Discs.: I don't own the show nor the characters!

A/N: Okay, this took quite a while and I have to give all the credit to my friend Sasha who mainly wrote this on her own...Have fun reading!

He loves me not

4. Confrontations

As Elle sat down on her couch she started thinking about Hotch - like so many times before. In fact she was thinking about him all the time, no matter what she was doing...But until the last night she'd never even dared to imagine - not even for a second - that these feelings could be mutual...

Sure she tried to convince herself that what had happened meant nothing but nonetheless she kept dreaming. However, it wasn't easy at all - especially considering how Hotch had behaved around her earlier that day.

She hated feeling like this, hated feeling so incredible insecure, so confused and helpless...Elle felt how her tears were threatening to break free and she just hadn't the energy to do anything against it.

But only a few minutes later she was interrupted in her thoughts by the ringing of the door-bell. Reluctantly she got up, wiping her tears away while walking to the door. As she opened the door she stated annoyed :

"What do you want?"

"Did you get my message?" He asked instead of replying.

"Yeah, of course, Hotch...You didn't answer my question..." Elle glared at him for a moment before repeating,

"What do you want?"

"I wanna talk with you..." Hotch trailed of, looking away for few seconds then he asked,

"Can I come in?"

It took Elle quite a while to think about whether she should do what he had asked for. But eventually she let her shoulders hang, surrendering silently, and stepped aside to let him in.

The truth was she just needed him close, she was yearning so damn badly for his proximity, though she would of course deny it if someone - especially if Hotch - ever asked her about it.

Hotch took a look around as he entered the living-room. Then he took a closer look at Elle. He noticed right away her red, puffy eyes and felt immediately terrible.

"You said you wanna talk...Well, why don't ya go ahead and speak your mind?" Elle said, while taking a seat on the couch again, a moment later Hotch followed.

"Listen Elle...I'm sorry for what I said, ok?" He tried to lock eyes with her, but she refused to even look at him, so he went on,

"I know I hurt you pretty much..."

"Let me clarify something - you didn't hurt me, you got that?!" Elle interrupted.

"Then why did you cry?" Hotch asked, while looking straight into her eyes - his sad facial expression giving away in what a deep turmoil he was - and stretching out his left hand to wipe away the final remainings of her tears. But Elle pushed his hand away, stating angrily :

"Don't do that ever again!" She glared at him once more,

"You have nothing to do with why I cried, okay? I'm not hurt - I'm simply damn disappointed..." Elle yelled.

"Why?"

"I used to think you have certain principles you won't break - I thought you respect me, but apparently I was mistaken...That's why I'm disappointed!"

"Listen Elle, I thought I made pretty clear how I feel about you last night...You're right - there are lines I don't wanna overstep, but it's damn hard to stick to my principles while having you around all the time..." Hotch paused though he knew that there was no turning back anymore so he went on,

"I mean, kissing you last night was a mistake, but I just couldn't help it..."

"Unfortunately I'm not feeling the same...And even if I did, I won't consider getting involved with you. After all, you're my supervisor, not to mention that you have a family!" Elle gave him a look which made clear that she meant what she had said pretty serious.

A moment passed before Elle added :

"You should go...You're wife and son are already waiting for you..."

Five minutes later :

After Hotch had left Elle he let out a sigh. Of course he knew that Elle was right, they could never be together...Not that he would consider giving it a try in the first place. He just couldn't risk losing his family and job, and Elle was meaning way too much to him as that he could handle it if it doesn't work between them.

Hotch sighed again, it was pointless to keep thinking about it...

Elle had been very clear about her opinion.

God, he was regretting it so much that he had kissed her in the first place - now he he couldn't hide his true feelings for her anymore, couldn't pretend that she was just a colleague like any other member of his team anymore.

He knew that nothing was going to be the same anymore - and that fact scared him almost as much as his feelings for Elle...

At Hotch's place :

As Hotch entered his house he tried to be quiet so he won't wake Haley or Jack. On the other hand he wished his wife was awake, because he knew that she could distract him from his problems...

In the end he decided to go to see his son first before he got some sleep.

While he was watching Jack sleep Hotch started wondering once more about what he had gotten himself into. It was so damn complicated... After all, he loved Haley, had done so ever since he had first seen her on the stage of the school auditorium back in high school.

But he also felt more and more drawn to Elle. There were even moments when he wished he had never met her...

A moment later he was interrupted in his thoughts as he heard Haley's voice from behind.

"You're finally home..."

He turned around and they shared a smile. Haley walked up to him and he put his left arm around her waist, giving her a soft kiss onto her right temple.

"I hope I didn't wake you up." Hotch said, looking at his wife.

"No, you didn't...I woke up because I was thirsty so I wanted to go downstairs to get some water..." She looked him straight into the eyes and added,

"You should get some sleep..."

Hotch only nodded trying to get Elle out of his head.

Tbc

A/N: Hope u liked it! Please take the time to review!