peter, as well, seemed to be having trouble sleeping. He already understood why I would have trouble finding rest, and I thought, for the most part, that I, too, understood his reasons: He was worried about his brother, about the weight of his own very important Narnian destiny - much like I was, even though our two destinies couldn't have been further from each other in their nature. His was something wonderful, promising, and powerful in a positive, beautiful way. He could save lives.

Mine could never be so lovely.

We knew each other well enough by now to know that neither one of us wanted to discuss these problems. We shared the common desire to hide away the ailing fears until it was absolutely necessary to face them. It was always much nicer to find something better to discuss, anyway.

It became a little routine for us, over the next couple of nights. I'd come to expect that, at some point in the night, Peter would emerge from his tent, only half awake - but awake none-the-less - to join me in my insomnia. We took to light hearted games and discussions to pass the time and ease our troubled minds.

On this particular night, we laid back on the soft earth, each of us laying in opposite directions with our heads meeting in the center, next to one another. I admired the night sky, trying to find constellations. I was failing miserably.

"Do you think the sky is different here?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." I paused, trying to think of the right way to explain my question, "I've been looking for constellations from our world - but I can't find any here."

"Well, it is a different world." He reminded me. "So, yes, the sky is probably different, too."

"Maybe." I turned my head to look at him - his eyes were closed. "Are you tired?"

He shook his head, "No, I'm alright."

"You look tired."

"Zooey," He opened one eye and peered over at me, "I'm fine."

"You don't have to stay up if you are tired -"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

I laughed, swinging an arm around to whack him playfully in the gut, "Don't be stupid."

He laughed with me, clutching his stomach where I'd hit him, "Why the violence? Honestly, was that really necessary?"

"Absolutely." I narrowed my eyes at him warningly, "You better not fall asleep on me."

"I won't, I swear." He looked back up at the night sky, "I'd be too worried about having you beat me to death while I slept."

I feigned offense, "You're breaking my heart - where's the trust, Peter?"

"You've scared it away with your aggressive tendencies." He explained shortly, glancing over at me with a grin. Of the three Pevensie's that I had gotten to know, I got along with Peter best. Perhaps it was because we were, more or less, the same age - although, Susan was only a year younger than I was - or perhaps it was something entirely different. I adored Lucy - but she was much too young to entirely comprehend a lot of my sarcastic humor and stupid jokes, even considering the fact that she was a whole hell of a lot smarter than most other kids her age that I'd met. Susan...I'd only began to delve in to the mystery that was Susan. I liked her well enough, but, honestly, I wasn't completely certain that I would ever understand her. She was intelligent, passionate, and entirely too complex for me to feel one-hundred percent comfortable to be myself with her.

Pete was simple.

...Okay, perhaps simple was the wrong word to use.

Peter was never ashamed to just be Peter, and, being in the company of someone so comfortable and confident in their own skin, in turn, made it easier for me to feel comfortable while with him. He was a pleasant balance where, when needed, he could be completely mature and in other moments, playful and childish.

I wondered why there were no guys like Pete in my world - in the future.

For the sake of my people, you will not remain in Narnia...

You will leave without question...

My current train of thought brought back the memories of my talk with Aslan. I sighed sadly. "I don't want to go home." I muttered.

Peter propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at me. His brow was furrowed in confusion and, had I cared, I would have felt bad about being a buzz kill. "Ever?"

I shook my head. "Never." I hissed the word through gritted teeth. I still hadn't told Peter what Aslan had told me. The only other person that knew was Susan, and I was grateful that she had kept what I told her between us.

I was afraid to tell Peter. I didn't want his opinion of me to change. We got along so well now, everything was so easy between us. I was worried that, if he knew about me, he might not be so willing to sit alone with me. He might be disgusted by my past and even more repulsed by the possibilities that may be a part of my future.

I couldn't bear that.

The silence that followed my reply was filled with his hesitation. He was still looking down at me while I stared blankly up at the stars.

"Why not?" He finally asked, officially crossing the line that we had drawn signifying which topics of conversation would not be brought up.

It was my turn to hesitate while I tried to control the panic that rose within me. I carefully side-stepped the full explanation: "There's nothing for me there - no reason to go back. Not now, anyway."

