Chapter One: The Annoyance in the Ice Cube

Sokka: *in boat* SAILSAILSAILSAILSAILSAI—LE GASP!!! A GIANT ICE CUBE!
Katara: OMG SOKKA! How can you be so sexist???

Sokka: …?

Katara: Grrr! Water bending anger—YIP YIP!!!

Ice Cube: *rumble*

Ice Cube!Voice: HEEEEEY YAAAALL!!

Katara/Sokka: wtf?

Aang: *emerging from ice cube* what is all this? How did I get to polar!land? I was in the Air Temple, like, a flashback ago! ZOMG! Pretty girl! Preeeeeetty! Must use El Creeptastic! Stare.

Katara:? What, now some El Creepy kid is gonna stare at me all episode? WHO WROTE THIS? I DEMAND A RE-FUND!

Mike & Bryan: That would be us. We wrote it.

Sokka: *Protective! Big brother mode* GRR. ME DON'T LIKE PUNY AVATAR. *sniffs air* SMELLS LIKE FIRE NATION. OUT FREAK-O OR WE WILL USE FORCE!

Katara: *whispering* Maybe you shouldn't tell him that our army is a handful of three-year olds.

Sokka: I meant THE force. But good idea.

Aang: Do you guys want a ride? APPA! APPA! How did I misplace a 5,000 foot flying bison? Wow, no wonder I don't get the girl until the last book.

Author: Hey! You read ahead!

Aang: No shit, Sherlock.

Author: *finger moving towards delete button*

Aang: Nonononono! Please! I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me, master author of Doom-y Awesomeness!

Author: I've trained you so well.

Katara: Ya. Lovely. *clears throat* Sure! We'd looooove a ride on your, erm, misplaced bison. *coughidiotcough*

Aang: *coughyourmomcough*

Sokka: You BASTARD! MY MOM DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR FIRE NATION SCUM!
Aang: Dude, chill. I'm not even fire nation and ah-ah-ACHOOOOOOOOO! *fly*

Sokka: wow. That was pretty damn cool.

Zuko: ZOMG! UNCLE! UN-CLE! YO, FATSO WHOM I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR WHATSOEVER! GET IN HERE!

Uncle Iroh: Damn. And I'm supposed to like this brat. Get my agent on the phone.

Zuko: UNCLE THERE IS LIGHT! IT'S THE AVATAR!

Uncle Iroh: You're gonna make my tea steep for too long! What do you have to say for yourself?

Zuko: …

Uncle Iroh: *sigh* Zuko, are you sure it's the Avatar? I mean, you made that mistake with the beaming light that other time when it was really just—

Zuko: UNCLE! This is nothing like the bat signal incident! I was young and foolish then!

Uncle Iroh: That was yesterday.

Aang: Wanna go penguin sledding with me?

Katara: ?

Aang: I don't know. I don't write the crap in this script.

Mike & Bryan: Guilty.

Katara: SO where be your bison?

Aang: You know, I forgot. I think he was scheduled to get his toenails painted hot pink today.

Sokka: *coughgaycough*

Katara: *coughtimestwocough*

Appa: *flying in with hot pink toenails* coughyourmomcough

Katara & Sokka: *tearbend*

Aang: *Facepalm*

Sokka: HEY! Facepalms are MY thing! It's like my catchphrase, dammit!

Appa: Whatever, bitches. Do you want a ride?

Katara: oooh. Ya. Let's go on the big fuzzy flying creature that we don't know that belongs to someone we met 2 minutes ago. Cuz that be makin' sense.

Sokka: Okay, who the fuck gave katara crack?!

Momo: Guilty.

Mike & Bryan: (whispering) Momo! Get out. You don't come until the next episode.

Momo: You, my friend are just a few plums short of a fruit pie. *poof*

Sokka: Hey, where did Momo go?

Katara: I don't know. But lez fli on da big fuzz-fuzz.

Sokka: *Facepalm*

Aang: Okay! Appa, yip yip!
Appa: Naw, I don't wanna fly these bitches around. What do I look like, a sky bison?

Sokka: uh…

Aang: C'mon Appa. We gotta pretend to like these people…Mike, Bryan, and Author all have access to a backspace key.

Appa: *grumble* fine. *FLYFLYFLYFLYFLYFLYFLY* Ooooo, shit. It's been awhile. *yawn* whatev. *SWIMSWIMSWIMSWIMSWIM*

Sokka: Ha! I knew he couldn't fly.

Appa: STFU! I can too!

Sokka: uh-huh. Suuuuuure.

Appa: coughbitchcough.

Sokka: coughyourmomcough.

Aang: *EL Creepy smile*

Katara: Uh…why are you smiling at me?

Aang: Oh, I was smiling?

Katara: Yeah, you kinda were. Dork. So, what happened to the Avatar?

Aang: Omigod. I swear, these people get stupider by the minute.

Sokka: Loser. You can't even get your bison to fly.

Aang: Well, I can fly.

Katara: For real for realz?

Aang: Ya. *fly*

Katara: *Clapping hands* WEEEEEE!

Aang: *crashes into watch tower*

Sokka: That's it, you gotta go.

Aang: Lol! Look little water tribe small peeps! My tongue is now stuck to my staff. LA POOF!

WaterTribeKid: lol. All part of my genius plan. *laughs manically*

Zuko: *firebending*

Zuko's Crew: *pwns Zuko*

Zuko: GRRRR!

Uncle: Maybe you should try some calming tea.

Zuko: I DON'T WANT ANY TEA!!!

Zuko's Crew: Look! Your honor!

Zuko: *turns around* WHERE?!

Zuko's Crew: *goes back to pwning*

Sokka: Now men, it's important that you show no fear when you face a Firebender. The Water Tribe: We fight to the last men standing. For without courage, how can we call ourselves men?

Lil'WaterTribeBoyOCuteness: I GOTTA PEE!

Sokka: NO. FUCKING. POTTY BREAKS!

Aang: *pops head in* PENGUIN!

Penguin: NOOOO! NOT THE ARROW HEADED STALKER! AHHHHH!

Aang: Damn penguin. KATARA!

Katara: Wtf?

Aang: Can you help me? This dumb-ass penguin keeps running away!

Katara: *pelts Aang with fish*

Aang: *is knocked out and laying face-down in the snow*

Penguins: *swarm*

Aang: *Suddenly awakens* OOOOOOH! Fire Nation ship! Must. Set. Off. Booby. Traps.

Katara: Aw geez. Don't tough the ship.

Aang: Katara! We gotta go into the ship. It's like sex with Michael Jackson; you can kick an scream all you want but it's gonna happen.

Katara: Oh, when you put it that way…

BoobyTrap: *LA KA-POW!!!*

Zuko: HAHA! The Avatar! I have spent 3 years of my life setting traps around the world so that a short-attention-span-Avatar will set it off and I'll know. Geez, I need a hobby…TO THE SIMS GAMES!

Author: Kk, guys. That's the end of Chapter 1!

Cast: Aww.

Author: C'mon guys. I have no life. I'll be writing again soon enough.