"And what, if I may ask, is there for you here?"

I swallowed with some difficulty. It was a good question and the answer that popped in to my mind made my heart flutter in my chest in the most unnatural and uncomfortable way. I frowned, my gaze moving to where his face hovered above me, "Uhm -"

"What about your family? Don't you miss them?"

"I did."

"What changed?"

I laughed bitterly, bringing my hands up to cover my face while I groaned, "Everything, Peter. It's, like, super complicated. Long story short: turns out my Mother is basically a psychopath. I'm practically bionic - minus the machinery."

"You've lost me, I'm afraid." He gently pulled my hands away from my face. I hadn't realised I was crying. "We don't have to talk about it, you know."

"I want to tell you everything, Peter - really, I do, I just -"

He smiled sadly in understanding, but I could see disappointment in his features, as well, "It's alright."

I bit my tongue. I desperately wanted to give him some sort of explanation, but every one that came to my mind just seemed so...melodramatic. "What about you - are you eager to get home?"

"There isn't really much of a 'home' at the moment."

I looked over at him, momentarily confused. Then the realization dawned and I sat up next to him, "Oh, shit. Sorry. I forgot." I flinched, remembering how he'd told me during one of our previous nights together about the London bombings and how he and his siblings had been sent to live out in the country - away from all of that.

"It's alright." He grinned, shrugging, "So...to answer your question -"

"You don't have to -"

He held up a hand, a sign for me to shut up, "Must you always interrupt me?" He teased.

I smirked, "Sorry."

"As I was saying: No, I'm not really eager to go back. Initially, I thought all I'd want is to get Ed back, and go home, but now..." He flopped back on to the ground, crossing his arms behind his head, "Now, I kind of like it here. Once all this White Witch business is dealt with, I think it would be nice to be able to stay here for a while. Lu loves it here, anyway - it'd break her heart to have to leave straight away."

"Hmm." I tucked my knees up to my chest. "It'll be sad to have to say goodbye to all this." I agreed.

"Hopefully, that won't be for a while, right?"

I forced a smile, "Right." It would be sooner for me than it would be for him, I imagined. But he didn't have to know that.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I awoke the next morning with a heavy heart. Unfortunately, last night hadn't done anything to keep my mind off of my problems. Not to mention, I still felt horribly guilty for keeping it all a secret from Peter. I didn't like keeping secrets from people, and he of all people deserved to know that I could, potentially, be a danger to him and his siblings. I just hadn't quite figured out how to approach that subject with him without making our friendship completely awkward. "Hey, so, guess what? I was created for the sole purpose of killing you guys! Sweet, right? Wanna hang out again later?"

Yeah, not the greatest ice breaker.

I frowned when I saw that only two Pevensies were waiting for me at our usual spot where we all met to have breakfast, "Where's Peter?"

"Aslan wanted to speak with him." Lucy chirped, scooting over and patting the ground next to her.

I sat down, suddenly nervous, "About what?" Was he telling him about me? He wouldn't do that, would he?

That's a little conceited, don't you think? Not everything is about you - he has his own major prophecy to deal with! Right. That made sense. Still, I couldn't help but worry.

"Did you sleep any better last night?" Susan asked as we ate. My insomnia was no secret, so, I wasn't surprised when she asked about it.

I told her I hadn't and went back to eating in silence as I listened to Lucy tell Susan and I about the dream she'd had last night in which she was a Narnian faun. I wished I could have nice, fun, light hearted dreams like that.

Once we'd finished with our food, Lucy suggested that we go down the stream to wash up.

"I like that dress best on you, Zooey." Lucy commented while we walked.

I looked down at the dress - it really wasn't anything spectacular. Actually, I think that was why I, too, liked this one best. It was plain, a light blue-ish grey color with long sleeves and a white waistline and hem. I blushed, "Thanks."

"It suits you." She continued.

I chuckled, "I thought so, too." I played with the skirt, "I'm not really a details and frills kind of girl."

Lucy laughed, "No, I suppose not."

I slipped off my shoes as we reached the stream, bending down and washing my hands before splashing some of the cool water on my face. I sat back on the bank with my feet dangling in the water.

"Mother would have liked these dresses." Susan spoke, quietly, glancing over at Lucy.

I looked down in to my lap. Clearly, Susan didn't share Peter's sentiment about wanting to stay in Narnia. I could hear it in her voice: She was homesick.

"We should bring her back a whole trunk load when we go home!" Lucy suggested excitedly.

"If we go home..." My eyes darted in Susan's direction and she caught the look of surprise in my eyes. I was shocked that she would say something like that with Lucy here - she was usually so careful with her words. She sighed, "I'm sorry I'm like that..."

Lucy looked down sadly to where her hands were fiddling with her own skirt. I tried not to look at the pair of them. I felt like I was intruding on a sisterly bonding moment and it made me very uncomfortable.

"We used to have fun, remember?" I heard Susan say.

"Yes, but then you got boring." I could tell from her voice that Lucy was smiling. I still didn't dare look up.

"Oh, really?"

I knew that tone of voice too well. I never liked that tone. That tone meant something was about to go down, and when I saw Susan dip her hand in the stream, my eyes widened. I was right in the line of fire - between two adversaries, "Susan, don't!"

I shrieked as she splashed a handful of water over my head, trying to get Lucy, but, instead, managing to soak me in the attempt.

"I'm sorry, Zooey!"

"Oh, it's on." I stood up and waded out in to the water, "Lucy, you get her from the left! I'll go right!"

Lucy giggled excitedly, "Okay!"

"No fair - this isn't a team game!" Susan shouted, trying to find a place to hide while Lucy and I threw water in her direction.

Eventually, we were all completely soaked and all concern for staying dry went out the window. Susan stopped trying to hide and everyone was on the attack. My allegiance with Lucy was lost somewhere in the crossfire and it just became a free for all of laughing and splashing in whatever direction we so pleased.

"Ow - time out! Water in my eye!" I called, raising my hands in surrender.

"Come on, Lu, let's get you dried off." Susan suggested, still trying to calm her giggling.

I waded back out of the stream and waited while Susan went to grab the towel off of the branch that she had hung it over when we'd first arrived. However, when she pulled the towel down, the three of us screamed when a snarling wolf was revealed behind it.

"Run!" Susan yelled.

I grabbed Lucy's hand and started off through the trees, Susan right behind us. We knew that there was no way we could outrun a pack of wolves, so, we gave up trying to run and instead started searching for a place to hide.

"We could climb!" Lucy suggested.

"Susan, your horn!" I reminded her as I helped Lucy up in to the tree in front of us. Susan and I started to climb up after her, but I was stopped by a tearing pain in the back of my ankle. I screamed as I was pulled to the ground.

"Zooey!" Susan shrieked.

"Blow the damn horn!" I yelled, kicking the wolf off of my leg. It yelped, releasing me. I tried to get to my feet, crying out at the pain. There's no way I can climb that tree...

I shrieked as I, once again, felt the excruciating sensation of the animal's teeth sinking in to my leg. I kicked and screamed and fought with all my might as the wolf dragged me in to the trees. I clawed at the soft earth, grabbing tree roots and digging my fingers in to the soil until my hands were raw and bloody, desperately trying to get a grip on something - anything - to keep from being taken away from Susan and Lucy. I could hear the girls calling my name, but I was loosing them. I cried as I was dragged further and further away from them, the pain almost unbearable. I began to feel light headed - whether it was from blood loss, or simply due to amount of pain I was in, I didn't know - but I knew I was going to pass out. My struggles became less frantic, until I was only weakly pawing at the earth, reaching back the way I'd come. I couldn't go, I didn't want to go. I knew where the wolves would take me. I couldn't go to Her...

No...

I couldn't see Susan or Lucy anymore, but, through the haze and fog that was beginning to fill my mind, I could have sworn I heard a male voice calling my name...

grr

the wolf bit refused to come out the way I wanted it to! lmao

i really wanted to keep going with this chapter! but I knew if I did, then I couldn't have been able to stop and it's one in the morning right now and I have to study for finals and all that jazz, so, I forced myself to stop! lol

please review! let me know what you thiiink